Who We Are
by njborba
Summary: Emily's life is turned upside down when she attempts to help a mother and daughter who show up unexpectedly at the BAU.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

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**Who We Are  
**Part 1

By N. J. Borba

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Emily entered the conference room Friday morning with coffee in hand and a horrible headache. She hadn't slept well the night before, or the last few weeks for that matter. She'd been waking in the middle of the night; cold sweats, racing heart and a feeling of complete helplessness. There was never any dream to be remembered when she woke, and it was typical for her to be awake for a good few hours before falling asleep again, if she could even get back to sleep. So far Emily thought she'd done a pretty good job of hiding it, but Derek Morgan blew that small hope out of the water as she slid into the seat beside him.

"You okay?" he asked, noticing the dark circles beneath her eyes.

In all fairness, it should have been her asking him that question. The last few months since his ordeal with Spicer's family had been rough, to say the least. Yet here he was worried about her. It certainly wasn't her first flirtation with guilt. She glanced around the circular table at the others who'd already gathered. JJ sat closest to the video screen, Reid to Morgan's right and Rossi across from her. Thankfully Hotch hadn't arrived yet, because Emily wasn't big on sharing in group settings. As it was, she settled on a simple, "I'm fine," then sipped from her steaming mug of coffee.

"It's just..." Derek hesitated only a second before speaking his mind. "You look really tired."

"Thanks," she replied, though the tone of her word was anything but grateful. "You really know how to make a girl feel good first thing in the morning." Lack of sleep seemed to be directly portioned with her tongue's tendency to lash out.

Derek didn't bite the hook she'd just baited. He had no intention of apologizing, because he'd been genuinely concerned about her for the last couple of weeks, watching her drag through the day; her movements sluggish, as well as her mind. She was always a pillar of strength within the team, and she'd been his greatest source of support lately; the shoulder he kept leaning on. Without her, Derek wasn't quite sure he would have made it through the last couple of months. He knew better than to push her, though. "I was just making an observation," he tried to ease out of the conversation.

"Yeah, well..." she sighed, leaning forward in her chair to avoid eye contact with him. "I really hate profilers some days."

"Saying that implies that you hate yourself some days," Reid noted.

Emily shot the young man a withering look. "Seriously, Reid. Don't start," she snapped at him.

Spencer gulped. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Hotch entered the room, ending all side conversation. JJ rose to begin their meeting and a few minutes later the team was absorbed in victim photos that flashed across the screen. The first set showed two thirty-something blonde women from St. Louis, both who'd been stabbed in the abdomen. The second group of pictures depicted an equal number of male and female victims in a recent rash of drowning cases along the Mississippi River. A last set revealed two five-year-old girls from the small city of Pullman, Washington. The team listened and offered feedback as JJ went over the potential cases.

"So, Whitman County police have two dead girls; both in Kindergarten and both bodies found along the Snake River," Morgan started in after JJ's summary; the case striking a deeper cord with him after his dealings with Ellie Spicer. "And they haven't connected any of that?"

"Oh, they have," JJ replied. "But both cases have ties to Washington State University, and the college wants to keep things as quiet as possible," she explained. "Debra Campbell, the mother of the second victim, Nell Campbell, brought this case to my attention. Her husband is an assistant professor of veterinary medicine at the school. She's been combing news videos and newspapers for case details because she doesn't think the police are doing everything possible to find this killer."

Hotch frowned, fearing he wasn't going to like where JJ was headed. "Has she addressed her concern with the police department?" he asked.

JJ nodded. "Yes, and they keep giving her the run around… so she says." The media liaison took a quick breath. "Mrs. Campbell is obviously upset, her daughter died two weeks ago and she's seeking answers as to why. Her emotions are probably skewing her ability to be reasonable. And the police really can't be responsible for hand holding, but…"

"You said you'd help anyway," Hotch deduced.

She looked sufficiently chastised by the accusatory tone in his voice, but JJ charged forward. "I explained to Mrs. Campbell that there's nothing we can do unless the authorities invite us in. But I also told her I'd present the case to my team. That way, if they do call us in at some point, we'll at least be aware of the situation."

Hotch closed the file in front of him. "And we're aware of it now." The Unit Chief was not unaffected by the woman's plight, and cases with kids always touched the team more than others, but there was really nothing he could do if local authorities didn't ask for their help. It was always a hardship trying to determine top priority, and it was sometimes made worse; knowing they could help but not being allowed to. "Have we got anything else to go over?"

"Actually, no," JJ answered. "Unless we get called in on the cases I just went over, or something else crosses my desk today, our work load will be significantly lighter than usual next week."

"Doesn't sound like such a bad thing," Prentiss noted, trying hard not to think about the dead girl's mother.

"It is if you want a paycheck," Morgan quipped, hoping to dispel some of their earlier tensions. He instantly regretted the words, though, realizing his barb sounded wholly insensitive. His comedic timing never had been the greatest, not to mention that he knew she wasn't interested in money when it came to their job. Neither was he for that matter, although it helped in the matter of basic living. He flashed apologetic eyes her way and she acknowledged with a reflection of the gesture. Morgan was grateful, though he still thought she looked more tired than usual.

Before the team could think to leave, a knock sounded at the closed door. A second later Agent Anderson opened the partition a crack, poked his head into the room and looked to Hotch. "I'm sorry to interrupt, sir," he said. "But there's a woman down at the main entry who claims she needs to speak to someone in the BAU as soon as possible. Actually, she mentioned Agent Jareau by name."

"A woman?" Hotch gazed at the agent with questioning eyes, clearly seeking more of an explanation.

Anderson shrugged. "I went down to speak with her, but all she would say is that her name is Anna Wallace and she's trying to figure out who she is. She has a young girl with her, I'm assuming her daughter, but neither of them have proper ID," he concluded.

JJ caught the quizzical look Hotch shot her. "That name doesn't ring a bell," she let him know. "But, we don't have anything pressing. We could at least talk to her," she suggested, intrigued by the fact that the woman seemed to know her name.

Hotch glanced around the table and received approving nods from his other team members. "Have them sent up, Anderson," he finally agreed.

Barely five minutes later Anderson held the conference room door open for the woman and child. The woman was tall and slender with dark brown hair that rested just above her shoulders. She had hazel eyes and porcelain skin. If it weren't for her attire; a cream colored blouse and dark green pleated skirt that looked like something out of an episode of _Little House on the Prairie_, she could have easily passed for a super model. The young girl at her side wore similar out-dated clothing, light colored blouse and dark skirt. She was also tall and lanky. Her emerald-green eyes complimented a head of brown hair that was longer than her mothers and braided down her back. She looked to be about eight or nine years old and was clutching a ragdoll.

Both of them seemed rather shy as they stood just inside the door, clearly trying to determine what they should do. Anna placed her hands protectively against the child's shoulders as the girl stood in front of her. Anderson departed, closing the door behind him. Morgan got to his feet and was the first to greet them, right hand outstretched. "Derek Morgan," he smiled.

"Anna Wallace," the woman replied, shaking his hand warmly, yet warily. Her hands rested on the girl's shoulders again after that quick exchange. "This is my daughter, Michelle." The child waved demurely but remained silent as Derek directed them to the chair he'd just vacated. Emily got up and offered her seat to the girl while Anna took Derek's. After making introductions all around the table, Prentiss and Morgan sat on the sofa that resided against the back wall of the room.

"Agent Anderson briefly mentioned that you're trying to figure out who you are?" Rossi was the first to open up a dialogue with the attractive woman.

She nodded. "Maybe this will sound strange to you," Anna shrugged. "I'm forty-three years old and I have lived most of my life as Anna Wallace, but I'm certain that isn't the name I was given at birth. However, I can't recall any other name I might have had. Nor do I remember my real parents. What I do remember is being very young and there was a house and a car; I remember seeing that house from the back seat of the car and knowing that I wasn't supposed to be leaving."

"You think you were kidnapped?" Hotch asked.

"Yes," Anna replied.

"Why did you come to the BAU?" Reid was curious as to how that leap had been made.

The woman looked a little apprehensive. "It is a bit of a long story, and not one that makes a lot of sense in some parts. But I assure you that it is an honest story."

Emily watched the woman, noticing how she held her hands folded in her lap and how her eyes rarely ever left her daughter. Her words were nearly exact, the way you'd expect from an English text book. There was a serious lack of contractions used as she spoke, suggesting that she didn't socialize much. She'd obviously lived a sheltered life and appeared subservient in many ways. There was uncertainty in her voice, and yet, she also seemed determined.

"We'd like to hear your story," Prentiss offered. "You can take all the time you need."

Anna looked Emily in the eye and smiled for the first time since she'd entered the room. She seemed to physically relax after that. Her gaze returned to her daughter as she began to explain the story. "My parents, the people who I think took me from my real family, lived on a parcel of farmland south-west of Wichita, Kansas. Eric and I were home schooled by our… by the woman who raised us."

"Eric?" JJ questioned the male name.

"Eric Wallace was…" Anna paused a moment and sighed. "He was taken by them too, at some point before I came to live with them. We were raised as brother and sister, but we… well, we always knew we were not related in such a way and we grew to love each other as more than that. When our parents died many years after our abductions, Eric and I were married. He was my husband and Michelle's father."

"You were legally married?" Dave queried.

She shook her head slightly. "It was not a legal union. Neither of us had birth certificates. Our home schooling wasn't even accredited due to the lack of documentation on our existence. When the Wallace's passed away we inherited the farm. That was not legal either. No one paid much attention to us, though, thinking we were just backward country folk."

Anna looked around the room and settled on Emily for a moment, seeming to find strength in her kind eyes. "We went into town very rarely and only to visit the local library or to pick up a few items that we couldn't provide for ourselves on the farm. But mostly we were self sufficient on the land," she explained. "We even made a little money selling the extra produce we cultivated. We were not rich by any means, but we were relatively happy," she surmised.

Emily listened as Anna spoke with pride, daring them to speak ill against her way of life. "Where is Eric now?" Prentiss asked.

Taking one of Michelle's hands in her own, Anna patted it lightly. "He passed away, almost a year ago," the woman answered.

"I'm very sorry for your loss," Morgan spoke, looking from Anna to the girl. He knew what it was like to lose a father at a young age, or at any age. And he couldn't help retreating to their case in Los Angeles several weeks ago, and the girl Ellie Spicer; the case that was still having major repercussions on his life. "Can I get either of you something to drink, coffee or water?" he offered.

"No, thank you," Anna replied as Michelle remained quiet. "You asked how I came to the BAU and I'd like to tell you without taking too much of your time." She resumed her story. "Eric and I were in our early thirties when the Wallace's passed away. At that point Eric and I both wished to discover more about our lives before we were taken. Even though we vowed to love each other no matter what happened, we needed to know the truth."

Hotch nodded. "That's understandable," he offered.

"We searched for years without success." Anna looked over at her daughter with pride. "Michelle was a surprise to us, a very wonderful one. After she was born we stopped looking for a time, realizing we had a new family that we'd forged together."

Reid wore a lopsided smile as he glanced around the room. "Families form in the most unexpected ways sometimes," he let her know.

Anna smiled, too, but her eyes dimmed a moment later. "Eric was sick for many years. We paid for what little medication and treatment we could, but it was never enough. The tumor was inoperable and it eventually took him. In his last days he begged me to keep looking, to find my family so that Michelle and I wouldn't be alone. I promised him I would, though I didn't have a clue how."

"But you made it here," Emily noted. "You obviously figured out something." She couldn't help feeling bad listening to the woman's story. But in Anna's eyes she could still see pride and hope. It made her want to fight for the woman. "What did you find?" Prentiss asked.

"After Eric passed, I tried to make money. I could not farm all the land myself and I wanted a better life for Michelle, more opportunities for her, maybe even the possibility of attending fine schools and college. I decided I would sell the farm and move to a larger city where I could work and send Michelle to one of those good schools. When I searched for the property deed, I found something else; a journal that Eric had been keeping."

Derek made a quick guess. "He'd already found something about your past?"

"More like a key that might open another door," she replied. "He had been afraid to tell me."

"But he did want you to continue searching," Emily recalled what Anna had said a few minutes ago. "I'm sure he only ever had your best interest at heart." She wasn't sure, though, why it seemed important to reassure the woman of that. Emily didn't even know Eric; or Anna for that matter. Yet she found herself completely engrossed in the story and the mystery surrounding their kidnappings.

Anna smiled sadly. "I suppose he did," she agreed.

"Do you have the journal with you?" Hotch asked.

She nodded and retrieved a leather suitcase that had been left just outside the conference room. It was old and worn with rusty metal latches that barely looked like they were up to the job of keeping the case properly closed. Anna opened the suitcase, looking a little embarrassed. "This is all we have left, other than each other," she explained while extracting the journal.

"What do you mean?" JJ questioned. "Didn't you sell the farm?"

Anna sighed heavily as she closed the suitcase, placed it on the floor and then sat down with the journal in her lap. "I tried to sell, but the state discovered that I had no legal rights to the land or the old house. They seized everything. What little money I had stashed away, I used to buy bus tickets to Virginia. Michelle and I walked for three hours this morning to get to Quantico, because our bus would not stop out here."

None of them quite knew what to say to that. They remained quiet as Anna handed her dead husband's journal to the person seated beside her. "This section here," Anna pointed to the page she'd turned to. Reid read the words aloud.

"_I talked to the local police today and they actually laughed at me. I guess I can't blame them. You tell someone you think you might have been kidnapped forty years ago, well, that can be hard to take seriously. I also called a few more private detectives, but they want a lot of money. I feel guilty, because it's my fault our budget is so tight. I wish this illness would just take me now. But I keep fighting for them; for Anna and Michelle. I can't bear the thought of them being alone. So, I did more research on the internet at the library this afternoon. They only allow thirty minute sessions and a limit of three of those per day_. _But it's worth the effort._

"_Today I found something interesting, a group I'd never heard of before. The BAU: Behavioral Analysis Unit, which is a division of the F.B.I. I don't know why I think they can help, or even that they would help. From what I read they mostly track serial killers. Sometimes they work kidnappings, though they're usually recent ones. Forty years is a long time for a trail to run cold. But there was a news archive and I watched a press conference with a young blonde woman. The name at the bottom of the screen was Jennifer Jareau. She seemed, I don't know, honest and kind; the type of person who might help us_.

"_I know it's a long shot, but I also fear I don't have long to live. I want Anna and Michelle to have something after I'm gone, a family who will take them in. On the other hand, I'm very worried that maybe her family won't want to know who she is now. Sometimes I wonder if they were worse than the Wallace's who raised us. Maybe the Wallace's thought they were saving us from more pain, though that's hard to imagine after enduring the things they did to us. My head is at war with these thoughts as I prepare for bed. I doubt sleep will come easily tonight_."

Reid looked up when he was finished reading. "That's how you knew JJ's name."

"Yes, she was the key I spoke of. I had to at least try it in the lock," Anna replied. She stood up then and took Michelle by one hand, suitcase in the other. "That is all I can tell you. I imagine it is not nearly enough to figure out who I am, but I appreciate that you have taken the time to listen. You may keep the journal if you think it might help. I have my memories of Eric, I don't need his words. We should be going now."

Morgan and Emily both jumped to their feet, almost in unison. "You can't just leave," Derek said.

"Where will you go?" Emily added.

Anna turned to face them. "I suppose we will find a shelter. Then I will have to find a job and get Michelle settled at a school. I am a hard worker, I will find something." She seemed positive about the whole situation.

Rossi cringed a little, recalling some details about Anna's life. "You don't have any identification, no birth certificate. No high school diploma or GED certificate. And I imagine you don't have a social security number either. I'm afraid you won't be able to get a job very easily without those things."

Emily watched as the woman's face fell a little, though she remained strong. Clearly she didn't want her daughter to understand the direness of their situation. "Anna, will you and Michelle wait in the bullpen for a few minutes?" she proposed, thoughts already churning in her head. "The team and I need to discuss a few things, but I think we can help you." Prentiss smiled reassuringly and opened the door. She pointed down to her desk. "You can wait there, okay?"

Anna looked a little uncertain, but nodded and guided her daughter down to the desk. Emily watched them go then closed the door and turned to the group. "How do you think you can help?" Morgan asked her.

"First of all, she comes in here claiming she doesn't know who she is," Emily started as she walked around the table and scooped up Eric's journal. Suddenly, with a purpose under her belt, she felt wide awake. "If she stays at a shelter they could start asking questions and maybe even call in Social Services. And what do you think they're going to do in this situation?"

"Psychiatric evaluation," Reid answered with utmost certainty.

"Which means they could take her daughter away," JJ concluded.

Emily nodded. "I believed her story, and taking her daughter away isn't going to do either of them any good," she concluded.

"I agree," Reid chimed in. He knew that he'd been one of the only things to keep his mother hanging on during the darkest days of her turmoil. "She appears to be of sound mind, intelligent even, considering that she's probably been extremely isolated for the last forty years."

Hotch listened to the team and agreed that it wouldn't serve for the woman and her daughter to be separated. He looked to Emily, who had brought this all to their attention in the first place. "So, what are you suggesting, Prentiss?"

"They can stay with me for a while," she replied without hesitation. "At least until we can figure out some way for them to stay together and get Anna a job. I'll take full responsibility for them," Prentiss insisted.

Rossi frowned at her suggestion. "You don't know anything about this woman. Her story and mind may be sound, but other than that," he shrugged, not feeling overly confident about the situation. "Not to mention, forty years is a long time. We may never find out who she is," he pointed out, electing himself to be the voice of reason. "And it really isn't our job either."

"I can make just about anything a BAU case," JJ jumped in, having proclaimed that very fact a time or two before.

Emily was thankful of JJ's supportive words. "We could at least help them carve out some kind of life, even if it's only to legally establish them firmly under the names of Anna and Michelle Wallace," she concluded.

The Unit Chief remembered another time when Emily had volunteered to take someone in. Then it had been a teenaged girl who'd just lost her parents and brother in a home invasion. He sometimes feared that Emily's heart was bigger than it should be for performing the work they did. But she'd proven herself on the job many times over the years. And he really had no grounds for telling her what she could and couldn't do as far as taking in house guests.

"The decision to take them in is fully yours," Hotch conceded. "As for this being a BAU case," he turned his attention to JJ. "No one is in dire need of our help here and there's really nobody to punish, considering the Wallace's are already dead. Therefore, I suggest we keep this matter unofficial." Hotch glanced around the table. "Whoever wants to work on this can do so on their time. That's the best I can do."

Prentiss gave him a quick, curt nod. "Understood."

The team dispersed after that, but Derek caught Emily's arm before she could exit the conference room. "Do you really think this is smart?" he asked her, having kept quiet the whole time she was lobbying to take in the mother and child.

She was a little bit surprised by his question. "You jumped up too. I could tell you didn't want to just let them walk out of here," Emily pointed out.

"No, I didn't," he slowly breathed out the words. "I was concerned about them going to a shelter," Morgan admitted. "But inviting strangers into your home is above and beyond the call of duty here, Prentiss. It's not like taking in a lost puppy."

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she carefully considered his words. He was right, of course. And she'd seen the clearly defined hesitation on everyone else's faces. She honestly couldn't explain her reasoning, though, not to herself and certainly not to the rest of the team. "It just feels like the right thing to do," Emily replied.

"Okay," he gave in more easily than he'd planned. If there was one thing he trusted, it was Emily's instincts. He also knew she could defend herself if need be. But, as he watched her exit the room, Derek still couldn't help worrying. "Hey," he called out after her. "Are we alright?"

Emily looked over her shoulder at him and nodded, feeling some of her earlier tension ebb. "Yeah, we're good," she assured him.

xxx

The soft, lilting tones of an old French folksong greeted her ears as she walked down the dimly lit hall. Emily stopped and stood in the doorway of her guest room, bare feet resting on carpet. The room bore tan walls and a full-sized bed by the window. A small nightstand held a lamp, but that was the extent of the room's décor. As she continued listening to Anna sing to her daughter, Emily found it amusing how Derek had been worried. The thought of them being dangerous had never even crossed her mind. And the scene before her further grounded Emily's belief that welcoming them into her home had been the right thing to do.

Anna had actually been the suspicious one about being invited to stay with Emily, and rightfully so. She had a child to consider and protect. But, after Emily had left work early and taken them both out to lunch, they'd spoken at length about Anna's other options. The woman had quickly come to the same conclusions as the team in regard to what might happen at a shelter. Too many questions could lead to trouble that Anna didn't need.

The lyrics faded as Michelle closed her eyes and snuggled into the foreign bed. Anna placed a kiss against her daughter's forehead, rose from her place on the edge of the mattress and moved toward the door. She and Emily leaned against opposite sides of the door frame, watching the sleeping child. "She was very tired," Anna remarked. "But she was uncertain about sleeping here. The song has long been one of her favorites. It always helps her sleep."

"_Au clair de la lune_," Emily had easily recognized the tune. "I remember visiting my grandfather in France; he hummed that all the time. It became a favorite of mine as well. How did you learn French?"

The older woman wrapped both arms around her waist. "From books and tapes I got at the library. But the song is actually something I've always known. I used to sing it to myself as a child. It helped me fall asleep on nights when I was too scared to shut my eyes."

Emily wondered, not for the first time that day, what exactly the Wallace's had done to Anna and Eric. The things that came to mind were of no comfort, but at least Anna had endured. "Maybe your real mother used to sing it to you?"

"Maybe," Anna agreed, her eyes brightening a little as she tried to recall. "I never actually thought about that before," she admitted. "I guess I always assumed it was Mrs. Wallace that sang it to me, but now that you mention it, I don't think she liked singing. It's strange how memories can come and go so suddenly like that."

"It could be the different setting," Emily replied. "Sometimes a change of scenery can cause different memories to surface. You spent almost your whole life on that farm, it's not surprising that things were bogged down in your mind by the sameness of your surroundings. And every little detail like the one you just remembered could help us figure out more of your past," she concluded.

Anna let a small smile lift the corners of her mouth. "That's what you do, isn't it? You study all those little details about a person."

"Yes."

"Fascinating," Anna was truly intrigued by the idea.

Emily noted the woman's interest. "You never attended a real school, did you? You never went to college?" She watched Anna shake her head. "Do you ever think you might have done something different with your life, if you'd lived with your real parents? If you'd had more opportunities to do something else?"

"Something other than farm work? Oh, yes," Anna adamantly replied. "Eric always told me how smart I was, he was the one who encouraged me to read and visit the library every chance I got. Books became an escape for me. The Wallace's taught us the basics, but I taught myself far more." A wistful smile floated across her face, having thought of the possibilities many times. "I think I would have liked to become a doctor of some sort, a pediatrician most likely. I believe helping kids would be a wonderful thing. Do you help kids in your line of work?"

"Sometimes, yes," Emily smiled too. It was sad to think of the sheltered life Anna had led, but the woman had obviously created some escapes from it all.

"But you don't have any children, or a husband," Anna boldly noted. She'd wandered through the pristinely kept home of Emily Prentiss earlier in the day, and had found very little in the way of personal touches.

Emily shook her head. "I guess I'm too married to my job. The people I work with are like family."

"What about your real family?" As Anna grew more at ease with her new friend, she also became more inquisitive. She always told her daughter that a curious soul was one that would go far and learn much in life.

"There's just my parents and I," Emily replied. "And I don't really keep in touch with them," she admitted, instantly feeling bad for the comment. Here Anna didn't even know her real family and Emily was telling her that she took hers for granted most of the time. She noticed the tired yawn that escaped the woman's mouth and welcomed the distraction. "Is there anything else you need, more blankets or…" she paused. "You could take my bed if you'd like. It would be nicer than sharing a bed with an eight-year-old. And I could crash on the sofa. I'm used to not sleeping in my own bed."

"No," Anna shook her head emphatically. "I couldn't impose like that. This," she waved a hand over the yoga pants and t-shirt she was borrowing to sleep in, and then motioned toward the guest room where her daughter was fast asleep. "What you've done for us is already too much kindness."

Emily shrugged Anna's words off. She believed firmly in the old saying, what goes around comes around. "Well, you know where the bathroom is," she pointed over her shoulder. "And I'll leave the hall light on for you. If you wake up, there's tea in the cupboard closest to the fridge and coffee in the canister by the stove. I imagine you'd like to sleep in after today's events, though." Emily knew that emotional exhaustion could almost be worse than the physical type.

Anna placed a hand gently upon her host's shoulder. "Please, do not worry about us. We will be fine."

A slow smile crept over Emily's lips. She nodded, finding it funny how Anna was the one reassuring her when it should have been the other way around. That was certainly a motherly trait. "Well, goodnight then."

"Emily," Anna stopped her before she could leave. "There is one thing. Do you lock your weapon at night?"

A brief moment of fear slid down Emily's back like ice cold fingers. Then she followed Anna's gaze and spotted Michelle tucked in, safe and warm in the bed. Emily let out a soft sigh of relief, realizing the woman's worry. "Yes," she answered in a reassuring manner.

Anna also breathed a sigh of relief. She gave Emily a quick nod of thanks and said a final, "Goodnight."

Emily retreated to the sanctity of her bedroom. She hadn't lied to Anna about being used to sleeping in other beds, but she had to admit there was something special about climbing into her own. Even so, her eyes closed for a long time without success of sleep and Emily finally sat up again and flicked on the bedside lamp. She thought briefly about counting sheep and other equally ridiculous ways of trying to induce sleep. Then she spotted something sticking up out of her work bag. Emily got up, plucked the item out of the leather tote and settled back into bed.

Eric Wallace's journal cover stared back at her as she contemplated reading some of his other entries. It seemed wrong, yet Anna had been willing to offer up his words as a means to help. At the moment, Emily was keen on helping if she could. The fabric cover was tattered, and when she flipped it open Emily couldn't help being intrigued by what she might discover.

_"It's been ten years since Anna arrived and I still can't forget the horrible thoughts I had the first day I saw her. I know I was just a kid and scared. But the first thing I thought was that maybe now she will be the one they lock in that smelly old barn on Sundays. Maybe she will be the one they preach to. And maybe... maybe she'll be the one they do those other horrible things to instead of me..."_

She slammed the journal shut with shaking hands. Emily let it fall to the floor and quickly turned off the lamp. As she lay curled up tight beneath her bed covers, Emily tried to think of something other than all the awful scenarios running through her head; things the Wallace's might have done to Anna and Eric. But thoughts of her recurring dream also crept back into her head and Emily feared she might never fall asleep again.

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**To Be Continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

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**Who We Are  
**Part 2

By N. J. Borba

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Saturday morning dawned with the promise of being a sunny October day. Emily was the first one awake, mainly because she hadn't slept more than about two hours the whole night. Michelle was the second one up. She descended the stairs, still dressed in Emily's oversized Yale t-shirt; light blue with bulldog logo. The girl ambled into the kitchen with her dark hair matted down on the left side and sticking out at odd angles on the right. Her green eyes shimmered in a refreshed manner as she stared up at Emily and smiled shyly, doll tucked under one arm. Emily had coffee brewing and was leaning heavily against the kitchen counter. She wasn't nearly as well rested as the child appeared to be, but she couldn't help feeling at ease in the girl's presence.

"I'm guessing you're not much of a coffee drinker," Emily joked. Michelle's smile brightened a little as she shook her head in response. "Well…" Emily pushed away from the counter. "I have orange juice, would you like some of that?" She noticed that the girl seemed a little hesitant to respond. "You can wait for your mom to wake up if you want. She'll tell you if it's okay or not."

"It's okay," Michelle finally spoke, her youthful voice sweet like honey. "Mommy told me last night that she trusts you. And I would like some orange juice, please."

One of the biggest smiles Emily had worn in a long time bloomed upon her lips. "One glass of orange juice coming right up then," she quickly obliged the polite request. After coaxing the girl onto a bar stool, she presented the juice to Michelle. "And how about your doll, would she like some juice, too?" Emily asked.

Michelle chuckled. "No, Baleine can't drink anything. She's just got stuffing on the inside," she explained.

"Baleine?" Emily questioned the French term as she carefully examined the doll. The toy had long pieces of yellow yarn for hair, blue button-eyes and a red and white checkered dress. "She doesn't look like a baleine to me."

The girl laughed again. "Mommy teaches me French words and I really liked baleine because whales are my favorite animal. I want to see a real one someday. We didn't have whales where we lived on the farm. Just cows, chickens, a goat and two horses. I miss them now."

"I'm sorry," Emily sympathized, sad that the girl's life had been completely uprooted. After pouring herself a mug full of coffee and dumping a copious amount of sweetener into it, Emily took several long sips. As the caffeine slowly worked its magic she searched the contents of her refrigerator and freezer. There wasn't much to be had, but she did find something that might do the trick. "Do you like frozen pancakes?"

Michelle looked a little confused. "Mommy makes the best pancakes," she finally replied.

"I'm sure she does," Emily acknowledged, feeling a little ashamed of her cellophane wrapped pancakes from a box. "These are the kind you toss in a toaster. Not the greatest, but about the best I get at pancake making," she admitted. "And I think it might be nice to let your mom sleep a little longer." Emily decided to warm a few and presented them to the child. "I figure we can choke them down with enough maple syrup."

The girl nodded and dug into the meal, seeming perfectly happy with the food. She promptly ate two and asked for another. While it was toasting, the girl looked to Emily with serious eyes. "Emily, can I ask you something important?"

"What is it, chaton?" Emily replied, curious if the child knew other French animal words. The amused grin she received from Michelle was answer enough, but the girl's smile lost a little of its spark as she asked her question.

"Is my mom going to leave me like daddy?"

The question gave Emily pause for a moment, but she answered the best she could. "I'm going to make sure that you and your mom stay together. I promise."

Michelle was content with that assurance and started in on her third pancake. The child also eagerly accepted some apple slices and a second glass of juice, all of which Emily happily provided. The two of them were still munching on fruit and chatting animatedly about life underwater when the girl's mother joined them in the kitchen an hour later. Anna kissed the top of her daughter's head and looked to Emily. "I apologize for not realizing she had left the room. I do not normally sleep in this late, but I slept very well here. I hope she has not been a bother."

"No bother at all," Emily assured her. "In fact, she was telling me that you make really good pancakes. I fed her some frozen ones just now, but maybe you could make some for us tomorrow morning," she suggested, hoping it might help them both feel more at home. "I have flour, sugar, water... I don't actually know what else you might need, but we could pick it up at the store later. There's probably a ton of stuff you guys would like. I don't really eat here that often, being away for work a lot."

"I don't want you to go to any trouble on our behalf," Anna sat beside Michelle at the counter and attempted to tame the child's hair using her fingers as a comb. "Your offer to help me search for my family and taking us in like this..." she was growing short of suitable ways to say thank you. "Some day when I can repay you, I will."

Emily shook her head. "Please don't worry about that right now, we can..." her words were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. She looked to Michelle. "Are you expecting anyone?" Emily asked.

The girl giggled. "No," she answered.

"Well..." Emily slowly edged away from the counter. "I guess it must be for me then." She reached the door, looked through the peep hole and suddenly remembered it was Saturday morning. Emily sucked in her bottom lip as she opened the door and faced Derek with an apologetic expression. "I completely forgot about our run. I'm sorry, but with everything that's going on it just slipped my mind, and I should have called you."

"No, I should have realized," Morgan stopped her apology. "It's okay. Maybe we can do it next weekend?"

"That would probably be best."

Anna couldn't help overhear and came to join them at the door. She saw that Derek was dressed in a t-shirt and sweat pants, quite a difference from his professional attire at the office the day before. His kind smile flashed her way and she returned the gesture. "You two should go," Anna insisted. "I don't want to interrupt your plans. Michelle and I can go for a walk while you are gone. I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable about us being in your home when you are not here."

"I wouldn't feel that way at all," Emily replied, noticing that the woman had twice used a contraction while speaking. For some reason it made her feel proud to know she was having some influence on Anna. She eyed Derek for a moment, noticing that he seemed rather quiet about the whole situation. Emily motioned him inside and shut the door. "You two can stay here," she addressed Anna again, plucking her key ring off a hook by the door. Emily removed the house key. "Take this, and if you do want to go out for a walk, just be sure to lock it up."

"Really, you don't have to..."

Emily stopped Anna in mid protest. She took the woman's hand and placed the key in it. "I trust you." There was finality to her tone and Anna nodded, not saying another word. Emily returned her attention to Derek. "Just give me about five minutes to change."

Morgan gave a nod as she headed upstairs. He moved into the kitchen, trailing after Anna. When he spotted Michelle, Derek was surprised to see the girl grinning happily in his direction. "Hi, Derek," she easily remembered his name from yesterday. "Emily made me frozen pancakes and juice and fruit this morning. Mommy's pancakes are still better, but Emily is really nice."

"And she seems to have made a friend," Derek noted as the girl went on about Emily. It was quite a different picture from the shy, silent child he'd met the day before. A smile sat upon his face, despite his misgivings about the people Emily had taken in.

Good as her word, Emily materialized five minutes later clothed in her running pants, sneakers, lightweight hoodie, and hair done up in a ponytail. They set off straight away. Derek drove them to a nearby park where they'd gone running together before. It had actually turned into a pretty regular Saturday morning routine for them since returning from Los Angeles, at least as routine as they could get with their working schedule. It was sort of like therapy for both of them, though neither of them would ever admit as much. And some Sunday mornings they even went for a bike ride to change up their workout-therapy routine.

They were a little over three laps into their run around the small lake when Derek looked over and realized that Emily was several yards behind him. "That's more of a jog than a run, Prentiss," he couldn't help tease her about it. Derek slowed down and ran backwards, watching as she glared at him for the comment.

"It took me a while to get to sleep last night," she replied, knowing that her feet were dragging.

He slowed some more to let her catch up. "Oh yeah, worried that someone might slit your throat in the middle of the night?"

"Morgan, please don't," she warned, not at all amused by his insinuation about her house guests. When she caught up they jogged side-by-side as he continued to match her pace. "I know you think it's weird that I asked them to stay with me, but…" Emily stopped short of defending herself again when she realized something. "You knew I probably wouldn't remember our run this morning, didn't you?" she asked. "With all that happened yesterday, you must have suspected I'd forget. But you showed up anyway, because you thought Anna might try to hurt me?"

He shrugged. "I'm not going to apologize for worrying."

She wanted to be mad at his distrustful nature, but Emily knew it was a byproduct of the job. Instead, she was touched that he cared. "Thank you."

Derek silently took her words in, knowing he'd dodged a bullet on that one. And he really was trying to keep an open mind. "So, you think Anna is okay?" he asked, curious about what Emily might have discovered about the woman.

"I honestly don't think she's the kind of person that would murder me in my sleep, if that's what you mean?" Emily wasn't quite sure in what context he'd asked, especially after his first remark. "If you mean emotionally, there's clearly something wrong. She's confused about her past, but also really determined to find some answers. I get the feeling there's more to her quest than she's letting on to any of us."

"More than finding out who her real family is?" Derek questioned. "Like what?"

"I don't know," Emily answered as they approached one of the grassy clearings where they usually stopped to add sets of sit-ups to their workout. Typically they would do five laps around the tree-lined lake, then their sit-ups, followed by five more laps. But Emily had barely made it the first three laps. She watched morosely as he made the turnoff toward the clearing. "Morgan, you and your sit-ups are going to be the death of me this morning," Emily groaned.

He chuckled. "You don't have to do any; I'll go easy on you since you didn't sleep well." Derek sat down on the grassy patch of land, which was still a little damp from the morning dew. He leaned back and bent his knees. "Will you at least hold my feet?"

"Sure," Emily agreed. She knelt down in front of him and pressed her hands against the dark running shoes he was wearing. Emily began to count off for him, noting each time his elbows brushed the top of his knees.

"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?" he asked. Morgan watched her gaze shift to the ground and knew he'd hit a nerve. "It just feels like you're holding something back, which is completely within your right. But, I'm here to listen if you want." Derek was hoping that the outdoor setting and fresh air might help her open up. Anything would be better than the way she'd reacted to his friendly attempts to chat about things at work the day before.

Emily bit down softly on her lip. "It's nothing," she replied, a little annoyed by the way he could tell she was holding something back. At the same time it comforted her to know that he understood her so well. There'd been very few people in her life who she'd considered good friends, but Derek Morgan was one of the best. "Fifty, fifty-one…" she counted aloud, noticing the growing look of disapproval on his face at her avoidance. Emily was amazed he could show any emotion other than being tired, yet he was cranking out sit-ups like he could do them all day long. "It's silly," she sighed.

Derek took quick puffs of breath as he moved up and down, tensing his abdominal muscles on every up motion. "Is it nothing or is it silly?" he asked. "And more importantly, is it related to you not getting enough sleep lately?"

"Brilliant deduction, Watson," she quipped, moving her count to silent mode again. "Perhaps you should've been a detective of some sort," Emily continued to joke until she saw the half-frown perched on his face. It was clear he wasn't going to be diverted from the conversation a second time. "It's this odd dream I've been having lately," Emily finally spilled. "I don't actually remember anything about it, except that I always feel like there's something I'm meant to be doing, but I don't know what. And in the end I feel helpless to stop whatever it is that's happening," she tried to explain.

Morgan halted his sit-ups, looking her in the eye. "In my dreams I can't quite reach the person I'm trying to save," he revealed. "For years it used to be my dad I was trying to help, but ever since Los Angeles it's been Ellie's face I see as Flynn walks her out of that bedroom. And there's never a damn thing I can do about it."

Emily's heart ached as she listened to him speak so honestly, but she was relieved to hear him divulge that much information. It was more than he'd ever spoken about the ordeal. "How's Ellie doing?" she asked, knowing the girl's survival was the biggest point she wanted to drive home for him.

"Good," he resumed his sit-ups. "She loves school and her foster parents have been talking about adoption."

"Then it's a good thing you already had them checked out," Emily noted.

Derek's face revealed his surprise at her knowledge of that fact. "Garcia's got a big mouth."

"Penelope didn't tell me," Emily revealed. "Well, at least not until I went to her asking for a background check on Ellie's foster parents. That's when she decided it best to tell me you already had it covered."

He grinned, not terribly shocked that she'd been on the same wavelength as him where Ellie was concerned. Their mutual concern for the foster care system harkened back to a case in which a family had been mistreating children for years. But knowing she wouldn't take kindly to any gratitude on his part, Morgan returned to what they'd been talking about earlier. "Is there anything else you can remember about the dream?" he questioned. "Even the smallest detail?"

"Nothing," a deflated sigh escaped her lips. "Just a feeling of frustration… of failure," she added.

"What about Anna?" he wondered if her dream had anything to do with her sudden need to help the woman. "Has she given you anything more to work with?"

"Maybe," Emily replied. "Anna was singing a French song to Michelle last night. She told me it's a tune she remembers from when she was little."

"Could be significant," Derek reasoned. "We should have Garcia search for missing kids with last names of a French origin," he suggested. "Connect that up with the right time frame, it's worth a shot."

She nodded along. "I was thinking she could search Canadian records as well. They predominately speak French in the Quebec province, and forty years ago it wouldn't have been so hard to get a child across the border," Emily mused aloud.

"Good thinking," Derek said through another exhale of breath as he continued to pump out his sit-ups. "But, it's been forty years, Emily. That's a long time."

"I know that," her reply was rather sharp. "Why does everyone feel the need to keep pointing out how long ago forty years was? I get it, okay."

"Alright, it's just..." he paused and sat up, leaning against his knees to face her. "You talk about Anna being determined, well, you seem really determined too. And I know you want to help her, but I just need to make sure you understand that we may never find her family. Her parents could be long dead by now."

Emily sighed. "I know." She took a deep breath. "I just really want to do my best for them," she concluded.

"You will," Morgan reached out and cupped her cheek in a gentle yet uncharacteristic manner. That level of closeness had never been common place between them before. A pat on the shoulder here and there, sure, but not anything that intimate. "I know you'll do everything within your power, because you have a big heart. And I don't think you know how to fail at anything." He dropped his hand and resumed the previous set of sit-ups.

Every time he came up, his face was so close to hers that Emily felt her stomach clench. Not in a bad way, but in a way that crossed the boundaries of friendship. And it seemed completely irrational to her. She had no reason to suddenly be feeling anything for Derek Morgan other than friendship. Over the years she'd been impressed by his knowledge of literature and charmed by the smile that he flashed all the ladies he crossed paths with. She was also immensely glad to know that he always had her back on the job. But he was a co-worker, and complicating that dynamic would be weird. Not to mention the fact that Derek Morgan wasn't the sort for a long-term relationship of any kind. She'd understood that from day one. The job kept him closed up, like it did so many of them. Like it did her.

Derek got to his feet a few minutes later. He reached a hand down to help her up. "Feel like a couple more laps?"

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "Slow ones," she amended.

"Sure," Morgan nodded his agreement as they set off again. They jogged two full laps in complete silence before he couldn't stand it any longer. "Emily, I..." his pace slowed to a stop and he moved off to the side of the trail, pulling her along with him. Other runners and walkers passed by as they stood there under a large maple tree whose leaves had already turned brilliant shades of red and gold.

"No more sit-ups," Emily groaned.

His head shook. "No. I just wanted to say that earlier, when I touched your cheek… that wasn't very professional of me. And I like to think that our friendship stems beyond profession, but I also know that can be hard to separate and I just don't want you to think I was being..."

"Unprofessional?" she guessed. He nodded and she couldn't help smile. "It's okay, Morgan. I know that you and I aren't... I mean we could never be..." Emily stopped, realizing she was rather flustered by his presence.

She closed her eyes for a moment and attempted to shake any unreasonable thoughts from her head. When she reopened her eyes Derek was standing directly in front of her, much closer than before. Emily could feel his warm breath against her cheek and it sent shivers through her body. There was no time for either of them to think before he lowered his head and captured her lips with his. His left hand gently caressed the soft hairs at the back of her neck as they deepened the union, mouths opening to the spark that they'd both been in denial about. A gentle breeze rustled the tree branches, causing a few golden leaves to spiral to the ground around them. Sunlight kissed their bodies with a touch of warmth as they finally broke apart.

Emily stood there silently for a moment, breathlessly staring at him. "Derek, what was that?"

"I don't know," he quickly replied.

She shook her head at him. "I beg to differ, because one second you're going on about being unprofessional and the next we're… that lip lock was a big something in my book," Emily let him know.

"It's just…" Derek knew he couldn't lie to her, so the truth came dripping out. "I was seeing this woman for a while, Tamara."

"Really?" Emily's tone was devoid of any emotion as she took a small step backwards.

He nodded. "We're not together any more, not since just before Los Angeles. But I really liked her. I even thought maybe she could be the one I'd..."

"Morgan," Emily cut him off. "I'm not sure I want to hear any more of this, because if you're about to tell me that kiss we just shared was some sort of rebound thing, I might have to hurt you," she warned.

Derek knew that a lot of people were put off by her blunt nature and reliance on things like sarcasm to get her through the day, but he'd grown used to it. He even found it endearing; uniquely Prentiss. Morgan understood her fear as he bravely relayed the next words. "Tamara knew I cared about her, but she also sensed that I was holding back. She asked me if there was someone else in my life."

Emily arched her brows. "But there wasn't anyone else, right? You'd never do that to a woman," she spoke with certainty. Emily knew his history of being a hopeless flirt and even a bit of a player, but as she'd gotten to know him better she also understood that loyalty was something of high priority to him.

"It wasn't like that, I never cheated on her," he explained. "But, in a way, she was right. There's someone I've been thinking about for a long time now, but I know it would never work because she's not the kind of woman who'd ever end up with a guy like me. And besides, we work together and it would be all kinds of awkward."

"Wow, Derek," Emily was even more surprised by his latest words. "If you really care about Penelope that much you should just tell her."

Morgan stared at her for a long, silent moment before he started to chuckle softly. He could see how she might have jumped to that conclusion by what he'd said. "I do really care about Garcia, I even love her, but..." he looked Emily in the eye. "Who was I kissing in this park just a few minutes ago?"

"Me," Emily replied, as if that were obvious. Her stomach leapt into her throat a second later as the puzzle pieces finally started to fit together. "Crap, Morgan. Are you trying to tell me that you ruined a possible long-term relationship with a woman you really liked because of me?"

All he could do was nod, even though he hated that she made herself sound unworthy of such an act. "You are one of the smartest women I've ever known, Emily Prentiss, but you definitely have a naive side," he teased, hoping to ease the tension he felt seeping into their conversation. Derek stood there for a long time, watching her and waiting for some kind of reaction.

"Can we run some more laps," Emily's words were more a statement than a question, and she took off before he could respond.

Derek instantly followed. "Hey, Emily..." he tried to slow her down, but she seemed in the mood to run a marathon all of a sudden. Morgan easily managed to keep up with her, but he was worried. "Shouldn't we talk about this some more?"

"No, I'd rather keep running right now," she replied.

"Right," he swallowed hard. It wasn't too difficult to catch the double meaning of her words. "I just don't want this to make things awkward between us."

She sighed. "It's a little too late for that."

xxx

Emily was curled up on her sofa, fleece throw across her legs and a book lying open atop her lap. The living room was softly illuminated by two lamps, which were situated on end tables that flanked either side of the sofa. Michelle had been sent to bed nearly an hour ago, after which she and Anna had cleaned up the mess from their evening meal. Anna had insisted on making the dinner; a simple chicken and rice casserole, which Emily had barely touched. It was just another thing to add to her guilt list, alongside her regret from having clamed up on Derek after their impromptu kiss.

"Would you like some peppermint tea?" Anna offered, appearing beside the sofa. "The water is still hot. I could make you a cup."

"No, thanks," Emily responded, looking up from her book. She'd been staring down at the same page for several minutes, unable to concentrate as thoughts of her and Derek's earlier encounter plagued her mind. After he'd dropped her off, Emily had taken a quick shower and then gone shopping with Anna and Michelle. They'd spent a goodly part of the rest of the day buying clothes and groceries. It had done well to take her mind off Derek, but not completely.

Anna settled down on the overstuffed chair across from Emily. "Is everything all right?" she asked. "You have been rather quiet since your time with Agent Morgan. I know I am not the one who studies human behavior, but it's not hard to see that something is bothering you. And it's probably not my place to say anything, but if you want to talk I hear that sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger about things."

Emily looked to the woman and a small smile emerged. "I don't consider you a stranger, Anna,"

The older woman smiled warmly, but she could tell that was about all Emily planned to say. "Well, if you don't want to talk, perhaps you would be willing to listen? I had a dream last night, well, early this morning right before I woke up. And you said that every little detail might help me discover things about my past."

"Yes," Emily sat up a little straighter and closed the book. She faced Anna with keen interest. "But a dream might not be anything concrete to go on."

Anna nodded her understanding. "But it _could_ mean something?"

"Why don't you tell me what you remember from the dream," Emily encouraged, thankful to turn the conversation away from herself.

"They came for me," Anna started. "The people who kidnapped me… Eli and Maggie Wallace," she finally called them by name.

"You were in the car that you remember from before?" Emily tried to clarify. "You were leaving the house?"

"Not at first. I was in the house this time," Anna replied. Her eyes clouded over, almost like she was reliving the dream again. "I was inside a bedroom that was painted yellow, and there was a white wood bed and white dresser. It felt like more than just a dream, though. It felt like I was there. Like I'd been there before," she looked directed at Emily. "I am sure it was my room in my real parent's house," Anna declared with utmost certainty.

"Okay," Emily wasn't about to dispute the fact. She really just wanted Anna to continue while the memories were still mostly fresh in her mind. "What else do you remember? Were there any distinct smells or sounds?"

Anna nodded. "I could heard someone crying,"

"Was it someone in the room with you?" Emily asked. "Was it your mother?"

"They were not in the room. I never saw who it was. The sound was distant, down the hall maybe," Anna shrugged

Emily pressed on. "What else did you hear or see?"

Anna's eyes closed as she got lost further in the memory-dream. "There was a voice nearby, really close to my ear," her tone was somewhat fearful as she spoke. "And there was a hand over my mouth. The voice told me to be very quiet or it would…" she shook her head and grimaced.

"What did they say, Anna?" Emily had heard the woman's voice change from confident to childlike in an instant. She reached out and took one of Anna's hands in hers, hoping to lend some comfort. "Did they threaten you?"

"Yes," Anna replied, her tone was softer yet still frightened. "It was the man's voice, Eli. He said he would hurt my family if I tried to scream or run. I could not have run away anyhow, he was too strong. One hand was clamped over my mouth and his other arm was very tight around my waist. We went through a window, down a ladder, and then we were in the car," she paused, looking to Emily again. "No… there was something else. Before we left there was something in the room I wanted."

"What?" Emily prodded.

"I tried to reach for it, but he wouldn't let me take it. He pulled me away." Anna's breathing calmed a little as she began to describe the object she'd been reaching for. "It was a doll, an orange cat that was knitted and stuffed. She was dressed as a ballerina with a pink leotard that had blue dots and white lace. And she wore pink toe shoes with blue ribbons tied around her legs," Anna sighed in frustration. "Why can I remember those details so clearly, but nothing of real consequence?"

Emily shook her head as she tried to digest all the information Anna had relayed. "I don't know," her words were barely a whisper as she let go of Anna's hand.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked, noticing that the younger woman looked a little flustered as well.

"I'm fine," Emily tried to smile, but the gesture fell short of any real emotion. She felt guilty once again for the way Anna kept worrying about her when it should have been the other way around. "I'm just really tired after the run this morning and our shopping." She looked Anna in the eye. "I don't know if the dream actually means anything, but I think you should write it all down and I'll talk to the team about it on Monday," she suggested.

"Alright," Anna agreed. "You should get some rest."

Emily wholeheartedly welcomed the idea of sleep. Even a few undisturbed hours would be nice, but as she got to her feet and walked upstairs to her bedroom, those momentary happy thoughts of sleep drifted further and further away. Anna's dream kept gnawing at her as she stepped into her room and locked the door. Emily remembered every word Anna had used to describe the stuffed cat. It sent disturbing shivers down her spine.

She went to her closet and pulled a medium sized cardboard box off a top shelf. Emily walked the box to her bed, sat it down and slowly removed the cover. Inside lay the remains of her childhood, the few scattered items that she'd managed to drag from country to country with her. Emily removed some drawings, a few report cards and even her christening gown. Then she spotted it lying in the bottom of the box, forgotten for so many years. She pulled it out and fingered the lacey tutu.

The stuffed orange cat was fully dressed in ballerina garb; pink and blue, exactly like the one Anna had described in her dream.

* * *

**To Be Continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 3

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Emily knocked and waited, but there was no answer. She opened the door and took a tentative step inside the room. Garcia's office was a contradiction of styles, one half new-age technology, most of which Emily didn't even understand, and one half cutesy curios of every shape, size and color. The technical analyst's sacred space was both futuristic and cozy; very much a reflection of its eclectic occupant. "You got a minute, PG?" she finally called out, announcing her presence.

The redhead spun her chair around and beamed at her friend. "For one of my top ten favorite people, I have at least two minutes," Penelope cheerily responded.

With a grateful smile, Emily fully entered the room and let the door close behind her. She stood there for a moment feeling a bit out of place. Emily knew she was more than welcome in Garcia's work space, but it was her life that felt rather out of sorts at the moment. Everything seemed to be tilting slightly on its axis, leaving Emily with the sense that she was standing on the sidelines watching. After listening to Anna's recollection of her dream and finding the very similar doll in her closet, Emily's thoughts had spent most of Sunday flying off in all sorts of different directions. Now she felt the need to put some facts to her wandering thoughts.

"I could use your help on figuring something out," Emily pulled the stuffed animal from behind her back and held it up to show her co-worker.

"It's a cat in a tutu," Garcia grinned.

The profiler rolled her eyes, knowing it was the sort of smart-assed answer she would have given. "It's a doll I've had since I was very little," she explained.

Penelope's eyes danced with mirth. "Emily Prentiss once had a doll?" she was somewhat surprised by the revelation. "You've always seemed more the type to cuddle up with books at night."

A wan smile perched on Emily's face. "You know me too well," she agreed. "Actually, I've never been particularly fond of this doll, but it was one of the few things my mother insisted I drag around with me from country to country. Even when I would have liked to trash it on more than one occasion."

"Interesting story," Garcia looked intrigued. "Curious, though, why you've come to me to rehash this bit of your childhood?"

Emily fingered the white-cloth tag that was sewn into the seam connecting the cat's tail to its backside. "I was wondering if you could do a trace on this, see if there's any information about the manufacturing company? It claims to be handcrafted, so maybe there's an actual artist?" Emily held the item out to her friend.

Garcia took the cat and read the tag. "Les Petits Jouets," she noted. "The small… toys?"

"Yes," Emily confirmed. "I don't know if you'll find anything from back in the dark ages when I was a kid, but it's kind of important," she let her friend know.

"Hmm…" Penelope mused as she began to type in the search. "Me thinks someone is feeling a little perturbed about her recent birthday, which starred the numbers four and zero… in that order," the woman noted.

A frown drew Emily's bottom lip downward and a sigh escaped. "A lot of people lately seem intent on reminding me how long ago forty years was."

"Well, I hear that forty is the new thirty," Garcia chirped.

"Thanks for that," Emily was touched by the thought behind Penelope's words.

The tech scanned her search results, noticing there were quite a few more than she'd been expecting. "So, how was your weekend?" Garcia maintained a conversation, multitasking as her fingers proceeded computer information and her brain processed the fact that her friend still seemed out of sorts.

"What do you know?" Emily was instantly suspicious, knowing that Garcia and Morgan had been friends longer than she'd known either one of them.

Penelope shrugged. "What do you think I know?"

Emily had entered the BAU with a lot less training than the others on the team where behavioral analysis was concerned, but she'd gotten very good at reading people over the years. "You don't know anything, do you?"

Another half shrug raised the tech's shoulders. "I don't know, maybe," she maintained an air of curiosity with a touch of aloofness.

"Garcia," Emily's drawn-out tone let her friend know that she wanted to end their dance of words.

"Okay, I know nothing," the redhead finally gave in, glancing over her shoulder for a moment. "It's just that you seem a little different this morning, kind of glowy, but perplexed," she eyed her friend before returning her gaze to the computer screen in front of her. "Is it about Derek?"

That name caused Emily's cheeks to flush, despite her best efforts. "Penelope Garcia, tell me what you know," she demanded.

"All I can tell you is what I see," the younger woman replied.

A slight pounding behind her eyeballs made Emily grimace. "Why do I feel like I've been sucked into some Abbot and Costello routine?"

Penelope wasn't ruffled by her friend's comment. "I see two people who have become very good friends, and who would very likely be dating by now if not for their stubborn heads. Because, you see, the biggest problem with the two of you is that you think too much. And, honestly, love isn't about thinking. In fact, people who fall in love are really rather stupid, they just let themselves go and put it all on the line. But you two, you don't know how to let go and be stupid."

"This is your advice… to be stupid?" Emily scoffed.

"I'm being serious here," Garcia insisted. "Love is about risk. You risk your lives every day for other people's safety and happiness. So, why can't you risk a little for your selves, for your own happiness? If you never go for it you'll never know what you could be missing."

"He certainly went for it with that kiss, but I wasn't…" Emily stopped short, realizing her mistake only too late. "I didn't just say that. You didn't hear…"

But it was too late, because Garcia's eyes had nearly popped out of her head. "I heard you say kiss. What kiss? When?"

"Penelope," Emily sighed, shaking her head as she pulled back into her shell. "I really don't have time to re-live high school right now. I need to find something about this stupid cat. So, can we just focus on that?"

Garcia knew well enough to leave it alone, at least for the time being. She easily slid back into sleuth mode. "The best result I've got is a toy boutique in the French town of Grenoble. They've prided themselves on having handmade crafts and toys for more than half a century now. Local artisans make the dolls and they even have an online archive that lists all current and former artists."

"Is the ballerina cat pattern one of a kind?" Emily asked the most pertinent question on her mind.

"From what I can tell, there've been a few artists who crochet that particular design. Apparently you can look them up by the initials on the tags," Garcia explained, turning her attention back to the stuffed animal in her lap. "This one has a C.B. on it, so let's take a look at the list…" Penelope trailed off a moment as she scrolled through the artist list. "There are three C.B. listings: Celine Barrineau, Charlotte Benoit, and Celeste Boyet."

Emily felt queasy. "Charlotte Benoit was my maternal grandmother's name," she said as her head began to swim again. "She grew up in Grenoble and immigrated to the US as a teenager. My grandfather also immigrated, they met in Boston where they married and lived until nana died when I was seven years old. Papa stayed a few years longer until he retired to France," she was mostly thinking out loud, trying to create a timeline for the toy's creation, but things weren't aligning very well for her. "Is there any way to find out how many of each design were made, or in what years?"

"Well," Garcia began. "Handmade usually indicates one of a kind. However, as I cruise the site pictures, it looks like there's some repetition of patterns. Take a look at this one from a current artist," Penelope showed her friend the screen, which revealed a picture of a stuffed ballerina cat that bore a striking resemblance to Emily's.

"Are they sold or advertised anywhere in the US?" Emily pressed the matter.

"No, but they ship to the US. And anyone could find them on the web like I just did," Garcia relayed. "Is this about a case?" she finally asked.

"I'm not sure what it's about," Emily replied as she retrieved the cat and exited Penelope's lair without another word.

xxx

The team was gathered when she entered the conference room, everyone aside from Garcia who she'd just left, and Hotch who was at a budget meeting. Emily was thankful of her boss's absence. He'd stated his feelings on the matter of helping Anna Wallace, which was that they could do it on their own time. Since it was 8am on a Monday morning, it was technically work time. Their schedule lacked anything pressing, but that didn't mean Hotch would be pleased by the gathering. So, she sat down at the round table, placed the stuffed cat in front of her and didn't bother building to a climax in her story. She simply spit out the words that had been plaguing her since Saturday night, and hoped for a speedy discussion. Emily figured they'd either support her, or think she was completely crazy.

"I think Anna might be my sister," she stated.

"Your what?" JJ asked.

Reid could only sum up his shock in the simple syllable of, "Huh?"

"I wasn't even aware that you had a sister," Rossi used a few less-obvious words of surprise.

Emily digested their comments, but she couldn't help notice that Derek was starring at her without saying a single word. "I don't," she turned to Rossi as she spoke.

Dave slumped back in his chair a little, left hand rubbing his chin. "Well, that certainly cleared things up," he kept his eyes aimed at her. Just because he was a bit confused by her statement didn't mean he wasn't also very curious.

She noticed Derek's gaze was still locked on to her. He looked like he wanted to push her away and pull her close all at once. Emily faced Rossi again. "I grew up an only child. As far as I know I don't have any siblings, but there's something about Anna that makes me think she's my sister; a gut feeling."

"I suppose it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility," Reid spoke up, springing back into his usual clinical and wordy self. "I read about a study once in which a group of grown men, who hadn't grown up with their biological mothers, were placed in a room with twenty different women their mother's age. Nine out of ten of them correctly identified their mothers, instinctively drawn to them even though they'd never met before," he explained.

An appreciative smile cracked Emily's veneer. "Thank you."

Reid nodded, glad to have given her some credibility. But he also couldn't help himself from continuing his train of thought. "However," he held one hand out, fingers slightly crooked. Some days the others weren't sure if he knew how to talk without the use of his hands. "That study was performed with willing participants," he explained. "As well as birth mothers who had stipulated a desire to meet their child someday… whereas, you really have nothing to base your feelings on."

JJ saw the disappointed look on Emily's face after Reid had lifted her spirits and simultaneously crushed them again. "What exactly is pushing you toward this feeling of Anna being your sister?" she asked. "Granted, there is some slight physical similarity, but other than that…" JJ left the question open-ended; realizing nothing solid had been presented to support the idea.

Emily reached for the cat, feeling for the first time that a stuffed animal was hardly real evidence. She stubbornly maintained her position, though. "I've had this toy for as long as I can remember, and it was very likely hand crocheted by my grandmother. I also remember my mother often told me that it had once belonged to another little girl," Emily informed them before she recounted Anna's dream.

"Anna showing up out of the blue was rather unusual," Rossi spoke up again. "But this dream/doll connection is kind of spooky," he had to admit. "Honestly, I think your only option, if you're really adamant about pursuing this, is to talk to your parents."

"I know," Emily agreed.

There was really nothing left to be said after that and they all departed the meeting with mixed emotions. The only person who'd remain completely silent throughout the short gathering trailed after Emily as she grabbed her things and made her way to the elevator. "Hey," Derek finally spoke as they waited for the doors to open.

"You think I've lost my mind, don't you?" Emily asked as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. She stepped inside and hit the parking garage button.

Morgan was torn for a second, but jumped in just as the doors were rolling shut. They dropped two floors before he finally found his voice again. "I didn't say that, Emily," he replied to her earlier comment.

"You didn't have to," she responded, aiming her gaze in his direction. "I know that look on your face, Morgan. It's the same one you were wearing when I suggested that my friend Matthew might have been killed during an exorcism. You didn't want any part of that theory," she concluded.

He nodded. "You're right, but I stood by you."

Emily felt the tight hold she was keeping on her emotions slip a little bit. "Yeah, you did," she acknowledged.

"Friends don't always agree on everything, and that's okay," Derek stated his belief. "But the good ones stick around, no matter what," he added, his hand reaching up to her shoulder where it gave a soft squeeze and rested for a moment. "So, could you use a friend on this?" Morgan asked as the doors opened to the basement parking level. "Because I could tag along if you'd like," he offered.

They stepped off the elevator into the cool, dimly lit garage. His hand remained at her shoulder, causing Emily to feel extremely unworthy of his friendship after the way she'd retreated from him on Saturday morning. But he was still there beside her, not backing down, which gave her a small hope that she hadn't completely ruined everything. "I would like that," she agreed.

Derek guided her to his vehicle, insisting on driving. Neither one of them spoke much more than was necessary during the course of their trip, Emily to give directions to her mother's place, and he to acknowledge. They easily avoided the topic of their Saturday morning encounter, each knowing it was causing a rift between them that had never been there before. As much as Emily wanted to keep running away from the matter, it was something she knew they needed to discuss eventually. At the moment, though, they proceeded with their mission as professionals.

Her mother's building was historic, with lots of exterior brick and dark wood interiors. The ambassador's assistant showed them in to the main office. Emily had visited her mother there before and seen the small personal touches, photographs and books neatly arranged on shelves. It was very similar to so many places she and her parents had lived around the world; large house with embassy offices on the ground floor and living areas nestled on the upper stories. She remembered trying to sneak into her mother's various offices as a curious child, and often trying to edge her way out of them as an annoyed teenager.

Elizabeth Prentiss finished signing some papers before she stood and acknowledged her guests. "Agent Morgan, isn't it?" she stepped around her desk and reached out to shake his hand.

Derek nodded with a friendly smile, even though he was a bit put off by the way she'd side-stepped her own daughter to greet him. "Yes, ma'am. It's nice to see you again," he took her hand and shook.

"I'd be inclined to return the sentiment, agent Morgan, if it weren't for the dismal looks on your faces," Elizabeth took a step to her right and kissed Emily chastely on the cheek. "Is this visit about a case you're working on?"

Emily wrung her hands, still feeling like she was twelve years old in her mother's presence. A few years ago they'd been on a path to understanding one another a little better, but as her mother continued to go without a proper assignment she'd slowly closed herself up again. "Is daddy around?" Emily asked, seeking out the man who'd always been the closer of her two parents, although that wasn't saying much.

The older woman's head of dark hair shook in reply. "He's in Denver on business and won't be back till tomorrow morning," Elizabeth explained, scrutinizing her daughter's presence. "Why are you stalling? Is there something wrong I should know about? Because if there's not, I actually do have some work to get to."

"Do I have a sister you never told me about?" Emily blurted out.

Even though Morgan typically found Emily's candidness endearing, it was sometimes grossly out of place. Her earlier outburst to the team, and now with her mother, had him more than a little worried about her state of mind. Although, what little he knew about her mother lead him to believe that candor was a trait Emily had come by honestly. He imagined getting straight to the point was a useful tool when dealing with foreign dignitaries, as it was with an UnSub. However, Derek felt the current, delicate, matter called for a little more finesse. "Why don't we all have a seat so we can discuss this," he motioned toward a leather sofa across the room.

"I don't want to sit," the ambassador replied, barely paying attention to Derek as she stared at her daughter with a perplexed and slightly worried look. "What is this about a sister?" she asked. "You know you're an only child, Emily. You're the only child I have."

"Did daddy ever have an affair?" Emily didn't bat an eye as she asked the question, knowing her parent's marriage had its ups and downs.

"Emily," Derek was the one to admonish her, feeling like a referee.

"Maybe he had another child before me, and the doll was hers," she didn't let up.

"No," Elizabeth's word was firm, confident. "What has gotten into you?" she asked her daughter. "You know your father and I married very young; straight out of high school. We both attended college before we even thought about having a family and then you came along very shortly after graduation."

Emily finally took a moment to breath, realizing she'd been holding her breath for a while. When the air left her chest she felt somewhat deflated, but she still had one ace in the hole. She pulled the stuffed cat out of her bag and showed it to her mother. Then she launched into a condensed version of Anna's arrival and the doll's connection. "You always told me the doll used to belong to another little girl, and I'm fairly certain nana Benoit made it."

"Yes, she did," her mother confirmed, reaching out to stroke the cat's soft orange yarn-fur. "She made it for me when I was little," Elizabeth revealed. "I'm the girl I told you about, Emily," she further explained. "I don't think I've seen this in years. You used to be inseparable from this thing when you were four years old."

None of her mother's explanation was what Emily had expected, but it made perfect sense. "I'm sorry I wasted your time, mother." She glanced over at Derek and made it clear to him she was ready to go.

Derek was once more concerned about Emily's fluctuating mood, accusing one second and complacent the next. But he followed her lead toward the exit. They were nearly out the door when the ambassador called after her daughter. "Emily."

She turned at the sound of her name. "Yes?"

"Maybe when your father returns from Denver the three of us could have dinner," Elizabeth suggested. "We did miss out on celebrating your birthday last week."

No emotion, happy or sad, graced Emily's features as she nodded. "That would be nice." With that, she and Derek exited the room and weaved through the ornate entry hall which spilled outside into the parking area. They climbed into Derek's SUV, but he didn't start it up right away.

He regarded the woman beside him for a moment. It had been hard to read her in the context of her mother's presence. In just that short amount of interaction he'd seen the ambassador go from somewhat ignoring her child to an offer of dinner for her birthday. Of course, the whole team had been there to share a meal with Emily on the actual day of her birthday while her parents had been up in Boston. Now, as he sat beside Emily, worried about her state of mind, he thought she looked very much like a little girl. Lost and confused. "Do you think she was lying?" he finally asked.

Emily shrugged. "I have no reason to," she replied. "In fact, my mother has always been brutally honest with me in everything from my choice of boyfriends to my career path and sometimes even the clothes I wanted to wear, although the clothing issue was mostly isolated to my rebellious teen years."

Derek thought the part about having brutally honest parents had also contributed to her personality trait of being honest to a fault. "If your mother is telling the truth, where do Anna's dream and her knowledge of the cat fit in?"

She heard the question he was posing, but she also heard accusation in his tone. "What are you trying to say, Morgan?"

"Was the cat stored somewhere at your place?" he asked.

"Yes. In a box in my walk-in closet."

"Was the box locked? Was the closet or the door to your room locked?"

"No, none of them were," Emily replied, still not following his line of thinking.

Morgan took a deep breath. "So, Anna had time alone in your place while we were at the park on Saturday. She could have easily found the item and seen a perfect opportunity to make up a story you might believe," Derek finally laid it all out for her. "Anna waited until that night to tell you about her dream. _After_ she'd had time to find the cat," he concluded.

Emily felt sick to her stomach as his words began to make sense, but she still wasn't convinced. "To what end, though?" she asked.

"You said you thought she seemed determined about more than just finding her family. Think about it, Emily. She has no money… no place to live and no job…"

"And that automatically means she's trying to extort money from me by pretending to be my sister or something?" Emily grew even more disturbed by his scenario, yet she was letting some of it start to sink into the rational side of her brain.

He nodded morosely. "It's a type of identity theft. She sucks you in, becomes your friend and then tries to take over your life."

Her head rested against the back of the seat as a puff of breath slid out from deep within her belly. "God, this is all so…" Emily wasn't sure what to say, but she still didn't feel right about any of it. "That's not the feeling I get from Anna at all, but…" she sighed again, unable to wrap her mind around that sort of deception.

Derek wanted to comfort her, to tell her his theory was probably a bunch of garbage, but he wasn't yet convinced one way or the other. And he couldn't lie to her about how he felt. Thankfully, the ringing of his cell phone provided a distraction. "Morgan," he answered. Derek nodded along to what the woman at the other end was saying. "Yeah, JJ, we'll be right there," he ended the call and looked to Emily. "Another girl in Nell Campbell's kindergarten class is missing. Amy Ralls didn't show up for school this morning. Local police have called us in and Hotch wants to leave in an hour. Is your go bag at work?"

"Yes," Emily replied. "But what do I do about Anna and Michelle while we're gone?"

xxx

The eastern Washington scenery was green, gold and brown. A few houses dotted the horizon, but mostly there were vast acres of rolling farmland spread out like a patchwork quilt. They turned onto a road that sent them downhill for several miles, snaking into a canyon. "You told her where you had some cash hidden?" Derek asked his passenger. Morgan was puzzled by her revelation, even as he tried to concentrate on navigating the steep and unfamiliar road.

He and Emily were in another SUV, though this time several thousand miles across the country and heading down to a crime scene along the Snake River. It was the same thing they did so often, pairing up to track an UnSub. Neither one of them was quite sure how it had first happened that they were partnered up in the field, but in the ensuing years it had almost become a given that they'd be assigned to clear a building, tag-team a suspect for questioning or have each other's backs when facing off with a killer. It was, in part, that symbiotic relationship which had caused them to become closer than most co-workers. There was something about putting your life on the line for someone else that quickly bonded you for good. However, it didn't stop them from disagreeing on matters.

"I withdrew the money on Saturday, thinking there'd be the possibility of them needing cash if I went out of town on a case," Emily explained. "It just so happens that this case provided the perfect opportunity to test your theory about Anna," she concluded.

"Wait a minute, _my_ theory?" Derek didn't care for the allegation in her words. "I thought you were with me on this?"

"No. I may not think she's my sister any more, but I'm certainly not as quick as you were to jump on the gold digging band wagon," Emily clarified. "I just can't believe that she would be that sinister."

"Can't believe? Or won't?" he challenged.

Emily knew he was right, and she hated when he was right. She continually battled her love/hate relationship with the fact that he knew her so well. It seemed best to keep her mouth shut as the road leveled out and curved to the left. The river was wide and the canyon deep, a decent reflection of her emotions at the moment. Every time Derek brushed close to the surface of her feelings, she dove a little deeper into her personal canyon. Therefore, work seemed the safest thing to focus on.

They'd landed at noon local time, and by four o'clock they already had a pretty good idea who their UnSub was. His name had turned up on the class rosters of the three college professors whose children had been taken; two murdered, one still missing. Peter Grayson was a 4.0 student who'd recently lost his mother to breast cancer. His first assignment below the 'A' mark had been followed closely by the first girl's death. Peter had taken Tara's life in exchange for the grade her father had given him.

Derek negotiated the two-lane highway where they caught glimpses of the river against a setting sun. Ten minutes down the road they came to the site where five-year-old Tara Jennings had been dumped. The area was a large rocky hill dubbed: Granite Point. It was a famous local hangout where students climbed, partied and jumped into the river on hot summer days. Morgan pulled their dark SUV alongside a silver Chevy S-10. "That's Grayson's truck," he noted.

She nodded and was about to dial Hotch when she spotted a figure above them. The steel of their UnSub's weapon reflected sunlight, giving him away. "Morgan!"

"I see him!" Derek jumped out of the vehicle and set off after the man.

Emily punched in the speed dial number on her phone as she drew her gun and followed after Morgan. They climbed the rocky slope and Emily paused half way up to relay their situation to Hotch. She then pocketed her phone and placed both hands back on her weapon as she crested the ridge. "Morgan?" she called out.

"Stay back or I swear I'll drop her!" Grayson's frantic voice relayed.

It didn't take Emily long to assess the situation. Peter Grayson was standing on the cliff edge with a blonde-headed Amy Ralls in his arms. He was dangling her precariously above the river, which was a good thirty feet below them. Derek was right in front of Grayson, legs spread shoulder width apart and gun aimed. "You have nowhere to go, man," Morgan spoke, gently trying to defuse the situation. "Don't do this because of some grade. We all slip up now and then."

"Help me, please," Amy's frightened voice pleaded.

Emily smiled for the girl's benefit. "You're going to be okay, sweetheart," she told the child. "Just hang on."

"No, she has to die so her father will understand," Grayson shook his head, glancing over at the girl in his arms. "I have to make my mother proud. She was supposed to watch me graduate this spring, but now she won't be there. I have to try even harder to make her proud. My grades need to be perfect."

Morgan groaned. "I'm sure she was plenty proud of you, Peter, despite the grades you made," he tried to reassure the young man. "But hurting this girl isn't going to make your mother proud at all."

"She'll be proud of me," Peter mumbled as he loosened his hold on the girl. "She will," he insisted before letting go of Amy.

"No!" Emily shouted as she helplessly watched the child go over the side, screaming on the way down. There was a loud splash below and her heart seized. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Morgan chasing after Grayson, but she left her partner's side to peer over the cliff. Emily saw Amy floundering in the water below and barely gave her actions a single thought. She carefully placed her gun on the ground and then jumped in after the girl.

The cold water was a shock, but Emily recovered quickly and spotted Amy struggling to keep her head above the surface. Emily's left arm went around the child and she was thankful for all those summers at their beach house in Maine where she'd learned to become a strong swimmer in the frigid Atlantic. She held fast to the child, whispering soft assurances to the girl as she swam them toward the shore.

Derek was there to help them up. "Where's Grayson?" Emily asked.

"Restrained in the back of the SUV. He tried to take off, so I had to cuff one wrist to the opposite ankle so he couldn't run." Derek carried a crying Amy as they climbed up the bank and onto the road. "Jumping off that cliff was really stupid, Prentiss. You could have gotten yourself killed."

"You would have done the same thing," she replied, standing there dripping and shivering.

He nodded. "Exactly, because I do stupid things like that," Morgan acknowledged. "But you don't, Emily. I'm worried about you. I know that dream you keep having is compelling you to help everyone you can, which is why you were looking for a quick fix with Anna. Making her your sister would have given her an instant family, but you can't help everyone that easily. And needlessly risking your life as a way to compensate isn't healthy behavior."

Emily tenderly caressed the child's wet cheek as Derek sat her on a rock to check for injuries. "Amy is alive. I'm alive," she pointed out to him, her eyes clouding over with a dangerous haze. "I did my job out there, and I can help whoever I please. So, I sincerely suggest you stop profiling me," Emily snapped.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 4

By N. J. Borba

* * *

The BAU jet left eastern Washington in complete darkness, but rendezvoused with the sun half-way over Montana, which was currently causing streaks of golden light to permeate the cabin. Derek sat in the back of the plane, headphones on and wide awake as the others did their best to catch a bit more sleep. He closed his eyes for a moment, hoping the sunlight could ease his mind a little. Derek couldn't help worrying that he'd really messed things up with Emily. She hadn't said a word to him since her outburst at the river. Hotch had sent her to the hospital with Amy Ralls to get checked out while the rest of the team had stayed to wrap up all of the loose ends. And she'd been asleep at the hotel by the time he'd gone to talk to her, which had caused him to endure a night of fitful sleep.

Even through his eyelids, Derek knew that someone had stepped into the path of his sunlight. He opened his eyes and looked up to see Emily standing beside him in the aisle. The headphones were immediately shed, falling to his lap. "Can I sit?" she asked.

Leary of saying anything to spook her, he simply nodded a reply. She settled down into the seat opposite him and turned her head toward the sunshine. Derek watched her lips slowly curl into a soft smile. It warmed his heart a great deal. Seeing her look more content than she had in weeks set his mind at ease a little and helped him find a few words. "I owe you an apology," he started.

Her eyes slid his way. "I was about to say the same thing," Emily finally replied. "I mean, that I owe _you_ an apology."

"No, you don't," he shook his head. "You were right last night," Derek glanced around the jet for a moment, hoping their conversation didn't carry too much. "I'm sorry if you felt like I was profiling you. That honestly wasn't my intention, but I guess it came out that way." He took a quick breath before proceeding. "I do understand that this job makes us want to be miracle workers, to save everyone. I did the same thing not too long ago."

"Morgan, you really don't have to explain," Emily stopped him. "I know you meant well, and I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

Derek took a deep breath, not wanting her to make it easy for him. "When my dad died I was too young to do anything about it," he bravely forged ahead, feeling compelled to explain himself despite her insistence to the contrary. "But I could do something to help Ellie after her dad was killed. The overwhelming desire to help her and keep my promise to Spicer was what sent me into that house after Flynn. But I crossed a line that night, because I allowed myself to get too caught up in it," he confessed. "I've been trying to bounce back from that ever since, and I've only been successful in large part because of you; your patience and even just your presence. I realize now I haven't been very patient with you; pushing you like I did last night. But if you'll give me another chance I'd like to return the favor."

"You don't need another chance," she promptly assured him. "The way I see it, you're still on the clock. And friends don't always agree, right? Seems to me someone told me that recently," Emily flashed a grateful smile his way. "You were completely honest with me, Morgan, and I value that more than you could possibly know. It was just hard to hear the truth," she admitted.

He relaxed a little more with that air cleared, but Derek knew the hardest part of their conversation was yet to come. It needed to finally be addressed, though. "About that other thing we keep avoiding…" he began. Without using too many words that the others might misconstrue, Morgan tried to bow out gracefully. "We can forget about it if that's what you'd like, because if it means losing you as my friend then it wasn't worth it."

Emily's reaction to his words was two-fold. She didn't want to forget the kiss, because she wasn't sorry it had happened. But it was also a matter of bad timing, because she felt there was only so much she could give of herself at the moment. She didn't think she had enough to give him, and she knew it wouldn't be fair to string him along. "I don't have any plans on ditching this friendship," she finally expressed. "But for right now, I think that's all it can be."

His head bobbed. "If that's the way you want it," he agreed, holding on tightly to the words: _right now_.

"So…" Emily breathed out, testing the waters of their new situation. "I talked to Anna this morning before we left for the airport. I told her I was going to be back in town later today," she relayed.

His brows arched. "Then she's still at your place?"

"Yep," she replied with mixed emotion. "Apparently a thousand dollars in cash wasn't enough for her to pull up stakes?" Emily shrugged. She took a calming breath and looked him in the eye. "Can I run a few things by you?"

"Go for it," Morgan insisted.

"The search Garcia did on the doll revealed that my grandmother was making items for a company that is barely fifty years old. Meaning, my mother would have been twelve at the earliest time my grandmother could have made a doll with the Petits Jouets tag," she established. "Well… I wasn't exactly a typical twelve-year-old. I pretty much had my nose stuck in a book from the age of seven. I don't know if twelve year old girls still play with dolls, or even want them?"

Derek chuckled. "In case it's not obvious I've never been a twelve year old girl, so I doubt I can shed much light on that for you."

She grinned. "I was thinking more along the lines of you having sisters."

"Ah," Morgan nodded. "Well, when Sarah was twelve I was nine and my father had just died. Sarah sort of took on my mother's roll in the family, cooking and cleaning after school because mama had to go back to work," he explained. "And when Desi was twelve I was fifteen. At that time in my life I ate and breathed football. I wasn't exactly paying much attention to what she played with."

Emily changed gears. "Okay, how about this. I have no recollection of ever being overly attached to that doll the way my mother seems to think I was at age four."

"Do you remember a lot from when you were four years old?" he countered.

"I guess not. It's just… something still feels off about all of this," she sighed. "Do you trust my instincts?" Emily asked.

"Completely," he let her know.

She bit down softly on her lower lip. "Anna's story about being taken as a child, the things I read in Eric's journal, their upbringing, and her dream… it all still feels very sincere to me. So, I'm going to let Anna and Michelle stay for a while longer; give it some time to play out."

He swallowed. "I trust that you'll be cautious," Derek looked to her for reassurance and she nodded. "For the record, I have been wrong about hunches before and I really hope I'm way off base this time," he let her know. "But don't be surprised if I show up at your door every morning to make sure you're still alive." Derek was only half joking about the last part, but accompanied his words with a grin to help ease her mind.

Emily grinned too. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

xxx

The bullpen was noisy and bustling, typical of most weekday afternoons. Emily sat at her desk pouring over the details of the Grayson case as she wrote up her report for Hotch. She occasionally looked up from her task, usually just in time to see Reid quickly overt his gaze from aiming her direction. The third or fourth time it happened she made a soft tisking sound and shook her head. "Best keep your eyes on your own paper, Dr. Reid, or Hotch might have to dock you twenty points for cheating. Although, I think he gave us different essay questions, because my recollection of events yesterday is probably very different than yours," she pointed out.

Spencer gave up on his covert operation, which was not his expertise. "You seem to be in better spirits," he observed.

Emily shrugged. "I got five whole hours of sleep last night," she replied. "Plus nearly an hour on the flight back."

He smiled. "I thought I heard someone snoring on the jet."

A throaty chuckle escaped her lips. "That was very witty of you, Reid. You might just earn that real-boy degree after all," she teased.

Reid took her ribbing as a further sign of her better mood. "Didn't Hotch tell you to go home?" he asked.

"He did," she replied. "But I wanted to get this report finished first."

The young man nodded and turned his attention back to the report he was working on. He knew Emily hated to be treated with kid gloves. She was usually the one looking out for him and the others on the team like a big sister, but he couldn't help worrying. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes," she insisted. "I'm fine, just a little sore," Emily admitted. "I jumped feet-first and tried to make myself go into the water as straight as possible, but apparently there are certain items on a woman's body that aren't meant to be aerodynamic."

"What…" Spencer's momentary curiosity slipped into realization and his cheeks flushed scarlet.

Emily was amused by his reaction, even though her impromptu dive had actually bruised the underside of those delicate features on her chest. She was about to smooth things over with the excitable genius when she spotted JJ striding toward them. The friendly hello on Emily's tongue never made it out when she noticed who was trailing behind the liaison. Emily suddenly felt a bit like a military cadet as she jumped to her feet to greet the man.

"Daddy," her voice couldn't hide the surprise she was feeling as her father clasped her hands and kissed her forehead.

Joseph Prentiss took a step back, still holding his daughter's hands. He stood a good few inches taller than her and wore a dark-gray suit that was tailored to him. "It's good to see you, pumpkin," he greeted, glancing around the space. "All they told me in the lobby was that you'd be on the sixth floor, but this place is huge. Thankfully Ms. Jareau here found me wandering in the corridor," he motioned a hand toward the blonde woman.

JJ caught Reid's eye as they both heard the man refer to Emily as, pumpkin. The term of endearment caused them to grin. It seemed a much more sincere interaction than the one they'd witnessed between Emily and her mother a few years back. "I was happy to help," JJ let him know.

Reid was introduced and the two men shook hands before Emily turned her attention back to her father. "What are you doing here, daddy?"

He squeezed the one hand he still had a hold of. "Can we talk somewhere private?"

"The conference room is free," JJ offered.

"Thanks," Emily replied before moving toward the stairs alongside her father.

xxx

Penelope sensed his presence in her office without even turning around to greet him. "Well, well… look what the kitty drug in. It's nice of you to finally let me know that you are, indeed, alive. You've been back for nearly three hours, what gives?"

Derek placed his hands on the back of her chair and turned her around to face him. He smiled apologetically. "It's called work, baby girl. And I think its Emily you should be worried about. She's the one who jumped off a cliff."

"Oh, yes, I'll be having some words with her too, don't you worry." Garcia easily caught the note of worry in his voice over Emily's well being and had to clamp down her desire to slap him upside the head for not telling Emily how much he carried about her. "But from what I hear, you were not exactly out of harm's way either, left to chase down a bad guy who was packing a Saturday night special."

He grinned at her choice of words. "I know how to take care of myself," Morgan assured her. "And right now I could really use your help on something," he quickly changed the subject. "I'm worried about Anna Wallace trying to extort money from Emily, or stealing her identity," he got straight to the point of his visit.

"You mean Laura Ingalls Wilder?" Penelope scoffed. "The woman doesn't even know how to dress for this century and you think she's after Emily's money?

"It's one theory we… _I'm_ working on," he corrected himself mid-sentence, knowing that Emily was still leery of the accusations.

"Interesting," Garcia swiveled her chair so she was facing her computer screen again. She checked a few things before saying anything more. "All of Emily's accounts look perfectly perfect to me. And trust me when I tell you that no one is going to hack our dear Emily or try to steal anything from her, at least not in the cyber world. Her credit cards, savings account and trust fund won't be touched," Penelope declared.

Derek frowned. "And how do you know that?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know, but Emily's safety was of upmost importance to him at the moment.

"Because I have several safe guards set up for such things," Garcia let him know, catching the way his brow rose and fell in a questioning manner. "Don't look at me like that, secret agent man. It's nothing illegal, just some heavy-duty security I set in place for my besties. You all go out into the field where you have each other's backs. Well, this is me having all your backs."

The answer she gave didn't surprise him in the least, but his mind wandered for a second. "Emily has a trust fund?"

"I never see numbers," she was quick to reply. "But, yes."

Morgan dropped the topic as quickly as he'd picked it up. "And you're positive Anna wouldn't be able to gain access to Emily's money."

"I highly doubt it, unless she's a better hacker than me," Penelope replied. "So, what is all this about Anna? I haven't even met the woman but she seems to be a hot topic around the BAU, and not just because of her antiquated wardrobe. Then there's Ms. Emily who was in here yesterday with this cute stuffed cat, but she was asking some odd questions about its origin." Garcia looked up at him. "You know I hate being left out of the loop, which reminds me I need to ask you about a kiss later," she crooked a finger at him. "But first off, Anna Wallace; what gives?"

He bristled at her mention of the kiss, wondering how she'd managed to weasel that information out of Emily. But Derek was even more surprised by another fact. "I find it hard to imagine you haven't run a background check on her already," he noted.

"I thought she had no background."

"Everyone has a background."

That was Penelope's cue to be snoopy. She typed in the name and was confronted by multiple hits in the US; even narrowing it down to the state of Kansas left several results, but none that he could positively identify as Anna. "Have you got a picture?" she asked.

Derek shook his head. "No, sorry."

"Not to worry. I love a challenge," Garcia set right to it, searching through the BAU's surveillance archive. She had something pulled up in a matter of minutes. "Okay, here's Anna and her daughter in the main lobby when they first arrived. Mr. Security is doing his best to tell her that she needs photo ID to pass go and collect her two-hundred dollars, else she'll be sent straight to jail." Penelope zoomed in on the woman's face and then paused the video. "And, voila… one still photo of Anna Wallace," she declared. "Now, I just save this and…" several move keys were struck as she deftly manipulated information through cyberspace. "Simple as that she's in my facial recognition software program, where I will find a match if it is to be found."

"You're the best," he told her.

"You speak the truth," she grinned.

He shook his head at her boastful nature, knowing he often helped feed it. "How about something a little more challenging?"

"Bring it on."

He recalled the names Emily had dropped the day before. "Anna claims that the people who kidnapped her were Eli and Maggie Wallace. They could be completely bogus names, either created by Anna or by them. Either way, I need you to find whatever you can."

"Your wish is my command," Garcia chirped.

xxx

Emily closely watched her father as they walked into the conference room. His rigid posture deflated a great deal as they passed over the threshold between public and private. She'd just been upset with Morgan for profiling her actions, yet she found herself doing it with her father. It seemed a hard habit to break, but Emily couldn't help notice that he looked rather shaken. Not the steadfast man she'd always known him to be. "Can I get you some coffee, daddy?"

"No," his deep voice rumbled softly as they both took seats at the table. "I know that you went to see your mother yesterday," he stated.

She felt as if she was about to be scolded for doing something wrong. "Yes, I sort of made a fool out of myself. But I guess that's why you're here."

"I'm not here because I'm upset with you, Emily," he was quick to dispel that notion. "I don't exactly know how to tell you what I came here to discuss…" Joseph Prentiss wore his hair closely cropped. It was still very dark with small patches of silver interweaved. His tie was crisp, his cuffs perfectly folded and pressed. He looked the picture of a distinguished businessman, yet he tripped over his words. "The truth has been buried so long that…" he gave up on speaking for a moment, pulled something from his pocket and slid it across the table to her. "I need to tell you the truth about Charlotte."

"Nana?" Emily's brows knit together. "Is this about the doll?" she reached for the item he'd shoved toward her and discovered it was a photograph.

"Not your grandmother," he shook his head. "Your _sister_, Charlotte. She was named after your grandmother."

The room around her seemed to sway a bit as his words sank in. "My sister?" Emily did her best to maintain composure. A great deal of shock coursed through her veins, but also a hint of vindication that she'd apparently been right, at least about the part where she had a sister. More than anything, though, she felt utterly confused as she tried to make sense of it all. "Daddy, I asked mother if I had a sister and she…"

"Lied to you," he finished. "I got a call from her last night at the hotel in Denver. She was sobbing as she told me what happened."

"She lied?" Emily forcefully bit off the words. Her confusion took a drastic turn into anger, despite knowing her mother had cried over the obvious deception. She didn't think she'd seen her mother sob for any reason. "Why did she lie, daddy? Was it to cover for you? Did you cheat on her?"

He didn't take offense to her question. "No, Charlotte was _our_ child. Your mother gave birth to her when we were just eighteen. We were married because of it, because that's what was done back then. And she had to take special night classes after being kicked out of our school," he explained. "I cared for your mother a great deal, but I wasn't prepared for marriage and a baby at that age. We struggled through it somehow, though." He noticed she was staring at him. "Look at the photo, pumpkin," he implored. "There were some hard times, but we were never happier than on that day. I took that shot of my three girls shortly after you were born."

Emily had glanced briefly at the photo, but now she lowered her gaze to have a better look. She'd thought the older child was her at first glance, and the baby some sort of a doll. Now she could see that wasn't the case. The three or four year old girl in the picture looked the spitting image of her father, and Emily knew that she'd always favored her mother. "Where is Charlotte now?" Emily finally asked, even though he'd spoken about her in the past tense earlier.

"You were only six months old at the time…" he took a deep breath to steady his voice, but there were no tears. Those had all been shed long ago. "Your mother took an internship with the Council of American Ambassadors right out of college and there was a reception for the president that night that she had to attend," he got lost in the telling. "I'd planned to go with her, but our sitter got ill and your grandparents were traveling in Europe at the time. So, I stayed home with you girls."

She was more than a little surprised to know that her father had ever taken care of her. Emily only remembered there being nannies and babysitters. "Daddy, what happened that night?" she spurned him onward.

"I'd actually been rather proud of myself because I managed to get you both to sleep with very little trouble," he relayed. "Later I was downstairs eating, watching an Orioles game that I would have missed if I'd been at your mother's gathering. Then you woke up crying. You were always such a quiet little thing, but that night you were inconsolable. I tried everything I could think of, I fed you, changed your diaper… rocked you. I finally asked if you wanted to see Charlotte," his voice quaked.

Emily was pretty certain she'd never heard her father sound so heartbroken. "Did we go see her?"

"Yes," he replied after a long beat. "It was strange how close the two of you were even though you were just a baby. You calmed down right away when I mentioned Charlotte, so I walked you to her room," Joseph sucked in a breath. "The second I opened the door I knew something was wrong. It was so cold in there, freezing. First I noticed the open window, and then the empty bed."

A lump caught in her throat, but she whispered around it. "Charlotte was gone."

"We never found her," he skipped over all the details of that harrowing time in their lives. "After several months your mother decided she wanted to burry Charlotte. She wanted a funeral, even though Charlotte wasn't..." after forty years he still had troubling say the words aloud. "We held one, and then it was over."

"That was it?" Emily's voice filled with disgust. "You just… stopped looking?"

"We had to move on with our lives, Emily."

She tried to deal with one emotion at the time, though it wasn't easy. And more than she was upset about them giving up on her sister, she was pissed off that they'd lied to her about all it for so many years. "Daddy, why didn't you ever tell me what happened? How could you not tell me I had a sister?"

"We thought it was best. We didn't see the sense in telling you since Charlotte was never coming home," Joseph explained. "Your mother got her first assignment a year later. We moved to Amsterdam where she was an aid to the ambassador there. I traveled back and forth to the US to conduct business. We had to move on with our lives," he repeated.

And Emily felt like she'd been lost in the shuffle of it all. But, as much as she hated the thought of them moving on, it was a sentiment she'd heard from parents of kidnapped children many times before. She stared at the picture again, studying it harder. Her mother looked so young and she was smiling, holding baby Emily in one arm as Charlotte was pressed against her other side. When she finally noticed the item tucked under her sister's arm, Emily was hard pressed to keep tears at bay. "The doll was Charlotte's," Emily knew it had never really been hers.

Her father nodded. "Charlotte adored that cat. She carted it everywhere," he recalled. "When your mother and I were both trying to get through college it was difficult having a toddler underfoot, so Charlotte spent a great deal of time with your grandparents. They looked after her for days, sometimes weeks at a time. Your grandmother made that cat for Charlotte and gave it to her for her first Christmas. I remember…" his voice hitched again. "I saw it on the floor by the window the night she was taken, and all I could think was that she'd be so upset without her doll."

"Daddy," Emily reached for his hand, despite how upset she still was with him.

"It was the only thing your mother couldn't part with when we sorted through her things," he spoke up again, voice steady. "She wanted you to have it. In some way she _did_ want you to have a part of your sister; it just hurt too much to talk about it."

Emily wanted to cry and scream all at the same time. "You never should have given up on her," she shook her head, thinking about Anna. But as she looked at the little girl in the picture, she didn't so much see Anna as she did Michelle. "You never should have stopped looking, daddy. Because I think she's still alive."

xxx

Derek paced a section of floor just outside the glass doors that led into the bullpen. He'd heard from JJ that Emily was talking to her father, and although he still had a report to finish, he was hoping to catch her when she was done and maybe get a bite to eat for lunch. He wanted to talk about the fact that Garcia hadn't been able to get any hits on Anna's picture; no aliases, no birth certificate, no school records, not a single shred of evidence to prove that anyone with her face existed. And he was also curious to hear about her father's visit. But his lunch plan began to unravel when the elevator doors to his right opened and Michelle and Anna stepped out.

"Hi, Derek!" the girl bounded toward him, long braid swishing across her back.

Even though he suspected her mother of wrongdoing, there was no way Morgan could keep from smiling at the innocent child. "Hey, sweetness," he reached out to skim his hand over the top of her head. "What are you doing here?"

"We made Emily lunch," Michelle pointed to the paper bag her mother was holding.

"Kind of a long trek just to bring her lunch," Derek responded as he carefully eyed Anna. He couldn't help notice the clothes she was wearing; a black knee-length skirt and green silk blouse. It was still fairly modest attire, but certainly more fitting for the decade, and new. He also let his eyes notice something he hadn't before; her hands. They were not the soft, unblemished hands of a woman who'd lived an easy life by stealing money from other people. They were worn and big-knuckled; a sign of hard work. "How did you get here?" he remained cautious but amiable.

"We took a cab," Anna replied. "Emily left some money for us while she was gone, which I was reluctant to use. But after talking to her this morning about what happened on your case… well, I was worried. I thought maybe she could use a friend."

"She has friends here," he was quick to reply. "And she's talking to her father right now."

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize her father was visiting."

Morgan watched the woman for some sign of nervousness at the mention of Emily's father. "I think it was a surprise to her too," he relayed.

"We should go then," Anna reached for her daughter's hand. "Her father is a much more important visitor than us."

Derek finally realized that it was disappointment that he was seeing on Anna's face. She looked genuinely let down, which caused Morgan to finally drop his guard with her. He was about to stop her from leaving, but someone beat him to it. "Anna, wait!" Emily called to the woman.

Michelle twirled around and flung her arms about Emily's waist. Her big green eyes looked up at the woman who'd become her friend in a short period of time. "My mom said you jumped into a river yesterday, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Emily let her know, seeing the girl through different eyes. She couldn't believe that Michelle might be her niece. But she tried not to let her mind go there, because her theory about Anna being her sister had already been disproved once. "I was helping a little girl."

"I know. Mommy said you saved her life, because you're a hero," Michelle beamed.

Emily kissed the top of the child's head. "I don't know about that, chaton," she replied. "I was just doing my job." She turned to her father who was carefully eyeing the older woman and her daughter. "Daddy, this is Anna," Emily finally introduced them.

"It's very nice to meet you, Anna," Joseph said as he extended his hand to her. "Emily was just telling me a little about you."

Anna easily accepted his hand. "I'm sure that was a rather boring conversation, my life is hardly as exciting as hers. Your daughter is much too modest. Michelle was right; Emily is a hero for doing the things she does. Her whole team is. They took the time to speak with me even though they all know very well that it is unlikely to find a person's family after forty years."

The elevator behind them dinged, causing Anna and Joseph to break apart. Emily, her father and Derek all looked over and recognized the person that had exited the elevator. Elizabeth Prentiss stepped out looking like someone had lit a fire under her. Anna and Michelle edged toward Derek and the three of them shrank back a little as the ambassador's eyes nearly blazed a hole through her husband. "You told her, didn't you?"

"She had a right to know, Liz," the man replied, looking a bit pale in the wake of his angry wife. "Were we going to keep it from her forever?"

"Yes," Elizabeth replied. "We agreed the day we bur…"

"We _buried_ no one, Lizzie," he bravely spoke the word she'd gotten stuck on. "We buried an empty coffin and our emotions. And pretending that it wasn't a lie because we never told her; that was juvenile thinking on our part. Emily had the right to grieve for Charlotte, too."

"This is hardly the place to be discussing any of it," Elizabeth snapped.

"Please, stop…" Anna stepped between them, seeing that Emily looked rather distressed by the conversation between her parents. "I don't know why you are both so upset, but maybe you can talk about it with calmer voices," she suggested.

Ambassador Prentiss, international diplomat with a mile-long reputation for keeping her wits about her under complex circumstances, was rendered silent by the sight of the woman. She looked into Anna's hazel eyes and her whole body tensed. A hand went to her chest as she stumbled backwards. Emily was the first to intercept her mother, and Derek was at the woman's other side a second later as she fell to her knees. "I can't catch my breath…" she gasped.

"Mother," fear laced Emily's voice as she tried to help. "What's wrong?"

Elizabeth didn't get a chance to answer before passing out.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 5

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Emily stared blankly at the newly waxed hospital floor. The ambulance had transported her mother as far as Potomac Hospital in Woodbridge. And according to her father, who'd ridden along, Elizabeth had woken up long enough to protest, claiming the Potomac was an inferior hospital and demanding to be taken into DC to a proper facility. Emily had spoken to her father briefly upon arrival, but that had been nearly three hours ago. She was trying to trust in the old saying, no news is good news. When she looked up, Derek was striding toward her. He'd insisted on driving her, Anna and Michelle. And he'd barely left her side.

"I just talked to Hotch and he said for you to take as much time as you need," Morgan approached her with two cups of steaming coffee. "The rest of the week if necessary," he added. "Apparently you were already meant to be home resting after your swan-dive yesterday," Derek noted, handing her one of the cups.

"Thanks," Emily wrapped her hands around the warm cup as they walked down the long white corridor. There were windows along one side and a mural on the other that depicted a river, no doubt the Potomac for which the establishment was named. There were also several trees and birds scattered throughout the painting. It was rather cheery, but Emily still gave an involuntary shudder as they rounded the corner and headed back to the waiting area. "I hate hospitals."

Derek blew on his coffee. "I don't know that anyone really likes hospitals," he voiced.

She nodded her agreement to that. "Well…" Emily drew out the word. "As far as first meetings with a child that you haven't seen in forty years goes, I think that went rather well… aside from the fact that I gave my mother a heart attack."

"First off," Derek paused for a moment at the end of the hall. He'd easily caught the sarcastic undertones of her comment and faced her with a serious countenance. "I've seen people suffer heart attacks before and I'd have to say your mother more than likely had a panic attack," Morgan hoped he was offering a small bit of comfort by making that observation. His voice grew softer as he continued. "Second, even if it was a heart attack, you had no part in bringing it on."

Her lips shifted to one side. "Oh, I'm sure she'll find a way to blame it on me," Emily resumed their walk, not wanting to slow down for too long. It was a motto she'd used throughout the years; just keep moving so no one can see you're hurting.

"Do you want to stop that?" he asked.

"What?"

"Pretending that you're not worried about your mother," Derek challenged.

She should have known he'd be the one to see through her tactics, but Emily wasn't going to give up without a fight. "I'm not worried," she maintained the status quo of covering up her true feelings. "I'm… angry. I am so pissed at her right now." Those words were certainly true.

"You were the first one at her side," Derek pointed out as he continued to break down her barriers. "I could see and hear how worried you were," he took a slow sip of the dark liquid in his cup and watched her for a moment. "She made a mistake, Emily, but she's still your mother. It's okay to care about her."

"A mistake?" Emily shook her head and picked up more speed as they rounded another corner. She wasn't surprised when he stayed at her side. "That wasn't just a mistake, Morgan. What she did was unforgivable. And if Anna… Charlotte… whatever the hell her name is, hadn't walked into the BAU five days ago my mother would have gone to her grave keeping that secret. But, hey, that would have been okay, right? Because I never would have known any different."

They stopped outside the doors to the main waiting lobby where Anna and Michelle were still sitting. "You're right, what your mother did was hurtful," he agreed with her. "And you have every right to be upset with her," Derek conceded. "But, can you even imagine what your parents have been going through all this time?"

Emily hated how he always managed to open her eyes and see the other side of things. She starred through the small windows in the double doors and spied Anna and Michelle reading some books provided in the lobby. "How did I miss it?" she whispered.

He put a hand to her shoulder. "You didn't, you actually thought Anna might be your sister before you even knew you had one."

"But I dismissed it after my mother lied to my face," Emily lamented. "I didn't even see my father in her, but it's pretty obvious isn't it?"

Morgan did have to admit that he'd seen some resemblance between her father and Anna, even a tiny bit of Elizabeth Prentiss in her as well. "Sometimes we get too emotionally involved to notice the most obvious things. Or we're so emotionally involved that we try to dismiss things because we're hoping to protect someone we care about," his second statement was a veiled apology, but he finally voiced it aloud. "I'm sorry I ever put doubt about Anna into your head."

"Don't be sorry for that, Derek," she turned to face him again. "I know it's hard for you to let others get close. And, yes, I do realize that was a very hypocritical thing to say because I do the same thing," Emily admitted. She leaned against the wall and sipped her coffee. "Do you think dreams can be memories?" she asked. Without waiting for an answer Emily let her scattered thoughts pour out. "In Anna's dream she said someone was crying, and in my father's recount of that night he said I was crying. In the dream I've been having recently all I remember is feeling completely powerless to stop something from happening; helpless, like a… like a baby."

Derek had read a little about dream meaning and interpretation, though mostly he debunked it as gibberish, kind of like his view on astrology. But what she said did seem highly coincidental. Not to mention that Anna showing up after forty years was what most would call a miracle. "I suppose anything is possible," he replied.

Her mind jumped from one thing to the next. "You know, on one hand it pisses me off that my mother lied, but it also makes a lot of sense."

"It makes sense that she lied to you?" Derek was curious about her new train of thought.

"No, not that," she pushed away from the wall. "I just mean that she was always so closed-off from me and strict. Maybe she was protecting herself by not showing me that she loved me," Emily reasoned.

He thought his heart might break hearing her suggest such a horrible thing. "Maybe she did, but that doesn't make it right, Emily. When my dad died I grew even closer to my mother and sisters. The four of us all clung to one another as we grieved," Derek recalled.

She shrugged. "Not everyone reacts to death the same way."

The cup in his hands radiated warmth the likes that he wished he could lend her. "True enough," he agreed. "But I still don't see anything that justifies ostracizing one child after the death of another. It feels like a punishment to me, and you never deserved that," Derek insisted, hoping that line of thinking would end for her. Toward that end, he tried to change the subject a little. "Have you talked to Anna about any of this yet?"

"No, when have I had time?" Emily replied. "I don't even know what to say. If I tell her that she might be my long lost sister, but it turns out she's not…"

Morgan wasn't sure how much upheaval one person could stand in a single day, but he had a feeling Emily was testing the boundaries. "Whatever happens in the end, you need to be honest with her right now," he said.

Emily sucked in a breath and let it out slowly before she nodded and pushed open one of the waiting area doors. The room was large with blue padded chairs and some smaller tables for kids. Groups of family members huddled in various areas, some looking excited about an impending birth, others who wore the anguished faces of those who knew death was imminent. She and Morgan walked to the far corner where Michelle was snuggled up beside her mother.

Derek squatted down in front of the girl. "Hey, sweetness, how would you like to go on an exploration of the hospital with me?" he asked. "I think there is a gift shop, and probably a café. Maybe we could get a treat," he suggested.

Michelle looked to her mother with twinkling eyes that easily relayed her desire to take Derek up on his offer. "May I?" she politely asked.

Anna agreed, but as Emily slid into the seat beside her she could see that the woman was having second thoughts. "She's never been out of your sight before, has she?"

"Only when I knew she was with Eric."

"Derek would never let anything happen to her," Emily promised as she leaned forward and sat her coffee down on the table in front of them. "And I thought maybe we could talk?" she posed it as a question, not wanting to push the woman. Emily was already grateful that Anna had wanted to come to lend her support. "I'm really sorry about earlier. That was quite an introduction to the Prentiss clan," she tried to make light of it. "Actually, I'm surprised you haven't run away yet."

"I heard much worse shouting growing up," Anna revealed in a stiff tone.

Emily wanted to kick herself in the butt. Every time she started to lament about her childhood, all she had to do was recall what she'd read in Eric's journal. He'd never gone into detail about the sort of things that had been done to him and Anna over the years, but the emotional undertones had been enough to tell Emily it had been bad, very bad. "You really stuck your nose in it. I was grateful," Emily observed with a note of thanks.

The woman smiled graciously. "You seemed quite upset by it, I only wanted to help."

"Growing up, I always wished I had someone to step in like you did," Emily revealed. "I was never brave enough to do it myself."

Anna placed a hand over one of Emily's. "I'm sorry. I always had Eric to step in for me. He endured far more abuse than I ever…"

A sigh the size of a tsunami rolled past Emily's lips as Anna trailed off. Again she felt ridiculous for thinking ill of her childhood. "Anna, there's something I need to talk to you about, but I have no idea how to explain any of it to you." Emily smiled knowingly. "Guess now I understand how my father felt earlier," she added before diving in head first. "Anna, when you came to us looking for your family I honestly thought it was a long shot, at best. I never imagined…" she sighed again.

"I am afraid you are not making much sense," Anna said.

"No kidding," Emily mumbled. "None of this makes much sense." One more cleansing breath was swallowed before she finally laid it all on the line. "My parents were arguing because they never told me that I had a sister. She was kidnapped almost forty years ago and they pretended that she was dead, but they never actually found her and…" Emily remembered that she was still holding on to the picture her father had given her. She pulled it from the back pocket of her slacks and presented it to Anna, pointing out the people. "That's my mother, and the baby she's holding is me," her finger then rested on the four-year-old. "And this is my sister, Charlotte." Emily looked Anna in the eye as she spoke the last words. "I think she might be you."

Anna zeroed in on the doll in the black and white photo. "I cannot see the colors, but I believe that is the cat I remember from my dream," she smiled.

Emily was somewhat startled by the joyous reaction. "You seem… happy," she observed.

"Why would I not be happy?" Anna asked. "I can understand that this must be a great shock for you, but I have always believed I was taken as a child," she rubbed her fingertip across the doll again. "This is something I never truly imagined possible, but if it is true then I cannot imagine being anything but happy."

"And what if it isn't true?" Emily countered.

Anna's smile remained bright as she replied. "Then I will at least have made a great friend."

Tears pricked Emily's eyes, but she sucked them down and did her best to share in Anna's happiness. They both agreed not to let their thoughts wander too far down the lane of being sisters. Emily hid the picture away and they read mundane articles in cooking and beauty magazines for nearly an hour before Derek and Michelle returned. The girl walked toward them with a balloon in her grasp and the telltale signs of chocolate rimming her lips.

"We found an underwater playroom," she told her mother and Emily. "There was a little girl there with her mom. She has cancer, but the doctors are helping her get better. We played with some shark puppets. It was fun. And Derek got me ice cream," she beamed.

"I can see that," Anna replied, reaching out to swipe the remains of it off her daughter's face.

Joseph Prentiss entered the waiting room a few minutes later and addressed Emily. "Your mother is out in the hall. She's being released."

The group of them marched behind him and spilled out into the hall where Elizabeth was struggling to get free of the wheelchair she was seated in. A nurse stood behind her looking about ready to strangle the obstinate older woman. "Honestly, I can walk out of here. This is a ridiculous waste of resources," she protested.

"Hey, Prentiss," Derek wore a huge grin as he eyed Emily. "She remind you of anyone?" his head made a not-so-subtle nod toward the ambassador. Morgan chuckled when he saw Emily roll her eyes, clearly recalling the time when she'd made almost the same protest while he wheeled her down a hospital corridor.

Michelle bravely stepped toward the woman in the wheelchair and handed over the balloon. "I got this for you. Derek had to pay for it, but I picked it out," she explained. "I saw you at the place Emily works and you looked sad, so I thought you'd like the balloon because it has a smiley face on it." The girl stood there for a moment, not sure what else to say as the woman remained quiet. "My name is Michelle, what's yours?"

"Elizabeth," she managed to push her name past reluctant lips as she gripped the balloon's string with an iron-clad fist. She regarded the child for a long time before her head abruptly turned to her husband. "We should be going."

Emily frowned at her mother's reaction. "That's it? You're just going to leave?"

"I've already spent several thousand dollars here to find out I've had something called a panic attack, which is ridiculous. I'm sure it was probably just heartburn."

"People don't normally pass out from heartburn, mother," Emily's voice grew cross as she continued to stare at the woman as if she'd grown a second head. "Don't you think it might have been a stress reaction to seeing your daughter again after forty years? Aren't we even going to discuss this?"

"This isn't the place," Elizabeth resolutely replied.

"Right," Emily exhaled in exasperation. "And neither was the BAU. So where would be a good place for you, mother?"

The ambassador finally turned to stubbornly stare at Emily. "Do you honestly think your sister is just going to magically reappear in our lives after forty years?" she shook her head in a doubtful manner.

"I know it's unbelievable, mother," Emily pressed forward. "But look at her," she waved a hand in Anna's direction. "You saw her earlier, she looks like daddy. They have the same eyes. I know you saw that," she insisted. But her mother wouldn't even glance Anna's way. "Look at her, mother!"

"Emily," Derek placed a hand against her lower back, hoping to lend some small bit of comfort.

To all of their surprise, Elizabeth slowly leveled her gaze on Anna. Her jaw tightened and she spoke in a calm and even tone. "I have a friend, Dr. McCleary, who has a lab at his DC practice. I'll arrange an appointment so we can have blood drawn and he can perform the DNA testing. I trust him," she took a quick breath. "I'm certain he'll be able to fit us in tomorrow or perhaps Thursday. He owes me a favor after something I did for his wife a while back," she further explained. "I'll contact Emily with the details and she'll get you there," the woman concluded, turning back to her husband. "Let's go."

Joseph briefly caught Emily's eye and flashed an apologetic look. Then they were off down the corridor. And Emily was left to deal with the fallout. She looked to Anna, much the same as her father had just regarded her. "I'm so sorry for the way she…"

"No," Anna stopped her before she could say another word. "Please do not apologize for the things she said. I would like to know the truth as well. She is only trying to protect herself and you. I imagine I would do the same thing."

"It's just, she can be a little abrupt sometimes but I'm sure…"

Again Anna jumped in to stop Emily from making excuses for the woman. "It's alright, really it is. I understand."

Emily nodded acceptance as she turned her attention to Michelle, gently caressing the girl's soft cheek. "Thank you so much for the balloon you picked out. That was very thoughtful of you."

"Do you think she liked it?" the girl asked.

"I'm sure she did," Emily tried her best to sound confident for the child.

Derek cleared his throat and attempted to help Emily further smooth over some of the tension. "Why don't I take you all out for an early dinner? None of us got a chance to eat lunch and we could all use a break from work places and hospitals right now. So, how about some pizza?" he suggested.

Michelle looked up at him with quizzical eyes. "I've never had pizza, is it good?"

His mouth hung open for a second. "Never had pizza?" he repeated the words in a stunned tone.

Anna moved to stand behind her daughter. She ran her hands along the child's shoulders. "We've never eaten in restaurants. Most of our food came from the garden we grew and the animals we raised."

"Well, then it's definitely time to introduce you both to the wonderful world of pizza," Derek insisted. He ushered Anna and Michelle ahead of them while lagging behind a little with Emily. Morgan gently nudged her in the side with his elbow. "A little pizza in your belly will make you good as new," he tried to bandage the open wound her mother had left.

"Great," her eyes rolled skyward. "If I start pacifying my mother's behavior by eating I'm going to weigh two hundred pounds by the end of the week," she scoffed.

"Nah," Derek shook his head. "Pizza is healthy. It has tomato sauce," he playfully noted.

That finally got a small smile out of her as they exited the hospital.

xxx

It was a balmy Saturday morning and Emily was stuck inside, shifting uncomfortably in the chair that was wedged between Anna and her parents. She hated hospitals, which included doctor's private offices like the one they were all seated in at the moment. She also hated feeling like a buffer between her mother and Anna. True to her word, Elizabeth had arranged the blood draws for Wednesday afternoon. Emily had escorted Anna, following Hotch's suggestion of taking the rest of the week off. Her mother had been in silent mode that day, barely even acknowledging their presence. And again she seemed determined to bury her emotions until the doctor arrived.

Dr. McCleary, a sixty-something man of medium height and weight, entered and sunk into the plush leather chair behind his large mahogany desk. He greeted Elizabeth and Joseph with handshakes and a friendly smile, clearly an old acquaintance of theirs. But his eyes grew serious as he looked over the file in front of him. "I know you were anxiously awaiting this, but I took time to double check the results for you. She's definitely your biological child," McCleary finally announced.

Elizabeth clutched her bag and bolted for the door. Emily took after her, a fire lighting her heels. "Mother stop!" she shouted after chasing the woman half way down the carpeted hall. She watched her mother stop, but her body remained rigid. Emily placed a hand to her shoulder and spun her around. "You cannot keep avoiding this. She's your daughter, aren't you happy about that?" she asked. "I'm happy, and I think Anna and daddy are happy too. Can't you be happy with us?"

"Of course I am pleased to know that she's alive," Elizabeth finally admitted. "I'm not a monster, despite what you may think. But you don't know what it's like to believe for so long that your child is dead and then to see her again. I have no idea what to say to her."

Emily relented a little; glad to finally hear some honesty escape her mother's mouth. "Well, she's been gone a really long time, so maybe you should start with something simple like, welcome home. Or, I missed you." She searched her mother's eyes for some spark of emotion. "Or, I love you."

A sound half-way between a sob and a protest rose from Elizabeth's chest. She stopped it before it could become the sob. "But what could I possibly say to her to make her understand why we stopped looking for her? Do you have any idea how that guilt is eating at me?"

"I feel guilty, too," Anna's voice carried down the hall to them. She walked toward them, Joseph behind her. "I feel guilty for forgetting you."

"You were just a little girl," Elizabeth choked on the words. "No one could blame you."

"Your mother is right," Joseph spoke, a hand to Anna's shoulder. "It was out of your control."

Anna was grateful of their comforting words. "Then why do you continue to blame yourself for something that was out of _your_ control?" she asked.

Elizabeth stepped forward and started to reach out for Anna's hand, but she couldn't. "I was getting ready for my reception that night; my hair was done, my dress on, makeup applied. But I couldn't find the shoes I'd picked to wear. I wandered all around the house and finally found them in your room. You were hiding them because you didn't want me to leave. You wanted me to stay and read you and Emily a story. But I told you my party was very important and that daddy would read to you and put you to bed. Then I kissed your forehead. I wished you sweet dreams and promised to come in and kiss you when I got home. But when I got home…"

She could say no more and fled again, her husband once more at her heels. And Emily left with her newly discovered sister; to watch the look of disappointment cloud Anna's eyes. She suddenly felt like her mother, at a loss for words. There didn't seem to be a balm powerful enough to sooth their family's scars.

xxx

Derek peddled his bicycle along the lake path where he and Emily often ran and rode. He glanced over his shoulder at the girl beside him. The pink bike she peddled had been borrowed from a co-worker who had a little girl about Michelle's age. And he'd taken her to the store earlier that morning to pick out a helmet; one she could keep and wear if they were to ever ride again someday. "You're very good at this. I'm guessing you've ridden before."

Michelle nodded. "I had a bike at home. My daddy got it for me and fixed it up and taught me to ride. I would ride all the time on the gravel areas around our house and sometimes through the corn fields," she explained, a reminiscent smile on her face. "We had to leave it at the farm because we couldn't take it on the bus with us," she added with a note of sadness.

"I'm sorry you had to leave your home and everything you cared about back there," Derek sympathized.

She shrugged. "I have mommy and she's the most important thing I care about. Do you know where she and Emily went today?"

"Well, um…" he wasn't sure how much the child had been told about what was going on and didn't know how much he should tell her. "They had some grown-up things to take care of," Derek finally settled on, even though he knew it sounded foolish.

"Adults always say that when they don't want you to know things," she keenly observed. "They don't think kids can understand stuff. When my daddy was sick, sometimes I would ask my mom if he was going to die and she always said: I hope not. But I think she knew he was going to."

Morgan glanced over at the girl and was reminded of Ellie. He wished, not for the first time in his life, that eight and nine year old children didn't have to grow up so fast due to tragic events. "She just wanted to protect you. That's what parents do," he told her as an idea formed that he thought might be a good distraction. "What do you say we make this ride a little more interesting? I'll race you to the end of the lake," he challenged.

"But you can't cheat and not ride as fast as you can so I win," she countered.

She was clearly too smart for him, Morgan realized. "Okay, I won't cheat," he vowed. Derek fudged a little on his promise, but he kept up a pretty fast pace that Michelle was able to almost match. They were both concentrating so hard on winning that neither one saw the giant puddle at the end of their course until it was too late. Mud sprayed up all around them as they skittered through it and braked on the other side. He chuckled heartily as he looked over to find her leggings and long-sleeve t-shirt covered in mud. "I think I might be in trouble with your mom."

"Mommy doesn't care if I get dirty," she assured him. "She says that clothes were meant to be washed, bodies too."

He smiled at that. "You are one of the best bicycle riding partners I've ever had. Maybe I'll trade Emily in for you," Derek joked.

"But you like Emily, don't you?" Michelle replied. "Isn't she your girlfriend?"

"No, she's just my friend," Morgan countered.

"And she's a girl," the child pointed out.

"Very true," he agreed. "But it's…"

The girl arched her brows at him. "It's a grown-up thing you don't want to talk about."

Derek dropped his shoulders in defeat, knowing he'd been called out by an eight-year-old. "You're too smart for your own good, sweetness." He got back up on his bike and they peddled a short distance at a lazy speed until he picked up the pace again. "Race you back to the car," he challenged.

He beat her to the SUV, but only by a narrow margin, and they toweled off some before heading back to Emily's place. Derek left the muddy bikes in his car, planning to hose them down before returning the one. He was about to open Emily's front door when Michelle pointed out the white 8x10 envelope that was tapped underneath the peep hole. He ripped it off, keyed the lock and they entered. Derek dropped the envelope on Emily's counter then looked to Michelle.

"I'm going to see if there's anything to make for lunch. Why don't you wash up," he instructed, pointing toward the stairs. Derek watched her go and then rustled through the kitchen cabinets and fridge. He quickly decided on the easiest thing possible; peanut butter and jelly. Bread, jam and peanut butter were spread out on the counter when he heard the front door open and close. Derek stuck his head around the corner and greeted the two women. "How'd everything go?" he asked, not exactly sure how to broach the subject of DNA test results.

"Where is Michelle?" Anna asked.

Morgan sensed something wasn't quite right, but he nodded toward the stairs. "She's changing." He watched Anna take off in search of her daughter then aimed his attention on Emily as she shed her coat and kicked off shoes. "Is Anna all right?" he finally asked, returning to the kitchen and his sandwich making task. "What happened? She's not your sister?"

"Yes, she is," Emily responded. "The test confirmed it."

He held the butter knife up in a triumphant stance. "Well, that's great news," Derek grinned. In a week's time he had swung from wanting to help a stranger and her daughter, to thinking the worst of Anna and finally to hoping Emily's family might find some peace after forty years of not knowing what had happened to Charlotte. He was honestly thrilled for Emily, but she didn't look as pleased. "So, why aren't we popping open bottles of champagne?"

"Because my mother is…" Emily sighed, shaking her head. "I don't even know what she is. Stubborn, pigheaded, obstinate… pick one."

Derek did his best to tread lightly on the matter. "I think those all mean the same thing," he noted.

She let go of an awkward chuckle and finally noticed the dried mud on his legs and arms. "Good ride?"

"It was, and I think we may have a female Lance Armstrong in our mists," he replied jokily. Morgan spread raspberry jam on one piece of bread and peanut butter on the other. Then he smashed them together and cut the sandwich in half. He handed her one half and took the other for himself. "I figure some sort of toast is in order," his half was held out toward her like one would a champagne flute. "To your sister."

Emily cracked a smile, glad to have someone share in her joy. Even Anna, who had previously been happy to think she might be a part of their family, had become disenchanted by their mother's response to everything. "To Anna," she added as they touched sandwiches. They both took bites to reinforce their salutation. A few more bites later she spotted the large envelope on her counter. "What's that?"

"I don't know," he shrugged while fixing a sandwich for Michelle. "I found it taped to your door when we got back."

She arched a brow and slid it toward her. "I wasn't expecting any deliveries," Emily carefully ran a finger underneath the seal and tore it open. She pulled out a small stack of black and white photographs and her chest tightened as she looked at the images. "What the hell are these?" she whispered.

Derek moved in behind her and looked over her shoulder. He carefully studied each picture as she flipped through them. One showed Emily, Anna and Michelle in a clothing store. Another of them at a book store. He guessed those were from their outings the weekend before. Yet another photo depicted the pizzeria they'd been at on Tuesday night and another showed Emily and Anna walking along a tree-lined sidewalk, which Morgan guessed was from Wednesday when they'd gone for the blood tests. "Someone is watching you," he finally stated the obvious.

"But why?" Emily couldn't fathom a reason. Then she regarded the last picture, which made the hairs on her arms prickle. Anna, Michelle and she were featured in a close-up shot. Anna's head was circled in red ink with a slash mark through the circle and the word: _Useless_, printed right beside her. Michelle's head was also circled, but without a slash. The word beneath the girl was: _Potential_. A final red circle had been drawn around her head with a question mark to one side. A single word also adorned her head: _Wildcard_.

"Put them down," Morgan was on his cell phone the next second. "Maybe we can get prints."

Emily gladly dropped them onto her counter, but she still couldn't imagine what they meant.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 6

By N. J. Borba

* * *

The others entered the conference room and took seats, but Emily remained standing for a while in front of the large window. She peered down through the blinds, watching as Anna made sure Michelle was situated at her desk before joining them. Emily could see that the girl was inundated with the books, paper, pencils and markers that they'd purchased for her, and she sincerely hoped Strauss didn't happen along to find their mini-daycare facility. She would have happily hid the girl away with Garcia in the tech's lab, except Penelope needed to be at their meeting as well.

"How are you doing?"

JJ's quiet, concerned voice broke through Emily's vigil. "Oh, you know…" she paused, not looking away from her sister. Emily saw Anna speaking with Anderson, no doubt reassuring herself that he would keep an eye on Michelle while they were in the meeting. "As a special treat for my birthday I thought I'd discover a long lost sister," Emily continued. "But that wasn't quite enough excitement for me so I threw in a stalker who seems interested not only in me and my sister, but also my eight-year-old niece. Other than that I'm doing great."

The liaison smiled sympathetically as she touched her friend's arm. She'd grown used to Emily's snarky nature and took it in stride. "We'll figure this out," she offered up before taking her usual seat at the round table.

Emily finally turned away from the window and was greeted by the team's silent concern. Anna entered shortly after and went to sit beside her sister. Garcia hustled into the room a few moments later. "Sorry I'm late," she sat and arranged her personal laptop. Then her eyes lit upon Anna and she smiled welcoming. "I'm Penelope. It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you by not wearing my Laura Ingalls Wilder clothing," Anna replied with a shy grin.

"Oh, boy…" Garcia glared at Derek, because she was pretty sure he was the only one she'd made that comment to. One of her fingers moved back and forth between the sisters. "There's a little family resemblance now that I look for it, but it wasn't until she opened her mouth that I caught the Prentiss vibe from her."

There were a few soft chuckles around the table at that, even from Hotch. But a somber mood descended again as JJ took center stage and began to discuss the matter of the photographs that had been left at Emily's door. "Lab was able to pull a few prints, mainly Emily and Morgan's," she said. "There was also a thumb and index print on some of the pictures, but nothing on the envelope, and nothing in any database to match. They also reported the pictures are of low quality, most likely taken by an inexpensive digital camera and then developed at a store, which could explain the unknown prints."

"Because our UnSub most likely wore gloves when handling them," Rossi guessed.

"Or our UnSub isn't in any database," Hotch countered.

Penelope took over from JJ. "The envelope only had Emily's name. So, I scoured the surveillance tapes at her building." She linked the video images from her laptop to the large screen in the room. They were speed up. "Between 9AM, when Emily and Anna left, to 12:30PM, when Derek and Michelle returned, there were a dozen entries. Ten of those were residents, one was a refrigerator delivery to the second floor and one was this FedEx guy." She stopped on a still image of the man.

He was tall, clean shaven with dirty blonde hair poking out beneath a ball cap that bore the FedEx colors. "He's wearing gloves," Reid noticed.

"They're uniform issued, I checked," Garcia relayed. "It wasn't terribly cold Saturday morning, but my guess is they're more about sanitation for this guy. He probably touches a gazillion packages a day, not to mention door handles, elevator buttons..."

"What do we know about him?" Hotch asked.

"He seems normal enough," Garcia was sure she'd said those words before only to uncover some deep dark UnSub past. "Name is Gary Sullivan and he's worked for the company for five years. Had an arrest for disorderly conduct last year, for which he spent a night in the drunk-tank. A few unpaid parking tickets and, apparently he's late on his rent almost every month, but nothing more serious than that. Thirty-two years old and married. That's all I've got so far," she concluded.

Hotch looked to Dave. "Maybe you and Reid can go talk to him later," he suggested.

"Sure," Rossi agreed.

"There's something else," Penelope said. "Derek asked me last week to search for anything I could on Eli and Maggie Wallace," Garcia saw the look on Anna's face at her mention of those names. It was a combination of fear and loathing. She gulped down her apprehension, wanting Emily and her family to be safe from any further harm and knowing she might have information to make that happen. "The name Maggie Wallace didn't register anything in Wichita or surrounding areas. However, I did find a fairly prominent family in Wichita by the name of Williams. They've owned a plastics manufacturing facility there since 1946."

Derek had been carefully watching Anna for any signs that she'd heard the name Williams before, but she seemed perfectly calm. "How does this tie to Maggie Wallace? Or does it?" he pushed his friend.

A new image popped up on the screen to replace Gary Sullivan. "This woman is Margaret Williams, one of the heirs to the Williams Plastic dynasty."

Anna took a shaky breath before she spoke. "It's her," she confirmed. "She looks much younger, but…"

Emily reached for her sister's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "So, she changed her name when she married this Wallace guy. Why is there no record of that?"

"_If_ she was married to Eli Wallace, she never changed her name," Garcia replied. "But she was definitely married to _this_ guy for a short time." A dark-haired man joined Margaret's picture on the screen. "That's Ian Ballard, who she had a son with; Jacob Ballard," Garcia spoke that name as the picture of a young boy appeared.

"No," Anna's voice was a strangled cry as she stared at the boy. "No, she was not his mother. She could not be," tears welled and spilled down her cheeks.

Emily easily guessed what her sister was talking about, because his green eyes reminded her of Michelle. "He was Eric, wasn't he?" she asked as gently as possible.

"Yes," Anna wiped her tears.

Reid furrowed his brow. "How is it that Eric didn't know she was his real mother?"

Garcia had an answer for that. "I found an article in the Baltimore Sun archives about Ian Ballard being found in his home, throat slit. That was in the spring of 1971, right about the same time Charlotte, um… Anna was taken. The boy, Jacob… Eric went missing from his father's house that night. Apparently the father had full custody and kicked his lush of a wife out when Jacob was just eight months old. He and his second wife, Tammy, were raising the boy when he went missing."

"And this Tammy Ballard woman, what happened to her?" JJ asked.

"Strangled to death the same night as Ian died," Garcia grimly reported the facts.

Rossi considered the case aspects. "One strangled and one with a slit throat kinda sounds like multiple UnSubs to me. We know Eric was with his mo… with Margaret all these years," he decided to give Anna the peace-of-mind not to call the woman Eric's mother. "She's also the most likely to want to cut her ex's throat."

"And strangling is typically a male UnSub trait; the use of brute force," Hotch noted. "Eli Wallace," he concluded.

Derek was a little confused by something. "It seems obvious to all of us that Margaret Williams was responsible, didn't the police come to that same conclusion? And yet she lived less than a hundred miles outside Wichita, where her family's from, but no one ever went after her?" Derek was upset by that notion, even though he knew kids had gone missing before and shown up years later not very far from their abduction sites.

"Forty years ago they didn't exactly have amber alerts, or a lot of the resources we have these days to find lost kids," Reid pointed out. "And even if they did question her family, it's likely they lied to cover for her."

Hotch shifted the conversation a little. "What about Eli Wallace?"

"Unfortunately," Garcia sighed in defeat, which was a rarity. "I know even less about him, as in, nothing. I searched a lot of Eli Wallace's in this country, scoured IRS records, social security numbers, everything I could think of and nothing matched the parameters of the guy in question." She looked to Anna. "Maybe I could do more if you have a picture of some sort that I could run?"

Anna shook her head. "Eric and I, we… we burned everything in that house that reminded us of them. We made better memories for ourselves there, happy ones, especially after Michelle was born. There were never any pictures of those people, anyhow."

"Because they didn't want to run the risk of being found out," Emily surmised.

The eldest Prentiss sister shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "I thought we were trying to figure out who sent those pictures to Emily."

"That is our goal here, Anna," Hotch answered. "Whoever sent those pictures is likely someone you or Emily knows, possibly someone from your past."

"But I told you before that Maggie and Eli are dead," Anna returned.

Derek could see she was upset by the conversation, but he suspected there was more to it. "Are you sure that they're both dead?" he asked. "Can you tell us exactly what happened to them?"

Anna looked fearful as she eyed her sister. Emily squeezed her hand again. "You don't have to, but it could only help us to know. And I'll be right here the whole time. I promise you can stop any time you want if it becomes too much for you."

The woman nervously ran her knuckles across her lips then bit down softly on the tip of her thumb. "Eric and the man were working… they always went out to work the fields together. They watched us every second of every day, at least while we were free," she revealed.

"Free?" Emily took point on the questioning, even though it was breaking her heart already to hear the truth come out. "Did they lock you up somewhere?"

"In the barn sometimes," Anna's voice was barely a whisper. "There was a cellar," she shook her head and regained the full use of her voice. "Most days they let us be out, usually to work. I was in charge of the garden and some of the animals; feeding them. Eric worked the fields with him. He also milked cows and did all the repairs on things around the place."

Emily breathed out through her nose. "So, one day Eric was working with him…" she gently prompted.

"They were in the south corn field, plowing for planting season," Anna recalled. "I heard them yelling, but she was watching me so I couldn't go see what was happening. She always just watched, never helped. Her eyes always looked at me like she hated me, but I don't know what I ever did to make her hate me."

"You didn't do anything. She needed to make you feel bad so she could feel good," Emily was quick to assure. "Now, can you tell me what else happened that day?"

Anna bit her bottom lip. "He screamed, and she finally looked away from me and took off toward the field. I followed and found Eric standing over him. The plow had severed his leg and it was bleeding. There was so much blood, and she told me to run to the house and get blankets, bandages, anything to help… but I did not obey her that time. Eric took my hand and we just stood there and watched him bleed to death." She took a shuddering breath. "It was not until years later that Eric told me it had not been an accident. He had pushed the man."

The room was silent for a long time after that, allowing her words to sink in. Derek could tell she was worried, fearful of what they would all think. He couldn't speak for everyone, just himself. "Eric did what was necessary to survive, it's called self defense," he told her.

"He was not a violent person," she insisted.

"I know," Derek assured her.

Hotch hated to have to push her more, but he shot Emily a look that implored her to keep at it while Anna was still in a mind frame to talk. "What happened to Margaret?" Emily continued at her boss's insistence. "How did she die?"

"She didn't," Anna confessed. "After the man's death, Eric felt confident enough to stand up to her. It took us thirty years, but we finally fought back. He told her to leave or he would hurt her," she recalled. "It was no worse than the things they told us. They always used Eric against me and me against him, telling us they would kill the other if we did not do as they said."

Morgan felt vindicated in what he'd told her about self-defense. "So she left?" he sought clarification.

Anna nodded. "We never saw her again. And we pretended that she was dead. It made us feel safer to think that than worrying that she might return. But that is what you think, right?" she finally realized. "You believe she has come back."

"It seems likely," Rossi confirmed what the team was all thinking. "She realized that without Eli she didn't stand much chance against both of you, so she fled. But she's probably been watching you all this time. And when Eric died she regained her confidence."

"But Eric has been gone nearly a year," Reid pointed out. "Why has she waited so long to come after them?"

Hotch was curious about that as well. "Anna is useless to her, probably because she fought back."

"Michelle is still young with the potential to become whatever she was seeking from Eric and Anna," Dave rolled with it.

"Emily being referred to as a wildcard suggests that she intentionally waited," Morgan added to their theorizing. "Maybe she hoped Anna would find her family. To what end, though..." he had no answer for that.

"Be overly cautious," Hotch directed his words to Emily and Anna. "I'll try to have a patrol car cruise by your building at least once a day, but the budget is already stretched pretty thin. I hate that it comes down to that, but any extras are hard to arrange."

"Then I offer my services," Rossi said. "I can check in on them from time to time," he suggested.

"I could do that, too," JJ agreed.

"And me," Reid and Garcia spoke in unison.

Anna squeezed her sister's hand and smiled gratefully as she looked around the table. She knew without words that Derek and Emily's participation in keeping tabs on them was already a given. "You are all much too kind. Thank you. I do not know how I will ever repay you."

"It's not necessary," Dave insisted.

xxx

Emily stretched her arms above her head, pointed her toes and arched her back, yawning as she woke. She got up, pulled her robe on, donned some slippers and headed downstairs. The kitchen was quiet, but occupied. Anna had coffee made, even though Emily knew her sister only drank tea. They'd gone a whole week without any further contact from their creepy picture taker, and Emily hoped to keep it that way. She hoped Margaret, if it was her, would just leave them alone. Although, the way her month was going, Emily didn't think holding her breath on that one was such a good idea.

"We are having pancakes," Anna announced. "Homemade ones," she added.

"Sounds great," Emily replied sleepily as she dragged her feet across the tile floor to get coffee.

Anna smiled. "I am glad you sound happy about it, because you are going to make them," she proclaimed.

"Huh?" Emily's face contorted in confusion. "I don't know how," she shook her head.

"Well, this morning you are going to learn," Anna insisted. "I will teach you. You follow a recipe. It is not hard."

The profiler groaned. "Maybe some other day, when I haven't just returned from chasing some crazy aerobics instructor killer," she realized only too late that Michelle was nearby, coloring at the coffee table in the living room. Emily glanced across the room and saw the child still intently working on her drawing. She sank back against the counter and sipped her drink.

"How do you do it?" Anna asked. "How do you willingly face that kind of thing on a daily basis?"

A shrug rose Emily's left shoulder. "You just learn to shut it away into a small corner of your mind, a place you forget about."

"Does that work?"

Emily sighed. "Some days it does."

Her sister pulled out a measuring cup and bowl from an upper cupboard and placed them on the counter. She turned to look at Emily. "It never worked for me."

Those words soured Emily's mood, but she tried her best to lighten the situation. "Why does my place look cleaner than it's ever been?" she asked.

"We wanted to do something nice for you," Anna replied, happy to leave the other conversation behind. She gathered more items for their breakfast; eggs, milk and flour; placing them beside the bowl. "Come here," Anna beckoned her sister. "You are doing this. Not me," she maintained.

"Anna, I don't want you to clean my place," Emily continued to avoid the pancake ingredients. "You're my guests, and I have someone who comes to clean."

The older woman nodded. "I know, I saw her on Thursday and told her she could go home, because I already cleaned. I'm happy to do it, and I want to help. I like to keep busy and this place is very small compared to where I lived before. I have no chickens to feed here, or garden to tend."

"So you washed my mini-blinds?" Emily noticed that the taupe colored shade device on her kitchen window was actually sparkling.

Their back and forth game of insistence and avoidance was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Michelle jumped to her feet. "I'll answer it!" she exclaimed.

She was half-way to the door when Emily reached out and stopped her, snaking one arm around the child's waist. "Hold on there, chaton. Remember what your mom and I told you about answering the door or the phone?"

"To be careful and make sure I know who it is first by checking the caller ID and looking through the peephole on the door," Michelle regurgitated the information almost verbatim. The bell chimed again and her eyes opened wider as she looked up at Emily. "Now can I check who it is?"

Emily let go of the girl and nodded. She watched as the child scooted the step-stool they'd bought for her over to the door. Michelle climbed up and looked through the peephole as instructed. Her head turned to Emily. "It's a man, but I don't know him."

"Go into the kitchen with your mom," Emily ordered. She waited until Michelle was out of sight before looking through the peephole. The man was wearing the same FedEx garb she'd seen on the Sullivan fellow in Garcia's video. But it wasn't him. She finally opened the door, keeping the chain in place. "Can I help you?"

"Delivery for Emily Prentiss," he waved a white envelope at her through the slit of open door. "You need to sign."

She put her hand through and beckoned for his clipboard. Emily signed the digital screen and handed it back to him. Then she used one corner of her bathrobe to grasp the envelope so she wouldn't get prints on it. He shot her a funny look, but Emily didn't care as she slammed the door in his face. When she finally looked at the envelope she saw that it was from her mother. Emily let out a sigh and tore it open. She actually smiled at what she found inside.

"Was it something from…" Anna didn't know how to discuss the woman without explaining things to her daughter. She wanted Michelle to be cautious, but she didn't want her to know details about what was going on.

"No," Emily handed over the item. "It's for you."

Anna looked at the piece of paper that bore a golden seal, some fancy writing and small black footprints on the bottom. She read the name of the child listed on the birth certificate. "Charlotte Noreen Prentiss."

"Noreen was our grandmother on daddy's side. She died when he was a little boy," Emily explained. She watched her sister for some kind of reaction, hoping for a happy one. "This means you can get some picture ID now, maybe even look for a job if you still want to. And you can also apply for a legal birth certificate for Michelle so she can go to school here."

"No," Anna shook her head. "I don't know this name… I don't know this person," she tossed the paper onto the counter and fled the room, headed upstairs.

Emily went after her sister and was at the top of the stairs when the doorbell rang again. She heard Michelle's little feet slapping against the floor and Emily quickly turned around to make sure the child didn't open the door to anyone. At the bottom of the stairs she saw the door hanging open and no Michelle in sight. She raced to the partition and flung it open wider. Her heart nearly leapt out of her throat when she saw Derek there with Michelle in his arms.

"I found something that belongs to you," he grinned, hefting the girl inside. Morgan noticed Emily's frightened look. "She took a peek at me before opening the door," he revealed. "Don't worry so much, it causes ulcers."

She breathed a little easier as they all moved into the kitchen. Emily spied the recipe Anna had left out for her and grabbed the measuring cup, thinking her efforts to cook breakfast might help Anna come around. "What are you doing here so early?" Emily finally asked him.

Derek sat Michelle down on the counter. "Well, I received a personal invitation for pancakes," he glanced over at what Emily was doing. "Although I didn't know you'd be the one making them."

"I didn't invite you," Emily retorted, clearly catching the apprehension in his tone at the thought of her cooking.

"I did," Michelle swung her legs back and forth.

It was hard not to be touched by the girl's happy mood. Emily wished her sister were in the same spirits. "I believe I taught you how to use the phone in case of an emergency," she reminded the child.

The girl nodded. "It was an emergency. I wanted to tell Derek that you're my auntie," she looked to the man in front of her. "Mommy said she and Emily are sisters and that the lady at the hospital, Elizabeth, is my grandmother and the quiet man is my grandfather. I've never had any of those things before," she smiled brightly.

Morgan already knew all of what she'd just said, but he was honored that she'd wanted to share the news with him. "I'm really happy for you, sweetness." He glanced around the place for a second. "So, where is your mom?"

Michelle frowned. "She got upset and went upstairs."

"Hey, kiddo," Emily walked away from her task for a moment and rubbed a hand along Michelle's back. "Why don't you go up and tell your mom that Derek is here, and that we're going to have pancakes real soon."

Derek helped Michelle hop down and watched her bound up the stairs two at a time. He spotted something on the counter and picked it up. "Is this what upset Anna?"

"Yep," Emily answered, mixing her pancake concoction with a wire whisk. "She said she doesn't know who Charlotte is. Can't say I blame her, either. She must be so confused," Emily felt her ire rising and let out her frustration on the unsuspecting pancake batter, beating it to within an inch of its life.

"I think anyone would be," Derek commented.

"She's been putting on happy faces for me and Michelle," Emily continued. "But I think they're masks. I think she's at least a little depressed by all of this. Learning about Eric's mother, and the possibility that Margaret is still out there gunning for her. When I called to check in on them Thursday it was five in the evening here and Anna said she'd been sleeping," Emily rambled on. "And then there's our mother of the year candidate, Elizabeth Prentiss, who still won't even talk to her. Do you know what she did?" Emily let out an annoyed sigh. "She had a bed delivered here the other day while we were in Albuquerque, because I made the mistake of telling her that Anna and Michelle were sharing the _one_ bed in my _one_ guest bedroom."

"She was trying to do a nice thing for them," Derek thought it seemed reasonable enough.

"Oh, but that's not all," Emily continued. "She sent me a note with that bed which dropped several hints about how she and daddy have three spare bedrooms at their place and that maybe it would be best that Anna and Michelle come to stay with them. Also fed by the fact that I told her about this stalker business, because I felt that being honest was the best policy, though I'm not sure where I learned that from."

Derek's lips curled a little as he watched her pour batter into the frying pan. Seeing her cook was something he never thought he'd witness. "It seems to me that she just wants to protect her daughter and granddaughter. How is that a bad thing?"

"It's not," Emily couldn't argue about that. "But why does she keep coming to me with it? Even that birth certificate was addressed to me. Why can't she talk to Anna? It's like I've become some wooden dummy with her ventriloquist hand shoved up my ass," she chuckled softly. The laugh grew, but she felt bad for it. "I don't know why I'm laughing, it's really not funny."

"It's a little bit funny the way you tell it," he grinned. A second later he watched a solitary tear streak down her face. Derek reached out to wipe it away with the pad of his thumb. "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

She smiled through her tears. "Vonnegut," Emily knew the quote.

He nodded. "Honestly, I think your mother needs you, Emily. She's uncertain about how to deal with Anna and she's seeking out your guidance. If your mother and Anna are ever going to work this out, I think it's gonna be because of your influence in both of their lives."

The conversation was left at that as Michelle returned with her mother. Emily flipped several pancakes and served them up; hoping food poisoning wouldn't be on the toppings list along with butter, syrup and jam. They all sat at the table like civilized people, but it wasn't long before some furtive looks were exchanged. "Are pancakes meant to be crunchy?" Derek finally asked.

"Real nice, Morgan," Emily instantly took offense.

"It was just an observation."

"Yeah, that I suck at cooking."

"No, you do not… suck?" Anna shook her head. "That is an odd word to use, isn't it?"

Emily sometimes forgot that her sister, for all her book smarts, had never fully lived in the real world. Outings to libraries hardly qualified. "The word suck has grown to mean things it was never meant for, but when I joined the bureau I had to wean myself off of other more colorful vocabulary," she explained.

"Well, maybe you just need a little more practice with the pancakes," Anna suggested as she took another bite. "And less baking soda," she noted.

"I was thinking…" Emily took a bite and turned up her nose. She added a lot more syrup. "We're still having a bit of Indian summer, so I thought it might be fun to go to the park today."

"Can Derek come?" Michelle asked. "Can we ride bikes again?"

Morgan was a little surprised the girl had latched on to him. He liked kids well enough, but they usually found him a bit scary. The only kids he'd gotten very close to over the years were Jack, Henry, Ellie and now Michelle. "I don't have a bike for you to ride today, but we could go for a walk and I know there's a playground there. Swinging is always good for building strong, riding, leg muscles."

"What about you, Anna?" Emily asked. "We could make some sandwiches and have a picnic."

"I don't feel up to going out today, but you three should go," the woman replied.

Emily was disappointed by her sister's response, but she wasn't ready to give up yet. "I heard about a trick or treating event at the USA Mall in McLean tonight." She caught Derek's eye, knowing it was the mall where he'd once averted a terrorist attack. It had actually been her first case with the team. "It's from 7-9PM, and there's about fifty stores participating. That's a lot of candy," she eyed Michelle.

"I believe Halloween is when children threaten to play a trick if they do not get a treat," Anna voiced her concern.

"No, that's pretty much never the case these days," Emily tried to assure her.

"I read about trick or treating in a book," Michelle said. "Is it fun?"

Morgan noticed that Emily was looking a little upset by her sister's mood so he jumped in. "Trick or treating is a lot of fun," he told Michelle. "You get to dress up in a costume and see everyone else's costumes."

"Could I do that, mommy?"

Anna nodded. "If you'd like to. I'm sure Emily will take you."

"The point was for all of us to go," Emily informed her sister. "It's your first holiday with me. I wanted it to be special."

"I told you I don't feel up to it!" Anna shouted, rising from her seat and rushing from the room.

Derek watched Michelle and Emily push pancakes around their plates. He couldn't be sure if was due to the fact that they were awful, or that Anna had just blown up at her sister. "So, what kind of costume do you think you'd like, Michelle?" he asked, hoping to bring them both back to life. "I bet that the day before Halloween means we could get some pretty great deals on a costume. Maybe we should go to some stores after the park," he suggested.

The girl shrugged. "Okay."

xxx

Playing outside in the sunshine, eating an ice cream cone and finding the perfect Halloween costume had all helped put Michelle in a better mood by that evening. She sat still on the kitchen counter as Emily applied some make-up to finish off her costume. Morgan was hovering nearby, having spent the whole day driving them around. He smiled as he saw Michelle's costume come to life. "All finished," Emily declared. "Why don't you go show your mom and tell her we're leaving real soon."

Michelle took off, and Derek could read Emily like a book. "Seeing Michelle isn't going to change Anna's mind. She seems pretty adamant about not going."

"I just wish I understood why," she sighed.

"Emily, she's spent the last forty years with basically only three other people in her life and two of them were abusers," he reminded her. "The fact that she was able to get on a bus and travel all the way out here was probably a huge step for her. Socializing is something even kids have to gradually learn. I think we need to give her some time, and space."

Her brows arched. "We? Does that mean you're coming along with us tonight?"

"Nah, I don't do Halloween remember?"

"Well, Michelle is not exactly the Halloween honey sort, but she is pretty sweet," Emily chuckled. "And I'd really rather spare another Prentiss heir the task of muddling through a mediocre childhood, especially since she's already been through so much lately. I think she'd love it if you tagged along."

His head shook. "That was a pretty good speech, but I think you just don't want to be alone in a mall full of kids."

"There is that," she used her eyeliner pencil to run a streak across his cheek before he even knew what hit him.

"Oh, no," Derek tried to bat her hand away from his face. "I'll go, but I didn't agree to a costume."

"Just a little bit of something to go along with Michelle's costume. I'll do it too," Emily proceeded to make several marks on her face. When she was done, she turned a smile his way. "Come on, it will be cute," she insisted.

"The terms cute and Derek Morgan do not go together." But he felt himself slowly caving under the weight of her persistence. "What if I see someone I know?"

She dismissed his concern. "Who could we possibly run in to?"

Two hours later Michelle was walking between them as they circuited the mall, ducking inside each store that was participating in the trick or treat event. They were just about to enter the Adidas store when they heard a familiar voice call to them. Emily and Derek both turned to see Hotch and Jack approaching them. "Hi, Derek! Hi, Emily!" the boy exclaimed. "I'm Superman!" he raised his arms into the air like he was flying.

"Yes, you sure are," Morgan agreed, lifting him up so that he actually was flying as they turned in a circle. When he put the boy back down, Derek motioned Michelle over. "Jack, this is my friend, Michelle," he introduced the kids.

"Hi, Michelle," the boy flashed a friendly smile her way.

"Hello, Jack," she politely replied.

Hotch was glad for the kids' meeting, but he couldn't help starring at his colleagues. "Are those whiskers on your faces?"

"Derek and Emily are cats," Michelle was the one to answer. "But I'm a chaton, because that's what Emily calls me."

"I don't know what that means," Hotch looked to the girl for an explanation.

"It's the French word for kitten," she beamed.

Jack bounced up and down in front of his father to gain attention. "Daddy, can I go in this one?" he pointed toward the shoe store.

"Sure, why don't you and Michelle go together," Hotch ushered both kids into the store. "Don't forget to say thank you," he called after them, waiting until they were out of sight before his attention returned to Derek and Emily. "So," he looked them over again. "You're cats?"

Emily felt slightly embarrassed, but she sensed that Derek wasn't planning to say a single word about their appearance, so she tried to gloss over the fact they were both sporting painted on cat whiskers. "It was very last minute. And what are you supposed to be, man in a suite?" she expertly diverted the topic.

"I'm an FBI agent. I even have a real badge," Hotch cracked a smile.

"Very original," Emily chuckled, happy to see her boss in a good mood for a change.

The kids ran back, brandishing their sacks of candy. "I got something called… Snickers?" Michelle said. "Are they good?"

Jack nodded, not seeming to find it odd that she didn't know what a Snickers bar was. "I like Snickers, but M&Ms are better," he waved the yellow package of peanut M&Ms he'd gotten. Then he tugged at his father's hand. "Come on, daddy, let's keep going," he insisted in an impatient manner very befitting of a five-year-old.

Hotch pointed his finger in the direction Jack was pulling. "We're headed that way."

"We're going the opposite direction," Emily replied. "But maybe we'll see you again up on the second level," she offered as Jack finally got the upper hand and drug his father away to the next store. Michelle set out in front of her adult chaperones, black cat tail swishing against the polished floor. Emily fell into step behind her niece. She couldn't help notice the sideways glare Derek was shooting her. "What?"

"Who could we possibly run in to, huh?" Derek shook his head at her. "You owe me for this, Prentiss. You owe me big time."

xxx

Michelle was fast asleep by the time they got back to Emily's place. Derek carried the girl inside and up the stairs as Emily directed him to the guest room where Anna and Michelle slept. Emily tried to be as quiet as possible, not hearing any sound in the room or seeing any light on. She felt bad having to flick the lamp on, not wanting to disrupt her sister. But when the soft light flooded the room Emily realized her sister wasn't in bed.

"At least take her shoes and tail off," Emily instructed Derek as she slipped out of the room.

She padded downstairs to see if she'd missed Anna sitting in the darkened living room, but with the lights on Emily could see that no one was there. She poked her head into the powder room and the laundry alcove, but there was still no sign of her sister. Emily rushed back upstairs and ran into Derek in the hall. "I don't know where Anna is," her voice revealed a note of panic.

Derek stayed close as they went to check her bedroom. Emily noticed that there was light coming from the adjoining bathroom and she pushed the door open. They found Anna lying on the floor, curled up beside the Jacuzzi bathtub. Emily sunk to her knees in front of her sister. "Anna?" she tried to rouse the woman.

"Emily?" a small response came from the supine woman.

"Hey, what happened?" Emily helped her sit up.

Anna noticed Derek was there and felt somewhat uncomfortable. "I don't know. I was just going to take a bath in here, but I was kind of tired and…"

Morgan reached down to help her up and heard the soft groan she gave when he placed his hands against her lower back. Emily heard it too and pushed Anna's shirt up to discover a few small bruises close to her lip bone. "Did you fall?" Emily asked.

"I don't think so," Anna replied.

They got her to Emily's bed and Derek took a deep breath before asking some harder questions. "Did you take anything? Maybe a few aspirin? Some wine?"

Emily knew what he was thinking. She hated to admit the thought had crossed her mind as well. "Anna, if something is going on…" she took a breath and sat down on the bed beside her sister. "You can talk to me about anything."

"I'm just tired."

A concerned frown drew the corners of Emily's mouth down. She reached up to press her palm against Anna's forehead and turned to Morgan. "It's a little warm."

"Have you felt sick at all today?" he asked. "Nauseous? Vomiting? Diarrhea?"

Anna shook her head to all of his questions. "I just need some rest," she made a move to stand up, but felt a little wobbly on her legs.

Morgan and Emily booth reached out to steady her. "I don't like this. I think she should be checked out," Emily suggested.

Derek nodded his agreement. "I'll drive you."

"No," she protested. "You should stay here with Michelle. I'd rather not drag her to another hospital, especially since she's already asleep."

"Well, I'm not letting you drive Anna, you're too upset," he didn't deliberate long on what to do. "I'll call your parents."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 7

By N. J. Borba

* * *

It took Elizabeth a few seconds to remember where she was upon waking. She lay on Emily's bed, still fully clothed and weary from a restless night. Many years had passed since she'd last held a doll, but Charlotte's old cat was tucked under her left arm. She'd found it on the dresser in the guest room while checking on her sleeping granddaughter. As she clutched the doll, Elizabeth remembered the soft-spoken little girl who had loved ballet and bedtime stories. Those long-buried memories had only recently been set free. They were a comfort, but also served to confuse her.

A deep breath was taken as she tried to settle her mind; instead her eyes fell upon a book on Emily's nightstand.

The slightly tattered item was open to a page that she felt compelled to see closer up. After a few hesitant moments, she reached for it and held it on her lap. She had seen her younger daughter's writing enough to know this wasn't it. She read the words aloud. "_Yesterday was bad. I held Anna for a long time before she stopped crying and fell asleep, but we still had to stay in the cellar all night. I don't know why they hate her more than me. I wish I could make everything better for her. I'd gladly stay if it meant her being free from this_…" Elizabeth flipped through the pages, unable to read any more.

She stopped on another section nearer to the back of the journal and read again. "_I felt the baby move tonight; our baby. Some days I hardly believe it's true that we are to be parents soon. And the elated look on Anna's face was amazing. I worried for a long time that I'd never see her happy like she is now. She really loves this child even though we haven't even seen it yet. This baby has given both of us a reason to hope again_." Elizabeth closed her eyes as she bit back tears.

"Grandma?"

Her eyes reopened to regard the dark-haired child standing in the open doorway. Michelle looked to her with a curious countenance. She rose from Emily's bed, sweeping her legs over the right side. The journal and doll were both discarded as she stood, faced Michelle, took a deep breath and tried to think of something to say. It had been a long time since Emily was eight years old, and she hadn't done a very good job of relating to her daughter then, nor most of her life.

Noticing the makeup still on the girl's face, Elizabeth hoped that might make a good opening. "I hear you dressed as a cat last night and went trick-or-treating?"

The girl nodded, mostly out of politeness. She had much more important things on her mind than candy. "Where's my mom and Emily?"

Seeing the worried look on Michelle's face caused Elizabeth to reevaluate her decision to stay with the girl rather than going to the hospital. Even with all her years of practice delivering difficult news to members of foreign countries, she found it a complex thing to talk to her granddaughter. "Your mom wasn't feeling very well last night so she went to a hospital. Emily wanted to stay with her," she finally managed.

"What about Derek?" Michelle asked.

"He went with them," Elizabeth replied, trying to gauge the child's reaction.

Michelle knew the woman and she wasn't afraid, but she was still unsure what her presence meant. "Can I go see mommy?"

"Certainly," Elizabeth replied. "But perhaps we should get you cleaned up first. I can run you a bath."

"I know how to take my own shower," the girl stated, a bit defensively.

The smallest hint of a smile graced Elizabeth's lips. That obstinate nature was something she certainly recognized from Emily at the age; the desire to do everything on her own. She nodded her agreement. "Okay, but how about I help pick out some clothes for you to wear?"

"All right," Michelle turned away for a second, nearly ready to leave. But she spun around and faced the older woman again with inquisitive eyes. "Grandma? Why didn't I ever meet you before? Why didn't mommy talk about you?"

Children often asked the most poignant and difficult questions, Elizabeth realized. "When your mother was little, even younger than you, she had to go live somewhere without us. And we…" Elizabeth tried to figure out what exactly to say to the girl. She wanted to tell her the truth, but she wasn't sure how. It was a conversation she'd considered having with Emily so many times over the years, but had always chickened out of. "Do you know what the word kidnap means?"

Michelle scrunched up her nose in thought. "Is it like what happened to mommy, her being taken away from her real family when she was little?"

"She told you that?"

The child nodded. "But why didn't she remember you?"

"Because she was so little," Elizabeth found it somewhat easier to explain, given the child's knowledge. "Do you remember when you were four years old?"

"I remember daddy singing the Michelle song," she answered. "And mommy singing the French song to me. I always liked when they sang to me," Michelle smiled softly at those memories. "My mom said she hoped to find her real family some day and then we met Emily and you and grandpa. I think that made her happy. And I'm happy when she's happy. After daddy died she wasn't happy for a long time and neither was I, but now we have you," the girl concluded.

Elizabeth found herself at a loss for words again. She was amazed by the girl's capacity to keep moving forward. "The faster you get into the shower, the sooner we can go see your mother," she encouraged. As she watched the child finally take off down the hall, Elizabeth found that she was anxious to see her daughter as well.

xxx

A soft but persistent pressure against her right shoulder caused Emily to finally open her eyes. Her vision remained blurry for several moments as she slowly remembered where she was. Emily looked over to find Derek seated beside her and she carefully untangled herself from the scratchy blanket they'd procured from the nurses' station. "Morning," Derek greeted. "Sleep well?"

"No," Emily yawned. The bench she was curled up on might as well have been made of concrete for all the comfort it had offered. "Probably about as good as you by the looks of it," she sat up fully, noticing his droopy eyelids and five o'clock shadow. Thankfully they'd found a place to wash up after Anna had been admitted, so at least they were cat-whisker free. "You really should have gone home last night," she told him, running fingers through her mess of hair.

"Your dad has been with Anna all this time, and your mom is with Michelle," he pointed out. "I thought you could use someone too," Derek handed her a cup of coffee.

"We really need to stop having coffee dates in hospitals," she remarked, gratefully taking the offer of liquid fuel.

"I agree," Morgan nodded, sipping his coffee. What he really wanted to say involved asking her out on a real date, but Derek knew she wanted to keep things on a friends-only level, and he'd vowed to respect that. Even though his feelings for her had only managed to increase since their kiss in the park.

She flashed a small smile his way, but it quickly disappeared as she looked down at her watch. "It's after nine already? Has the doctor shown up yet?" Emily got to her feet and headed toward the waiting room's exit.

"No, but the last time I looked in on Anna she was sleeping," Derek followed her. They moved down the brightly lit corridors of George Washington University Hospital. It was a different hospital than last time, but vaguely similar with its polished floors, white interiors and wood accents. "I didn't see the use in waking you until now, because I was hoping you'd get some rest, and your dad is still keeping an eye on Anna."

Emily wasn't sure how she felt about her father being with her sister. She was glad he seemed more interested in Anna than her mother, but Emily hated to admit it made her a little bit jealous. "I don't know how anyone can rest in a hospital," she breathed out. "I couldn't stop thinking about how I never should have left them last week. I knew she was upset about Margaret and my mother, and the stress of…"

"Hey," he reached out to place his hand against her wrist. "Anna is a grown woman who has taken care of herself for many years without your help. You leaving her alone for a few days is not why she's here right now. And that Sullivan guy Rossi and Reid spoke to claims the envelope was left on his door anonymously with a delivery address and cash payment, so we don't even know that it was Margaret."

"Please don't try to sugarcoat this, Morgan. Who else would want to hurt Anna or Michelle?" Emily asked. "People don't just send things like that without reason. And that Margaret woman is the most likely candidate we have right now. I should be doing something more to find her," she insisted. "I hate this… sitting around, not being able to protect Anna, just like the night she was taken."

Morgan sighed. "Emily, you were a baby that night. There was nothing you could have done," he tried to calm her, despite her protests. "You're going to drive yourself crazy if you stay on that path. I know, because I went over my father's death so many times wondering if there was something I could have done different," Derek shared that helpless feeling with her and saw her furry begin to settle a little. "I had to learn to stop living in the past, and so do you. Your sister is alive and here with you," he smiled. "Do you have any idea what I'd give to have my father back?"

"I'm sorry," Emily reached out to place a hand against his cheek, feeling compelled to lend some small comfort through her fingertips. "You're right. I am so happy to have Anna in my life, and that's why I'm so upset. I don't want to think about anything taking her away again."

"I can understand that," his hand reached up to wrap around hers. Derek brought it to his lips, softly kissing her palm. Their words had done a fairly good job at not crossing the bounds of friendship, but their actions spoke so much louder. He dropped her hand a second later, knowing he wouldn't be able to walk away so easily if he held on any longer. "You have done nothing but help Anna and Michelle," he assured her. "And I know you won't give up until this case is solved. I wouldn't expect anything less from you. But stop being so hard on yourself, okay?"

A smile formed as she nodded. "I'll try, but no promises," Emily replied. Her thoughts floated from one worry to the next in the blink of an eye as she checked her cell phone. "No messages," she noted. "I should call my mother. I never should have left Michelle alone with her. Maybe you should have stayed with her. Michelle isn't used to a lot of people, but she knows you."

"She knows your mother, too," Derek pointed out as he realized most of his previous words about not worrying had fallen on deaf ears. But he did his best to keep at her, no matter what. "Michelle will be fine. It might even be a good experience for both of them."

Her eyes rolled in a doubtful manner as they stopped just outside Anna's room. She really was trying not to worry, but the fact that the doctor had admitted Anna made her think it was more than just the flu or a stress thing. "Michelle is only eight and my mother probably doesn't even know how to…"

"Emily," he stopped her before she could launch off again. "If you don't relax you're going to end up in a bed next to your sister." He watched her nod and hoped his words were sinking in at last. "Somehow you managed to make it to adulthood, so I'm guessing your mother didn't do too badly," Derek grinned. "I mean, you're pretty high functioning, aside from knowing how to cook," he teased.

Another smile curled her lips and even made it to her eyes. It grew even brighter when a whirlwind of green cotton dress and pink sneakers collided with her, wrapping its arms around her waist. "Hey, kiddo," Emily greeted the child, kissing the top of her head. Michelle looked up at her with wide eyes. "You sure smell good, and your costume makeup is all cleaned off," Emily noted. "And someone braided your hair."

Michelle didn't let go of her aunt as she spoke. "I showered, but grandma did the braid and picked out my clothes. I like the green and pink together."

Elizabeth caught her daughter's surprised look. "I used to braid yours before you became so independent," she noted. There was a brief moment of silence between them that the ambassador quickly tried to cover. "I brought you a change of clothes," she presented a small duffle bag to Emily and then looked to Derek. "I would have brought you something as well," she addressed him. "But I didn't find any of your things at my daughter's place."

Emily was glad she'd swallowed her most recent gulp of coffee a few minutes ago; otherwise she was pretty sure the hot liquid would have been spit out upon hearing her mother's declaration. "Well, you wouldn't," Emily finally managed to say. "Because he doesn't live there."

"But surely he must stay there from time to time," Elizabeth maintained. "I'm not completely old-fashioned, Emily. I do know people who date sleep together."

"Mother!" Emily exclaimed, looking to Derek for some help. But he seemed rather amused by her mother's insinuations. "We're not dating."

The older woman's forehead knitted. "You're not? I'm sorry, I just assumed," she took a small breath. "I mean, three out of the last five times I've seen you this month he's been at your side. He's here right now looking like he spent the night with you," Elizabeth observed. "But I guess I should have known not to get my hopes up. You've never shown much interest in settling down, getting married, having kids…"

"Unbelievable," Emily shook her head. "Anna just spent most of the night in a hospital bed. You remember her, don't you mother? The daughter you haven't bothered to try talking to for over a week… yet you find the time to comment on my relationship status."

Derek's amusement quickly retreated as he listened to Emily's terse words. As much as he cared for the woman, he couldn't condone her constant need to provoke her mother. He stepped forward and extracted Michelle from Emily's waist. "Come on, sweetness, let's go see your mom," he took her hand and glared at Emily and her mother. "Maybe you two would like to join us if you can stow your stubborn egos long enough."

xxx

Anna opened her eyes and it took her a moment to remember where she was. She was exhausted, even after sleeping for several hours. But the man seated in the chair beside her made her smile despite her drained feeling. "Good morning, princess," his deep voice was hushed, like the tone of a man speaking to a small child. "I'm sorry, is it weird that I called you that?"

"No," she shook her head, not wanting to dissuade him. "I just never had anyone call me that before. Eric and I were never called nice things like that."

Joseph had only heard a little about Eric and the life he and Anna had endured. He tried not to dwell on that at the moment as he took her hand in his. "You were always my princess, and Emily was my little pumpkin," he explained. "After we lost you, pumpkin was about the only thing that remained of my connection to Emily," the last few words were spoken with regret. "Your mother and I were never the same, we both dove into our work and left Emily to nannies and… we fought a lot, or were just silent. Sometimes it didn't feel like much of a marriage, or a family."

"But you stayed together," Anna noted.

He nodded numbly. "I'm afraid a lot of it was for political reasons, to put on a show for the public. I mean, not that I don't love your mother very much, I always have and always will. It's just, the last forty years feel like we've been trying to stay afloat in quicksand, always desperately clawing for that next breath," he shook his head in shame as he gently stroked her hand. "I really shouldn't be telling you any of this."

"It sounds like you need to tell someone, and I'm here," Anna offered.

Their brief moment of bonding was ended by a small knock at the door. Just a second or two after that Michelle launched herself toward her mother's bed. She paid little mind to the fact that her mom might be injured and climbed atop the bed to snuggle up with her. Anna easily obliged the girl, glad to have her in her arms again. She'd never spent the night away from her child before. "I'm all right, my sweet baby," she whispered softly to the girl whose face was buried against her chest.

"Are you sure you're okay?" the question came from Emily who moved into the room behind Derek. Elizabeth stood just to the left of them, near the door.

Anna smiled reassuringly. "I feel much better this morning," she spoke up. "It is foolish to wait for this doctor and his blood test results. I was always good about making sure Michelle got to the free clinic in town and I took care of Eric when he was ill, but I often ignored myself in the process. I believe I've done that again these last few weeks. With the travel and worrying about Michelle and where we would go if the people at Quantico could not help us. I just need to rest now."

"I'm sure that's it," Joseph agreed.

Elizabeth finally stepped forward. She stood beside Anna for a long time, gazing down at her as the room turned deathly silent. After what seemed like an eternity she extended one hand to her daughter and brushed her fingers lightly against Anna's hair. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," she whispered.

The room's other occupants all seemed to release a collective breath, each of them understanding that the words carried a two-fold meaning.

"When Michelle was about two years old I went through this strange period where I would sit and watch her for nearly an hour after she'd fallen asleep," Anna revealed to her mother. "I wanted to remember every little detail about her so I'd never forget, the way I forgot my parents. I would trace all the lines in her fingers and study her eyelids and eye lashes. I somehow thought all those things would keep me close to her, but then I realized that I already had everything I needed to remember her. I had my love for her and that's something nothing, not time or faded memory, could ever steal."

Anna looked her mother in the eye. "Maybe your head gave up on finding me, because it had to preserve some type of life. But I'm willing to guess – I'm hoping – that your heart never gave up on me. Because, even though I could not remember your face or your voice… I've always loved you, mother."

"I've always loved you, too, Charlotte," the words rolled off Elizabeth's tongue with an ease she never could have imagined.

Tears stung Anna's eyes. She felt bad for what she was about to say, but it seemed necessary. "I'm sorry, but I don't know that name. Charlotte was the little girl you lost a long time ago. I am not that girl. I'm a grown woman who only knows the name Anna."

The ambassador's eyes circled the room and landed on her younger daughter for guidance. Emily caught the confusion on her mother's face and silently walked toward the bed. Michelle loosened her grip a little, but remained settled beside her mother as Emily sat down next to them. "You could have your name legally changed," Emily carefully broached the subject, trying to create some bridge between her sister and mother, the way Derek had suggested. "You could be Anna…"

"Prentiss," Anna was quick to make the offer. "I'd like to at least have that name," she let them all know.

"I have a friend, Judge Anderson, in the superior court," Elizabeth announced. "I'm sure he could run it through quickly for me," she offered, seeming more in control with a plan to implement. Seeing Anna's thankful smile loosened her heartstrings a little more and she moved to fetch the bag she'd brought for Emily. She plucked out the stuffed cat she'd been hanging on to earlier that morning and handed the item to her daughter, hoping it wouldn't seem a foolish thing to do.

Anna's smile remained a happy one as she fiddled with the cat's tutu and eyed her mother. "Are you the one who used to sing the French song, _Au Claire de la Lune_, to me when I was little?"

"No, that was your grandmother," Elizabeth replied.

"Mommy sings that song to me," Michelle joined their conversation. "She has a pretty voice."

Elizabeth actually cracked a smile at that. "I think the singing gene skipped my generation."

"So did the cooking gene," Emily added.

The room erupted into laughter. It was not the boisterous melody of a happy family with no cares in the world, but rather, it was the soft pulse of a healing family who finally believed the road ahead would be a little less painful. Anna watched her mother, father and sister, not quite believing that she'd actually found them. When their laughter died down, Anna asked a question about the doll in her arms. "Does she have a name?"

"She went without a name for many years," Elizabeth replied. "When Emily was born you were a little jealous at first, so we'd have a special reading time before bed, just the two of us at first. You loved when I read chapters from Alice in Wonderland," she explained, growing a little stronger in her renewed roll as a mother with each word she spoke. "You got it in your head that you wanted to name your ballerina after the Cheshire cat," she recalled. "You could only manage to say Chester, though. I suggested we name it Alice, but you insisted on Chester and it stuck."

"Hello, Chester," Michelle said to the stuffed cat as she pretended to shake hands with it.

Her innocent antics caused them all to enjoy another light moment until the doctor knocked and entered. This time it was Anna who searched the room and looked to Emily for some guidance. Emily squeezed her sister's hand and then shoed everyone out of the room, an action which incensed only one person. "I'm her mother, I have a right to know what's going on," Elizabeth protested.

"She's a grown woman, Liz," Joseph tried to pacify his wife.

Emily had Michelle firmly latched to her waist again and was trying to ignore her parents as she looked to Derek. "You should go home," she insisted. "Actually, I'm surprised my family hasn't sent you running by now," she chuckled dryly.

"I've faced a lot more frightening things than your mother's tongue," he replied. "I'd like to stay and make sure Anna's okay."

She smiled her thanks, one hand smoothing along Michelle's thick braid. The doctor exited Anna's room a few minutes later and spoke to no one in particular. "I signed her release papers; she's free to go now. I suggest she take it easy for a while." That was all he said before taking his leave of them.

"Doctor's," Elizabeth huffed. "Always in a big hurry," she complained, pushing open her daughter's door and going straight to the duffle bag. "I brought you some clean clothes along with Emily's things," she told Anna, taking charge. "You and Michelle will stay with your father and I," Elizabeth declared. "Both of you can have your own room. There's a cook so you don't have to worry about that. And my assistant can look after Michelle while you rest."

Anna stood beside the bed and took the clothes her mother offered, but her head shook. "I just want to go home," she said, looking to her parents and the others crowded in her room again. "I'm sorry I worried you all, and I promise to rest up, but I don't want to live with… servants. I like to cook my own meals. I like to take care of my daughter. And I feel at home at Emily's place."

Elizabeth pursed her lips and swallowed. "Well, then I guess… maybe your father and I can take you out to lunch someday this week," she edged toward the door. "And please don't worry about the hospital bills. We'll take care of everything," she insisted, turning to her husband. "Let's go."

A groan left Emily's throat when she was sure her parents were out of hearing range. "One step forward and two steps back," she lamented, rummaging through the bag to remove the rest of the clothes for her sister.

Derek silently led Michelle into the hall again, allowing Anna to change. "Was I too harsh?" Anna asked her sister when they were alone.

"No, harsh was when I told her she'd ruined my life by making me move to Italy my freshman year of high school," Emily replied. "And that I hated her and was never going to talk to her again as long as I lived. Although, there may have been times she wished I'd made good on that never speaking to her again promise."

"I just wish that I knew the right things to say to her," Anna said as she pulled on a pair of dark blue yoga pants.

"You and me both," Emily sighed.

xxx

A waning moon shown in the night sky as Emily sat curled up in a chair beside the large window that overlooked the Washington monument. The elegant stone prominence had often lent her strength, and it was almost starting to work its magic again when her doorbell chimed. Emily sighed, not wanting to answer it, but she also didn't want it to wake her sister or Michelle. She finally got up and trudged toward the door. Emily's conflicted mood brightened a little when she opened the door to him. "I thought you were finally going home."

Derek nodded. "I was about half way there when I saw this in my rearview mirror," he held up the ballerina doll that they'd learned was named Chester. "Anna must have forgotten when I drove you all home earlier. I wanted to return it."

"Anna is asleep," she took the doll as he stepped inside. Emily closed the door behind him and they remained standing in the entry hall. "Chester was a good way for my mother to finally open up to Anna, but I doubt my sister has much use for a doll."

"Maybe not," he agreed. "So, what are you still doing up? I figured you would have gone to sleep the second you got Michelle and Anna settled."

She sighed. "I tried, but I'm waiting for it to end first," Emily replied cryptically.

He voiced his obvious confusion. "What to end?"

"This month," she replied, leaning against the wall and cradling her sister's doll. "I'm waiting for the last few minutes to slip by," Emily explained, realizing it still wasn't much of an answer. "When my mother was talking about Alice in Wonderland earlier I realized that's what this month has been like; falling down a hole into some strange land where nothing feels quite right. I feel like the world has done nothing but shit on me these last few weeks."

"I think you may be exaggerating a little," he grinned, hoping to lighten her mood. "I know a lot of this month had been difficult, but I think Anna, Michelle and your mother making an effort at being civil is cause for celebration. And, for what it's worth, I would never shit on you," Derek let her know.

Emily couldn't help smile. "That might just be the most romantic thing a guy has said to me in… a really long time."

Derek smiled too. "I lied about the doll bringing me back here tonight. Actually, I came back to thank you."

"For what?" she asked.

"I know I said you owed me for last night's trick-or-treating, but I take it back. I'm grateful that you made a happy memory for me at that mall, where once there were only bad ones." Morgan glanced down at his watch and then held it up for her to see. "Midnight," he informed her. "It's over now."

"Like a magic spell in a fairytale," her voice took on a wistful tone that she rarely indulged. "Broken pumpkins, lost shoes," Emily chuckled nervously as she watched Derek cross the hall so he was standing right in front of her. His left hand rested against her shoulder and he leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss against her forehead. The warmth and comfort of his lips made her want to curl up in his arms. But he retreated a second later.

He brushed his fingers across her cheek, bringing finality to his visit. "Goodnight, Emily."

She tried to respond, but he was out the door before her senses reignited. Emily ran her fingertips across her forehead, unable to get the sensation of his kiss out of her head. Soft footfalls against her carpeted stairs alerted her that she wasn't the only one still rattling around. Her confusion over Derek was momentarily shelved, again, as she met Anna at the bottom of the stairs. "I thought you were asleep."

"I can barely keep my eyes open, but…" the older woman sunk down on the second to last step. "There's something I really need to tell you."

Emily sat down beside her sister, sensing that Anna was reluctant to speak up. "I've told you before, you can talk to me about anything," she offered. "What is it?"

Anna sighed. "I need to tell you the truth."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 8

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Dim light filled the large bedroom via a Tiffany lamp on the nightstand to the left of the bed, and a floor lamp standing sentry in one corner. Lace curtains covered a picture window, flanked by heavier velvet drapes. Everything about the room was luxurious, from the thick rugs to the oil paintings on the walls, which Emily knew to be originals. It was very much like most of the houses she'd grown up in, but she'd never been terribly fond of the heavy fabrics and ornate curios.

Emily glanced over at the person seated on the other side of the king-sized bed. "It's sort of like staying at a hotel," she commented, talking over the low sounds of the movie that was just starting on the wide screen TV across the room.

Anna smiled softly. "I've never stayed at a hotel."

It wasn't difficult to tell that her older sister was somewhat uncomfortable in the place, and Emily wondered if she'd made a mistake by accepting her mother's offer to spend Thanksgiving weekend at the house. But when she looked to Michelle, who was snuggled between them with a bowl of popcorn on her lap, Emily thought it was good for the girl. The child seemed to thrive on learning and loved exploring new places. Emily had taken her to several museums and art galleries in the past month.

"I'm sorry about dinner earlier," Emily spoke up again, hoping to engage her sister. "I honestly didn't know they were going to invite other people to our Thanksgiving meal, although the Baxter's are really nice. I first met them when I was ten and they were working with mother at the embassy in Germany. And I went to school for a few years with the Shultz' daughter."

"Yes, that came up at dinner," Anna reminded her sister. "And you do not need to apologize. You are always apologizing for things that you have no control over. It is not necessary," she insisted, reaching for Emily's hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "Besides, they were all very kind to me, and I think Michelle had a lovely time talking to them."

"But you didn't?" Emily asked.

Anna shrugged. "It was just very different from anything I have done before. I did not ever have friends other than Eric. We went to the library once a week and sometimes to a grocery store, but otherwise we were very isolated."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've always felt like the outsider in group situations," Emily conveyed. "I spent most of my childhood trying to make friends at all the new schools I attended," she explained. "But I always felt out of place."

The hold Anna had on her sister's hand tightened again. "I believe there is one place you fit in. At the BAU," she voiced.

Emily nodded. "I tried hard to fit in there at first, but I soon realized they didn't want me to be anything I wasn't. They accepted me for who I was," she smiled. "My team members are the closest friends I've ever had. They're great people."

"I could tell that the day I walked into your conference room," Anna smiled.

That smile made Emily happy. She hadn't seen Anna smile in a long time, though the last four weeks hadn't given them a lot to smile about. Emily squeezed Anna's hand in return. "I remember the first night you stayed at my place and you put a hand to my shoulder, reassuring me, when it should have been me doing that for you. At the time I thought it was a very motherly thing to do, but now I realize it was more like a big sister thing," Emily pointed out. "I'm so glad to have you here."

"I am glad to be here," Anna's smile deepened.

A soft creaking sound alerted them both to the room's door being pushed open. Emily and Anna each looked up to see their mother standing in the open doorway, hands at her side and seeming a little confused by the sight before her. "Didn't I give the three of you your own rooms to sleep in?" she asked.

Michelle, in all of her innocent glory, was the one to respond to her grandmother's query. "We're watching a movie," she pointed toward the television. "I've never seen a movie before. At Emily's house I watched something called cartoons. They're funny," she grinned.

Elizabeth's lips curled in an upward manner that almost revealed a smile. "What movie are you watching?" she asked, taking a few steps into the room, her silk pajamas swishing gently as she walked.

"_Sense and Sensibility_," Emily answered, intrigued by her mother's level of interest. "We thought it would be fun to introduce Michelle to some Austen."

The older woman nodded her approval, regarding the TV for a moment. "Ah, the Emma Thompson version," she noted. "I never have cared for that Hugh Grant fellow."

"Me neither," Emily replied. "But there is Alan Rickman to admire."

"Yes, I do like him," Elizabeth agreed.

"I have only read the book version," Anna bravely joined their discussion. She took a deep breath, glancing over at her sister for a quick dose of strength in dealing with their mother. "I read it several times, actually. They had videos at the library, but we never had a television to watch them on."

Their conversation died a little after that as Emily and Elizabeth were never sure what to say when Anna spoke of the way she'd lived for so many years. But Emily could see that her mother was still interested in what they were doing, and that Anna was desperately trying to forge a relationship with their mother. "Why don't you stay and watch with us," Emily blurted out the invitation to her mother, uncertain of the outcome.

"Oh… well…" Elizabeth was a little bit wary, but she saw both daughters and granddaughter looking to her with anticipation. "Maybe just for a short while," she finally agreed, moving toward a high-backed chair to the right of the bed.

Emily was relieved, but as she looked down at the bowl on Michelle's lap another idea formed. "You know," she called to her mother. "You're never going to get any popcorn sitting way over there and…" a nervous sigh escaped her lips. "This bed is plenty big enough for all of us."

Elizabeth turned her head to face the three of them, watching as they all scooted together to make room for her. She slowly rose from her chair and moved toward them, then she quickly sat down and swept her legs up atop the comforter, afraid if she didn't settle down promptly she might chicken out. "Well, then…" she looked to Michelle and held her right hand out. "May I have some popcorn now?"

Michelle smiled, handing over the bowl. Emily leaned to her right, whispering in Anna's ear. "I think a pod person has taken over our mother's body."

"Pod person?" Anna questioned the term.

"Right…" Emily chuckled softly. "Remind me to expose you to more pop-culture one of these days."

They all silently watched the movie for some time, tentatively testing out the newly forged bonds of family. Anna admired the acting and scenery, but had a small comment to make half-way through. "It is a lovely production, but I do not think Jane Austen's words come across quite right."

"Movies rarely hit the nail on the head," Emily shrugged, crunching on popcorn. "It's hard to fit all that literary genius into a two-hour blurb," she defended.

"Did you know Emily's middle name is Jane?" Elizabeth asked, actually looking to Anna as she spoke.

Anna's head shook. "Actually, I thought maybe you named us after the Bronte sisters."

Elizabeth's brows pulled together. "Do you know that I never even made that connection before," her head shook. "You were named after your grandmothers," she relayed to Anna. "That was mostly your father's decision. But I named Emily after two of my favorite writer's, Dickenson and Austen."

"I don't think you've ever told me that before," Emily realized.

"Who was I named after?" Michelle asked, not wanting to be left out.

"Your daddy named you," Anna replied, kissing her daughter's forehead. "He was not the avid reader that I was, but he loved music. The only piece of entertainment equipment we had was an old record player, and we often found records at the library. Eric fell in love with the Beatles and he would sing that song, _Michelle_, over and over to me. He liked that I knew what the French parts meant."

Both Emily and Elizabeth were glad to finally hear a happy memory from Anna's life. They let that heal their hearts a little as they continued watching the movie.

When Emily woke up hours later she was surprised to find herself still in her sister's bed. Her memories of the previous night were a bit jumbled. The recollection of her father finding the four of them in the bed and snapping a picture had only served to reinforce her belief that pod people had taken over the roles of her parents. What she couldn't remember was seeing the end of the movie, which would explain how she'd never made it back to her own bed.

Emily was about to close her eyes again, hoping a few more hours of sleep would be hers to enjoy, but she noticed Michelle was curled up beside her, and Anna was nowhere to be seen. She sat up, not surprised to find her mother gone. Emily reluctantly got out of bed, leaving the warm comforter behind. She gently tucked it around Michelle and left the lights off as she crept toward the bathroom.

She found Anna seated on the tile floor between the toilet and bathtub, her back against the wall, head lolling to one side, eyes wide open. Worry washed over Emily upon witnessing the difficult scene. The stench in the room roiled her stomach, but she quickly snapped to action. Emily grabbed a washcloth and wet it then she flushed the toilet and went to her sister, planting her butt on the cool tile beside her. She let Anna's head rest against her shoulder as she washed her sister's face. "I'm sorry," Emily whispered. "I should have known all of this would be too much for you."

"There you go again, apologizing for things you cannot control," Anna replied, her voice soft and weary. "I felt fine most of this week and I wanted to come," she insisted. "I wanted to be here, to please our parents; allow them to show us off. I believe that made them very happy. And then last night, our mother sitting on that bed with us, and watching a movie with us…"

A small smile broke through Emily's concern for her sister. "That was priceless, for sure," she agreed. Her thoughts turned dower again as she worried about what her parents would think when they learned the truth. "We should tell them what's going on."

"No," Anna's tone was forceful even in her weakened state. "I cannot do that to them. They have been through too much already. I did not even want to put this on you, Emily. I feel horrible about it, but I did not know who else to relay on."

"You can put anything on me that you'd like," Emily insisted. "I can handle it. I want to make everything right for you."

The older woman closed her eyes. "I know you do, my dear sister. But that may not be possible."

xxx

A harsh frost the week after Thanksgiving had frightened the remaining leaves off the tress in the park. Derek thought the bare oak branches looked a little lonely without them, but he knew the foliage would be reborn again in the spring, just like it always was. As Morgan glanced over at the woman jogging beside him, he hoped for a similar rebirth to occur in their relationship, which had turned frosty several weeks ago. But he hoped for it to happen much sooner than spring.

"I'll be in Chicago next weekend for my mom's birthday," Derek spoke the first words said between them since they'd started their run fifteen minutes ago. "She looks forward to it every year, so do I. It's sort of all our holidays wrapped up in one."

"That will be nice for you and your… sisters," Emily gulped down a lump in her throat as she veered off toward their sit-up spot.

Morgan caught the odd inflection in her voice at the mention of his sisters, but he wasn't sure what to make of it. He wasn't sure what was going on with his friend because she'd been avoiding him for weeks. "Emily, the ground is frozen. You don't want to lay on that. I don't even want to lay on that," he was rarely the one to deter the sit-up portion of their workout, but so far their exercise regime had been conducted in warmer months.

She shrugged indifferently, rubbing her hands together to stave off the cold. "If you don't want to do sit-ups then I should be getting home," Emily started off again.

"Home?" he jogged after her. "We've barely broke a sweat here."

"I just don't want to leave Anna and Michelle for too long," she let him know.

"Is that why you haven't been out in the field with us on the last several cases?" he tried to lightly broach the subject. "Hotch told me you put in a request for desk work, indefinitely," Derek pushed a little more. "He asked me if I knew what was going on, but I didn't have any insight to give him. Maybe because you've barely talked to me these last six weeks," he noticed she wasn't keen on saying anything at the moment either. "Is that because of what happened on Halloween? I'm sorry if that kiss crossed our friendship line, but it didn't feel like a deal breaker to me; just a friendly kiss."

Her head shook. "This isn't about Halloween," she dismissed, launching off on a grand explanation. "My mother pushed through Anna's name change like she promised, and two weeks ago we got Michelle's official birth certificate so she took the standardized testing required for St. Ann's Academy. She scored very well, actually at a fourth grade level, but the school still wants to place her in third due to her age and the fact that she's never been in a real school environment before. But she needs a general physical, some immunization updates and current dental records. And there are uniform clothes to be ordered. There's just a lot to be organized and they can't admit her until after the first of the year so I want to be around for her."

Derek frowned at the lengthy, yet flimsy, list of excuses. "She has a mother to take care of those things, Emily. And you've left Anna and Michelle before, so why are you so skittish about doing it now? Is it because of Anna's trip to the hospital, because I thought that turned out to be nothing? Or is it still about Margaret?" he felt a bit like he was interrogating a suspect, which didn't sit well with him. But something wasn't right and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

"I just feel like I really need to do this for them. You know Anna's not comfortable dealing with people like that, and I missed out on forty years of having my sister in my life… I don't want to miss any more," she replied.

Her last few words stuck uncomfortably in his chest. He decided to try another tactic, revealing something he'd learned via a second party. "Does any of this have to do with the money you've been withdrawing from your trust fund account?"

"What the hell, Morgan?" she snapped, stopped dead in her tracks to stare at him like he'd just slapped her. "How do you even know about that account?"

He took a deep breath and exhaled, watching the white vapor float upwards in the chilly air. "When I thought Anna might be trying to get money out of you I went to Garcia for help. She said she has all of our accounts monitored by some sort of cyber watchdog on steroids," Derek shook his head, getting back on point. "Garcia told me she never sees numbers, but the recent withdrawals had her worried so she mentioned them to me."

She sighed, stuffing her hands in the front pouch of her sweatshirt. "That money has been rattling around in there for a long time. My grandfather on my dad's side was very well-to-do and I, being his only grandchild, was a major benefactor when he died. Since Anna is also rightfully his granddaughter I decided to use some of it for Michelle's school, because Anna's too proud to ask our parents for help."

Morgan took another breath before letting her know everything he knew. "Does this private school cost a hundred thousand dollars a year?"

Emily's stomach dropped. "I thought you said Garcia didn't see numbers."

"I was worried Margaret Wilson might have been the one tapping into your funds, or that maybe she'd even been in contact with you and wanted money in exchange for leaving Anna and Michelle alone, which is why I asked Garcia for physical numbers this time," he confessed, not afraid of what she might fire back with. "That's a hell of a lot of money, Emily. So, do you want to tell me what's really going on?"

Most of the color drained from her already pale cheeks as she wandered off the trail and found an oak tree to lean against. She watched Morgan follow her over, standing right in front of her. Emily couldn't stand the concern she saw in his eyes, knowing she'd been withholding the truth from him. "She's sick."

A shiver ran down Morgan's spine, and he knew it wasn't from the early December temperatures. He had a fairly good idea who she was referring to. "Anna?"

She nodded, feeling the damn begin to break. "It's… she's really sick, Derek."

"Hey," seeing actual tears streak down her face let him know just how serious it really was. He placed both hands on her shoulders. "Talk to me, please."

The few tears were quickly sniffed down as she began. "In medical jargon it's referred to as AML; Acute myeloid leukemia. I don't even know what… I've been reading about it and, I still don't…" she took a shallow breath. "The money was taken out to pay for her chemotherapy. She went through one round that first week after Halloween. The results weren't very good so she did another round this last week. She goes in on Monday to see if it worked any better."

He had absolutely no idea what to say to her, but words somehow formed despite that fact. "And you've had that weighing on you all this time."

Emily sighed and nodded. "The first treatments made her pretty sick, even several weeks afterwards. And this week has been pretty horrible. But that's not what gets to me the most." Her emotions swung more toward anger as she looked him in the eye. "I just can't stop thinking about… about Eric. Anna said that it was a tumor that took him and Margaret Wilson's family owns that plastics manufacturing plant, and now this. It's a proven fact that benzene and other chemicals have led to certain kinds of cancers and…"

"Damn it," he shook his head, falling into the same thought process as her.

"What the hell did they do to them, Derek?" Emily's voice broke. "What did they do!" she screamed her question to the sky, causing a few birds in the tree above them to take wing. "If I ever… _ever_ get my hands on that Margaret woman I swear to God I will..."

At that moment, Derek didn't give a damn about worrying if he was crossing a friendship line with her. He wrapped his arms around her and was glad when she dropped her defenses long enough to let him in. "I am so sorry you've been dealing with all of this on your own. You know you have friends to lean on, right? Anyone on the team, Garcia, JJ, Reid… they would all be there for you in the blink of an eye," he assured her. "So would I." He exhaled, pulling out of their embrace. "And so would your parents," Morgan watched her look away at the mention of her parents. "But I'm guessing they don't know about this either."

She shook her head. "Anna doesn't want to worry them. She's afraid they'll be upset, or that it will push them away, especially after all the progress we've made. I mean, my mother actually sat down and watched a movie with us on Thanksgiving. She's never done that with me before. I think they've both been afraid to be parents, because they blame themselves for Anna's kidnapping. But her being back, it's like we're all whole again. And Anna made me promise not to tell them."

"I get that, I do," he nodded, unsure if he could burden his mother with the horrible news of one of his sisters having cancer. "But I also see that promise is eating you up inside. Because it feels like a lie, doesn't it? Kinda like the lie in which they never told you about Anna," he pointed out. "They have a right to know, Emily. And they might even surprise you. If they've come this far already then maybe Anna's illness will bring you all even closer."

"How can you be so optimistic?"

"How can you not?" he countered. "Anna and Michelle coming into your life has reunited your family, Emily. You said so yourself. So you should be fighting to keep it that way, just like I've seen you fight for complete strangers' families before."

Emily couldn't pinpoint the moment when she'd come to depend on him so much. It had been a gradual thing, and something she still fought against some days. "I learned at a pretty young age how to rely on myself," she revealed. "Moving around all the time, my parents doing their own thing… I became my own best friend, knew how to take care of myself. It's hard for me to ask for help, about anything, from anyone," Emily admitted.

"Well, we can work on that," his offer was genuine. Derek waved a hand toward the trail. "Come on. If you want to go home, we can go."

"Actually," she gnawed nervously on her bottom lip. "Anna and Michelle have my cell phone number if they need me. And I could use some coffee."

He smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Emily confirmed. "It might be nice to have coffee with you somewhere outside of a hospital for a change."

Derek was delighted by the prospect. "Then let's go get some coffee," he agreed.

xxx

He stared out his mother's window, trying to remember the days when he'd been a carefree kid without worries. Derek wasn't sure there had ever been such a time in his life. He instinctively reached for his cell phone and scrolled through the pictures in search of the one that always brightened his mood. It had been one week since Emily unburdened herself to him, a week in which Anna's test results had come back revealing the chemo hadn't helped much more in its second round. Emily had made some progress, though, slowly opening up to the team about what was going on. And he knew that she and Anna would be telling their parents everything this weekend.

Derek turned when he heard the kitchen door swing open. He stowed his cell phone and smiled as his mother brought out two more slices of cake. His sisters had both gone home, but the evening was still young, plenty of time to continue the celebrations with his mother. "Are you having a good birthday, mama?"

"One of the best," she smiled, taking a seat on her sofa and luring him over with the cake. When he sat and took his plate, Fran grasped his free hand. "I'm probably the only woman in the world who wishes her birthday came around more than once a year, because I love seeing you, baby. I don't get to spend enough time with you."

Morgan kissed her hand and then stuck his fork in the chocolate cake. He was about to take a bite when an idea struck him. "Why don't you rectify that? I'll send you a ticket and you can fly out for Christmas in a few weeks. Spend it in DC with me this year," he suggested. "The girls can come too, or you can be apart from them for one Christmas if they can't swing it. What do you say?"

"I say I'm intrigued," Fran cocked her head slightly to one side. "You've never invited me out there before. Is this Christmas special for some reason?

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, stuffing a bite of cake in his mouth.

Fran took a bite too, and they chewed for a moment. "It means is that I'm curious if this invitation has anything to do with Emily?"

"Why would you ask that?" Derek played with his cake, feeling a little uncomfortable by the way she'd read him so easily.

"As long as I've known you I've never seen you stare at a picture of a woman every ten minutes the way you've been looking at that picture on your cell phone all day, and yesterday." She noticed the surprised look on his face. "I haven't been able to get a very close look at it, because you always stash it away every time I come into the room, but I've seen enough to recognize her. She came to the house to talk to us when you were in that trouble a few years ago."

Derek nodded as he sat his cake down on the coffee table and pulled his cell phone out. He brought up the picture in question and handed it over to his mother. "The little one in the middle there is Emily's niece, Michelle," he pointed out.

"And what is on your faces?" his mother asked.

"We were cats for Halloween."

"Halloween?" Fran grinned. "Well, this is more serious than I thought." She saw him flash a questioning glance her way. "Don't think I don't know things about you, Derek Morgan. Evan as a boy you were never very fond of Halloween, because it was always the closest holiday to your father's death," her eyes darkened from painful memories. "I remember that first year after he passed, you said people shouldn't go around dressed in bloody clothes pretending they were dead. I know it upset you."

He tried to shrug off her comments, but she was right. She really did know him well. "Cats are pretty cute, though," he gazed down at the picture again. "And Michelle is a real sweetheart. You'd like her."

"And will I like Emily when I see her at Christmas?" Fran inquired. "She seemed nice enough when we spoke a few years ago, but that situation was difficult. I wasn't exactly sussing her out as potential daughter-in-law material."

Morgan shook his head at her comment. "You're getting way ahead of yourself there. Emily and I are just good friends," he told her, but that word friend seemed forced any more. He knew he wanted it to be more and he felt Emily might want that too, if not for everything going on in her life at the moment. He pocketed the phone again and snatched up his cake. "So, does that mean you'll come?"

Fran nodded. "I'd love to."

Derek grinned. "Then yes, mama," he finally answered. "I think you'll like her."

xxx

Emily cleared away the empty dinner plates from her small table. The five of them had managed to squeeze around it for the meal Anna had insisted on cooking. It had been one of the good days in which the chemo hadn't completely laid her out. Those were hit and miss, never knowing when she would end up running for the bathroom or be unable to get out of bed. Emily could still see the weary signs of the treatment on her sister's face, but she'd done her best with makeup and a scarf wrapped around Anna's thinning hair to try and hide it from their parents for a little longer.

"Would anyone like coffee?" Emily asked from the kitchen, watching as her parents moved to take seats on the living room sofa. They both agreed to the offer and she went about fixing it, noticing that Anna was speaking softly to Michelle. When the girl took to the stairs, Anna joined her in the kitchen.

"I told Michelle she could watch that Looney Tunes video in your room so we can… do this," Anna sighed.

She took her sister's hand. "It's the right thing," Emily assured her.

A half hour later, after sipping hot coffee and a smattering of small talk, Elizabeth and Joseph Prentiss sat on the sofa with empty coffee mugs in hand and a shell-shocked demeanor. Emily and Anna sat across from them in arm chairs, neither of them knowing what more could be said or explained. It was sort of like a Norman Rockwell painting that had been slashed by an angry knife, the blade dripping bloody remains of the happiness that had finally begun to infuse their lives.

"Cancer?" Joe was finally the first to speak. "Well, you're young and strong," he said with a bit more punch. His eyes locked with Anna's and he smiled for her. "And you've survived so much more than…" his voice quaked and he stopped himself.

"The chemotherapy, the doctors believe this is the best course of action?" Elizabeth took up, one hand having migrated to her husband's knee.

Emily didn't think she'd even seen such an outright display of affection between her parents. "Yes, they're being very aggressive with it," she answered for her sister, who seemed unable to form words at the moment. She knew Anna was worried about her parent's reaction, but so far they seemed to be taking it well, maybe too well.

"That's good," Elizabeth replied. "And what about Michelle? How is she handling all of this?"

"She doesn't know much," again it was Emily who spoke up. "I found a daycare that takes older children during after-school hours. It's actually a good way to get her introduced to something similar to a school setting, being around other kids," she explained. "So far we've been able to schedule Anna's treatments around the time when Michelle can be there. And I've arranged my work schedule so I'm always there with Anna."

"Well, you don't have to worry about any of that anymore," Elizabeth quickly jumped in. "Your father and I can take Anna to whatever doctor's appointments she needs, and Michelle can stay with us whenever it's necessary," she paused, seeing her daughters looking uncomfortable by her suggestions. "I mean… if that's something you'd like. I'll be officially retired soon and I could help out."

"Retired?" Emily wasn't sure which fact to be more shocked by, her mother actually retiring or her offer to help out.

The older woman nodded. "It's been inevitable for a while now, and I've never really been there for my family before. Better late than never, right?"

Her words seemed a trifle blasé, but Anna and Emily could both see that their mother was searching for a sign of acceptance from them. "I would still like Michelle and me to stay with Emily," Anna let her know. "But your help would be greatly appreciated," she extended the olive branch as far as she felt comfortable.

Elizabeth and Joe agreed to the terms and then made a hasty exit. Emily was concerned about their reactions, but she didn't have time to dwell on it. "I guess that was the easy part," Emily sighed, getting up to call her niece down.

A few minutes later Anna and Emily had migrated to the sofa as Michelle rejoined them. The girl sat down between them and snuggled up with her mother. Anna kissed her daughter's cheek. "There is something very important we need to tell you, sweetheart. I have been sick lately, which you may have noticed?"

"Yes," the girl answered.

"I have cancer," Anna forged ahead, finding it easier to talk to her daughter. "And I have been having treatments that make me even sicker, but the doctor's are trying to help me get better," she relayed, smoothing a hand down Michelle's thick braid of hair as she explained the rest of it to her child. "Do you understand?"

Michelle shrugged. "You're going to be all right, aren't you?" her eyes flicked back and forth between her mother and her aunt. "Emily promised," the girl said after not receiving any kind of answer straight away. She stared intently at Emily. "You said you'd make sure mommy never left me the way daddy did."

It felt like someone had a hand squeezed around her heart as Emily recalled that moment. "Yes, I did say that, chaton," she gently spoke. "But I…" Emily sighed, realization slowly sinking in. "I didn't know that was what you meant."

"But you'll keep your promise," Michelle was confident as she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. "Emily won't let anything bad happen to you," she whispered.

Anna swallowed and patted her daughter's back. "You should go and get your pajamas on, and brush your teeth. I will be up soon."

Emily received a quick hug from the girl and then watched her race up the stairs. When Michelle was out of sight, her eyes turned to Anna. "You knew, didn't you? You knew you were sick before you ever showed up here."

"Yes," there was nothing else Anna could say but the truth.

"So…" Emily bit down on her lip. "What has all of this been for you, some sort of joke? You show up and say hey, I'm your long lost daughter and your sister, but I'm dying and I only came here to drop my kid in your lap." She took a quick breath. "Did you ever really want to know us?

"Emily, you are upset."

"Damn right I am."

Anna sighed. "When I traveled here my only thoughts were of Michelle, because I knew I wouldn't be able to take care of her for much longer. And when you wanted us to come home with you I was hesitant, because I… I didn't want to become attached to anyone here. I just wanted Michelle to be taken care of. I never expected to find my parents or a sister, and if you think this is easy for me…" she shook her head. "You have no idea how hard this is for me."

She felt bad for having gotten so upset, knowing it had never been Anna's intent to hurt her or her parents. Emily did her best to redirect her anger into something positive, drawing on Morgan's strength even from a distance. "A good friend recently told me that family is something worth fighting for."

"I've spent my whole life fighting to stay alive," Anna said with regret. "I don't know that I have anything left in me."

Emily's hand went to her sister's shoulder. "Then I guess it's my turn to reassure you, because I'm not giving up without a fight."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 9

By N. J. Borba

* * *

The last place Emily imagined herself being on Christmas Eve was at a mall. She was not a last minute shopper; in fact she usually didn't have much to buy aside from a few items for her co-works plus Jack and Henry, all of which had already been bought and exchanged at the office holiday party the day before. Her parents were usually off traveling during the holidays, so they'd typically have a meal out together some time after the New Year to acknowledge one another's existence, but there were rarely gifts involved any more. That had changed, though, with the reintroduction of Anna into their lives.

A day of pampering at the mall's ritzy salon had been their mother's gift to Anna, Emily and Michelle. Even JJ and Garcia had been included in the special treat, although Elizabeth Prentiss herself had declined to join them. As Emily gazed at the staggering array of nail colors before her, she kept repeating her one step forward and two steps back mantra, because she knew the news of Anna's illness had hit her mother harder than the woman would admit. Elizabeth had been doing her best; being hands-on in a physical manner, but she also managed to keep her distance emotionally.

"I want this one, please," Michelle picked out a color for her nails. "Tiger lily," she read the bottom of the bottle and showed her mother.

"That is very… orange," Anna stated the obvious.

Michelle nodded. "I like it."

"Green tea is definitely the one for me," Garcia quipped, snatching up the medium-toned green polish. "What about you, JJ?"

The media liaison pondered her decision a little longer. "I'm leaning toward Plum pearl," she announced.

Penelope nodded her red-headed approval. "I know I'm not the profiler in this group, but do you suppose the color of nail polish you chose has anything to say about your personality?" she asked. "Because my polish choices change with my mood, or sometimes to match an outfit. Does that mean I have a scattered mind?"

"I wouldn't even touch that one if I _was_ a profiler," JJ grinned, shaking her head at the colorful woman. She glanced over to regard the rather quiet Prentiss sisters, who had both yet to pick a color. "So, what's it going to be ladies?" she prompted.

Emily plucked a deep shade of red off the tray and tipped it over. "Scarlet."

"Oh! Green and red," Garcia held hers out to Emily's and clinked the bottles like wine glasses. "We make a very festive pair," she grinned.

Anna watched the others interact and felt rather out of place even after all their efforts to make her feel like a part of the group. Her eight year old daughter seemed more able to fit in than she did. There were still so many concepts about the world at large that just didn't make sense to her, which she often felt silly for voicing. But Anna made an extra effort this time. "Why exactly do you put color on your nails?" she asked.

The room grew silent for a beat, but Emily was quick to rescue her sister. "Supposedly it dates back as far as the Egyptians who used color on their nails to represent social status," she relayed, not remembering if she'd once read that somewhere, or if it had come from Reid's font of knowledge during a case. "But these days it's pretty much just for fun, to feel girly," she explained, hoping to put Anna at ease. "All you have to do is pick one that you like."

A few moments later, Anna finally dropped her guard long enough to decide upon a soft pink hue that caught her eye. "Raspberry sparkle."

Emily and the others didn't make a big deal out of her choice, doing their best to simply treat Anna like one of their gang, even though the lingering effects of her treatments were still present at every moment. Even makeup and scarves could barely hide the tired lines beneath Anna's eyes and the tufts of hair that remained on her head. They went two at a time having their nails painted, starting with Michelle and Emily.

Garcia quickly gave up on the celebrity magazine in her lap. "So, did you both enjoy the BAU holiday party?" she asked, aiming the question toward Michelle and Anna who'd been Emily's guests at the gathering.

"I liked playing with Jack," Michelle replied. "We met on Halloween and he was nice to me. He didn't say I was weird for not knowing about all the different kinds of candy and stuff. And yesterday he showed me his daddy's office. We pretended we were the good guys catching the bad guys," she rambled on.

"And you, Anna?" Penelope pressed.

The woman in question looked to her sister for a moment, not wanting to disappoint her. "It was nice," Anna forced a small smile as she said the words. "I am just not used to being around so many people like that. I am afraid I stayed to myself most of the time," she admitted.

"I thought I saw you talking to Rossi for a while," Emily recalled.

"Rossi?" Anna questioned the name for a moment. "Oh, you mean David. Yes, he was very kind to speak with me," a more genuine smile formed as she spoke of the man in question. "He is polite and very smart, also quite handsome," her hands went to her mouth a second later, feeling foolish for having let that last comment slip.

Emily stared at Anna for a long time, felling about as shocked as her sister looked. Garcia and JJ both arched curious brows but they silently waited for further information. "I… suppose," the younger sister wasn't exactly sure what to say. "I've never really looked at him that way, though."

"Do you look at Derek that way?" Anna boldly asked; dropping her hands back to her lap and shedding some of her inhibition around Emily's friends.

"Morgan and I are just very good friends," Emily was quick to clarify, glancing down at the vibrantly painted nails of her left hand.

The three other women all cast doubtful looks in Emily's direction, but only Anna was brave enough to say something more on the subject matter. "And you always seem to refer to him by his last name when you are trying to avoid talking about the deeper emotional connection between the two of you, which is obviously present."

Emily mashed her lips together. "I'm not sure I like being called out like this. Who knew older sisters were so perceptive."

"Oh, please," JJ chuckled, feeling safer about adding her opinion to the mix since Anna had brought up the subject. "You really don't have to be an older sister to pick up on that one," she noted.

"Yeah, didn't I tell you all this a few months ago?" Penelope added. "Still playing it smart, I gather?"

Anna found herself relaxing even further as she playfully joined their prodding of her sister. "Pray tell, Emily… do you highly esteem him?" she laughed.

"I'm glad you're all having fun," Emily groaned, though she found it sweet that her sister was quoting from the movie they'd watched on Thanksgiving. And hearing Anna laugh was worth the cost of being teased, though she still felt it necessary to play her part. "Ganging up on me like that, it's not very nice," she leaned over to gently nudge Michelle's arm. "You're on my side, aren't you, chaton?"

"About what?" the girl asked, most of their conversation having gone over her head.

"About me and Derek," Emily informed her.

Michelle's smile could have lit a whole house with its brightness. "I like Derek a lot. I think he should be your boyfriend."

"The vote now stands at four-to-one," Penelope grinned.

"No," Emily shook her head, thinking it had gone far enough. "There will be no voting about my love life, thank you. This is not a democracy; I rule my own life."

JJ still wasn't buying it. "And how's that monarchy working out for you?" she asked.

"How come no one is bugging Anna about thinking Rossi is handsome?" Emily tried her best to cast the conversation back onto her sister's shoulders.

"What is there to bug her about?" Garcia questioned. "She spoke the truth, where as you dance all around it," she stated with conviction. "Not that my chocolate stud is much better at admitting the truth about his attraction to you. I swear, sometimes I wish real life worked like those sappy romance novels, because I'd be all for stranding you two in a cabin and making you confront your feelings for one another."

Penelope and JJ turned off their teasing rather abruptly when Emily didn't dignify the cabin stranding scenario with a response of words, or even a dirty look. Anna watched her sister stewing as the rest of them had their turn at having their nails painted. She realized they'd come down a bit hard on her, which made Anna's diversionary tactics take hold. She'd often tried to divert Margaret and Eli from their hateful moods over the years. Most of the time it hadn't worked, but she'd always been persistent. "I would like to have my hair done," she announced.

Anna didn't wait for any of them to respond to the odd proclamation before she plunked herself down in one of the styling chairs. A young blonde woman came to tend her right away. "What sort of cut would you like?" her cheerful demeanor diminished when Anna removed her scarf and revealed the patchy landscape of her skull.

"I would like you to shave the rest of it off," Anna spoke as nonchalantly as possible.

Emily's stomach twisted into a knot as she listened and watched her sister. The stylist was still starring, mouth agape, at Anna. "I believe she asked for a haircut," Emily prodded the woman to life. "And we've been given free reign here, haven't we?" she'd always hated the way her mother pushed their wealth and status around, but Emily was in defensive mode, trying to spare her sister any more pain or ridicule in life.

"Yes, ma'am," the woman finally snapped into action, grabbing clippers that they rarely used in the woman's salon.

JJ, Garcia and Michelle gathered around, quietly lending their support as the remainders of Anna's brown hair fell to the floor. "It will grow back, mommy," Michelle assured her. "Can I get mine shaved, too? I want to look just like you."

"No," Anna was quick to dissuade her daughter. "You are not cutting your hair. I will not allow it. You have such beautiful hair and cutting it…" she ran her hand down Michelle's long, dark braid. "She never let mine grow past my shoulders," her words were barely a whisper as childhood memories flooded back. Anna caught her sister's eye through the salon mirror and they both knew who the _she_ was that Anna spoke of without saying it aloud. "She said it was so boys would not look at me, so I would be too ugly for them to want to admire me when we were out in public," Anna swallowed hard.

"What that woman told you about cutting your hair and being ugly, they were just ugly words from a hateful person," Emily stood beside her sister, one hand on Anna's shoulder in a compassionate stance. "It was just like all the other things she said to you, she did it to make herself feel better. And Eric loved you, didn't he?" Emily reminded her sister. "I know he did, because I've read every word in that journal of his. He loved you very much, just the way you were," she assured.

Anna nodded, looking at her bare head in the mirror. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek. "It is just hair, right?"

"Exactly," Emily agreed with a sympathetic smile.

They all grew quiet again for a few seconds until JJ spoke up. "You know what?" Her tone was chipper as she tried to brush away the sadness that had befallen their holiday outing. "I've been meaning to get my hair cut for a while." She flopped herself down in the chair beside Anna and the stylist stepped over, looking a little wary of her next assignment. JJ grasped two handfuls of her long, golden hair and held it up to her shoulders. "Right about there would be good."

Just an hour later the five of them gathered around the mall Santa to have their picture taken. Anna modestly kept her bald head wrapped in a scarf while the others all proudly sported their new shoulder-length hair cuts. Even Michelle had finally been allowed to cut hers to that point, and they all flashed the camera confident, radiant smiles. After the shot was taken they were allowed to see the digital proof and each of them ordered a copy as a keepsake of their day.

As they exited the Santa photo booth, Michelle noticed something. Most of the trees around Santa's workshop were decorated with lights and ornaments, but one tree only had a handful of paper tags tied to it. "What are those for?" the girl asked.

"That's a gift tree," Penelope was the one to explain. "The tags list different toys that you can buy for a child who won't have anything for Christmas. Usually they stop taking donations a week or so before Christmas, but this one still looks active."

"Yes, ma'am, it's still active," a young man announced, coming around the tree to greet them. He was wearing a uniform and a friendly smile. "This tree is being manned by the Boy Scouts of America and we have volunteers staying late tonight to make sure the gifts get to where they need to be by morning. Sort of like Santa's elves, you could say," he grinned broader. "We figured there are so many people doing last minute shopping, why not keep the gift tree going as long as possible."

Michelle looked to her mother and Emily. "Can we do that; buy a toy for one of those kids?"

"Sure we can," Emily agreed, directing her niece to pick one of the tags.

Assignment in hand, they'd barely taken three steps down the mall when Emily felt her whole body prickle with goose bumps. She instinctively looked up and spotted someone on the second story catwalk starring down at them. The woman was older, mid-sixties, gray hair and green eyes. Emily froze for a moment, realization dawning. Then she sprang into action, turning toward one of her friends. "Penelope, I need you to stay here by the Santa shop with Anna and Michelle."

"Why?" Garcia asked, confused by the sudden change in plans and the guarded demeanor of her friend.

"Just stay here and do not leave for any reason, not until you see me again," Emily sternly instructed as she motioned for JJ to follow her.

When they were halfway up the stairs that led to the catwalk, weaving through a sea of people, JJ finally spoke. "What's going on?" She could tell by the look on Emily's face and the determination in her stride that it probably wasn't anything good.

"I saw her."

"Who?" JJ was still just as confused as she'd been a second ago.

"Margaret Wilson," Emily finally revealed as they made their way to the center of the catwalk. "She was here," her hands grasped the handrail and looked down to the spot where Garcia, her sister and niece were still huddled by the Boy Scout. Her head turned right and then left, scanning both directions. "She can't have gotten far in this crowd," Emily said, waving JJ off. "You go right. I'll take the left. Stay close to the railing and search the bottom floor as well," she called out as they split up.

Emily's heart raced as she searched the mall, head turning every direction it could as she walked along the upper floor. Every few minutes she'd spot JJ on the other side and watch as the woman shook her head. They were only about half way through the building when Emily started to think her efforts were futile. There were hundreds of people and numerous exit points. As she reached the end of the mall, most of her adrenaline had been expelled. "Maybe it wasn't her I saw," she said to JJ as they descended on an escalator, planning to do a better search of the bottom floor on their way back.

"What _did_ you see?" JJ prodded for more of an explanation.

"A woman who looked a lot like that image of Margaret Wilson that Garcia showed us. The green eyes I saw, they were like Michelle's eyes staring down at me," Emily sighed. "She was considerably older, but…" a sigh escaped, accompanied by doubt. "Maybe I just saw what I wanted to see; what I hoped to see."

JJ walked beside her friend for a short time before saying anything more. "I trust your word and your instincts better than most. If you saw her, I believe you."

"Thanks, JJ," Emily was extremely grateful to all of her co-workers for the support they'd lent the last several months. "I just… I wonder if maybe I want this so bad I'm making myself imagine things that aren't really there. I can't seem to do a damn thing to help Anna get better, I can't heal her. So, I want to find this Margaret woman and eliminate that threat hanging over her head." She turned to JJ. "Is that silly?"

The blonde shook her short hair. "Not at all," she replied. They explored one of the larger woman's restroom facilities, but there was still no sign of Margaret. JJ drew Emily into the small lounge area off the restroom. "You have done so much for your sister," she insisted. "I still wish there'd been something I could have done for my sister, but…" JJ took a deep breath. She'd only ever told Hotch about her sister's death. "But by the time I knew anything was wrong, it was too late. She took her own life and I'll probably never know why. But you got your sister back, and you've been there for her at every turn so far. I think that's all she really needs."

Words weren't needed for Emily to convey how much JJ had just helped her, only a thankful hug.

xxx

It wasn't hard to understand her sister's aversion to having servants do things for her. Emily had never been terribly fond of the concept herself, which was why she'd insisted that her parent's small staff take the day off. It was Christmas after all. That's how she came to be the one answering the door and greeting Derek and his mother. She quickly ushered them inside the warm house since the weather was bitter cold outside.

Derek barely had both feet inside when he sniffed the air. "Do I smell pancakes?"

"You must have pancake radar or something," Emily shook her head, though she smiled the whole time as she took their coats.

His brows arched a little. "Just out of curiosity, did you make these pancakes or…"

Her head shook again, this time to indicate that she hadn't been the one responsible for their upcoming holiday brunch. "No, Anna insisted on making the pancakes this morning," she revealed.

"Good," he released a sigh of relief.

Her eyes narrowed at his response. "What was that?"

"I mean," he cleared his throat. "It's too bad you didn't try your hand at making pancakes again."

She rolled her eyes, knowing for a fact that wasn't what he'd been thinking at all. But her attention finally fell upon his mother, realizing she hadn't been a very good hostess so far. "Mrs. Morgan, I'm so glad you could join us. I hope my parent's invitation didn't interrupt anything you and Derek had planned this morning."

'Not at all," Fran replied, taking Emily's hand. "I'm happy to get to see you again under better circumstances, but if you call me Mrs. Morgan again things may get ugly," the older woman warned in a jovial manner. "It's just Fran," she insisted. "Now, point me toward the kitchen so I can help out."

Emily shook her head a third time since they'd arrived. "No, please, you're our guests."

"Guests?" Fran waved a hand in the air as if to dismiss the comment as being foolish. "The way my son goes on about you I'd say we're practically family. Besides, I love to cook and I don't expect any special treatment here. So, the direction of the kitchen?" she asked again.

Morgan grinned as Emily caught his eye, obviously hoping for some help. "You might as well save her some trouble, because if you don't tell her she'll just search the whole place until she finds it," he advised.

"In that case… it's through the parlor and to your right," Emily heeded his warning. She then opened the hall closet and hung their coats.

As soon as his mother was out of sight, Derek stepped into the space that he would have called a living room. It was decorated richly, much the same as her mother's office had been. "The parlor?" he questioned in a slightly mocking tone as he eyed Emily. "You really grew up in places like this?"

She nodded as they walked toward the evergreen tree in the corner of the room that had mostly been decorated by herself and Michelle the night before. "Does that make you think less of me?"

"Nah," he turned toward her. "I always knew there was a bit of princess lurking under that tough crime-fighter façade."

Emily didn't let his comment get under her skin. "Did you and your mom have a good Christmas Eve?" she asked, hoping to move the conversation somewhere else, because she'd never been terribly comfortable about people's reaction to her wealthy background.

"We did," he smiled. Derek loved his sisters dearly, but it was kind of nice having his mother all to himself for a few days. "She ended up dragging me to several Smithsonian venues, the Natural History Museum, American History Museum…" he listed a few others. "I honestly didn't even know those places were open on Christmas Eve. It was fun, though. I haven't done that circuit since I moved here," Derek trailed off as he studied her.

She consciously fiddled with her shorter hair, noticing his blatant stare. "You don't like it?"

He reached out to move her hand away so he could properly admire the look. "Actually, it reminds me of when we first met," Derek replied, recalling an instant attraction to her as they'd shaken hands that day. "But what I like even more is that you did it for Anna." He watched the inquisitive gaze she cast his direction. "Garcia called me last night," Morgan revealed. "She was worried about you and what happened at the mall."

A furtive glance was thrown over her shoulder before her eyes aimed his way again. "I'd prefer not to talk about that right now," Emily conveyed. "My parents don't know what happened and I'd like to keep it that way, at least until after Christmas."

"Understood," Derek agreed as he returned his attention to the tree and fingered a paper star ornament that was covered in glitter. He flipped it over and chuckled softly at the name written messily on the back.

"I was only five years old," Emily stopped him before he could make a snide remark about her lackluster arts and crafts abilities. "Michelle found that in an old box. I'm surprised my parents kept it all these years."

He turned to look her in the eye as his hand reached out to caress her wrist. "They kept it because they love you, Emily."

Her bottom lip bore the brunt of her nervousness as she tried to pull away. "Maybe we should go help in the kitchen," she suggested.

Derek knew she was trying to avoid getting any closer to him, but he didn't feel like abiding her every whim anymore. Their coffee dates the last few weeks had turned into an everyday occurrence, even if it was only for a few minutes in his office. And he didn't have any plans to move backwards, only forward. He fully grasped her hand as she tried to walk away. "I think it would probably be best for everyone if the two of us stayed far away from the kitchen," he voiced, gently lacing his fingers through hers and keeping her beside him. "Besides, I'd like to hear more about this star you made."

xxx

Emily re-entered the parlor after having used the bathroom. She found that Derek and his mother were still hanging out with her family nearly three hours past the end of the brunch meal to which they'd been invited. When Fran approached her, Emily grew apologetic. "You two should really be going," she told the woman. "I don't want us to keep you from whatever Christmas celebrations you have planned. You're supposed to be here visiting with Derek."

Fran smiled as she glanced over to see her son seated on the sofa with Anna and Michelle, entertaining them with some sort of animated story. Her eyes reverted back to Emily as she spoke. "Actually, the main reason for my visit was to spend time getting to know you," she revealed.

"Me?"

The older woman nodded, still smiling. "Perhaps it has escaped your attention, but my son is rather smitten with you, Emily."

"Smitten?" Emily was taken aback by Fran's forwardness. Her parents rarely did anything quite so obvious. "I'm sure you must be mistaken. Derek and I are only…"

"Friends?" Fran supplied the last word. "Yes," she chuckled. "He has said the same thing about you. But I think I know my son better than almost anyone. And I have never known him to be so enraptured by a woman. He even showed me the picture of you on Halloween. How you ever roped him into that I'm sure I'll never know, but I thought I should get to know that woman a little better."

Emily was still fairly speechless as she had trouble taking her eyes off of Derek. Eventually her gaze swung around to observe the others in the room. "I'm actually surprised the two of you didn't run out of here hours ago," Emily finally replied. "It's almost as if our families are from two different worlds."

"My dear, I am about as white as a woman can get and I married a black man in a time when those things were hardly accepted," Fran responded. "We were about as far away as two worlds can get, but we loved one another and we made it work. But I won't stand by and listen to you talk about your family being superior to ours because of monetary reasons. I certainly thought you were different than that."

"That's not what I meant at all," Emily felt mortified as she quickly tried to smooth things over. "I was just…" she pointed toward the others. "Look at Derek over there sitting with Michelle curled up on his lap. He's been attempting to engage my parents in the conversation for nearly twenty minutes, but my parents are sitting clear across the room in separate chairs, stiff as can be, barely responsive. We really don't communicate very well in this family. And we're not very close. Not like you and Derek and your daughters are."

The older woman put a hand to Emily's forearm. "I am truly sorry that I thought you meant…" she sighed, not feeling it necessary to rehash that whole bit of their conversation. "You and your sister seem very close."

That brought a happy smile to Emily's face. "Anna and I clicked from the start, before we even knew we were related. Sometimes it feels like we grew up together, like we've always been sisters. But my parents continue to keep their distance. You'd think after forty years they'd be elated to see her, but… I don't know."

"First of all, you and Anna _have_ always been sisters," Fran pointed out. "And it's wonderful that you've become so close. Secondly, I can't honestly say what your parents are feeling, because I can't imagine going through what they're going through. But my guess is that because you didn't have any prior knowledge of Anna's existence, you didn't have any expectations for what your relationship was supposed to be. But your parents," Fran's heart went out to them. "They still see that little girl who they had hopes and dreams for, but they never got to see those dreams realized."

Emily's smile was bittersweet. "The way you just explained it makes perfect sense," she agreed. "Derek takes after you in that way, always getting straight to the heart of the matter. That's one thing I love about him…"

Fran grinned, seeing the way the younger woman had blushed upon uttering the word love in regard to Derek. "Come on," she took Emily by the arm. "If you'll have us, I'd like to stay a little longer," Fran said as they joined the others. "In fact, I believe it's time for gifts."

"No gifts," Emily protested. "We weren't supposed to do gifts."

"Well, while Derek and you were cleaning up after brunch I snuck a few things under the tree," Fran revealed. She retrieved a gold and red box and presented the gift to Anna. "First one goes to the special guest of honor this year."

"You should not have done this," Anna replied, the box lying untouched on her lap.

"Please, open it," Fran insisted.

With permission, Anna did as instructed and marveled at the blue knitted hat she pulled from the box. "This is too lovely; you should not have spent money on me."

"No money was spent," Derek's mother replied. "My daughter's buy me yarn for almost every birthday and holiday. I had this lovely aqua cashmere just waiting to be made into something special, so it really only coast me a few beads of sweat. Please, try it on," she insisted.

Anna's hands hovered at the sides of her head as she nervously contemplated removing her scarf. Much to everyone's surprise, it was Elizabeth who came to her daughter's rescue. She carefully removed the scarf and barely batted an eye when she positioned the blue hat on Anna's bare head. "It looks beautiful," she whispered.

Within minutes Fran had distributed the rest of her gifts, which included hand knit mittens for Michelle, scarves for Emily and Elizabeth and socks for the guys. "Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but the hat for Anna was the only one I made specifically for her. I knit a bunch of these things over the year's time and then give them to local homeless shelters. But I picked these items out for each of you. I hope you'll enjoy them."

Emily gave Derek's mother a hug. "Thank you," she whispered, wishing it was her own mother she could so easily embrace.

Derek playfully wore one sock on his left hand and made it talk like a puppet, much to Michelle's delight. "Since mama broke the no gifts rule, I guess it's safe to give ours," he looked to Anna who nodded her agreement.

"It's that green envelope there," Anna pointed out the object under the tree.

Morgan retrieved it and handed it to Emily. "Merry Christmas."

She felt a little guilty as she carefully opened the item, having strictly obeyed the agreed upon no-gifts rule. Emily pulled out the paper items inside and studied them for a moment. "Plane tickets?" she examined them a little more closely. "Three tickets to Los Angeles over New Year's weekend?"

"One for you, one for Michelle and one for Derek," Anna explained. "The trip was my idea."

"And we paid for it," Joseph added.

Emily eyed Derek. "And your part in all of this?" she questioned.

"Well, your sister said she wouldn't let Michelle travel clear across the country without both of us being with her," he explained while motioning Michelle over. "This gift is for you too, sweetness," he relayed. "And do you know why we're going to California?"

Michelle's head shook. "Why?"

"Sea World," it was Anna who replied, delighting in the wide-eyed look on her daughter's face as the girl came to sit beside her again. "A special park where you will get to see all sorts of sea animals like penguins, polar bears, sharks and dolphins," she watched Michelle's eyes grow even wider, but knew the best part was yet to come. "And you will see beluga and orca whales."

"A whale?" Michelle's voice was a barely constrained yelp of excitement. "I get to see a real balene?" When Anna nodded, the girl wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. "Thank you mommy, this is the best gift." She then went to give each of her grandparents an equally exuberant thank you hug.

Emily was still a little confused by the trip details, but she didn't have a chance to ask more about it when Derek and his mother finally decided to leave. She led Fran to the door and they stood in the entry hall as Derek finished saying his goodbye to Michelle, who seemed reluctant to let him go. "From what all I saw today, especially just now with that gift Anna and your parents gave you, I think your family is trying, Emily," Fran told the woman as she gave her a farewell hug.

Grateful for those confident words, Emily was actually sad to say goodbye. "I hope I get to see you again sooner than a few years from now."

"Count on it," Fran replied as she took the coat Derek brought her when he finally made it to the door. She looked from Emily to her son, a smile crinkling the fine lines of her face. "I'll be waiting in the car."

Morgan watched his mother walk to the vehicle parked in the driveway, glad that a line of trees hid her from their view. He pulled on his leather jacket and closed the front door a little so the people inside wouldn't see him and Emily. Then he drew her close and kissed her on the lips without warning, his hands snaking around her waist. They moved to caress the fine hairs at the base of her neck as he deepened their kiss.

He stepped back and grinned at the dumbfound look on her face. "Merry Christmas, Emily."

xxx

"Are you ever planning to stop smiling?" Anna asked as they arrived outside the door to her sister's place.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Emily made a conscious effort to make her face as neutral as possible, but she found it rather difficult after the knee-buckling kiss Derek had given her hours ago. She wasn't sure how one rather ordinary day could change so many things, but Emily certainly felt her self-control slipping where Derek Morgan was concerned. "It's Christmas; can't I be happy on Christmas?"

Emily knew it hadn't been just one day, though. It had been the last two weeks of coffee dates and long conversations about her sister's illness. It had been the last few months since her life had flipped on its side, throwing a sister and niece into her lap. It had been the last seven months since they'd started working out together, triggering his healing process over what had occurred with Ellie. And truthfully, it had been the last five years as they'd slowly become much more than just friends.

Anna smiled but she didn't bother saying anything else on the matter as she escorted her very sleepy daughter upstairs. Emily was glad to be alone with her thoughts for a while, but as she closed and locked her door she realized she was standing on something other than the tile of her floor. She bent down to pick up the small white envelope. Emily cautiously opened the item, but found a holiday card inside and figured a neighbor must have shoved it under the door.

But she knew it wasn't from any neighbor the second a picture greeted her on the inside of the card. It was a 4x6 snapshot of her, Anna and Michelle in the mall on Christmas Eve. And there was an obvious, thickly drawn, red X over Anna's face with two words written beside her, which Emily whispered aloud.

"Tick Tock."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 10

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Emily felt like her life was a rollercoaster ride, always up and down with very little lag time in between. The last two days since Christmas had been a pretty low spot as she'd reluctantly revealed to her parents and sister that she believed Margaret Wilson was definitely alive. Now, as her co-workers filed into the conference room, she felt unworthy of their support. But Hotch had insisted on calling the meeting despite the fact they were meant to be on holiday leave until after the New Year.

As Rossi entered he seemed to be amazingly upbeat, considering he was usually the most likely to lament about spending too much time with the group. He stood in front of the round table for a moment, his eyes moving slowly from the blonde woman to the brunette and lastly to the red-head. "Was there a three for one special on that haircut? Or did you all start your own private club?" he asked.

Everyone chuckled lightly at the man's joke, except for Emily who thought it might take an act of congress to ever get a smile on her face again. She waited as they finally settled down before relaying the latest information on Margaret. JJ jumped in a few times, recalling their search of the mall on Christmas Eve. And Garcia went third, relaying her account of the investigation she'd done on the photo and card Emily had received Christmas Day.

"I wasn't able to send it to the lab, since apparently some people actually do take days off for the holidays," Garcia began. "But my layperson's examination is that this photo was printed on photo paper, the kind you buy at any retail store. Probably a cheapo ink jet printer was used, because there are lines toward one end of the photo where the colors sort of fade out, definitely a DIY project."

"DIY?" it was Reid who didn't understand the acronym.

"Do it yourself," Penelope supplied.

Dave silently tapped one side of his ceramic coffee mug, not nearly as cheerful as he'd been a few minutes ago. "Which means she probably has some sort of residence in the area, probably more than a hotel if she's going to this much trouble," Rossi voiced his opinion.

"What about the security cameras in Emily's building?" Hotch asked. "Did they pick up anything?"

"Front door camera only got the back of her head as she was talking to someone else," Penelope replied.

"My neighbor, Mrs. Reiner, asked me yesterday if I'd gotten the card she slipped under my door," Emily finally spoke up. "She said some nice lady approached her outside, claimed to be the mother of an old college friend of mine and that she'd forgotten my unit number and wanted to be sure I got her Christmas card."

Derek was upset by that information. "Doesn't your building have pretty strict rules governing privacy? Your neighbor had no right to pass that card along to you."

"It's not a prison, Morgan," Emily actually relaxed a little on the defensive. "I've done a bit of socializing to cultivate a relationship with the people in the units around me. Mrs. Reiner simply believed she was doing me a favor; neighbors helping neighbors. Most of the world still believes in doing good deeds."

"And she was able to give Emily a pretty good description of the woman," Garcia piped up again. "Which I added to Emily's recollection of the woman at the mall, and matched it all up with an age rendering of Margaret Wilson. We believe she looks something like this," the tech passed around copies of the digital image she'd created.

"We need to get this on the street," Derek insisted.

"I'll contact area police," JJ agreed.

Hotch nodded his agreement to their plan, even though they technically didn't have reason to bring the woman in. He sat back, regarding the team. "Do we think she'll make any kind of move to hurt Anna?" he finally posed the hard questions. "Or Michelle?"

Reid sat forward a little as he spoke. "We're pretty sure Margaret is the one responsible for shooting her ex-husband all those years ago, but maybe she was coerced by her partner. From everything Anna has told us about the woman, Margaret seems more like the subservient partner to Eli's dominant personality. Anna said she always watched them, but never mentions specific tortures perpetrated by the woman."

"She doesn't ever come out and say what Eli did to her either," Derek noted. He turned his attention to Emily. "Unless she's told you anything more?"

Her head shook. "No, nothing. She's only really mentioned that Margaret kept her hair cut short, and that she said a lot of hateful things to her. The pictures are rather voyeuristic. It's been a couple months since the last ones, and no other sort of contact has been made. And this latest one," Emily reached for the photograph and stared at Anna's obscured face. "Tick tock… it's almost as if she's waiting."

"For what?" Rossi asked.

A worried sigh escaped Emily's lips. "For Anna to die."

The room was quiet for a moment, but their resident genius broke through it. "If she knew Eric died from a tumor and she knows Anna is sick as well, maybe Emily's right and she is hoping for Anna to die," Reid spoke the words, though he felt horrible for saying them in his friend's presence. "Maybe it's some sort of unfinished business she has, needing to see Anna's death through."

"Why?" Hotch inquired.

"If it was something she and Eli planned, to eventually kill Eric and Anna, then she feels the need to make sure that plan is successful," Reid offered up.

Derek frowned, thinking it didn't make much sense. "But they let them live into adulthood. Why would they wait so long to want them dead?"

"I think we've all come to the conclusion that Eric and Anna both having these serious illnesses isn't exactly coincidence," Rossi voiced. "They probably just didn't want their deaths to be considered unnatural."

"I'm inclined to agree with Dave, but it's really hard to be sure. There are still too many unknowns," Hotch admitted, due to the fact that they knew so little about the two UnSubs. "Garcia, try to find out if there's any way Margaret could have gained access to Anna's medicals records, or any information on Michelle such as the school she'll be attending. I know you've been keeping close tabs on this stuff already, just be hyper vigilant," he implored. His gaze then settled on Emily. "I wish we had more to go on at this point. But other than Garcia's searches and getting that picture out, I don't know that there's anything else we can do."

Emily nodded, understanding that her boss was already doing more than was probably called for under the circumstances. She stayed in her seat as the others trickled out, aside from Derek who remained as well. "I don't think we should go on this…"

"No," he stopped her from finishing, pretty sure he knew what she was about to say. "We _are_ going on this trip," Morgan countered.

"You want me to fly clear across the country and leave Anna here alone?"

"Anna agreed to stay with your parents while we're gone," he reminded her.

She knew he'd have an answer for everything she shot at him. "Why did you and Anna plot this trip for Sea World in San Diego anyhow? Isn't there one of those in Florida? That's at least in the same time zone. And why are we flying to Los Angeles and driving down?"

Derek sat back in his chair. "That was supposed to be a surprise, but since you need some incentive… I thought we could drive down to San Diego, because I invited someone else to go to Sea World with us," he revealed.

"Someone else?" she held her hands out, palms up in a questioning gesture. "You wanna be a little bit more vague?"

"I asked Ellie to join us," Morgan revealed. "And I know you might think that I've been too close to her with the texting and all that, but she's seemed a little down lately. It's her first holiday without her dad and her aunt, and trying to adjust to the new foster home. And I thought maybe Michelle could use a friend on the trip, since I already have a friend coming along." He grinned, arching his brows in a playful manner.

Their relationship had definitely shifted on Christmas day after the visit with his mother, and their kiss. But Emily still didn't exactly know what kind of shift it had been. "You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"You need a vacation, Emily. That's why Anna wanted to do this for you," he stood his ground.

"Hmm, that and getting me trapped in a metaphorical cabin with you," Emily mumbled under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing," she quickly covered.

Morgan got to his feet and grabbed his things. "Come on, Emily. Let's put all our worries aside for a few days and have some fun," he insisted.

"I'm not sure how much fun I can have while chaperoning eight and nine year old girls at a kid's theme park," she was still trying to avoid the whole thing, using a slightly different tactic than before.

Derek still wasn't going to let her weasel her way out. "It's not just for kids, Em. It will be fun, and you could use the opportunity to act childish for a change. Because you've been far too serious and worried the last few months," he stated as she stood and they moved toward the room's exit. "So, have I convinced you yet?"

She shrugged, still somewhat noncommittal. "I suppose it would be cruel to disappoint Ellie and Michelle. And it will be warmer there than it is here."

His face lit with a smile. "Now you're getting into the spirit," he said, gently nudging her arm as they descended the stairs into the bullpen.

xxx

Her slightly brighter spirit about the whole trip began to wan a little bit after two hours into their packed cross-country flight. Emily was squeezed into the middle seat with Michelle to her right near the window and Derek to her left on the aisle. "Remind me again why my parents, who always fly first class, decided to get us coach tickets for this trip," she looked to Derek for an answer.

He felt bad, seeing that she was a bit uncomfortable. "That was actually your sister's doing. Anna wanted Michelle to experience life as most people do, kind of the way she's so opposed to having servants around while at your parents place."

"Yeah, I got an ear full from my mother about that," Emily did her best to recline in the seat. "Apparently Anna demanded that the servants take a hike again as long as she was staying there," she recalled the conversation, once again being a conduit between her sister and mother. She took a deep breath, resigned to the fact that she didn't have to worry about any of that for three days. Emily glanced over at Morgan again. "And remind me again why you got the aisle seat, Michelle got a window and I'm stuck in the middle. I thought this was more my gift than yours. Aren't you just a chaperone?"

"Well, if you want your chaperone able to walk and drive you around this weekend, you'll be happy to let him have the aisle seat," Morgan grinned. "I don't think I could get my legs squeezed in there if I tried," he remarked, already having his legs hanging out in the aisle some, which had not amused the flight attendants. Derek motioned his head toward Michelle, who had barely looked away from the window the whole flight so far. "And a first flight definitely deserves a good view."

She couldn't disagree there. Emily had always loved flying as a child, and it seemed her niece was no different. Michelle had her doll in her lap and her nose pressed against the window, even though all there was to see at the moment were endless miles of cumulous clouds. The weather had been snowy and cold when they'd left, but at 35,000 feet there were no storms, just clear sailing so far.

"You okay?" Emily asked the girl. "You'll let me know if you feel sick at all, right."

Michelle briefly turned away from the cloudy landscape. "I'm fine," she assured her aunt. "I can't wait to see California and all the fish and the whales. I still can't believe I get to see whales. This will be the most fun I've ever had," Michelle proclaimed. "At least without my mom or dad," she quickly amended, though even those words were spoken without a hint of melancholy to her tone.

Emily smiled to hear the girl was so excited. She didn't complain for the rest of the flight knowing Michelle was happy.

Several hours later Derek steered their rental car through the streets of LA. Due to the time difference from east to west coast, it was still fairly early in the day. Single story Ranch style houses lined the roads as he turned left and then right at a stop light. The area was dominated by palm trees and sunshine, even at the end of December, with the temperature predicted to top out at seventy degrees for the winter day. It was a welcome change for the east coast dwellers.

"I think this is it," Emily pointed out a tan stucco rambler. "205 Trenton," she read Ellie's address off the GPS to double check. Then she looked over to see Derek take a deep breath, his face seeming calm but worried. He pulled to the curb and Emily knew he was reliving the events that had occurred that terrible night in May. She put a hand to his forearm and smiled reassuringly. "You'll be fine. Ellie agreed to the trip, so she obviously wants to see you."

"Right," he nodded, putting the vehicle in park and removing his belt. "Do you think I should go by myself or should we all?"

Emily undid her belt. "I'd like to meet the Marshal's in person, and I think proper introductions would be best considering we're taking Ellie for the next few days."

Derek saw her point and he exited the SUV, walking around to open the side door for Michelle. "You ready, sweetness?"

Michelle grasped her doll as she jumped down with a little help from Morgan. "Yes," she replied, always seeming up for a new adventure. She certainly wasn't the shy wallflower that her mother was. In fact, Derek thought he saw a lot of Emily's spirit in the girl.

The three of them traipsed up the stone path to the front door and Derek rang the bell while Emily and Michelle stood back a little, not wanting to bombard the foster family or Ellie. A dark-haired woman in her late thirties answered and smiled her hello before ever speaking. "You must be Derek Morgan," she extended a hand. "I'm Beth Marshal," they shook briefly before she motioned them all inside.

Further introductions were made inside and a man entered the living area where they'd been gathered by Beth. "Dan Marshal," he said, shaking hands with Derek and then Emily. "And this little one must be your daughter?" the man looked to Michelle.

"No, my niece," Emily explained.

"Sorry, my mistake," Dan apologized. "Why don't you all have a seat? Ellie is just grabbing her bag. She'll be out in a minute." He guided them toward the sectional in the living room, which was neutral colored and comfy.

Emily thought the whole house seemed cozy, and clean. She couldn't help herself from inspecting the place for any signs that Beth and Dan were neglectful or the type of people to harm Ellie in any manner. She couldn't tell much from the tidy house, though, so she resorted to questions. "Is Ellie your only foster child?"

"First, and only so far," Dan replied as he launched off into a history lesson. "Beth and I met in school and married right after graduation. We both had careers right out of the gate, but we also knew we wanted a family."

"Unfortunately my body had other plans and carrying a child just wasn't a possibility," Beth joined in. "We looked into adopting a baby, but it's rather expensive. We make decent money and probably could have afforded it, but after a lot of soul searching we decided that helping older children was how we wanted to contribute our parenting urges to the world."

"We'd barely put in for fostering when Ellie's story hit the news," Dan took over again. "I thought Beth was going to head out right then and snatch Ellie up and bring her home. Amazingly enough, four months after Ellie's ordeal, and two placements in other homes, we were contacted about taking her in."

Morgan wasn't sure what to make of the couple. They seemed nice enough and he'd done the background checks, which had come up squeaky clean. But his papa-bear instincts were telling him not to let up just yet. "And Ellie has been happy here?" He watched Beth and Dan exchange a look that worried him. "Something you want to share?" Derek prodded.

Beth sighed, fiddling with her hands a little as she spoke. "Honestly, Ellie has been a dream to have around. She cleans up after herself and gets herself ready for school without a fuss, she's quiet…" the woman paused. "Sometimes I fear she's too quiet. She'll respond when we ask a question about how school was or if she'd like something from the grocery store, but she doesn't really talk to us."

"I don't think Beth or I really understood just how hurt and confused a foster child might be," Dan openly admitted his ignorance. "We adore Ellie, and we've put in for adoption. But we're worried that maybe that's not what she wants. And we don't want to push her, so when this trip offer came up, Beth and I both thought it might be good for Ellie to get away, have some space from us and think things over."

"The last thing we want is for her to feel pressured into staying with us," Beth added.

Emily wanted to say something reassuring to them, sensing that they truly were good people with their hearts in the right place. But Ellie entered the room, ending that bit of their conversation. "Hi, Derek," the girl smiled softly, her lips barely upturned. She stood by the sofa, bag in hand, not making a move toward Morgan.

He made the first move, getting to his feet and walking toward her. "Hi, kiddo," Derek greeted. Then he simply extended one hand to her and she folded into his welcome embrace. Morgan closed his eyes for a second, seeing Spicer's face again and hearing the man beg him to take care of his daughter. He pulled out of the hug and took a step back to look her over. "Your hair looks cute," he commented, noticing that it had grown out a great deal, though it still hit just above her shoulders.

"Thanks," Ellie's smile grew a bit wider.

"I think you might remember Emily," Morgan said as he waved a hand to indicate his friend. Ellie nodded and smiled up at the woman. "And this is Emily's niece, and also one of my favorite people, Michelle," he said as the younger girl came to stand beside him.

"Hello," Michelle greeted, still clutching her doll tightly. "It's nice to meet you."

Ellie responded again with just a soft smile. "Well, we should really be hitting the road," Derek suddenly felt the need to get moving.

Dan and Beth were agreeable as they said goodbye to Ellie and promised to call every night to check on her.

xxx

"How old are you?" Michelle asked Ellie as the two of them sat in the back of the SUV Derek had rented. The older girl didn't respond, but that didn't seem to daunt Michelle. "You're older than me, I bet. I'm only eight years old, but I'll be nine pretty soon. And I'll be starting third grade on Monday. I only have to do a half year, but I'm looking forward to it. I've never been to a real school before. Do you like school, Ellie?"

Again Michelle's question went unanswered, but she persisted a little while longer. "Derek said your daddy died. I'm sorry about that. My daddy died too, about a year and a half ago. I still miss him a lot, and now my mom is really sick. I'm afraid she might die too."

Emily couldn't help overhear the conversation in the back seat; the very one-sided conversation. She glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Ellie staring out the side window. Michelle had finally given up on the conversation and was fussing with her doll a bit. Emily sighed, wondering if taking Ellie along with them had been a good idea after all. "Both of them are breaking my heart back there," she spoke softly for Derek's ears only.

Derek watched the girls in the mirror as well and sighed. "Mine too," he replied.

The drive to San Diego wasn't too bad, traffic was heavy but it moved along at a decent pace. The girls remained fairly quiet the rest of the way and when they arrived at the hotel, Emily agreed to bunk with the girls while Derek had his own room which adjoined theirs. After dinner and a good night's sleep, the two adults managed to rouse the girls early for showers and breakfast and they were at the park when it opened at 9am.

People were crowded all around the place, which was open longer hours for the holiday season. Emily had a feeling she was more overwhelmed by the park than either of the girls or Derek. She hadn't been to many theme or amusement parks in her life. Her parents had always preferred the more docile and educational choices of theater, museums and art galleries when it came to entertainment. But she didn't have time to retreat, because Derek and Michelle drug her to every exhibit and ride they could find. Emily noticed that Ellie was mostly along for the ride as well, not seeming eager to take an active role in what they were doing.

As they sat down to eat lunch, Emily finally decided to ask the older girl what she wanted to do. "You get to choose what we do next. What will it be?"

Ellie shrugged and was quiet for a minute, but finally said something very softly. "The shark encounter."

"You want to see some sharks?" Derek was grateful to Emily for getting the girl involved. "That sounds like a good idea," he agreed.

The shark encounter turned out to be quite mesmerizing as the four of them walked through a tunnel that ran underwater. Sharks of all sizes swam along beside them and above. Their constant sinuous motions were both beautiful and somewhat haunting. Ellie seemed to the most enthralled as she stood with her face practically pressed against the thick glass, staring out into the water. Derek, Emily and Michelle left her to it for a long time before Derek grew a bit worried. When he placed a hand against her shoulder, Ellie turned to look at him with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, kiddo, what's wrong?" he asked, squatting down to eye level with her.

"My dad always liked the sharks best," Ellie sniffed, trying not to let them all see her crying.

Morgan's heart went out to the child as he guessed something. "Did your dad bring you here?" he asked.

She nodded. "He brought me here every year on my birthday." The girl brushed away another stray tear. "I turned ten two weeks ago," Ellie told him.

"I'm so sorry, baby girl. I didn't realize," Derek gently rubbed her back.

"It's okay," the girl replied. "I like it here; I just didn't think it would make me so sad. But I don't want to leave." She looked over her shoulder to where Emily and Michelle where standing and watching the sharks, trying not overhear the private conversation. "Michelle really wants to see the Shamu show, and I think she'll love it. We shouldn't disappoint her," Ellie concluded.

Derek stood and ran his hand along the girl's silky hair. "You've got a good heart, kiddo," he said as they rejoined the others.

The killer whale show was something they all agreed to be one of the highlights of their day as they finally, and in Michelle's case, reluctantly, left the park at closing time. All told they'd spent the better part of twelve hours at the park, touching and feeding dolphins, gazing at nearly every fish known to man, laughing at the flamingos and the jump roping dog, stuffing themselves on junk food and getting splashed by a few water rides. The girls were so tired by the time they got back to the hotel that they were in pajamas, teeth brushed and asleep within fifteen minutes.

Emily was pretty well exhausted, too, as she knocked softly on Derek's door, dressed in her turquoise silk pajama top and shorts, which were usually reserved for spring and summer back east. He invited her in with a single, slightly muffled, word. "Enter." She pushed open the door and walked toward the king sized bed where he was propped up by pillows, wearing only a pair of dark blue cotton pajama pants and flipping through a magazine.

"Do you ever think about the meaning of life?" she asked, standing beside his bed.

The magazine fell to his lap as he stared up at her with inquisitive eyes. "Is this some kind of a trick question?"

"No, I'm being serious," Emily cautiously sat down on the edge of his bed. "I feel like I spend a lot of time trying to figure life out. And the job… well, that really doesn't help much, because I can't imagine what the point of living is when it can all be taken away in the blink of an eye. Kind of like Anna being kidnapped. Her loss destroyed my family. It's never been the same, and probably never will be. And I just don't understand why we…"

"Hey," Derek stopped her as he tossed the magazine across the bed and reached for her hand. He carefully weaved his fingers through her. "Did you have fun today?"

She was a little curious about the sudden change in subject, but she nodded and enjoyed the warmth of his palm against hers. "I had a really great time."

"Then there's your answer right there, your meaning of life."

"To have fun?"

His head gave a very slight nod. "Sort of. I think the meaning of life is to have fun when you get the opportunity, and to deal with all that other stuff when you have to. It's about finding balance," he relayed, squeezing her hand.

An appreciative smile reddened her cheeks as Emily felt herself relax. "How'd you get so smart?"

"I have an amazing mother," he was quick to give the woman credit. "She explained all that balance stuff a long time ago."

"And you're just now sharing it with me?" she feigned being upset.

Derek gently tugged at her hand in an attempt to get her closer. "I don't think the timing was ever right before," he said. Morgan smiled softly, noticing that Emily was still rooted to the corner of his bed.

Emily wanted to give in to him, to fall into his embrace and lay wrapped up there where she imagined it to be just as warm as his hand against hers, and safer than any place she'd ever been before. But her stubborn head was still reluctant to let go. "I've been wondering the last few days what you think about us being friends, only?"

"A lot of deep questions for one night, don't you think?" he grinned. But Derek could see she really wanted a serious answer to the question and his smile faded a little as he spoke honestly. "I've been dancing around the issue mostly because I didn't want to pressure you, but I told you months ago in the park how I feel. And I thought I made my feelings on the matter pretty clear Christmas Day as well."

Realizing she was over analyzing things again, Emily took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. "You did," she acknowledged. "And I think…" Emily sighed from the weight of her future words. "I think maybe I'm ready to be stupid," she declared.

"I'm sorry, I don't follow…" Derek's brows scrunched toward the middle of his forehead.

Finally Emily crawled forward. She sat beside him and her eyes closed as his arm instantly snaking around her waist and he kissed her forehead. "A suspect once alluded to the idea that I'd never been in love, and I think she was right," Emily whispered. "I've never let myself be in love, never let my guard down long enough to let someone else in. Growing up I was always trying to be someone else, someone people liked to be around, but I kind of lost myself in all of that. I shut down parts of me that I wanted to preserve, but now they're so preserved that I don't even recognize them. I don't know how to become Emily again, the whole person. And I don't know that I can really let myself love if I don't even know who I am. But I think I'm ready to at least try."

"In that case, why don't we take this one step at a time," he still didn't want to pressure her, even though she was closer than she'd ever dared to be before. "But only forward steps, not backward. Deal?"

Her head nodded as it rested against his shoulder. "Deal."

xxx

Derek, Emily and the girls sat huddled around a small fire pit on the beach. A clear sky and thousands of stars hovered above them, but they still needed sweatshirts since the temperature had dropped with the setting sun. A good chunk of their New Years Eve day had consisted of sitting on the beach and soaking up sun. But there'd also been more ambitious moments to the day, including a bicycle ride along the ocean beach bike path and a short kayaking trip on Mission Bay.

Glancing across the low flames, Morgan couldn't help smile as he watched Michelle and Ellie eating the last of their Oreo cookies. "What did you girls like best about the last two days?" he asked them.

"The bike ride!" Michelle quickly exclaimed. "And Shamu and the Belugas."

"I liked the kayak trip and the sharks," Ellie relayed in a calmer tone than her new friend.

"And how about you, Madame?" Derek turned to the woman snuggled beside him. "What are your favorite memories from the past two days?"

Emily decided it best not to mention the part where they'd cuddled on his bed for over an hour before she'd finally returned to her own room the night before. "The different aquariums were my favorite yesterday. I think jelly fish are fascinating. And today…" she looked to all their smiling faces and grinned as well. "I really enjoyed watching the sun set over the bay, but I think this is my favorite part of the day, sitting around the fire with all of you."

"Can I say something else?" Ellie asked.

"Of course," Derek replied.

The girl still hesitated a moment before speaking. "I just wanted to thank you for inviting me. I've had fun and it made me realize that it's okay to have fun even if you still feel kind of sad about stuff," she bravely stated. "And it's okay to let other people into your life after losing someone you love," Ellie sighed before continuing. "I like Dan and Beth a lot but I've been scared to let them get close, because I'm afraid I might lose them too," she revealed. "I never had anyone to tell that to before. I thought Becky Johnson was my BFF, but she only wanted to be my friend because she saw what happened to me on the news and thought it would make me popular. I told her I didn't need a friend like that."

Both adults were very glad to finally hear Ellie talk about what was going on in her life, but it was Michelle who offered up some advice. "My mom doesn't really like to talk about daddy too much, so I tell my doll all about him. Maybe you need someone like that to talk to." The girl held her doll out in offering for a long time as Ellie just stared at it. "You don't want her?"

That question snapped Ellie out of her trance and she looked Michelle in the eye. "It's not that," she whispered. "I was just remembering a doll I had that my dad gave to me, but I gave it to charity when I was seven, because I thought dolls were childish. Now I wish I still had it."

"Take Balene," Michelle insisted. "I think you need her more than I do right now."

Ellie reached for the doll and smiled more genuinely than she had the whole trip. A bright flash of colorful light lit the sky a few seconds later. It was closely followed by another brilliant spark of light. "Fireworks," Derek said as he glanced down at his watch and realized the time. "It's officially the new year, ladies."

"Can we go watch them up on the hill?" Ellie asked, pointing toward the small sand dune behind them. "Please?"

"Okay," Emily agreed. "But take the flashlight," she handed them the torch Derek had gotten at a nearby store, knowing they'd be staying out until midnight. "And don't go anywhere near the water," she called after them. Emily watched the beam of light from their flashlight as it wobbled up the hill, and she listened to the girls giggling. Her gaze returned to Derek. "Those two are attached at the hip. It's amazing what twenty-four hours can do for a friendship," she remarked.

He grinned. "Yes, it is, isn't it?" Derek got to his feet and pulled her up with him. "According to park rules all fires have to be out by midnight," he explained while tossing handfuls of sand onto the already dwindling blaze.

When the fire was fully put out, darkness engulfed them and was only lighted by the occasional bright burst of fireworks above them; red, then green, then gold. Emily felt Derek grab a hold of her waist and she clasped her hands behind his neck. "You never mentioned what your favorite parts of the last two days were," she whispered, feeling his warm breath washing over her slightly chilled cheeks.

"This is my favorite part," Morgan replied as he dipped his head to hers and captured her lips. The kiss was not bashful in any way. It was not the kiss of two people still struggling to figure out the line between friendship and something more. It was a familiar, passionate kiss that spoke of their future together. And when he took a quick breath, Derek spoke three words he hoped would be the start of something better for both of them. "Happy New Year."

xxx

Ellie bounded into her house, dropped her bag by the door and immediately began recounting the last few days to her foster parents, much to their surprise. They all stayed and talked for a while, but soon Derek rounded up Emily and Michelle so they wouldn't miss their flight home. Ellie stood by the door with a sad look on her face, holding Michelle's doll close. "Are you sure you want me to keep her?" she asked her friend. Michelle nodded and they exchanged a hug. "I wish we lived in the same city," Ellie said. "But maybe we can email, or text? Do you have a cell phone?"

"No," Michelle replied. "But I know how to use Emily's phone when I want to call Derek. He's number one on her speed dial thingy."

"Maybe we can get you a cell phone," Emily offered, though she felt the child was a bit young for such things. "But you'll only be allowed to call certain people that I program in, and it will only to be used for texting when an adult is present. And you won't be allowed to have it at school with you, ever."

"She's strict," Ellie whispered to her friend. "But I like her. And I like her and Derek together."

Michelle nodded. "Me too," she giggled.

Derek turned his attention to Emily for a second. "Do we even want to know why they're whispering and laughing while looking at us?" Morgan asked.

"We really don't," she shook her head.

Several more rounds of goodbye were exchanged before they finally jumped in the SUV and headed toward the airport. Emily's phone rang and she grinned. "Since we just dropped off one kid, I imagine this is the east-coast mother hen calling to check up on her chick," Emily chuckled softly before noticing that the caller ID on her screen didn't match the one that came up when Anna called from the new cell phone their parents had gotten for her. "Hmm, apparently it's my mother hen." She answered but didn't get a chance to say a single word as her mother spoke in a rush.

Morgan was instantly concerned when he glanced over and watched as Emily's face visibly paled. He also noticed she wasn't speaking, only listening. She barely said anything of acknowledgement before ending the call. "What's wrong?" he finally asked.

Emily glanced into the back seat and was thankful Michelle seemed more interested in what was going on outside the vehicle than inside. She turned her attention back to Derek, feeling shaky and perplexed as she finally told him what her mother had said. "Anna is missing."

"What do you mean, missing?"

"I mean… disappeared. They have no idea where she is."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 11

By N. J. Borba

* * *

For an excruciatingly long moment all Derek could hear was the mild drone of tires against the pavement, and the soft whoosh of other vehicle passing them on the busy highway. His foot automatically pressed down a little more on the gas pedal as he tried to remain focused on driving safely. But as Morgan glanced over to see Emily silently staring out the window, he knew exactly what she was thinking. And he knew he needed to pull her away from that ledge. "Don't do this, Em. We made a deal, remember? No backward steps. This didn't happen because you weren't there to watch over your sister."

"Then where the hell is she?" her voice was thick with worry.

He sighed, sensing she wasn't ready to believe him just yet. "What exactly did your mother say?" Derek took another approach to distract her.

Emily chewed her lip as she recalled her mother's frantic voice. She'd never heard the woman so upset before. "My parents had a charity event to attend today and they asked Anna along, but she didn't want to go. Then my dad decided he should stay with her, but Anna insisted they both go. They were gone for about six hours when they got a call from Rossi who said he couldn't get a hold of Anna. When they went home she was gone. There was no note and her cell phone had been left on her bed," she released a breath. "You're wrong, I should have been there. Margaret got to her because I was here."

"First of all, I think you're jumping to some pretty big conclusions," Derek tried to rationalize things, hoping to be the grounding force Emily obviously needed. "The idea that a sixty-five year old woman was able to break into your parents house and subdue Anna is a little bit far-fetched, don't you think? Granted, Anna has been weakened by all of her treatments, but she's still not exactly a petite woman."

"And my mother said there were no signs of a break-in," Emily responded with some realism. "But maybe Margaret wouldn't need to subdue her. I think that man and woman obviously held some sort of power over Anna all those years they kept her and Eric hidden at that farm. Maybe all she needed was to get Anna alone so she could earwig her and draw her away."

Morgan could see Emily spinning off again and tried to rein her in. "Or maybe Anna just needed some time away from your parent's house. She could have gone for a walk, maybe to a park, maybe to a nearby store. She doesn't have any money, right? So, she couldn't have wandered too far."

"Actually, my parents opened a checking account for her a month ago," Emily revealed. "She has a debit card and we went over how to withdraw money and how to use it as a credit card. Mostly just in case there was any kind of emergency," she explained.

The two of them exchanged a brief look of agreement. "Garcia," they said at the same time.

Their favorite tech was immediately dialed via Emily's cell phone. "_Happy New Year, darling_," Penelope cheerfully greeted. "_JJ, Will and Henry are here with Kevin and I, and we are all having a New Years brunch. How is sunny California treating you_?"

"You're on speaker with Derek and me," Emily replied, a bit coldly. "And this isn't a social call."

"_Oh, you people…_" Garcia sighed in disgust. "_Aren't holidays sacred to you_?"

"Not when my sister is missing," Emily said, not bothering with niceties or drawn out explanations. "She's been gone anywhere from one to six or seven hours, and I really need your help tracking her down. She doesn't have her cell phone with her, but she does have a bank account that may have been accessed."

Penelope made a small noise of agreement as she realized the importance of the situation. "_I hear you… I just need to put down the mimosa and shimmy on over to my laptop_," she explained her actions. There were several minutes of shuffling after that before she came back on. "_All right, here it is_," Garcia said. "_It looks like she used the account about five hours ago to buy a plane ticket_."

"Why would she buy a plane ticket?" Emily was confused, realizing maybe her sister had left of her own will. "To where?"

"_Airport code is ICT; Wichita, Kansas_," Penelope replied. "_That flight landed over an hour ago and I have record of some cash being withdrawn from an ATM in the airport terminal. After that I've got nothing_."

Derek tossed out a suggestion. "How about airport camera footage?" he asked. "Maybe she rented a car or took a cab somewhere?"

"Anna doesn't know how to drive," Emily reminded him.

"_Taxi cab search it is, then_," Garcia spoke as her fingers danced over the keys of her computer with efficiency. "_Hmm, this could take me a few, ICT surveillance system is kinda outdated and there's at least an hour and a half time-frame to fast forward through_."

Emily nodded. "Get back to us when you have something more. Hopefully we can catch a flight to Wichita as soon as we get to LAX." She signed off, but stared down at her phone for a long time. Emily was roused from her thoughts by Michelle's soft voice in the backseat.

"Where's my mommy?" the girl asked.

Realizing that she'd completely forgotten about her niece, Emily turned to face the child. She attempted to pull on a reassuring smile as she spoke. "We think she went back to Kansas, probably she just forgot something she wanted there at your old place," the lie sounded even lamer as it emitted from her mouth. And Emily could see that Michelle wasn't buying it. She was a smart kid. "We'll see her soon," Emily promised.

Morgan remained silent as he took the off ramp that led them toward the busy airport. Ten minutes passed before they were finally parked at the rental return station. He grabbed their bags and took care of all the paperwork as Emily held on tightly to Michelle. Another ten minutes later they were at the ticket counter line, waiting behind a mile of other people. It seemed like an eternity before they finally reached an attendant.

"I need three tickets on your next flight to Wichita, Kansas," Emily informed the man.

"We don't fly to that city, ma'am," the blue-eyed man politely informed her. He then handed her a list of other airlines in the terminal that did.

Her jaw tightened. "I have tickets from _your_ airline that I'd like to exchange. We were meant to fly back to DC today, but I have to get to Wichita to find my sister. It's an emergency," Emily informed him as calmly as she could.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't fly there," he maintained. "I can give you a partial refund for you tickets, but you'll need to speak with one of these other airlines about getting to Kansas. And I'm afraid New Years Day is one of the busiest holiday travel days."

She finally blew her top. "I don't care how busy you are, I need to find my sister," Emily growled. "I'm a federal agent. I work for the FBI, so I suggest you figure out how to get me on a damn plane… right now!"

"Emily," Morgan put a hand to her shoulder but she jerked away from him. "I'm sorry," he apologized to the man behind the counter. "Can you please just do the refund like you said, and then we'll leave you alone," Derek promised.

Michelle scooted herself closer to her aunt and took Emily's right hand in hers. "It's okay," she said softly.

Realizing that she'd been a complete bitch to the man, Emily apologized as he performed the transaction. He silently handed over the refund voucher, but didn't say anything more to them as Derek guided Emily and Michelle away. They received some nasty looks from other people in line and Emily pretty much wanted to crawl in a hole. But Morgan remained a pillar of strength as they waited in another long line.

Finally they spoke with a young woman. "I have exactly three seats left on our 1:30pm flight to Wichita; two in first class and one in coach."

"We'll take them," Emily replied, handing over a credit card. When everything was paid for the three of them headed straight toward security since they only had a half hour to get to their gate. "You and Michelle can sit up front," Emily said, trying to hand him the first class tickets.

His head shook. "I'm not leaving you back there by yourself."

"I'll be fine," she said taking a few deep breaths to prove her point.

"I still think you and Michelle should sit together," Derek insisted, hoping the girl would have a better chance of calming Emily at the moment.

Emily managed to smile softly at his offer. "What about your legs? What if you get stuck in a middle seat?"

Derek wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her forehead while Michelle walked a few paces in front of them. "My legs will recover." His phone rang just as they were about to step through the metal detectors and he cringed, feeling bad for not answering since he saw that it was Garcia. He heard Emily's phone start ringing a second later even as it slid through the conveyor toward the other side.

Thankfully they had no troubles and quickly gathered their things. Morgan's phone rang again and he flipped it open while trying to put his shoes back on. "Sorry, Penelope," he apologized. "We just got through security and our flight leaves in about fifteen minutes, so talk fast."

"_I found Anna standing in line outside the airport. She had a winter jacket on but no luggage. No sign of Margaret anywhere either_," she relayed. "_Anna got into a City Express Cab. I contacted them, but they told me they can't give out any information. Little do they know, you two are on your way there_," Garcia concluded.

Morgan grinned upon hearing her final comments. He also felt some of his panic subside about the news of Margaret not being seen with Anna. But it was still worrisome to think she'd taken off on her own for some reason. "Thank you, baby girl. You're the best."

"_Just keep me informed, please, or call Rossi_," the tech implored. "_I've already had him call me three times. Apparently he's trying to deal with Emily's parents_."

"Understood," Derek hung up and glanced over at Emily. He explained everything Garcia had told him. "You should call your parents and let them know what's going on," he insisted, imagining the poor people were out of their minds with worry.

"Rossi or Garcia will tell them what's going on," she replied dismissively.

He frowned at that response, but kept giving her a wide berth, knowing how upset she was. "It should really come from you," Derek insisted. He was glad when she finally agreed, but her call was quick because their flight was already in the final boarding stages by the time they reached the gate. Morgan walked them to their seats and kissed Emily, just a brief brush of lips to convey his support. "I know you're upset, but it's almost a two and a half hour flight, so try to rest a little."

Emily indulged him with a small nod, even though rest was the farthest thing from her mind.

xxx

The woman behind the cab company counter at the airport had her hair pulled back in a high ponytail and there was a soft drawl to her tone as she spoke. "I'm sorry, sir… ma'am," she looked from Derek to Emily. "I'm not able to give you that kind of information."

"I work for the FBI," Emily practically growled.

"Yes, some woman called and said you'd be demanding information. But I watch all those cop shows, you need some kind of warrant, don't ya?"

Morgan knew he could try to throw his weight around if he really wanted to, but he was working on a theory that he decided to share with Emily. "There's really only one place she'd go in the area, right? To the farm," he guessed.

She shrugged. "But we don't have an address."

"No, but we do have someone who grew up there," his eyes slid to Michelle, sorry that he hadn't thought of the idea before. Derek squatted in front of the girl. "You used to walk to town, right? Do you think you can still remember how to get back to your old house?"

"Not from here," Michelle replied. "I've never been here before."

Emily knew exactly the place to start from. "How about the library you visited," she suggested, recalling all the research Eric had done and how Anna's only real connection to the outside world had been through the library and books. "Do you remember the name of that library?"

The girl smiled. "ACPL," she told them.

Derek spun around and faced the cab service woman. "Do you have any maps to show us where that library is, or at least give us an address?"

"ACPL," the woman looked a little confused for a second. "Shoot, I think the girl means the Arkansas City public library. That's not in Wichita, it's in Arkansas City, which is about an hour south-west of here," she explained. "But no libraries will be open today since it's a holiday."

"Doesn't matter," Morgan replied curtly as he promptly ushered Emily and Michelle toward the nearest car rental service.

They were on the road within a half hour, but it was 4 o'clock in the afternoon and the winter sun was already starting to set. Michelle didn't seem to have any problem directing them, though, even though it was completely dark after they reached Arkansas City. GPS had found the library for them and from there Michelle sent them north-west on a two-lane road for about eight miles.

Only one dim porch light was on as they approached a two-story white clapboard house. The rental car's lights illuminated part of the grounds and Emily could see a small shed to one side of the house, but there was no barn nearby from what she could tell. After they parked behind a beat up red extended-cab truck, Michelle jumped out and took off for the front door. Derek had to stop her from just walking right in. "You don't live here anymore, remember, sweetness?"

Michelle nodded morosely as she stood silently between her aunt and Derek. Emily knocked on the door, noticing the hour on her watch. It was very likely they were about to interrupt someone's dinner meal. Seconds later the wood and glass partition swung open part way with a loud squeak. "Can I help you, folks?" a man's deep voice asked from the shadowy interior.

"I hope so," Emily replied, flashing the FBI identification she always kept with her. "I'm looking for my sister who used to live here, her name is Anna," she said while fishing a picture out of her wallet. It was the photograph her father had taken of the four of them on Thanksgiving night; all crammed into the one bed watching a movie. That memory seemed very distant at the moment. "She's a little taller than me with hazel eyes, and probably a scarf tied around her head.

"Yep, she was here," he said. "Why don't you come in out of the cold," the man offered, waving them inside.

The living room was small, with an antique rug and very little furniture; nothing more than a short sofa and a wooden coffee table. A stone fireplace dominated one end of the space and a blaze was burning brightly, which warmed the area nicely. A woman entered from a doorway to their left. "Jimmy, who's there," she called out. "Did Tyler forget his keys again?"

Emily noted they were both in their late forties or early fifties. "No, Lila. It's someone says she's the sister of that Anna lady who was here earlier," he answered.

Lila quickly approached them and took Emily's hands. "I do hope you've found her," the woman spoke with concern laced through her tone. "I wished she'd stayed a bit longer; let us feed her or something. She sure seemed upset."

"Was she with someone else?" Morgan asked. "An older woman in her sixties?"

"Nope," Jimmy replied. "Just had that cab driver waiting for her, didn't see anyone else. All she wanted was to walk around the house and then out in the yard. She sure was surprised we'd torn the old barn down. But I told her Lila took one walk around inside that building and found some cellar that chilled her heart near to ice. She had me and my boy, Tyler, tear it down straight away. We've got a new one planned to go up in the spring."

"Would you all like some tea?" Lila asked.

"No, ma'am. Thank you, we don't have the time," Emily responded. "Did my sister happen to mention where she was headed?"

The man and woman both shook their heads. "I'm sorry, no," Jimmy was the first to speak a reply. "She just got back in her cab and took off."

Morgan once again looked to their best resource at hand. "Michelle, do you know anywhere else around here that your mom might go?" he asked.

"Maybe to see daddy," the girl spoke softly. "At the spring cemetery."

"I think she means Geuda Springs," Jimmy piped in. "That's only about two miles west of here. I'll drive in front of you, lead the way in the dark," he insisted.

Derek nodded. "That would be great."

"Why don't you let the girl stay here," Lila offered.

"Thank you, but no," Emily held fast to her niece's hand. She didn't believe Lila would harm Michelle in any way, but she wasn't about to let the girl out of her or Derek's sight for a second.

Before they could leave the house, Michelle tugged gently on the man's arm. "Mr. Jimmy? Did you find any bikes when you moved here?"

"Uh, come to think of it, yeah. There were two bikes in the shed," he informed her. "But we needed to clean that out for some things, so we took them to a charity shop in town about two months back."

Michelle dipped her head. "Oh," she lamented, staying close to her aunt as they exited the house.

It was a short trip to the cemetery. The headlights of their vehicles revealed bits of a low wood fence that could've used a coat of paint. And a metal gate hung open, swinging back and forth in the frigid breeze. Emily went with Jimmy, insisting that Derek stay with Michelle in case Anna was hurt, or worse. The man swung his flashlight around the pitch black yard and finally spotted a heap in the western most corner.

Emily stopped him and asked for the light. "Please, I'd like to do this myself," she told him.

Jimmy handed over the flashlight then produced a small pin light attached to his keychain as he wandered back to the vehicles. She proceeded forward and sunk down in front of her sister's body, which was curled up on the frozen ground. "Anna?" the name was a shaky breath as she gently prodded her shoulder. "Anna, please… wake up," Emily's voice broke. She was about to search for a pulse when she finally spotted her sister stirring.

A groan escaped Anna's lips as she pulled herself up into a seated position. "Emily?" she shielded her eyes from the beam of light. "How did you find me?"

"Finding people is what I do for a living," Emily stated in relief.

Anna took her sister's left hand and placed it against something hard and cold. "We did not have money for a grave marker, so Michelle and I laid out rocks. This is not the way I ever wanted you to meet Eric," she swallowed a sob. "I still miss him so much. I needed to feel close to him," Anna took a deep breath. "You are much too persistent, little sister. I wish you had not come."

"So, you _did_ do this on your own? Flying out here?" Emily asked. "Margaret Wilson had nothing to do with it? You ran away?" Anger began to well up as her worry dwindled. "Do you have any idea how upset our parents are right now? Do you have any idea what it was like for me listening to mother as she told me you were missing? How could you do that to us?" she demanded, disappointment evident in her tone.

"I did it for Michelle," Anna replied with conviction, just as bold in her words as her younger sister. "She had to watch her father die last year. There was nothing I could do about that, but there is something I can now. I don't wish for her to watch me die too."

A fearful lump formed in Emily's throat as she listened to her sister, but defiance still flared brighter than sorrow. "You're not going to die," she replied, still stubborn enough for both of them if she had to be. "Didn't we already hash this out? I told you I'd help you fight this and I still plan to follow through with that."

"But you cannot fight this, Emily," her sister sighed. "The day you all left for California, I sat in Dr. Lynnwood's office and listened as he told me that the last round of chemo was virtually ineffectual," Anna relayed. "I have been sick so long the cancer is resistive to treatment. He believes I have no more than three months."

Emily clenched her teeth. "He's wrong."

"He is a very good doctor," Anna replied. "You said so yourself when we found him."

"Well, then I was wrong," Emily was quick to lay the blame on her shoulders. "I've made a ton of mistakes in my life and this is just one more to add to the stack. But we'll find another doctor, a better one. There are other options, I've read about them. There are transplants. You can have my stem cells, or bone marrow. I read that AML can be cured by that sort of transplant. You can have one of my kidneys if you want it, or a lung, part of my liver… anything you want, Anna; it's yours."

"Emily," Anna sighed. Her left hand was boney and cold as it pressed against her sister's cheek. "You cannot fix everything," she lamented, hating to have to be the one to disappoint her sister. "I do not wish you to do those things for me. It's too much. But there is one thing you can give me, the most important thing. I need your word; I need you to promise me you will watch after Michelle when I'm gone."

"No," Emily stated loudly and forcefully. "I won't. She needs _you_. She needs her mother."

Anna sighed again, in frustration. "Please, Emily."

An uneasy chill worked its way down Emily's back as she stared dumbfounded at Anna. "Why on Earth would you want me to take care of Michelle? I can't even follow a recipe to make pancakes."

The night air caught Anna's soft laughter, stopping it from being a merry tone. "So you did not succeed on your first try," she acknowledged. "Do you think I did everything right by Michelle the first time? I had no idea how to be a good mother to her. I did not have the best mothering example growing up. But the point is that you tried, Emily. You tried making those pancakes because you love us, because you wanted to do something that would make us happy. And that is exactly the kind of person I want to raise my daughter."

"I'm not having this conversation with you," Emily maintained her obstinate stance.

"I do not want to be having it either," Anna agreed. "But I need to know you'll be there for her if anything does happen to me. That is why I left my home here, why I left Eric behind, to find someone for Michelle when I'm gone. Please, promise me."

"You also left here so that she could go to school, to graduate from college some day," Emily reminded her. "Well, Monday is the day that all starts. It will be her first day of school. Do you want to miss that?" she challenged. "I know I don't. I want us to run around at the last minute on Monday morning searching for socks and her backpack, and making her a peanut butter sandwich. And I want to be right there when she walks through that classroom door."

"She wants to walk to the classroom herself," Anna replied.

"I know," Emily nodded. "But I plan to sneak in somewhere and watch her anyway. And you'll be there with me, won't you?"

Anna smiled. "You see, you are already a good mother," she pointed out. "If you promise me to look after her when I'm gone then I will go home with you right now and do all of those silly things with you on Monday," Anna proposed a deal.

"I think that's called blackmail," Emily pretended to be upset.

"No, more like coercion," Anna countered.

Emily finally laughed, realizing she'd been bested. "You're a mean big sister. Such a bully," she teased.

"I have many years of picking on you to make up for," the elder smiled to hear her little sister playing along, but her tone grew serious again. "Please, Emily. Promise me you will do this for me; for Michelle."

The smile slipped from Emily's face as she took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay," she finally agreed. "I promise." With both her hands at Anna's waist, Emily helped her sister to a standing potion. Anna took the first step toward the gate, but Emily actually stopped her. "Wait."

"You said you wanted to go now," Anna reminded her.

"I know, but…" Emily shinned the light down upon the rocks marking Eric's grave. "I just feel like I should say something," she breathed out, thinking about the man she knew only from the words he'd written in his journal. "Thank you," Emily whispered. "Thank you for looking after my sister, and for loving her. Thank you for being her family when I couldn't," she concluded.

Anna leaned more heavily against her sister and kissed Emily's cheek. "He would have liked you," she whispered.

They slowly made their way back to the others, Anna supported by her sister the whole way. Michelle leapt from the rental car when she spotted them. "Mommy!" she called out as her arms clasped around her mother's waist. "I had lots of fun in California, and Ellie is my best friend. But I missed you," the girl kissed her mother's hand as Derek and Emily helped her into the back seat. "And I can't wait to get home so I can go to school on Monday," she said as they both buckled up.

"I'm looking forward to that as well, baby," Anna assured her daughter as she shared a smile with her sister.

xxx

Emily balanced two paper cups of coffee, one in each hand, as she made her way back to the others. The Wichita airport was pretty quiet at eight o'clock at night and when she returned she found Anna was asleep in one chair, her head resting against a balled up sweater. Michelle was out, too, her head resting on Anna's lap and feet on Morgan's knees. The quiet was disturbed by the ringing of her cell phone as she was about to retake her seat. She tapped Derek on the shoulder and handed him one of the coffee cups then slipped into the seat beside him and answered the call.

"Hello."

"_Hi, Emily_," the caller greeted. "_It's Dave… uh, Rossi_," the profiler clarified.

"I know who you are," Emily exchanged an amused glance with Morgan. Derek appeared curious about the call but she dismissed him to pay attention to her other co-worker. "Isn't it pretty late back there? Garcia was supposed to call you and let you know we found Anna. We're heading back to DC, but our flight doesn't leave for another hour so we won't be in until late."

"_Garcia did call_," he replied. "_I'm thankful that Anna is all right. I was worried, well… I mean, we were all worried. I stayed with your parents for a while until we got Penelope's good news_."

Emily was pretty sure she'd never heard him sound quite so relieved before, or flustered. He was always suave and level-headed, but his anxious behavior caused her mind to jump to a surprising conclusion. She kept that wandering thought to herself, though. "Was there some other reason you called?"

"_Unfortunately, yes_," the man answered. "_I'm at your place right now, well… outside your door_," he explained. "_I decided to stop by and talk to the lobby attendant on the off chance that Margaret might have been around with all of you gone. He said everyone in the building had been given a copy of Margaret's photo, but no one fitting her description had been seen. I decided to head up here just to be double sure everything was secure. And I found something taped to your door_."

She instantly felt chilled again, much the same way she had while talking to Anna in the cemetery earlier. "Is it from Margaret?"

"_I took the liberty of opening it and, yes, it is_," he confirmed.

"What's inside, Rossi?"

His sigh was audible over the line. "_There's a picture of Michelle and you at Sea World. It looks like maybe you're standing outside a restroom_," he relayed.

"And what does it say?" Emily knew the woman had so far always left a message with the pictures.

"_There's an X over your face, but no words_," Rossi informed her. "_Beside Michelle it says: The future generation will pay for the mistakes of the past_."

The steam from her coffee rose in a steady flow and Emily imagined the waves of furry radiating off her would have looked very much the same if made manifest. "Is that all?" she asked after a short beat.

"_Yes_," he replied. "_I'm so sorry to tell you all this now, but I figured you'd want to be cautious on your travels back considering she must have been in California watching you, which means she could be anywhere right now_."

"Right," she sighed in frustration. "Thank you."

"_Don't mention it_," Rossi responded. "_But, perhaps you could tell Anna that I'm glad she's all right_."

Emily's emotions were all over the place, but for some reason that small bit of sincerity caused a smile to form. "I will," she said before they both ended the call.

Morgan was staring intently at her as she let the phone fall to her lap and sipped the hot coffee. His eyes finally got her to talk and she spilled everything Rossi had just told her. "I don't understand what she's after, Derek. It all seems so random and…"

"Maybe she's just a confused old woman trying to hold on to the past," he suggested.

"A confused old woman who flew all the way out to San Diego in order to take a picture of me and Michelle," Emily sighed dismissively at the idea. "All I know is that if she tries to touch one hair on Michelle's head, I will kill…"

"Hey," he quickly shushed her while motioning his head toward her sleeping sister and niece. "Let's not do this now," he whispered as one of his hands went to her shoulder and then moved to rest at the base of her neck. He gently stroked the fine hairs there as he spoke again. "We have been through too much today to try and figure this woman out right now. But we will. I promise you we will."

"When, Derek?" Emily asked, reclining further into the warm strength of his hand. "Before or after she rips my family apart again?"

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 12

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Emily placed a mug of ginger tea on the side table in her bedroom, close to where her sister was cuddled under a mound of blankets. The larger bedroom had become Anna's since the night they'd returned from Kansas three weeks ago. Emily remained standing by the bed and regarded her sister as Anna struggled to sit up, not wanting any help. Dr. Kirkland, who Emily and her mother had researched extensively before bringing him aboard, had Anna on a new chemotherapy drug combo that was more aggressive than her previous doctor had been using. It seemed to be working, but pretty much kept her constantly tired and weak as a newborn kitten.

A framed photo sat on the table beside Anna's tea. Emily smiled as she looked at the shot of Michelle on her first day of school, uniform pressed, backpack slung over her arms and lunch sack in hand. She'd never had many personal photos in her place before. Now there were framed memories from Thanksgiving, Christmas, Sea World and Michelle's first day of school. It certainly made her place feel more like a home.

"Remember the look on Michelle's face when she caught us watching her go into the classroom?" Emily grinned as she sat down on the bed, patting her sister's legs.

"How could I forget. In fact, I do not think anyone at St. Ann's Academy will ever forget," Anna chuckled softly. "Not after you tried to make a quick getaway only to run into a garbage can that made a loud clatter, which echoed through the whole school," she recalled.

"Well, I can tell _you're_ never going to let me forget that," Emily laughed too, glad for the chance to do so.

The older sister's laughter died down a bit. "Is Michelle asleep?" she asked, reaching for the hot tea.

"Finally," Emily replied. "She asked to watch Finding Nemo tonight. I don't know how she can watch one film so many times, but since it's not a school night I agreed. We even had popcorn," Emily felt kind of bad her sister hadn't been there to join them. "You were still resting when I put her to bed. I didn't want her to bother you."

Anna nodded. "That's okay. I will probably drink this tea and be asleep again within a half hour. And you should be going out tonight; it is Friday. Isn't that when couples go out on dates? I believe I saw that in some movie we watched last week. It is not too late to call Derek. I will be here for Michelle if she needs anything."

"Nah, it's okay. We didn't have any plans," Emily brushed off the suggestion.

"What's wrong?" Anna asked.

"Nothing," Emily's head shook a little as she focused on the floor. "Derek understands about everything, he knows I need to be here for you and Michelle. It's probably a good thing, actually. I'm sure if we start spending too much time together I'll figure out a way to screw up our relationship."

The older woman frowned as she blew on her tea several times before taking a cautious sip. She turned her eyes back to her sister and sighed in disappointment. "That man loves you a great deal, Emily. Even I can see that. He is not going to be so easily frightened away by your, well… whatever it is you think is wrong with you. And you've wasted enough time already. Please do not waste any more. Life is far too precious to be wasted."

"It's just…" Emily fiddled with the crocheted afghan covering her sister and found something hiding in the folds. She pulled the black cell phone free. "You've been keeping this pretty close for someone who doesn't like technology very much."

Anna blushed as she reached for the phone and placed it on the table. "I never claimed not to like technology. It just takes some getting used to," she pointed out. "And you are avoiding talking about Derek," Anna observed.

"And who are you avoiding talking about?" Emily challenged. "Is his name David?" She watched her sister avoid eye contact, kind of the same way she had been doing earlier. "Come on now, I took all of your teasing about me and Derek. And I happen to know that Rossi was trying to call you all day on New Years. He's the one who contacted mom and dad, and then he drove all the way over here to check on the place. I think he was really worried about you."

"That was the arrangement," Anna stated. "David and other members of your team agreed to check in on Michelle and me if you were ever out of town."

"Right…" the younger woman wasn't buying that line for a second, but she let it go. "I'll see you in the morning," she patted Anna's legs again as she stood.

"You will have a cake for Michelle tomorrow, won't you?" Anna called after her.

Emily stopped in the open doorway and turned back to stare at her sister, confused by the request. "Why does she need cake? It's Saturday, there's no school, and we still have extra Oreos in the pantry for her lunches."

"But tomorrow is January twenty-second," Anna replied, looking to her sister for some spark of recognition. "It's her birthday."

All the air whooshed from Emily's lungs as she leaned heavily against the doorframe and sighed. "Oh, Anna," she ran her hands though her hair. "I can't believe I didn't remember. I saw her birth certificate months ago when you filled it out, but…" Emily felt awful about forgetting her own niece's birthday. "You know what, it doesn't matter." She stood up straighter. "I'll get a cake, and presents and balloons, and…"

"Hold on," Anna stopped her. "We never had big birthday celebrations. All she cares about is the chocolate cake. I make one for her every year. I thought I had mentioned this before, but with everything going on perhaps I forgot."

She could see the weariness in Anna's eyes and knew her sister wasn't up to making a cake. "Chocolate cake… I can do that," Emily crossed the room and kissed her sister's cheek. "Don't worry about it, I will handle everything." She rushed from the room before Anna could say anything more and hurried down the stairs into her kitchen. Emily stood there for a moment, glancing around the room as she bit her bottom lip. "How the hell do you make a chocolate cake?" she whispered to herself.

xxx

When she heard the soft knock on her door at a quarter after ten, Emily instantly opened the door to him. "Thank God," she grabbed his hand and guided him to her kitchen where a plethora of ingredients were lined up on the counter. There was flour, cocoa, sugar, raisins, oatmeal and nearly everything else that had been inside her pantry a half hour ago. "I completely forgot that Michelle's birthday is tomorrow and I need to make a chocolate cake."

Derek looked at her like she was crazy. "And you called me?"

Emily's shoulders sagged. "Well, I know nothing about baking a cake. I failed at pancakes."

"And I got half the Chicago fire department called to our place one year while trying to bake holiday cookies," Morgan bested her. "My sisters still tease me about it every chance they get." He watched her chest deflate and felt bad for the lack of help he was offering. "Okay," he shrugged out of his leather jacket and tossed it across the room onto her sofa. "You've got a mix, right? How hard can it be?"

Her eyes rolled. "You can't be serious. Do you honestly think Anna ever baked a cake from a mix?"

"Well, you're not Anna," he replied. It was obviously the wrong thing to say as Derek watched her level of enthusiasm drop off. Morgan stepped toward her and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry. That wasn't helpful," he admitted, prying his cell phone from the clip at his belt as he broke away from her. "I may not know how to bake, but I am related to one of the best bakers in the world."

An hour later it looked like a nuclear blast had hit Emily's kitchen. The two of them were seated on the linoleum floor, their backs against a bank of cabinets as they faced the oven. Emily had her head resting against Morgan's shoulder, her eyes closed. "I hope your mother's cake is good," she sleepily mumbled.

"Mama doesn't make anything bad," Derek confidently replied just seconds before the small egg timer on her stove dinged.

She turned to him. "Now what?"

"Uh, we take it out and do that toothpick test mama mentioned," he explained, standing up so he could grab the hot-pad off the counter and open the oven. Morgan carefully removed the rectangular cake pan and sat it atop the stove. Just a quick look at the cake told him there was something very wrong, but he persisted and tried to poke a toothpick through the middle.

"It didn't rise," Emily noticed as she watched his toothpick break off. She pressed her fingers against it. "And it's hard as a rock," she groaned, her head rolling to one side and then back in defeat. "I don't get it, I followed the recipe; your mother's recipe," she threw her hands up.

Derek couldn't help chuckle. "It's not a huge deal, Em. We can still buy a cake in the morning, but right now I think we're both too tired to…"

"No. It _is_ a big deal. I have to _make_ Michelle a cake. I completely forgot it was even her birthday. Plus it's her last single digit birthday and Anna can't make the cake this year. This is really important to me," Emily conveyed to him.

He took a deep breath and let it out, sensing that she was more worried it might be Michelle's last birthday with her mother. Derek grabbed the recipe he'd written down on a series of florescent green post-it notes. He leaned his flour-dusted black jeans against the counter and began. "Okay, let's go through this item by item. You remembered to add the flour?"

Emily pointed to a white paper bag on the counter. "Yes."

"Cocoa?"

Again her finger pointed out the item in question. "Check."

"Baking powder?" he asked.

She picked up a small yellow box and waved it in his face. "Got it."

Morgan was about to list the fourth ingredient when he noticed what was written on the box she was still holding. He took it from her and turned it around so she could see the words. "What does this say?"

"Baking powder."

"No," his head shook. "_Read_ the box, Emily."

Her tired eyes blinked several times as she tried to focus. "Baking soda," she read. "Oh, _soda_… is there a difference?"

The recipe post-its were placed back on the counter as Derek nodded. "Yeah, I think there's a big difference." He tried hard not to laugh again, but soft chuckles escaped nonetheless. Seeing the annoyed look on her face made him sober up pretty quick and he wrapped his arms around her. "Well, at least I think we've finally uncovered the problem," he whispered, placing soft kisses against her lips. "It seems you suffer from a rare form of baking dyslexia. That would also explain your pancakes."

"Very funny," she pouted, escaping from his embrace to stare at the recipe. "So, do you think if I use baking powder in the next one it will actually bake right?"

"Only one way to find out," he replied, handing her a bowl and the carton of eggs. "Start cracking."

xxx

Her steamy dream about being with Derek in the park ended far too abruptly as Emily slowly came awake. Eyes opened to narrow slits, Emily realized she was still lying on the sofa in her living room where she'd planned to take a quick nap before regrouping to make some frosting. When her eyes fully opened she realized Morgan was knelling beside her. He smiled down at her and stole a kiss. "Good morning, sleeping beauty. You'll be happy to know that the cake is all done."

"You frosted it?" her voice croaked, still partially sleep laden.

He nodded affirmation. "After you fell asleep I went out to an all night grocery store and bought some chocolate frosting in a canister thingy. I figured after cake number two miraculously came out of the oven looking like the real deal, it would be best not to press our luck with homemade frosting."

She was disappointed for a brief second and then came to her senses. "You're probably right. I should know when to throw in the towel."

Another smile perched on his lips as he ran a hand along her cheek. "You should go back to sleep, I didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to kiss you goodbye before I headed out again," he said. "I'm going home to sleep. Then I'll perform a few other necessary tasks for the birthday surprises I have in mind before I return."

Emily took little note of his talk about surprises, still lost in her dream memories. "You could sleep here," she suggested. "With me," her left hand patted the sofa.

Morgan had already contemplated that option. "But then I'm afraid I'll never want to get up."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I could get you up," her eyes narrowed seductively as a jolt of desire shot through her body.

Heat pooled in his stomach and threatened to travel lower. "This is certainly not territory we've covered yet," Derek replied with a bit of difficulty.

"And why is that?" Emily questioned.

His forehead dipped to rest against hers. "Because I tend to rush things in my life, from work to relationships," Morgan said. "But I really don't want to be in a rush about this. I really don't want to screw this up, because I care about you a great deal and I don't want to lose you."

"I said something similar to Anna last night, about my fear of messing this up," she revealed. "And I know I told you in San Diego that I was worried about letting myself love someone, but I realize now how silly that is, because there's love in friendship," Emily bravely stated. "I think I've loved you for a long time without even realizing it. Then you came over last night to help me bake a cake, and I can't really think of anything sexier or more loving than that."

Without another word he kicked off his shoes and climbed in behind her on the sofa. It was snug, but that only reinforced the even closer relationship they'd just established. "Who knew all I had to do was help you bake a cake to find out your true feelings for me," he spoke softly in a somewhat joking manner. But his words turned serious as he whispered a few more softly into her ear. "I love you, too, Emily."

xxx

She'd fallen asleep again, warm and loved, but had woken alone and a bit chilled due to a lack of Derek's arms around her. Emily sat up and then got to her feet, wondering if the night had all been one long dream. But as soon as she noticed the frosted cake on her kitchen counter she smiled, knowing it had been very real. There was even a large candle atop the cake in the waxy shape of a number 9. Emily was touched by his thoughtfulness.

After a hot shower and some clean clothes, Emily ventured to the main bedroom to check on her sister. The bed was empty and she could hear the shower running in the bathroom. Emily knocked on the door and then pushed it open a crack when she got no response. "Anna?" she called out across the foggy room. "Are you all right in there?" There'd been very few days the past month that her sister hadn't needed help with even the most basic tasks, such as showering.

"Fine," the older woman replied. "I feel good this morning, and I'm using the seat you got for me. You do not have to worry so much."

"Do you need any help?" Emily asked, unable to let go of her concern.

"Yes, actually," Anna spoke in a dead-serious tone. "Perhaps you could wash my hair for me."

That finally broke down Emily's barrier. "Ha ha," she chuckled dryly. "My sister, the cancer comedian," Emily shook her head, though she was happy that Anna seemed to be in much brighter spirits after her New Years breakdown. "Well, I did want to ask you if it was okay for Derek to stop by today. I know you said you don't do big birthdays, but he helped me make the cake last night and apparently he has some surprise for Michelle."

"Of course Derek is welcome," Anna replied. "You do not even need to ask. Besides, we are only guests here."

Emily rolled her eyes even though Anna couldn't see her. "Please, you stopped being a guest here the day you waxed my mini-blinds."

"Dusted," Anna corrected her sister. "Wax is what you put on the kitchen floor."

"Right, whatever…" Emily responded as she began to pull the bathroom door shut. "Don't hesitate to holler if you really do need some help," she said. Half-way through the bedroom, Emily ran into Michelle. Her arms went around the girl's pajama-clad shoulders. "Happy Birthday, chaton," she greeted.

Michelle smiled, still loving that term of endearment from her aunt. "I was just downstairs and I saw the cake mommy made me and I wanted to thank her," her words expelled in a rush of excitement. "I thought she'd be too sick to make one this year."

"Your mom would never forget something so important," Emily replied, deciding not to mention that she'd been the one to make it. It wasn't a very important fact in the grand scheme of things. And it made Michelle happy to know her mother had done it. "She's still in the shower, so why don't you get cleaned up and then I will make a special pancake breakfast for your birthday."

"Um, that's okay… you don't have to. We can just have cereal," Michelle offered.

She noticed the wary look on the girl's face. "Hey, have a little faith. I promise they'll be a lot better this time."

xxx

After Michelle's favorable review of her pancakes, Emily was feeling pretty good about the potential of the girl's birthday cake. But it was one o'clock in the afternoon and she hadn't heard from Derek. Emily was a little worried, but she knew he always kept his word and he'd promised to be back. Only seconds after that final thought probed her brain, there was a knock at the door that caused Emily's stomach to flop in anticipation of seeing him again after the seminal night they'd spent together.

She was slightly disappointed to find JJ, Will and Henry instead. But seeing their smiling faces and the small gift bag in JJ's left hand made Emily's mood brighten again, because she was pretty certain she knew exactly who was behind their visit. "We heard a young lady was having a special birthday," JJ said as her friend showed them all inside to the living room.

"How did you know, did Derek call you?" Emily hunted for an answer to her suspicion.

The liaison shook her head. "Nope, Garcia," she replied while helping Henry out of his winter coat. "Although, she did mention it was Morgan who contacted her."

Emily nodded, confirmation on her side. Michelle bounded down the stairs and lit up to see their company. She immediately headed toward Henry, wanting to show him her birthday cake. Anna slowly made her way down the stairs and was greeted by a helpful Will at the halfway mark, who guided her to the sofa. Emily was touched by the way her friends had all welcomed her sister and niece into their lives; so much so that they were showing up on their Saturday off to celebrate a birthday. Rossi arrived second, heading straight to the sofa to chat will Anna. Garcia and Kevin showed up after that, followed closely by Reid and then Hotch and Jack.

By the sixth knock at her door, Emily was certain to find Derek. Instead she came face-to-face with her mother. "Derek called you, too?"

"Agent Morgan?" her mother asked, somewhat confused by the greeting her daughter had given. "No," Elizabeth's head shook. "Why would he call us? We came to drop of Michelle's birthday gift. Your father is bringing it up; it's rather heavy so our cab driver is helping him with it."

"You knew it was Michelle's birthday today?" Emily asked with a note of surprise.

Elizabeth moved past her daughter who had failed to welcome her inside. "Of course I knew," she replied. "I've had it written on my calendar for months, ever since I saw it on the birth certificate I helped Anna file for Michelle." The ambassador looked around to see all the people inside her daughter's place. "I didn't know you were having a party, though."

In her mother's eyes, Emily could see that she was hurt by the idea of not being invited to the gathering. "Actually, I didn't know either. This party is all Derek's doing," she explained, hoping to smooth over any bruised egos. Thankfully her niece was much better at calming potentially volatile situations, and she only needed a smile and a hug to do so.

"Hi, grandma," Michelle wrapped her arms around the older woman.

The door, which Emily had left half-open, swung in to reveal Joseph Prentiss and the cab driver. They each carried one end of a heavy looking package and then sat it down on the floor near the kitchen counter. After the cab driver had been paid and left, Michelle went straight for her grandfather and hugged him as well. "Hi, grandpa," she cheerily greeted.

"Happy birthday, peanut," Joseph returned the gesture.

Emily watched her father with the girl and wondered if he'd ever interacted with her that way. She imagined he had from the things he'd told her about the night Anna had been kidnapped; how he'd wanted to stay behind to watch them, to read to them and tend her crying fit. It wasn't the first time Emily allowed herself to think about the kind of family life they might have had if Anna had never been taken. If her parents dreams for their family had never been squashed.

"What is this huge box?" Emily finally asked, noticing the gift they'd brought. "You do realize we live in a smaller place than you," she eyed her parents.

"We got the smallest one we could find without it being a…" Elizabeth looked down at her granddaughter. "I suppose you should open it before I reveal what it is."

Michelle carefully peeled away the tape on one end of the package and Emily shook her head. "Just rip it open, kiddo," she encouraged.

The child smiled as she finally made a large gash in the wrapping paper, which revealed half the box in one motion. She stared at the pictures and words on the box for a moment before finding her voice. "Is it really an aquarium?" she looked from one grandparent to the next and back to the box. "Can I get fish to put in it?

"Of course you can," Elizabeth replied. "I thought maybe I could pick you up after school on Monday and take you to the pet store so we can pick out the kind of fish you'd like," she suggested.

"Mommy, did you see?" Michelle asked, calling to her mother across the room.

Anna grinned while nodding. "Yes, I did. And what do you say to your grandparents?" she prompted the child.

"Thank you," Michelle gave them each another hug. "Thank you so much," she said again before returning to her gift and removing the last bits of paper. She looked to her aunt with questioning eyes. "Can I keep it down here in the living room so we can all see the fish?"

"If that's what you'd like, sure," Emily happily agreed.

"I can't wait to show Derek," the girl said as she tore open the top of the box. "Maybe he can help put the stand together for me."

"Did I hear someone mention my name?" Morgan called out from down the hall. He stood with the door partially closed and grinned when Michelle and Emily looked his way. "There seems to have been another birthday present left out here in the hall, so I thought I should bring it in," he announced as the door was fully pushed open.

Michelle's eyes grew wide as she squealed with delight, watching him wheel a purple bicycle down the entry hall toward her. "Is that really for me?" She met him halfway and ran her hand appreciatively along the white handle bars. Then she swung one leg over and got up on the bike to try it out.

Derek hunched down as he held the bicycle steady for her. "I know it's not as special as the one your dad fixed up for you, but it's the best I could do."

"This one's special, too, Derek. Because you gave it to me," she flashed him the biggest smile she could. "Thank you, I love it. Can we go riding _right_ now?"

His right hand patted her head. "I think we might want to wait until the weather clears up a little," he chuckled, pleased by her happy response to the gift.

"But I like riding in the puddles," Michelle said. "Don't you?"

He nodded, grinning even wider as he recalled their first ride together. "Well," he bent down a little more and whispered for her ears only. "Maybe we can bundle up later and ride through the puddles," Derek suggested, watching her nod vigorously. His next words were spoken a little louder, so Emily and the others could hear. "But first I think we should all have some cake."

Michelle agreed and the chocolate cake was a huge hit, gaining rave reviews. But, as the day came to an end and Emily walked her final guest to the door, Derek couldn't help asking why everyone had believed Anna to be the cake baker. Emily simply shrugged in response. "It made Michelle happy to think that her mom had baked it. It's really not a big deal."

Derek smiled as he rested an arm against the wall beside her and leaned in to steal a kiss. "It is a big deal, because you're a good person, Emily."

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied with a soft chuckle. "You make the people around you feel good," Morgan repeated words she'd said to him years ago while working a case.

Emily recalled the same exchange, realizing how big a part of her life he'd become over the years. He'd become a pillar of strength for her, a grounding force. It didn't feel like a dependent relationship, though, but rather one built on mutual trust, admiration and definitely attraction. It felt safe and familiar to her. "Well, come Monday afternoon I'm going to have an even better gift for Michelle than a cake," she told him.

"Really?" Derek was intrigued. "What's that?"

Her head moved from side to side. "I can't tell you yet. It's a secret."

"I should go, then," he kissed her again before making a move to open the door.

Emily grabbed the doorknob first, blocking his exit. "Why do you have to leave?" she asked. "Is it because of what we both said this morning? Are you having doubts about us?" She barely took a breath before posing another question. "Or is it just the Anna and Michelle thing you're worried about?" Emily watched his eyes iris open a little wider and guessed that might be it. She pulled him closer, pressing her body against his. "I can be quiet," she whispered, heart thumping.

"But I'd rather you weren't," he replied, fingertips brushing the flesh of her wrist that was still holding the doorknob. "I meant every word I said this morning, Emily. I love you," Morgan sealed those words with a soft kiss to her lips. "I just really want you alone when I make love to you for the first time. I want it to be special."

She was both touched and amused by his sentiment. "You sure you're a guy?" Emily teased.

"Positive," he whispered, abandoning the doorknob struggle for a moment as both his hands went to her waist. His kiss that time was hungrier, probing the warm, sweet interior of her mouth. Derek pulled away reluctantly, leaving both of them breathless. "I'll prove it to you. Soon," his words were a serious promise, though a difficult one not to follow through with at that very moment. He placed one last kiss against her forehead before slipping out the door.

xxx

On Monday afternoon Emily sat in Dr. McCleary's office, surrounded by familiar mahogany wood as she ate up more time off from work. In four months she'd used nearly a year's worth of personal leave. But Emily fidgeted in her seat, feeling much the same as she had while waiting for word on whether or not Anna was her sister, nervous and excited. The news that day had been good, and Emily hoped for a repeat performance as her parent's old friend entered the cozy office.

"I wanted to thank you again for doing this so quickly," Emily spoke as he sat. "Anna's worried about the whole thing, but from all that I've read the newer process of stem cell removal is a pretty banal procedure for the donor. And I'd be willing to go through it a hundred times for her."

The man smiled softly at her words. "You're a good sister, Emily." An unmistakable sigh escaped his lips as he fingered the file in front of him. "I just wish I had better news for you," he finally said. "I'm afraid your tissue type isn't a match for Anna."

Her head shook imperceptibly as she tried to swallow those words. Emily felt her gift to Michelle slip from her grasp. She was meant to save Anna, to be the one to banish her nasty disease into oblivion. Instead, that opportunity had just been slashed from existence like a knife to the gut. After a moment of disparaging thoughts, she refused to accept that fate. "I don't understand. Everything that I've read states that a sibling has the highest rate of being a possible match," Emily recalled.

"Those statistics hold true," Dr. McCleary acknowledged. "Of course that's more the case of full siblings, siblings who share the same mother and father," he added.

Emily pressed her lips together tightly as her head turned somewhat to one side in confusion. "I'm not sure why you're telling me this. I sat here with Anna and our parents when you confirmed she was their daughter, and my sister. So, we are full siblings, right? Unless you made a mistake." Somehow Emily doubted that was true, but she was utterly confused by his behavior.

His eyes widened worriedly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I thought maybe you knew."

"Didn't mean to what?" Emily asked shortly, tired of feeling like he was giving her the run around. "Thought I knew what?"

"I did confirm Anna as the biological child of Elizabeth and Joseph Prentiss," he spoke in a clinical manner, as if he hadn't been a family friend for years. "However, when I tested your blood for the HLA typing I noticed something odd. I went over the tests several times thinking I'd made a mistake, but I also crossed them with your parents DNA samples and confirmed what I was seeing in the tests."

"Odd?" Emily focused on that one word more than the others for some reason. "What are you trying to say? Is there something wrong with me?"

"No," he sighed again. "I'm saying that genetically speaking, it's not possible for Joseph Prentiss to be _your_ father."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 13

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly even though the car had been parked and turned off for nearly twenty minutes. Fingernails dug into the hard plastic underside of the wheel as she sat in the driveway of her parent's residence. The structure's brick façade stood there before her looking strong and timeless, but she spotted the small cracks here and there that had formed over the years. Like the cracks that had recently crumbled the bedrock of her life. She'd been pondering whether or not to confront her parents since the second she'd left Dr. McCleary's office over an hour ago. His words still echoed loudly in her head. In his mind there was no error of doubt about her paternity. But there was still plenty of doubt in Emily's scattered mind.

A deluge of rain suddenly burst through the gray clouds above her. It splattered heavily against the hood of her car and ran in rivulets down the windshield, prompting Emily to search deeper for internal guidance. Throughout her life she'd always used diversionary tactics more so than taking action when it came to dealing with her parents. Growing up, her rebellion had trickled forth in the form of smoking, dying her hair or wearing clothes that pissed them off, among other things that they'd never learned about. For the first time in her life she was tired of being covert. She wanted answers, and hard as it might be, she needed them from the source.

As calmly as possible, Emily exited the vehicle, walked toward the house and entered into the public reception area of her mother's office. The assistant's desk was clear of almost everything that had once resided there, including the assistant who was nowhere to be found. Emily remembered her mother talking about retirement, but she couldn't fathom the ambassador spending her days knitting or doting on her grandchild. Those activities just didn't go along with what she knew of her mother.

She let herself into the main office where her mother was seated behind the large desk. The slender woman was hunched over her laptop and typing periodically, eyes darting back and forth between computer and the open file beside her. Emily stood there quietly for a long time, silently scrutinizing her mother and waiting to be noticed. Nearly a minute or two actually passed before Elizabeth's head rose and her eyes widened a little in recognition.

"Emily," the older woman spoke, sitting up straighter. "This is a surprise." She watched as her daughter remained rigid, not budging from her spot and not speaking either. "Is everything okay?" Elizabeth asked, dropping both hands into her lap. She rose to her feet a second later. "Is something wrong with your sister?"

The panic that laced her mother's tone finally caused Emily to snap out of her dazed state. "No, Anna is…" even as upset as she was with her mother, Emily didn't wish for her to worry about Anna any more than was necessary. "She's fine." Emily took a shallow breath and resumed course. "I came here this afternoon to speak with you and daddy," she finally revealed, keeping her voice as neutral as possible even though she wanted to shout out what she'd learned from Dr. McCleary.

"Well, your father's at work," the ambassador spoke dismissively as she retook her seat. "Is there some sort of message I could relay to him for you?"

"No, I need to speak with both of you," Emily maintained. "Now."

Elizabeth exhaled in an exaggerated manner, as if dealing with a difficult toddler who wasn't listening. "And I just told you…"

"I heard what you said, mother," Emily stopped her, still managing to keep a civil tone, but only barely. "I need you to call him and have him join us."

"Don't be silly," the older woman nearly laughed, though she sensed something about her daughter was off. "He's probably in a meeting at this time of day. I can't just call him whenever I feel like it. You know that."

Emily felt her resolve begin to snap. "Call him, mother," there was a distinct note of urgency in her tone of voice. Her eyes narrowed as she continued. "_Now_," the last word was more serious than any she'd spoken before that moment.

Seconds ticked by as the two women stared at one another, dark eyes mirroring each other. The elder finally backed down, picked up the phone on the desk beside her and dialed a number she knew by heart. Emily inhaled and exhaled slowly as she listened to the one sided conversation. She could hear the obvious disturbance in her mother's voice, and sensed her father's confusion by the responses emitting from her mother's lips. After a short time the phone was replaced in its cradle and Elizabeth sat back in her leather chair. "He'll be here in a half hour. That's the quickest he could get away," she announced.

"That's fine," Emily replied as she turned her back to her mother and perused the books on the shelves. For exactly thirty-two minutes she pretended to be interested in the hardbound titles as she ignored all of her mother's attempts to talk, which had only lasted for the first five or so minutes. And when her father finally entered the room, Emily felt the last of her restraint slip through her fingertips. She faced him boldly, cutting him off half way through his greeting of: _hello, pumpkin_. "Did you know?" the words fell from her lips like boulders that were far too heavy to be carried on her back any longer.

Joseph Prentiss was a tall, smartly dressed man with the intelligence to back up his appearance. But at the moment he was feeling rather confused, glancing back and forth between his wife and his younger daughter. "Know what?" he asked, watching Emily even closer. He'd never been in the running for father of the year, but he felt he knew his daughter well enough to know there was something very off about her at the moment. "Emily, you seem upset. What's wrong?"

"Did you know you weren't my father?" she wasted no time with frivolous words, surprised by how easily she'd asked the question. It was in drastic conflict with the overwhelming beat of her heart.

The man's whole face paled as he sucked down a shaky breath. His eyes locked with his wife for a moment and then he turned back to his daughter. "No," he replied. "I didn't know, but…" Joseph paused a second before he spoke the last few words. "I knew it was a possibility," he finally admitted.

Emily turned toward her mother, knowing instantly that she'd grossly underestimated her mother's ability to conceal the truth. "When I came to you months ago asking about Anna, curious if maybe daddy had been the one to have an affair…" she sighed, shaking her head. "But all this time it was you. And I'm nothing but…"

"Whatever you're thinking it's not true," Joseph stopped his daughter, worry etched upon every fine line in his face. He moved toward her, one hand outstretched as he tried to place a comforting palm against her shoulder. But she recoiled. He steeled himself against the icy rejection. "Emily, I never wanted to know the truth. In my eyes you have always been mine. From the second I first held you I believed you were my daughter, my little pumpkin. That's all I needed to know."

"Well, it's not enough for me. I need to know more," Emily replied, her voice so soft she could barely hear it herself. Her gaze bore through her mother. "Part of me wants to know why and how and…" a lump in her throat cut off her words. Emily swallowed the best she could. "But mostly I just want to know who he is, the man who's my real…" she had nothing further to say, though. Father, dad, daddy… none of those seemed to apply. "Just a name will be fine for now," she concluded, as if conducting a simple business transaction. But inside she was trying very hard not to let her body shake apart.

"You don't need to know who that man was," Elizabeth finally spoke for the first time.

"The hell I don't," Emily replied. It wasn't an exclamation or a huff, or even a demand. She mostly felt like the wind had been kicked out of her. "Who _is_ he?"

Elizabeth Prentiss sat down at her desk. She leaned forward, hands folded atop the dark surface. Emily stood before her, brown eyes beseeching the truth. "Has it been easy for you being a woman in the FBI?" the ambassador asked. "Have you been fully accepted as a female agent? Or is it still somewhat of a boys club there?"

"What does that have to do with…"

"Has it been easy for you?" Elizabeth interrupted.

Emily's jaw clenched. "No," she revealed through gritted teeth.

"Now imagine how difficult it was for me forty years ago to fit in where men were predominately in charge," the ambassador continued. "In school, at work… right from the start during my internship it was such a boys club, and not just that," she expanded. "It was all about the people you knew, not what you knew. I had to fight every day to fit in, to find my place in this world."

"The Prentiss family name has power, has money, years of history in the area…" Emily tried to argue.

"In the business world, yes," her mother agreed. "But not political, not worldly," she countered. A deep breath was inhaled and slowly let out. "There was a young man in the internship program with me; his family was deeply rooted in the political circles of Boston and DC. He said he could help me…"

"So you slept with him?" Emily spat accusatorily. "You cheated on your husband to further your political career. You whored yourself out in order to…"

"You will not speak to your mother that way," Joseph's thick voice cut his daughter off.

All rational emotion was swallowed by a swell of pain. "You can't tell me what to do, you're not my father," Emily's words hung in the air for a long time. She felt like a cliché saying those things to him, and she regretted the hateful words slung at her mother, but she didn't know how to take them back. She was too angry. "You've ruined everything. Don't you understand that? I was probably Anna's last chance at fighting this cancer, but you destroyed that. You've killed her, and I will never forgive either of you for that," Emily had never felt such malice toward them before. "All I want is a name, I think you owe me at least that much."

Elizabeth Prentiss shared a glance with her husband before a name fell from her lips. "Steven Armatage."

xxx

There were no tears as Emily made her way down the wide, florescent lit corridor at the BAU. Mostly there was regret, not to mention curiosity, anger, fear and doubt all twisting her stomach into one giant knot the size of a Winnebago. She was grateful that their daily meeting that morning hadn't yielded a new case to work. It seemed timely to have a lull at the exact moment her life was completely unwinding. But Emily thought it best not to even think such things, because she knew cases had the habit of creeping up without warning. Kind of like everything in her life at the moment.

Voices flowed outward from the tech's office as she neared and Emily realized that she'd completely forgotten about Michelle. It was Monday, the day her mother had been planning to take her granddaughter to the pet store to buy fish for her aquarium. Somehow in all the chaos of the afternoon they'd both forgotten the child. Her heart sunk into that knotted up stomach, which only served to make her feel even worse. Emily stood just outside the partially opened door, watching and listening to the carefree tones of her niece, friend, and the man she loved.

"So, you got the privilege of picking up Miss Michelle from school?" Garcia asked Derek as she ran an affectionate hand over the child's short braid.

"Oui," Morgan responded in French, though the word had very little accented lithe to it.

The tech was still impressed. "Oui?" Penelope questioned with an arched brow. "Just out of curiosity, do you know how to spell that?"

"Um… W-E," he replied with a shrug and a lopsided grin.

"It's O-U-I, Derek," Michelle corrected him.

Morgan tugged gently on her braid. "Well, you never taught me how to _spell_ the words, smarty-pants," he teased the girl.

Garcia caught the child's eye. "At least he didn't spell it W-I-I," she quipped, eliciting a round of giggles from herself and the child.

"Yeah, laugh if you want," Derek took the ribbing in good humor. "I've been learning a few things to impress Emily," he relayed. "I haven't tried anything out on her yet, though. But I think the only saying I really need is: Je t'aime."

Emily could barely stand how jovial they all seemed, nor could she stand the love she heard in Derek's voice. She felt about a million miles away from understanding that sort of happiness after the things she'd discovered the last few hours of her life. But if there was one thing she knew, it was how to compartmentalize. Emily stepped into the dimly lit room and made a small noise with her throat to signify her entrance. She then mentally stuffed everything into the darkest corner of her mind.

Michelle turned toward her aunt. A small smile formed to see the woman she loved, but there was a questioning undertone to the look. "Grandma forgot to pick me up at school today," the girl relayed. "And mommy couldn't reach either of you."

"I know, I'm… sorry," Emily apologized. She'd turned her cell phone off upon arrival at her parent's place.

"Mommy called Derek and he picked me up," Michelle explained.

Derek caught Emily's eye and instantly knew something wasn't right. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Emily promptly dismissed his concern. "Nothing, something just came up that I had to deal with. I should have called, but it slipped my mind," she replied with little emotion. "Actually, do you think you could take Michelle home for me?" Emily asked. "I need to follow up on something before the trail runs cold, some important research I could really use Garcia's help with."

"About a case?" Morgan inquired, still worried about her aloofness.

"Sort of," she lied. "I really need to do it right now."

He exchanged a look with Garcia who shrugged, not seeming to know anything more about what was up with Emily than he did. Derek wasn't convinced in the slightest by Emily's vague explanations, but he didn't think it was the right time to press her. He placed a hand against Michelle's back. "Come on, sweetness, let's get you home to your mom," he said. They walked past Emily and he restrained himself from pulling her close and finding out what was really bothering her.

Penelope watched them leave and then focused fully on her friend. "He's not an idiot you know," she voiced.

"What?" Emily blinked, arms held limply at her side.

"He knows something is wrong with you, even I can see that," the tech pointed out. "What is it?"

Silence hung between them until Emily was sure Derek had gone. "Joseph Prentiss isn't my father," Emily finally revealed, saying the words for the first time. "I'm not a Prentiss; I might not even be an Emily for all I know."

An amused chuckle escaped Garcia's lips, but she quickly stopped upon closer inspection of her friend. "Were you being serious just now?" she asked and watched Emily give a quick nod. "About all of it?"

"I need you to help me search for a man named Steven Armatage," Emily gave her answer. "I know he was an intern with the Council of American Ambassadors at the same time as my mother, so he's probably about the same age as her too. And I'm guessing he grew up on the East Coast, but I really don't know that for certain."

Garcia had to consciously close her mouth. She figured her shock level was considerably less than Emily's, even though the woman was speaking with such detachment that it was hard to tell. Her fingers began the familiar dance over her keyboard and she easily pulled up the council's records in a matter of seconds. "Got him," Penelope announced. "Steven Armatage was born in Boston on June 17, 1947. Harvard graduate. After his internship he was an ambassador in Japan for several years. That's all I can find on record here, but now that I have his basics I can…"

"Can you find a picture?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, there's one attached to the council's file," Garcia displayed the photo, revealing a young man with sandy hair and blue eyes.

Emily scrutinized the photograph. "I don't look anything like him." She wasn't sure what she'd been hoping to see in the man, an instant connection, an unmistakable spark of herself in his face. At the very least some small feature of similarity.

"You look a lot like your mother," the tech offered, not at all certain what she was meant to be saying. "There are a few more pictures," she added, glancing over her shoulder to see if Emily wanted her to scroll through them. A nod was her only answer. Penelope hit the advance button and a news article popped up with a picture in one corner. It wasn't a very good quality image, but it clearly showed three people: two men and one woman standing between them.

"That's my mother," Emily recognized the woman. Her eyes drifted toward the man standing to her mother's left, not the one she recognized as Steven Armatage. The taller man had dark hair, brown eyes and a slightly squarer jaw line. "Richard Hayes," Emily whispered the name under the picture. "She lied again."

Penelope could also see that her friend resembled the man on the left far more than Steven Armatage. "Richard Hayes. Maybe he's some sort of great descendant of Rutherford B. Hayes. You might have presidential stock in your veins," she quipped, trying to infuse some levity into the situation. But Garcia figured she wasn't doing a very good job by the perplexed look she spotted on Emily's face.

"Why would my mother lie about who he was?" she questioned. "Unless lying has become a hobby for her. Perhaps that's how she'll spend her retirement, not knitting… no, not my mother. She'll sit on a park bench and lie about things all day."

Garcia gulped nervously at what she read on the screen in front of her. "Or, maybe she didn't want you to know he's dead," the tech revealed, reading further down the news page. "Apparently he died not long after this picture was taken. You would have just been a baby at the time. It was a car accident, stormy night, curvy road; he'd been drinking and ran into a tree…"

"Great," Emily scoffed, further resorting to sarcasm as a crutch. "My real father was a lush."

Penelope's fingers hovered over her keyboard, still not knowing what to do or say. "You truly believe he's your real father?"

"Look at the picture," Emily's right index finger tapped against the computer screen. "I know you're not a profiler, but even you can see it plain as day. Can't you?"

The red-head didn't want to feel sorry for her friend; she knew Emily would hate that. She wanted to comfort her, but she wasn't sure Emily would respond well to that at the moment either. Garcia decided answers were the best way to get through to her. "Do you want me to dig deeper? Do you want to know more about him?"

"I don't know," a shrug raised one of Emily's shoulders a little. The fight was quickly draining from her. "I don't think so, at least not right now. I just want this picture," she continued to stare at her mother standing between the two young men. It eerily reminded her of another photo. "Can you print that for me?"

"No problem," Garcia replied, doing so instantly and handing it over when she was done.

Emily glanced at the printed copy. "Thank you, P," she whispered before slipping out of the room.

xxx

She didn't return home until the dreary, rain-laden sky had been sucked dry of all light. It was still fairly early in the evening, though, and Emily was greeted at her door by Derek. He wore a welcoming smile and kissed her cheek as they walked toward the kitchen. She could see that his jacket was slung over her sofa and he looked very relaxed in her place, like he belonged there. Anna was in the kitchen standing before the stove, stirring something that was sizzling in a frying pan. Michelle had a book open on the table and was filling in answers to her math homework worksheet. It all seemed so normal, and yet very out of sync with how Emily was feeling.

"Derek's staying for dinner," Michelle informed her aunt, a happy smile on her face about that fact.

Emily tried hard to smile in return, but her efforts fell short. It was taking all the strength she had to keep her secrets hidden from their view. She turned to her sister with an admonishing look. "You shouldn't be up cooking; it's too much strain on your body."

"There are very few minutes in the day when I feel well enough to stand," Anna countered, waving her wooden spoon in Emily's face. "Today I had a long string of them. Besides, it is just one of those frozen stir-fry mixes you bought. I did not have to do much." She began scooping the veggies out onto a platter, followed by the brown rice she'd prepared. "You do so much for us every day, Emily. This is the least I can do for you."

Morgan kept a close eye on Emily as Michelle cleared her things from the table and set out plates and silverware for them. The girl helped her mother bring the food over and dished it up for everyone. All the while Emily remained in some sort of catatonic state as she sat down to eat, as if she were watching a television show play out on screen. "So, how did your research with Garcia go?" Derek finally struck up some dinner conversation half way through their meal.

"Fine," Emily replied, taking a small bite of broccoli.

He ate for a few more minutes before trying again. "Did you talk to your mother about the mix-up this afternoon, her not picking up Michelle? Anna said she tried calling but never could get through. That's a little worrisome, don't you think?"

Her grasp on the fork in her hand tightened. "She's been disappointing me most of my life, why should this be any different," Emily ground the words out.

The remainder of their meal was silent. Even Michelle sensed something was wrong and stayed quiet. Derek helped the girl clear plates when they were done while Anna went to rest on the sofa with Emily. "What's wrong?" Anna asked her sister.

"Nothing," Emily quickly dismissed the concern she heard in the question.

Derek appeared beside them a few minutes later. "I should probably be going," he said, though he didn't really wish to leave. But the cold shoulder he was getting from Emily made him think it might be for the best. "Will you walk me to the door?" Morgan looked pointedly at Emily. She got to her feet and walked with him to the door, but still would barely look at him or even speak. He finally reached out to her, both hands at her waist. "What's going on?"

"I just want to be alone, is that a problem?" her words were swift and cold.

"No," Derek responded. "But it seems like more than that to me," he pushed a little. "It feels kinda personal. A few days ago we were baking a cake, sleeping together on your sofa, saying the words I love you with ease, and now… now I'm not sure what's going on with you, or with us."

Her eyes darted from wall to floor as she still managed to avoid eye contact. "Maybe I was wrong about being ready for this. I don't know what a relationship is meant to be. I'm not any good at it and you're better off knowing that now rather than later."

Morgan's head shook defiantly as he guided her chin upward with one finger. "Look at me, please," he pleaded with her. "Relationships are about love and trust, truth and respect. I just want to try and understand what happened between Saturday and today to make you this upset," he said.

"I'm not upset," her voice remained a monotone.

He was struck by a memory, something he recalled her being excited about; one of the last things she'd said to him on Saturday night. "Is this about the surprise you mentioned? Something about getting Michelle the best gift ever. Did that fall through? A package didn't arrive or something? Because you know Michelle doesn't need anything from you other than your love, and just being there for her."

"It wasn't something I could wrap up," Emily replied, her voice finally cracking with emotion. "It was meant to be so much more than that," she barely kept her tears at bay, but quickly pulled on another mask of false courage. "I just want you to go right now. Please."

"Emily…"

She pushed his hands away from her waist. "Please."

"Okay," he reluctantly agreed. "But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on you. Not now, not ever," he vowed. "If you need… _anything_," Derek stressed the word. "I will be here for you in a heartbeat," he concluded, leaning forward just enough to brush his lips across her forehead. He wanted more, to hold on to her and never let go. But he'd give her space at the moment, some time to figure out what she really wanted. He hoped that was all she needed. Time.

Her heart pounded in her skull as she watched him slip out the door. Emily was torn between wanting to go after him and wishing he would stay away for good. Only her sister's voice managed to get through to her. "You are not fine, Emily."

The younger woman walked back to the sofa and sunk down. She realized Michelle was nowhere to be found and guessed Anna had shooed the girl upstairs in order to talk privately. "It's nothing you need to worry about."

"Stop trying to protect me," Anna immediately replied. "I can tell something is eating you up inside. I see it in your eyes, and the tension of your hands. Please, tell me what is wrong," she implored.

A memory flooded Emily, recalling how she'd gotten Anna to open up shortly after they'd first met. That connection between them had been so strong even before they knew the truth about being sisters. She realized it was her turn to lean on Anna. The words spilled out in a jumble, but her older sister understood. Anna listened and offered what comfort she could. Then Emily bravely plucked the photo out of her pants pocket where she'd folded it and stowed the item for safe keeping.

One of Anna's fingers traced the man's small face, but her eyes never betrayed what she was feeling inside. "I always thought you looked so much like mother, but here," she continued to outline the picture. "Around the eyes… and his chin. I never noticed that before. Maybe I just didn't want to see it."

Emily's lips mashed together as she tried to understand what her sister was saying. Her profiler mind didn't have to work very hard to figure it out. She knew almost instantly what Anna was implying. Emily shot to her feet and took several steps away from her sister. She retreated, out of the living room, down the entry hall, and toward the door. Not even Anna's voice could compete with the unconscious flight of her feet.

"Please do not leave, Emily," Anna slowly and painfully stood. "I cannot follow you…" the front door opened and closed without another word from her sister. On the kitchen counter Anna spotted Emily's phone. Near the door was her bag. Only her car keys had been swiped from the table by the door on her way out.

Anna could only think of one thing to do.

xxx

He stood in the kitchen holding the photograph of Emily's mother and a man Anna had just told him was Emily's real father. "You're sure?" Derek hated to ask for confirmation, knowing the horrible ordeal that Anna had endured during her years spent with the man. But he needed to know everything that was going on in order to help Emily. He needed to figure out her state of mind. But if what Anna claimed was true, he feared Emily's state of mind was anything but stable.

"This man, Richard Hayes, he's the one I knew as Eli Wallace," she confirmed.

"Damn it," Morgan swore under his breath. But he didn't allow himself much time to dwell on the issue. He dialed Garcia straight away and barely spoke a greeting before getting to the point of his call. "I know Emily asked you to find information on her real father, and I know you gave her the name Richard Hayes," Morgan didn't bother with the details of how he'd learned those facts. "What else do you know?"

"_She didn't seem very interested in finding out more_," Penelope replied.

Derek nodded knowingly to himself. "But you searched anyhow," he guessed.

"_I did_," the tech revealed.

A feeling of guilt wafted over him, but it only lasted a second. He didn't like prying into Emily's life, but he was too worried to care at the moment. "I believe Richard Hayes is the man who kidnapped Anna and held her all those years. Did you find anything to confirm that?"

"_Oh, God_," a sharp intake of breath followed her words. "_Eliot Meadows_," she whispered.

"What? Who is that?" Derek demanded.

"_I told Emily that Richard Hayes died in a car accident around the time she was a baby_," Garcia began to explain. "_But after she left I found police reports that indicated he hadn't actually been the one to die that night. It was a friend of his, Eliot Meadows. Authorities concluded that he faked his death or was killed some other way, because he was never heard from again_."

Morgan thought that made sense, but it was only part of the puzzle solved. "So, he took on his friend's name. He went by Eli, but what about the name Wallace? Where does that factor into the picture?" he pondered aloud.

"_Wallace was Richard's mother's maiden name_," Garcia revealed. "_I didn't think that much of it when I came across the information. I didn't connect the two until just now when you said he was the one who kidnapped Anna_," she took a quick breath. "_Is Emily okay? I can't imagine that she is, but_…"

"I don't know where she is, baby girl," Morgan cut in. "She took off when she pieced all this together herself. Did you tell her anything about Richard Hayes? Maybe where he grew up? Any living relatives of his? Somewhere she would have gone to… I don't know, to confront the past?"

"_No_," Garcia's voice was little more than a whisper. "_I just gave her the photo_."

His head bobbed again. "I need a favor from you, darling."

"_Anything_," she agreed.

A few seconds later he ended the call and faced Anna again. "We figured out that Margaret Wilson was Eric's biological mother and that she killed her ex and took her son. But we never bothered to ask the question of why he took you."

"He was not coming after me that night, was he?" Anna realized. "He wanted to take the baby. He wanted Emily."

Morgan swallowed. "Most likely," he sighed. "Did Emily say anything else before she left? Do you know where she might have been going?"

"No, she was just quiet. So quiet. I wanted to go after her, but…"

He squeezed Anna's shoulder in a comforting manner. "Where would she go?" Derek thought aloud. "What about her weapon?" he finally asked with a heavy heart. Derek didn't want to believe she'd do anything as foolish as hurting herself, but he couldn't be sure. All he could remember was staring into her eyes earlier that evening. She'd looked so lost to him. He berated himself for not trying harder to get through to her.

Anna felt a little queasy. "She knew that I did not like having the gun around, even when she kept it locked in her bedroom. She started to keep it locked in a box under the passenger seat of her car," she explained.

Derek took a deep breath. "Garcia will be here in fifteen minutes, twenty tops. But I need to go find Emily now," he let her know, edging his way toward the door.

"Yes, of course," Anna nodded her understanding. "Please, go. We will be fine."

xxx

Derek peered through the rain splattered windshield of his SUV. The wipers were on their highest setting and still not doing a very good job of keeping the window clear enough to see. He steered the vehicle as carefully as possible through the downpour, but he was mostly driving aimlessly through DC. He'd called Hotch, Rossi, JJ and Reid asking them all in the vaguest of words if they'd heard from or seen Emily. Their answers had all been the same; a resounding no. He gripped the wheel tighter as a horn blared and a car swerved dangerously close to get out of his way.

He finally pulled to a curb realizing his emotions were going to get him killed if he didn't pull it together. Derek closed his eyes for a few moments, hands still glued to the wheel, wipers still whooshing back and forth across the windshield. An idea struck him and he cautiously pulled into traffic again. Morgan wasn't sure about his instincts at the moment, but he did recall that the place he was headed held some of his favorite memories with Emily. He prayed it did for her as well.

The park's gravel parking lot was completely empty except for one dark car. Even with his headlights blazing the way, Derek couldn't be sure it was hers until he was right up on it. Even then the license number was what confirmed it for him. He cut his engine, pocketed his keys and jumped out of the SUV. The interior dome light in her car was on, passenger side door wide open. Rain hit the back of his neck in heavy pelting drops as he squatted down. Her car was practically flooded inside as he reached underneath the seat for the metal box Anna had mentioned. He found it there, unlocked and empty.

"No," he whispered softly. "Come on, Emily, don't do this," Morgan stood and spun around to face the pitch blackness of the park's surroundings. "Please don't do anything stupid," he whispered again, trying to get his bearings. When he finally worked out the direction he believed their jogging and bike path to be, he headed off at a slow pace, mindful of the branches and rocks underfoot.

Only seconds into his heading he heard a loud bang in the distance and saw a bright flash of light through the trees. For a moment he tried to make himself believe it was thunder and lightning, except there'd been no thunder storm warnings for the night, only rain. Thunder and lightning rarely came at the same time. In fact, there was only one real explanation for what he'd just seen and heard. "Gunshot," the word was swallowed by the night as he ran faster.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 14

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Derek believed himself to be a good runner, though not as good as when he'd been younger, before the college knee injury that had knocked him out of contention for pro football. He still ran, though, mostly in the form of chasing after suspects; following them into buildings, onto moving trains and through the woods. But Derek was certain he'd never moved as fast as he was now, sprinting down the trail he and Emily had traversed many weekends over the last several months; the trail he'd veered off in order to finally tell her how he felt, and to show her with a kiss that he was very serious about his words. Those memories caused his legs to pump even faster.

Finally he managed to spot the clearing where his insistence of doing sit-ups had often riled her. He peered around the area, eyes darting from one shadowy oak tree to the next. But it was near a small copse of tall fir trees that he caught a glimpse of movement in the dark. "Emily?" Morgan's heart leapt into his throat as he called out her name over the thundering pound of rainfall. "Is that you?" he slowly edged toward the trees, one hand resting against the weapon at his hip.

He rounded the corner and found her there on the ground, head resting against the tree, legs crossed. If it weren't for the horrendous rain storm and the gun resting in her lap he might of thought she was simply relaxing. But he knew better. Derek sunk to his knees in front of her. She was drenched and her eyes were closed. "Emily, are you hurt?" he tried to rouse her and was thankful when her eyes opened upon hearing his voice. "I thought I heard a gunshot, I thought maybe you'd…"

She looked past him, into the darkness of night. "I shot the tree," her voice was devoid of any emotion, but one hand rose to wave in the direction of the other fir tree across from where she was sitting on the muddy ground. Her hand fell limply back to her lap.

That answer did little to quell his worry, but Derek stayed with her as she seemed reluctant to move. He grabbed her gun, made sure the safety was on again, and stuffed it into the back waistband of his jeans. "We should get you home," Morgan said. "It's freezing out here. If the temperature drops another few degrees this rain is going to turn into snow," he reached a hand out to her, hoping to help her up. But she batted him away.

"I don't want to go home," she responded dismally. "I don't want to see her."

"See who?" he asked, even though he quickly guessed the person in question. "Anna?" Derek had a feeling he knew what was prompting her refusal to go home. "Em, she loves you. She knows the truth, so do I, but it doesn't make a difference."

"It does to me," Emily replied.

Morgan wanted to believe the fact she was talking was a good sign, but he worried it might not be. With each successive word she seemed to be drifting further into a well of guilt. "What he did had nothing to do with you."

"He wanted me that night!" she shouted over the storm. "How does that have nothing to do with me?"

At least she'd shown some emotion, Derek reasoned as he tried again to reach her. "You're probably right about him coming after you," he agreed, just like he had when Anna had voiced the same concern earlier. "But according to what you told me about your father's recollection of events that night, I'd say you did your best to try and alert someone that something was wrong. The reason you started crying was probably because he was in your room. Maybe he reached for you, but you fought back the only way you knew how."

Emily's eyes closed. "So then he went after her," she whispered. "He took her and he hurt her; for so many years, Derek. He hurt her and it should have been me."

"No," he reached for her again. His hand rested on her shoulders as he faced her; uncertain if she was crying or the rain was running down from her scalp. "It should not have been you; it shouldn't have been Anna either. You can't blame yourself for any of this." He felt her body shaking, but again he couldn't be sure if it was from sorrow or the cold. Probably a combo of the two, he guessed. "Come on," Derek finally eased her to her feet. "I'll take you…"

"I told you I don't want to go home," she reiterated, eyes wide open again, shrugging out of his grasp.

"Then we'll go somewhere else, but you need to get out of this rain," he insisted, not taking no for an answer as he gently grasped her left arm.

Derek led her to his SUV and made sure she was settled inside the dry vehicle before he went to quickly lock up her car. "We'll come back for that later, or I'll call someone to pick it up," he told her as he jumped into the driver's seat. She made no response as Morgan steered the vehicle to his home. He was glad that Emily didn't protest as they entered the small Craftsman house he was living in while fixing it up. "Sorry about the paint cans," he waved a hand toward the items clogging his entry hall. "I still can't seem to find the right shade I want for the kitchen."

He watched her move into the living room, her gaze barely leaving the floor. "How about a drink?" Emily suggested. "Wine, beer… vodka…"

"I might have something," Derek ducked into the kitchen, briefly grabbing two beers from his fridge. He opened them both and returned to find Emily standing in the same spot, dripping and shivering. "Maybe you'd rather take a shower?" he asked.

She took the three steps forward necessary to remove one of the bottles from his hands and downed half of it in one gulp. "Sure, why not," Emily handed the bottle back to him and turned around. "Upstairs, I assume?"

Morgan nodded as she set off toward the staircase. He promptly discarded both beers on a nearby table and followed her up. "There's only one bathroom in working order," he explained, guiding her to the main bedroom with attached bath. Derek pulled out a fresh towel for her and handed over one of his t-shirts and some sweat pants. "Take your time," he insisted before leaving her to it.

Downstairs again, Derek took one small drink of his beer and then poured the rest of each bottle down the kitchen sink drain. He didn't think adding more alcohol to Emily's fragile state of mind was going to do any good. Then he made two short phone calls as he waited. Forty-five minutes passed and he could still hear the shower running above him. After an hour his concern grew great enough to send him back up the stairs. Morgan knocked on the bathroom door. "Emily, you okay in there?"

Several seconds passed before she gave a faint, "Yeah."

By then he was too worried to go back downstairs. He stayed in his bedroom, kicking off his shoes and shedding the wet clothes he'd been wearing. Clean boxer briefs went on, as well as a pair of sweats similar to the ones he'd handed Emily. When he was done the bathroom door opened and she exited, wearing only his white Northwestern t-shirt with the purple _Wildcats_ text across the front. "I called Garcia, she's staying the night with Anna and Michelle," he let her know.

"Thanks," she replied softly.

"And Rossi is going to pick up your car in the morning, take it back to your place," Derek relayed.

There was no acknowledgment of his second comment as Emily moved closer to where he was standing by the queen-sized bed. Her shoulder-length hair was damp, clinging to her head. Her feet were bare as they closed the gap between her and Derek. Emily's hands clasped behind his neck and her lips crushed against his. She kissed him like he was the only thing able to save her from drowning. Her hips pressed against his, a thin layer of clothing the only thing separating their flesh.

"Emily," he exhaled her name as he tried to peel her away from his body. "Not like this…"

She barely let go of him long enough to switch tactics, rubbing the palms of her hands down his bare chest and further south. "Your body isn't saying no."

He took several quick breaths, focusing his thoughts and finally managing to hold her at arm's length. "But my lips are," Derek finally replied. "And I don't want to take advantage of you like this. You're hurting, you're upset, you're not thinking straight."

"_So!_" she spat the word at him. "I don't care. Take advantage, please," Emily begged.

"Not like this," he maintained, seeing her start to crack a little; a tear in her left eye, the downturn of her lips. She was breaking his heart all over again, just like seeing her earlier, in the park, had. "I want it to be so much more than this."

Her head shook, still fighting him. "That's right. You want it to be _special_," her eyes rolled as she spoke the last word with accusation. "Well, I have a little news flash for you, Morgan. I'm not special," Emily's voice broke. "I'm just the bastard child of a man who liked to torture kids in the cellar of his barn!"

Derek saw her spiraling further and all he could do was keep trying to break through. "Hey," he reached out for her, wanting to pull her close again.

But she moved away, edging toward the door. "You're right. You don't want this. You don't need this kind of mess in your life," Emily made a final dash for the door.

Morgan was faster, beating her there and blocking the way out. He stood, arms at his side, eye begging her to listen. "Being in a relationship, loving someone, it's not just about enjoying the good times or having sex," Derek spoke softly but emphatically. "It means you're in it for the long haul. You love everything, the good and bad. You stay around through the fights, the breakdowns, the depression… birth, death and everything in between. And that's what I'm here for right now."

Emily swallowed. "No one has ever wanted all of that from me," she whispered. "Not Matthew, not even my parents. Matthew couldn't handle it all, and my parents wanted some model of a perfect child that I could never be. And growing up, other kids always wanted something from me, money, help with homework, even sex. In exchange I could be their friend. But it was never real, never like what you just described."

"I'm sorry you were treated that way, I truly am," he said. Derek made another move to touch her, just one hand against her waist. She didn't back away. He added his other hand. "But all of that is in the past now, Emily. I'm right here, though, wanting to be your future, wanting to be beside you through it all. For _real_," he insisted, slowly guiding her back into the room and then onto his bed where they laid down beside each other, his arms still around her. "And I don't want anything from you other than what you can give. I just want you to be the woman I fell in love with." Morgan kissed her lips and looked her in the eye. "Je t'aime, Emily."

She recalled hearing him say those words in Garcia's lair earlier. He'd sounded so sincere then, but even more so now. "I feel like such an idiot for what I just did to you," Emily lamented, laying her head against a pillow and concentrating on making her heart beat a little slower.

"Please don't," he replied. "Any other day I wouldn't have been able to stop myself," Derek whispered to her. "And I have no idea how I'd react in your situation."

Several deep breaths calmed her even more, along with the gentle warmth of his body against hers. "I'm tired… so tired," Emily said.

"Then sleep. I'll watch over you," he heard the words emit from his mouth and was reminded of some corny movie line, but Derek didn't care. He did want to watch over her; protect her if he could. Because he loved her more than he ever imagined possible, and he hadn't truly realized that until the moment he'd heard that gunshot in the park. He pulled her closer and her head moved a little so it was resting against his chest. "Sleep," he whispered.

Emily allowed herself to be taken over by the weight of sleep, but she whispered back; words that echoed his earlier ones. "Je t'aime, Derek."

xxx

As bad as the previous day had been, Emily woke the next morning feeling the smallest bit hopeful that things weren't as dire as they'd seemed. She had a pretty good feeling that her slightly raised spirits were due to the man who was lying next to her. Emily didn't think she'd ever come to depend on anyone so much. There was a time in her life when she would have considered that a weakness on her part. But she was slowly starting to recognize that leaning on people was hardly a sign of weakness, and more a sign of trust and love.

She turned to face him, scooting even closer beneath the blue satin sheets, their clothing still a cumbersome burden between them. "Good morning," Emily whispered.

Derek felt himself drifting further away from sleep, his body satiated and cozy as he lay snuggled beside Emily. He opened his eyes and was pleased to find her there. "I was afraid you'd be gone this morning. I tried not to fall asleep last night, but apparently I lost that battle."

"Yeah, well I figured it wouldn't really be worth it to try sneaking off or avoiding you," she returned. "You would have just tracked me down again."

Derek nodded, knowing it was true. He brushed his fingertips over her cheek. "So, you're giving in?"

Emily's lips curled ever so slightly. "Yes, I surrender… fully and willingly," she laughed softly, but quickly stopped herself.

"It's okay to be happy," he propped himself up on one elbow, his palm smoothing along her bare arm. Derek let out a heavy breath. "I was really worried about you last night. When I heard that gunshot I thought maybe…"

"I was suicidal?" she asked, watching his eyes cloud over with concern. "I was very angry. I'm still so angry. I'm pissed off at my parents and…" Emily trailed off, unable to collect her thoughts very well.

He stayed there with her, eyes still locked, worry still etched along his brow. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she responded rather quickly, but a confused sigh followed the word. "I don't know," she added. "I guess I should, right?"

Morgan shrugged. "I'm probably not the best example to follow when it comes to talking things over, considering it took me five years to tell you I love you."

She couldn't help smiling a little to hear those words again. But her thoughts drifted back to her anger. "It's just… I know I shouldn't dwell on it, right?" Emily wasn't sure she really wanted an answer to that. "It's not as though I can go back in time and change the fact that my mother cheated on my father, or that my… the man who's DNA makes up half of my genetic code kidnapped and tortured my sister. Nothing is ever going to change that."

"You're right, nothing will," he agreed.

"And even as pissed off as I am about everything right now, I'd never wish to be unborn," she concluded.

"Unborn?" Derek cracked a small smile as he kissed her forehead. "I don't want you to be unborn either," he let her know.

Her bottom lip was unconsciously sucked inward as she continued to contemplate her emotions. "But I still feel… with all of this coming to light, I feel one step closer to that niggling feeling in the back of my head, the one I've asked myself about before, the one I've asked you about before," she paused, taking a deep breath. "If he could become such a horrible person, do those horrible things… then maybe I have that in me as well?"

"You're not him, Emily," Derek was quick to fan out the flame of her fears. "None of us do our job, day after day, without having those same sorts of thoughts enter our minds," he reminded her. "But there is a fine line between thinking about it and doing it. Richard Hayes crossed that line, for whatever reason. But you are not Richard Hayes, Emily. You are your own person, a smart, funny, nerdy, beautiful woman, inside and out. You value life and you do whatever you can to make sure people, strangers on a daily basis, are safe from harm."

Emily drew strength from his words, and was pretty sure she couldn't love him any more than she did at that very moment. "Do you know what today is?"

"Tuesday," Derek went along with her shift in topic, curious about where it was leading.

"Yes, that too," Emily nodded. "But I was thinking more along the lines of it being…" she leaned in and kissed his lips, whispering the last three words she had to say against his mouth. "Any other day."

She kissed him again, more demanding, more needful. He felt her hands explore his body, and his body reacted just as it had the night before. Derek knew exactly what she'd been referring to, and he couldn't deny any longer how much he wanted to be with her in that way. Mere seconds later, not even a t-shirt or sweat pants stood between them as he finally showed her just how special she really was.

Hours later, their bodies rode out the last waves of passion and crashed upon the shore of Derek's bed. Silence and sleep claimed them once again, until the shrill sounds of a cell phone interrupted their sanctuary. Morgan groaned in protest as he sat up, searching for the phone he'd discarded on the nightstand. He glanced at the small alarm clock he kept there and finally realized how late it was. They still had jobs, and unfortunately life didn't wait for those newly in love.

Morgan finally answered, but barely spoke a greeting before his ear was assaulted. "Garcia, calm down and tell me what…" he listened as she spoke a little more slowly over the line. Derek's heart sunk as he realized what she was saying. "Okay," he tried not to reveal too much to Emily just yet. "We'll be there," he disconnected.

"What?" she asked. "A case?"

"No, it's Anna," he revealed. "We need to get to the hospital."

xxx

The hospital room was small, but private. Emily figured her parents had arranged at least that much for their oldest child. However, she'd spotted her mother down the hall sipping a cup of coffee and staring blankly out a window. Not exactly the kind of mothering Anna needed at the moment, but the last thing Emily wanted right now was to start an argument. Not while her sister was hooked to some machine and looking paler than usual.

"Apparently all the Chemo has finally taken a toll on her kidneys," Joseph Prentiss whispered hoarsely from his seat in the corner of the room. He looked away from Anna to face Emily. "Doctor said her left kidney has completely failed, and she's on dialysis," he motioned toward the large white machine beside Anna's bed. "Her right kidney is still holding on," he concluded.

Emily was stuck for a moment between wanting to cry and scream as she regarded the several tubes linking her sister and the machine, which was ferrying blood back and forth. Then she spotted Michelle who was curled up beside Anna on the bed. She was doing her best to avoid all the connections while still holding on tightly to her mother. The child's green eyes regarded her aunt. "You weren't home this morning to help mommy," Michelle croaked.

"Shh," Anna's voice was so soft that Emily barely noticed it at first. Her sister ran a hand over Michelle's cheek in a reassuring manner. "It's not her fault," she whispered to the girl while managing to smile at her sister. "It is no one's fault." Anna beckoned her sister over. "Sit with me, please?" she weakly patted the other side of her bed and was happy when Emily sat on the end corner.

Michelle stared at her aunt for a second before speaking again. "I'm sorry," the girl apologized.

One hand was extended to the child as Emily patted the girl's leg. "It's okay, chaton." She wished her own guilt could be so easily forgiven.

Anna again tried to keep the peace, looking to her father. "Daddy was just telling us about what I wanted to be when I grew up."

Joseph smiled, and Emily noticed how much he and Anna looked alike. She felt a pang of regret that she'd never look like him. And she was sure Anna had never referred to him as, daddy, before. Emily felt like she was living in some dream, uncertain how to function. "What did Anna want to be?" she finally joined in, trying to turn the room's somber mood around, despite her confusion.

"When she was four years old, Anna told me she wanted to be a princess, and a doctor, and a mommy," he revealed with a soft chuckle.

"One out of three is not so bad," Anna grinned as she quickly kept the conversation rolling. "What did Emily want to be?"

Their father's smile remained. "A super hero."

"No, I didn't," Emily protested.

"Oh yes," the man nodded. He sat up a little straighter; his brown cable knit sweater and blue jeans a sharp contrast to his normal business attire. "You were about five or six when you told me that. I believe we were living in Germany at the time and you spotted some _Wonder Woman_ comic that you were mesmerized by. And later there was a show you watched, I remember you talking about it, but I can't recall now what it was."

A smile bloomed without warning on Emily's face. "You're probably talking about _The Bionic Woman_," she admitted to the guilty pleasure show.

He nodded, seeing the opening he'd been hoping for. "Emily, you know your mother and I only ever wanted…"

"I don't want to hear whatever excuses you and mother came up with last night after I left," Emily halted his words and made a move to get up, but Anna gripped her hand tighter than she could have guessed her sister capable. "I should go," Emily protested.

"No, please," Anna replied.

It was Joseph who stood and made a move toward the door. "Anna's right. You should stay with your sister. The two of you should have some time," he conceded.

Anna turned to her daughter. "Why don't you go with your grandfather, maybe you can get some hot chocolate," she suggested.

The man nodded his agreement as Michelle reluctantly got up. "Come on, peanut," Joseph put an arm around the girl's shoulders and guided her out.

Emily exhaled heavily as she sat facing her sister. There were so many thoughts spinning around in her head, but she couldn't find the right words to explain everything to her sister. "Anna, I…"

"Please, do not say it," Anna spoke up first. She watched her younger sister's confusion double. "I know you were about to apologize for being that man's child, or for what he did to me, or something equally out of your control. But I do not want your apologies, Emily. I just want…" she smiled mysteriously. "I just want to know if you and Derek slept together last night.

The younger sister's mouth hung open for a long time before she rediscovered the use of words. "What?"

"Sex, is what I meant to say," Anna clarified. "There is a different look about you. You're happier, even though you keep hiding it behind feelings of guilt," she observed. "So, was it as wonderful as you imagined?" Anna asked with a curious grin. There was another long pause. "Come on, I may be dying, and maybe I haven't had sex in a long time, but I do know these things happen. And I know how much you love him, and he loves you."

Again the room was quiet for a moment. "Yes," Emily finally answered. Her single word spoke volumes and they actually broke out in giggles. "How is it you're able to make me laugh at a time like this?

Anna responded with a shrug. "I just want you to be happy."

"How do you do it?" Emily asked, her laughter gone again. "How can you lay here in this bed, your kidneys giving out on you and yet… you want to talk about my sex life like we're teenage girls, and you act as if Richard Hayes being my father is no big deal."

"It is not, because he is not your father," the older woman stated. "He did not raise you, he did not love you. A man named Joseph Prentiss did that. And maybe he was not perfect either, but he calls you pumpkin and I know for a fact he would die before he let anything bad happen to you. _That_ is what a father does." Anna took a shaky breath as she smiled for her sister's benefit. "My life was not easy, and there are things I still have nightmares about. But the past cannot be changed, Emily, and I would not try even if I could. Because I had Eric, and he gave me Michelle, and he led me to you. That is what I choose to focus on."

Emily bit back tears. "I don't know how to do that," she admitted.

"I know, because you are like our mother," Anna stroked her sister's hand. "She does not know how to let go of the past either."

A soft knock sounded at the door and both women turned to watch Derek stick his head in. Seeing he was welcome, Derek stepped fully inside the room. He made his way toward the bed and leaned down to kiss Anna's cheek. "How are you doing?" he asked.

"I've had better days," Anna remarked.

He nodded, having heard a report from Garcia about what was going on. But he smiled to hear Anna in good spirits. Then his attention turned to Emily, even though he directed his question toward Anna. "Can I steal her away for a few minutes?"

Anna smiled happily. "Certainly," she agreed, winking at her sister as they exited the room.

They'd maneuvered through the hospital corridors for several minutes before Emily finally spoke. "I feel like most of my life has been spent surviving, getting by while not being very engaged in what was going on around me," she revealed to him. "When Anna showed up with Michelle, and you started to become much more than a friend, I started to feel like I was alive. Finally. Like I had a family for the first time. And I thought if my mother could just get past her guilt, or whatever it was she was feeling about Anna… then we could all really be happy. But losing Anna will destroy it all again," she gulped. "I wanted to help her so badly, but now I can't."

"Yes you can, Emily," Derek took her hand. "You're so much stronger than you realize," he relayed. "You help Anna every day just by being there for her; by loving her," he squeezed her hand. "And there are some people here I'd like you to see, people who want to help you and Anna."

"What people? I don't want to see anyone," Emily protested as they rounded a corner and saw the back of several heads standing in a line.

"You'll want to see them. Trust me," he guided her further until they were at the back of the line.

Garcia turned around first, smiling brightly to see her friends. Then JJ and Reid turned to face Emily, followed by Rossi and Hotch. Will was there, and Kevin. Emily spotted other people from the bureau, even Anderson. "What is this?" she asked.

"Blood drive," Penelope answered. "Plus our donations will be tissue typed and added to the _National Marrow Donor Registry_."

"Which is actually referred to now as the, _Be the Match Registry_," Reid supplied.

"We all want to be tested," Rossi added.

Emily looked to Derek again. "You arranged this?"

His head shook. "I just mentioned it to Penelope last night when we talked."

"And I contacted JJ," Garcia piped in.

"And I approached Strauss very early this morning about the idea," JJ explained. "She agreed to give us the time today to make this happen."

"I figured you'd want to be a part of it," Derek said, giving Emily's hand another squeeze. Neither of them cared that Hotch was standing right there watching every move they made. "I know you wanted to help Anna, but this way maybe you can help someone else. And maybe someone else can still help Anna."

xxx

Emily and Derek returned to Anna's room after their blood draws. Infused by her friend's amazing outpouring of support, Emily was hoping for a lighter atmosphere to the rest of the day after everything that had already occurred. But as soon as she spotted her parents at Anna's bedside, and saw the serious look in their eyes, Emily knew her wish had been just that. "I'll give you all some time," she said, turning back toward the door where Derek was rooted.

"You wanted to know the truth the other day," Elizabeth spoke up.

"Excuse me?" Emily spun around, facing her mother.

The ambassador stood beside her older daughter's bed, where Michelle was once again curled up with Anna. "Yesterday you said you wanted the truth, but you ran off before I could tell you everything. So, since I listened to what you had to say to me, I feel it's only right you do the same and listen to what I have to say."

"Such as?" Emily shrugged; not thinking her mother had anything to say that would make her feel any different. "Why daddy claims he didn't know if I was his daughter or not, but Richard Hayes seemed to know. That's why he came after me, wasn't it?"

"No," her mother replied as everyone else in the room remained deathly silent; too worried about leaving them along, too curious not to listen. "He believed he loved me after that one night we spent together," she glossed over the details of her affair. "When he found out I was pregnant, he... there was never any test, but he assumed."

A wordless scoff escaped Emily's lips. "Well, he assumed right."

"Your father left for a while after what happened, and Char… Anna went to stay with my parents," Elizabeth continued. "Richard was relentless for some time, harassing me. When your father returned and we agreed to work things out, Richard stopped contacting me. I didn't hear anything about him until I believed he'd died in that accident."

Emily sighed. "But in reality, he met a woman named Margaret who he no doubt spilled his guts to," she guessed, her profiler mind whirring. "And she'd recently gone through a divorce, lost custody of her son. I'm sure she was all too happy to earwig him into believing that kidnapping me would be the perfect addition to killing her ex and taking her son." Emily began to piece it together, and a sickening thought struck her. "Did you know he was the one who took Anna?"

"You were crying," Joseph spoke up from beside his wife. "He probably heard me coming for you and decided to take Charlotte," he couldn't stop himself from using his daughter's birth name. "She was his security."

"Security?" Emily swallowed hard, growing closer to her answers.

"Richard contacted us afterward," Elizabeth confirmed. "He offered us a trade."

She knew exactly what her mother meant. "Trading me for Anna? And you considered it?"

"Only for the purposes of getting Anna back," the ambassador's voice wavered. "We never had any intention of handing you over. He told us not to involve the police, but we didn't obey that order. Richard never showed to make the trade, though, so I guess he found out."

Joseph held his wife's hand. "The police had no leads. There was nothing of Richard Hayes to be found, and no Amber alert back then. So we did what we had to in order to survive. We buried Charlotte, and then we went on with our lives."

Elizabeth looked to her daughters. "I had an impossible choice to make. I did what any parent would've; I tried to hold on to both of you. But I failed you both."

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth?" Emily asked.

"To protect you," her mother replied.

"You mean to protect _yourself_," Emily accused. She finally left the room, not able to listen any more. She knew Derek was right behind her, following her down the hall. He stood beside her when she stopped in a dimly lit alcove and leaned against the wall. He waited for her in silent support. But a phone interrupted her thoughts and she roughly flipped open her cell. "What?"

"_Have you figured it out yet_?" a female voice asked.

It took only a second for Emily to realize who she was talking to, even though she'd never heard the woman's voice before. "That Richard Hayes was my father. Yeah, it's kind of old news now. Why didn't you just come out and say that if you knew?" She watched Derek's eyes widen in a questioning manner and stabbed the speaker phone button so he could listen to Margaret Wilson.

"_Richard became obsessed with your mother for some reason, but I was able to use that desire to manipulate him. I made him want me instead, and I opened his eyes to the possibility that you were his child and rightfully belonged with us. But he screwed that up, just like he screwed up everything. We couldn't get our hands on you and he went crazy because of it_."

"Really?" Emily did her best not to feel any more guilt for things she had no control over. "And your interference in his life didn't have anything to do with that?"

"_He might have been a better person if we'd gotten our hands on you, because that sister of yours was worthless. She fought being my daughter, and she turned my son against me_."

"There was no way he could've been a better person as long as you were pulling his strings," Emily relayed. "And you were far too self-absorbed to ever let yourself be anyone's mother. You stood by and let your own son be tortured."

"_I still don't think you've figured it out_," Margaret replied, calm as could be. "_What I really want._"

Emily's stomach twisted with paralyzing understanding. "I won't let you near her."

"_She is my grandchild. I have as much right to her as you do. And with her mother gone soon, she'll need proper guidance. I'll teach her everything I was supposed to teach you. She's going to right the wrongs of the past_."

"You're more insane than I've been giving you credit," Emily replied. The line went dead. She closed the phone and faced Derek. "How much?"

Morgan rested a hand against her back in a comforting manner. "I don't know what you mean, Em. How much what?"

She sighed. "How much can one person endure before they want to shoot something other than a tree?"

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 15

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Sunlight shone through the long narrow windows as she traversed the familiar corridors of her sister's hospital. Emily wasn't sure when she'd come to think of it as Anna's hospital; it just sounded a little more personal to her. As she adjusted the brown canvas bag slung over her left shoulder, Emily gave a nod to a male nurse named Tony who she'd gotten to know. And a smile flashed to the female nurse on duty, Candice, who had become a good friend to Anna over the last three months.

At first Anna had only been in and out for her dialysis treatments, usually four hours a day for four days in a row. Back then she'd been able to go home after her treatments and spend time with Michelle. Emily had even hired a private nurse for that block of time. But two weeks ago she'd been admitted due to a bad cold and hadn't been able to leave yet. The chemo had left her vulnerable to even the most benign illness. And the BAU blood and tissue testing drive hadn't yielded a donor.

Emily knocked on the door as a courtesy, but headed straight in without a response. She stopped in her tracks, spotting Rossi seated at her sister's bedside, his hand against Anna's blanket-covered thigh. "I… uh…" she stumbled over her words. "I'm sorry, I'll come back later." Emily backed toward the door.

"No," Rossi stopped her, getting to his feet. "I should be going, actually," he smiled at Anna and leaned in to kiss her.

Both brows rose as Emily watched their lips meet in a kiss. She wasn't sure what the relationship was between her colleague and sister, but the exchange seemed more than sociable. He passed her on the way to the door and Emily gave him a thin-lipped smile. "You really don't have to go."

"It's okay," he gently patted her shoulder. "She loves her time with you," Dave smiled genuinely as he departed.

Turning around again, Emily faced her sister. "So…" she moved toward the bed and sat down her tote bag, which was filled nearly to bursting with magazines, books, a deck of cards and even some puzzles that Michelle had packed for her mother. "How's Dave doing?" Emily asked.

Anna was propped by several satiny pillows that Michelle had helped Emily pick. Her legs were covered by a Kelly-green cashmere blanket from her parents. The rest of her was draped in a lavender robe Garcia had given her as a gift. And her scalp sported a coordinating purple and green silk scarf. "David is well," she smiled. "He's been such a dear friend. Today he read to me from a new book."

"Just a friend, huh?" Emily questioned. "Because that kiss seemed more than friendly. I mean, you two haven't… well, you're not really up for _that_, are you?"

"I believe it would have to be David who was up for it," Anna grinned.

"Oh, God!" Emily cringed, covering her ears with her hands. "I need a mental picture eraser now, thank you very much." Her hands went back to her sides, resting against the soft cotton of her gray slacks. She shuddered, thinking it was a bit like walking in on your parents having sex, which she had thankfully never done. "You do know I have to work with him, right?"

The elder sister chuckled softly, but it turned in to a fit of raspy coughing. Anna grasped the glass of water Emily poured for her and took several small sips. "You work with Derek, too," she mentioned when her throat was finally clear.

"Yeah," Emily agreed as she pulled up a chair and began digging through the bag. She pulled on a teal cardigan because it always seemed chilly in the hospital room, despite it being a warm spring day outside. "But that's different." She spread an array of magazines on Anna's bed; two celebrity rags, three fashion mags, a house remodeling catalogue, a cooking guide and one magazine on knitting, which was something Anna had been interested in ever since receiving Fran's Christmas gift. So far she'd knitted half a scarf, but performing even that simple craft caused her fatigue.

Anna pulled out the book she had tucked beside her. "Have you read this?" she asked.

Emily stared at the front cover for a moment. Her head shook. "Nope."

"It's about a girl with cancer and her parents have another child just to be a genetic donor for her," Anna explained. "David didn't get very far into it yet, so I don't know how it turns out, but it sounds like an interesting story."

"Why on Earth are you reading a book about cancer?" Emily questioned.

Another chuckle escaped Anna's lips, which thankfully didn't turn into a cough. "Should I also not read books about living, breathing, sex, death?"

With a sigh and a why-do-I-bother shake of her head, Emily grabbed one of the celebrity rags, settled back in her plastic-molded chair, kicked off her shoes and rested her feet on Anna's bed. She gently nudged her sister's leg in a playful manner. "You know, some days I wish we'd grown up together and other days I'm pretty sure you would have driven me completely crazy if we had," Emily grinned. She'd often thought how different it would have been with her big sister there as a constant friend in her life. Her smile faded quicker than she would have liked, and the magazine fell to her lap. "I wish I was that genetic match for you."

"I'm glad you are not," Anna was quick to reply. "I would not want you to carry that burden. I wouldn't want you to be upset if you tried to help and could not. Just like I am glad they took me instead of you all those years ago. I am glad I could endure that pain so you did not have to."

As she listened to Anna, Emily tried very hard not to let guilt eat her up inside again, because she'd been working on that for the last three months. At times it almost felt as if she were a recovering addict working on her twelve step program. Step one: let the past go. But there were still so many things she wanted to make right, and so many questions she wanted answered. "What did he do to you?" the words slipped out without warning.

Anna knew without direct mention of his name that her sister was talking about Richard, the man she'd grown up knowing only as Eli. "Emily, you know I'm never going to tell you that."

"Why not?" Emily persisted, tired of trying to push it all aside. She dropped her bare feet to the cold floor and the magazine fell from her lap as she leaned forward. "I know some of it, the things I read in Eric's journal, what little you've said, and what we've all concluded given our profiler backgrounds. It can't be any worse than everything else I've already imagined. I just want to understand what he did and…"

"Imagining and knowing are two very different things," Anna insisted.

Emily took a deep breath. She knew how true her sister's words were. There was a deeper reason behind her curiosity, though. "I'm just not good at sitting," she exhaled. "Doing nothing… feeling completely helpless. I hate it. And I keep thinking that maybe if I knew more about what made him tick then I could avoid it in my life, or…" her thoughts were too scattered to make any sense of them and she dumped her head against Anna's bed, forehead resting on the cashmere blanket.

Anna stroked her sister's dark hair. "I hate it, too," she replied. "Some days I feel as if I have sat through my entire life, unable to do what I really wanted, unable to fight back. Unable to understand why it all happened. But having you here helps more than you could know," Anna insisted. Her book was carefully placed on the rolling table beside her bed as she implored Emily to sit up again. "They found me a donor," she revealed.

"What?" Emily's head popped up.

"There's a young woman in Arizona who went to a donation event recently and her tissue type is an exact match," Anna said. "Can you imagine how a complete stranger would be such a match? The human body is a mysterious thing," she remarked.

Emily didn't give a damn about the mysteries of the human body at that moment. "So, when are they doing the transplant? Or transfusion?" she wondered which route Anna's doctor would choose. "And why didn't you say something earlier?"

"Because that sweet young woman also learned some other wonderful news upon having that blood test done," Anna explained. "She found out that she's pregnant."

Memories of all the reading material Emily had gone over months ago flashed in her mind. "You can't donate if you're pregnant," she concluded, watching her sister nod as if they were simply discussing the weather or where to go for dinner. Emily pushed her chair back and shot to her feet. She paced the room a few times, trying to calm herself with little success. "How can you lay there and be so fucking serene about all of this?" she finally exploded. "It's not fair!" Emily shouted, unconcerned about who in the hospital might overhear her.

"I have lived many years," Anna replied. "Now that baby will have a chance to live."

With a huff, Emily threw up her hands. "What about your baby? What about watching Michelle grow up? What about…" her voice croaked. "What about all the trips around the world we've been planning, and you going to school? You can't just give up."

Anna motioned her sister over, pointing to the empty chair. "Please sit," she whispered.

Emily obeyed, but she wasn't happy about it. "You're not giving up, are you?"

"It's not just my kidneys, Emily," the woman replied. "My chest aches every time I breathe. My liver function is at an all time low…" she decided not to continue the list, but got to the heart of the matter. "Dr. Kirkland says I won't be responsive to any kind of treatment at this point."

"What kind of doctor tells someone that?" Emily was incensed again. "Jeez, why doesn't he just finish you off himself?" she lamented.

"He is only being realistic," Anna replied. "Emily, I… I am in pain, all the time. And I hate the drugs because they make me sleepy, they make me… not me." She watched her sister digest that information. Anna hated putting it on her shoulders, just like everything else that had come down on her sister in the last few months. But she needed someone to understand. "I try not to let it show, for your sake, for our parents, and especially for Michelle. But it hurts," she admitted. "It hurts."

"Then tell me what to do," Emily begged. "Just tell me and I'll do it. Anything. I swear."

Anna smiled. "Will you tell me a story?"

"I…" Emily blinked, surprised by that response. "What?"

"I would like you to tell me a story."

Emily's mouth opened and closed, like a fish gasping for air on a beach. It took her a little bit longer to fully grasp what her sister was saying, and she wasn't sure she understood, but she complied. "I'm not good at fairytales," Emily responded. "And I don't think I could stomach a happily-ever-after at the moment."

"Too bad, because I want a futuristic story with a happy ending," Anna stated. She squeezed her sister's hand and smiled. "I want you to tell me about the day Michelle graduates. I want you to describe that day to me, everything about it."

"Anna, no," Emily immediately protested. "You'll be there…"

The older sister shook her head. "Please, tell me," Anna implored.

Full realization hit Emily like a freight train, but she slowly nodded as she took Anna's hands and tried to be strong for her sister. "Are we talking about her undergrad degree, her masters or her doctorate?" she finally asked, hoping to infuse some lightheartedness into their conversation, which was sure to end on a bittersweet note.

"Actually, I was thinking we would start with high school."

"Okay," Emily agreed. "Um…" she decided to start by setting the scene. "It's a beautiful spring day. Kind of like today, blue skies, sunshine and birds chirping," Emily almost wanted to puke at her own nauseatingly perfect description, but she pressed forward, seeing the smile on Anna's face. "So they decide to have the ceremony outside on the lawn. There are plastic folding chairs set up in rows, and a stage up front. All the graduates are seated in the front rows in their caps and gowns. They're smiling and laughing, thinking they already know everything there is to know about life."

"They have no idea, do they?" Anna grinned.

A smile echoed her older sisters as Emily nodded. "We sit through some speeches, several of them, long boring speeches by the valedictorian and some old guy…"

"Who's there with you?"

That question was an easy one to answer, even though Emily hadn't spoken to her mother in nearly three months. At least nothing more than what was required while passing one another in the hospital corridor or arranging to transfer Michelle back and forth to school. "Her grandparents, of course," Emily stated.

A confirmation nod came from Anna. "And Derek," she supplied.

Emily shrugged. "I suppose he'll still be around, since I can't seem to shake him no matter how hard I try."

"Stop that," Anna admonished, knowing her sister loved Derek a great deal. She also knew how worried her baby sister was of messing things up with him. "The speeches have ended," she prodded her sister back into the story. "What happens next?"

"They start calling the names of all the students," Emily rolled back into the tale. "And there are a lot of them, and Derek makes jokes about some of their unfortunate middle names. Then I ask what his middle name is and he clams up on me," she chuckled, getting very caught up in the story. "Our parents roll their eyes at us and tell us to stop behaving like children."

Anna laughed at that, pleased to hear her sister's jovial tone. "And then they call out Michelle's name, right?"

"Yes," Emily confirmed. "Michelle Elizabeth Prentiss."

"No," Anna shook her head. "That's not the name they call."

A small noise of uncertainty emitted from Emily's mouth as she regarded her sister with questioning eyes. "That's the name you put on her birth certificate. I do remember that from getting her enrolled in school," she noted.

"I know. But this is the future and her name has changed in the future," Anna was adamant on that point.

"Oh no, it hasn't," Emily's brows spiked upward. "She's barely eighteen, she sure as heck better not be married yet for any reason."

The spark of laughter that rolled off Anna's tongue was highly amused. "No," she said. "Of course she is not married. Between you, daddy and Derek I doubt she will be able to date a boy until she is perhaps as old as I am," Anna guessed. "No, the name they call out at her graduation is Michelle Elizabeth Morgan."

"Morgan?" Emily questioned.

Anna nodded. "That is what I see in the future. At least that is what I hope."

Emily didn't know how her sister could sound so hopeful of that fact, knowing what it meant for her in the future. She swallowed the sorrowful lump in her throat and continued. "They call her name and she stands up. She's very tall, taller than me, which she always teases me about. Her hair is cut at shoulder length again, because it's her favorite style," Emily tried not to lose it. "And her green eyes are sparkling in the sunlight as she walks up onto the stage to collect her diploma. She smiles and thanks her principle as they shake hands. Then she faces the crowd again and spots us, waves emphatically, and then hurries back to join her friends.

"Afterward, she weaves her way through the throng of people and hugs her grandparents first. She hugs Derek next and he tries hard to play Mr. tough-guy and not cry, but I can see the tears welled in his eyes," Emily continued. "And then she looks at me and I pretty much lose it. I'm teary and she's teary and she gives me the biggest hug. She thanks me for a whole slew of things that I can't really focus on. All I can think to say is how proud I am of her. And then our eyes lock and I tell her how proud her mom and dad are of her. And I end with something really corny about how you both are watching her."

Realizing she'd acknowledged her sister was dying for the first time, Emily finally broke down. "It's okay," Anna assured her. She let her little sister cry for a short time before reaching for one of the fashion magazines and flipping through the pages. "What do you think of this dress?" Anna asked. "I like the cut of the waist. Certainly a far cry from my _Little House on the Prairie_ days, don't you think?"

A small bubble of laughter rose in Emily's throat as her tears dried. She stared at the red dress and once again marveled at her sister's attitude. "It's not bad. I think it would make you look a little big in the hips, though."

"You might be right," Anna flipped a few pages. "Oh, here," she showed Emily another dress. "This green one is gorgeous. I love the sleeves and the way it drapes at the bottom. Now that one _would_ look good on me."

"You're right," Emily agreed. "Green is a great color on you and that…" she stopped, pausing to think about something. "Crap, Anna, you're not trying to pick out a dress you want to be buried in, are you?"

Anna smiled softly, grateful that her sister had mentioned being buried without protesting or breaking down. "No, not at all. Actually, I want to be cremated," she stated her desire. "And I'd like my ashes to be buried next to Eric, or spread over his grave site. But you could also have a memorial service here. Maybe you could say a few things about me. Hopefully good things," Anna smiled sheepishly as she looked to her sister for some sign of acknowledgment to her wishes.

Emily swallowed hard as she thumbed the magazine page, but she nodded. "Okay."

xxx

He noticed the light was still on in Michelle's room and figured the girl had fallen asleep with it on. But as Derek stepped toward her bed he found that she was still very much awake and tapping away on the cell phone Emily had begrudgingly purchased for her a few months ago. She looked up at him with wide eyes, knowing she'd been caught. "Ellie," she pointed to the phone. "It's still early there and she was missing her dad a lot today and needed a friend."

Morgan knew it was close to the one year anniversary of that loss, and he remembered being the one Ellie had turned to for her support until Michelle had taken on that role. "That's okay, but you need to tell her goodnight now because it's way past your bed time." Derek thought he sounded a lot like his mother just then and wondered how he'd ever come to take on the fathering role in Michelle's life. He watched her typing on the phone and his heart won out for a second. "Tell her goodnight for me."

The nine-year-old smiled as she relayed the message and then turned her phone off. "Ellie says goodnight to you, too," Michelle whispered, sinking down under her sheets a little more. The girl bit down on her lip. "Derek, I told Ellie something but I think I should tell you too. She said I should."

"What is it, sweetness?" He sat down on her bed.

"I've been mean to Emily the last few months," she admitted. "I haven't talked to her very much and sometimes I pretend not to listen when she tells me to do stuff."

Derek already knew most of what had been going on because Emily had mentioned it to him. "Why do you think that is, kiddo?"

"Because…" Michelle sighed. "Because I thought that if I wasn't nice to Emily and if I didn't do what she said then she wouldn't want me around. Then mommy couldn't die because she'd have to take care of me."

His heart went out to the girl, having suspected something like that. "But you don't like being mean to Emily do you?" Derek asked the child.

"No, I love her," Michelle was quick to respond. "But what if she gets sick too?"

"Hey, no," he caressed her cheek. "It doesn't work like that. Your mom and dad didn't get sick because you love them. None of this is your fault, okay. Do you understand that?" He watched Michelle shrug and realized how much she reminded him of Emily. Not so much in the looks department, but her strength and her wisdom, her guilt and her vulnerability. "I know this is all confusing, baby girl. But none of it is your fault," he tried to assure her again.

The girl gripped her covers tightly. "Is my mommy going to die?"

Morgan wished there was some way to banish those words from her vocabulary, some way to make all her troubles disappear. But he knew there wasn't. "I hope not, sweetness." Derek remembered what Michelle had once told him about her mother always saying those words when she'd asked about her dad dying. He knew the little girl deserved the truth, and he trusted she could handle it. "But probably," he honestly relayed.

She actually smiled a little to hear him say it. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" Michelle asked.

Derek nodded as he finally turned the lamp off. He sat there with her for a good twenty minutes after she'd fallen asleep. Then he made his way downstairs. It was quiet except for the burble of Michelle's fish tank in the living room. Derek found himself drawn to it, sitting down on the sofa and staring across the room, watching as the three gold fish swam around the glass enclosed space; over blue rocks, through a brown and red castle, around the fake green plants. There was something calming about it, like being at Sea World with Ellie as they'd watched the sharks glide through the water.

His thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening and closing. Derek stayed seated, but turned his head and watched Emily in the shadowy entry hall as she dropped her bag by the door, removed her shoes and shed her sweater. She walked straight toward him, sunk down on the sofa next to him and laid her head against his shoulder. The two of them remained that way for a long time, not needing words to convey the sorrows of their day.

"How was Michelle?" she finally asked.

"Good," Derek traced the contours of her fingers as her hand rested on his knee. "We went for a long bicycle ride in the park. I think that really helps to clear her head. I know it helped me," he relayed. "And I treated her to pizza for dinner."

"Very nutritious," Emily replied.

"We had salad too."

She turned her head to look at him. "Your idea or hers?"

He chuckled. "Hers." Morgan pressed a kiss to her temple and then rested his head against hers. "She asked me tonight if her mom was going to die."

Emily's stomach knotted up as she sat forward, resting her elbows against her thighs. "I'm so sorry," she ran her hands through her hair, not even sure of the last time she'd showered. Maybe it had been earlier in the day, maybe four days ago. Everything the last few months seemed like a jumble of moments that were barely connected. "I should've been here," she lamented.

Derek leaned forward as well, a hand resting between her shoulder blades. His fingers moved to her neck and gently kneaded the tight muscles he found there. "Emily, you can't be everywhere at once. Anna needed you at the hospital. And Michelle was fine with me." He regretted telling her, but they'd agreed to be as open and honest as possible in their relationship.

Her mind danced, also subject to those jumbled moments in time. "Did you talk to Garcia today?" she switched topics.

"No, it's Saturday and I had the day off," Morgan reminded her. "I wanted to devote my time to Michelle."

"But it's been over three months and she hasn't found anything new on Margaret," Emily spoke, trying to keep her head busy with thoughts other than her sister's insistence that death was imminent. "We still don't even know how she found out my private cell phone number."

Morgan sensed that her visit with Anna had spurned this new desire to find Margaret, not that it hadn't been a priority before. "Well, despite what she may sometimes boast, Garcia isn't all-knowing and all-powerful. The team has been over all of it so many times, Em. Other than Reid's hunt and peck method…"

"Right, she just sat around for hours on end trying out different numbers," Emily scoffed, having heard it all before.

"He had some data based on prefix and area code," Morgan went over it yet again. "It seemed like a pretty big number, but not entirely inconceivable. And it's a lot more likely than her being some super star computer hacker. Anna said they never even owned a TV, let alone a computer."

"Eric and Anna were locked in that cellar a lot," she remembered. "Margaret had plenty of opportunities to slip away for long periods of time. Her family had money; so maybe she had another residence somewhere near the farm. A place where she could keep tabs on my parents, or me. She knew they could never try to get close to me again, but…" Emily sighed. "I don't even know what I'm saying any more. I just feel like she's waiting. Those notes, the pictures, following us to California… and now we haven't heard a single word for three months. She's sitting out there somewhere, Derek. She's just waiting for Anna to die. Like a damn vulture circling above our heads and hoping to swoop down and pick at the remains of my family."

"Hey," Derek attempted to derail her. "First off, we've showed Michelle the rendering and age progression photos Garcia did. She knows what Margaret looks like, she knows not to speak to her or go near her. Besides, someone is always with her. You and I or your parents take her to school and drop her off. The teachers there all know the situation. They watch her. No one is going to swoop down and take her."

"Anna was in her bedroom, in her house, with my father nearby," Emily whispered. "And they got to her."

Derek pulled her back to his side, wrapped his arms about her shoulders and reclined against the sofa again. "I think you need a break," he told her. "The nurses can take care of Anna for one morning and afternoon. And JJ offered to have Michelle over tomorrow. We can drop her off and then go out for coffee," he suggested, recalling all their coffee dates in the past. "Or we could see a movie or have brunch somewhere," Derek continued. "Or we could just spend half the day together doing nothing."

"That all sounds kind of like a date," she noted with a questioning tone.

He smiled. "Maybe it will be."

"Is it, or isn't it?" she craned her neck to look him in the eye.

"Emily, would you like to go out with me tomorrow… on a date?" Morgan finally asked.

She allowed herself to be sucked into his carefree world for a moment. "I'd like that, very much."

xxx

For three months Emily felt like she'd been taking advantage of Derek. He helped her out with Michelle at every turn, and with Anna too. They'd spent most nights at her place when they weren't working a case. She knew his house was still in a state of construction, but that he'd barely touched it. And they'd declared their love for one another, even consummated it many times, without ever really going on an official date. But he'd never balked at any of it. He was always just there.

"I think that one looks like an elephant," he pointed to the fluffy white clouds above them.

She was curled up beside him on a blanket he'd spread out over the grass. Emily did her best to relax as she heard kids laughing in the distance and other murmurs from the trail behind them; walkers and joggers, even a few bicycle riders going by. The two of them had ditched all of those options in exchange for doing as little as possible. They'd been doing that all morning, which had stretched into the afternoon. "More like a rhinoceros. See the horn there," she pointed.

"Aw, yes," Derek nodded. "But that was the elephant's trunk a few seconds ago before the breeze turned it upward."

Emily laughed softly, wanting to stay where they were for the rest of her life. The blanket was like an island, an oasis; grassy waves lapping at the shore. In her head she had already dubbed it: The Island of No. No worries about her sister or niece. No concern over the strained relationship with her mother and father. No, nearly constant, thoughts about the man whose blood coursed through her veins, which she still feared was like a ticking time bomb under her skin.

But the island was a myth.

Her head turned a little so that she could see the curve of the path that wove through the park. Further off in the distance she spotted the clearing where they'd kissed that first time. Further still she could vaguely see the outline of the tree where she'd sat one night in the rain. Where she'd planted a bullet in its twin and contemplated one through her flesh. Emily's gaze finally fell back upon the man beside her and she remembered something he'd said to her many months ago.

"I'm grateful that you made a happy memory for me here, where once there was a bad one," she whispered in his ear. "I really don't know how to thank you."

"You don't need to." He balanced his weight on one elbow and kissed her softly, a simple gesture to convey his love. Derek looked her in the eye and spotted the worries she was keeping at bay. "But I think you do need to tell me what's on your mind."

She knew it was useless to try hiding anything from him, so she didn't bother. "I think I need to help my sister die."

"What?"

Emily watched his eyes widen and she realized how her words might have been construed. "I don't mean euthanasia," she said. "At least nothing as drastic as drugging her or unplugging some vital machine," Emily amended. "I just…" she breathed out. "I think I need to help her understand that it's okay to move on. And I think there's only one real way to do that."

xxx

"Anna is dying," Emily didn't mince words as she sat across from her parents. She'd tried to think of Joseph Prentiss as something other than her father, but it never seemed right. They stared at her, unblinking. Her all-too-brief island adventure in the park had ended; reality reaching out to smack her in the face again.

Her mother's back straightened and her head shook. "No, there'll be a donor," she insisted. "You can't just give up on your sister."

"I'm not, mother." Her voice remained amazingly calm as she spoke. "Like Anna, I'm facing reality. I love my sister so much, which is why I'm ready to let her go. As painful as that will be," Emily explained. She watched them again, her silent father, her steadfast mother. "You're hoping for a miracle that just isn't possible. Anna coming back to us was our miracle," Emily tried to make them both understand. "She's holding on for us. For the two of you, mostly."

Elizabeth looked insulted. "That's not true."

"Yes, it is, mother," Emily insisted. She was starting to realize how much she and her mother were alike, stubborn; each of them willing to argue their point of view until the bitter end, sometimes to their detriment. Emily took a deep breath before proceeding. "I don't want to fight you on this, mother. That's not what Anna needs or wants right now." She paused. "I honestly can't imagine what you went through losing her, never knowing if she was alive or not. But I know she feels bad for leaving you again, and I also know that only you can really make it okay for her to move on."

"How could I possibly…" Elizabeth choked on the words. Her head shook again; her back a rigid line. "I don't think I can do that," she finally admitted.

Emily wasn't upset at her mother, she simply explained what was about to happen. "Derek and Michelle are meeting me at the hospital in a little while. I'm going to tell Anna that it's okay for her to go now. And we'll say our goodbyes," she whispered. "It's up to you whether or not you want to be there."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 16

By N. J. Borba

* * *

When Emily entered her sister's room that Sunday night after talking to her parents, she found Derek seated at the foot of Anna's bed and Michelle snuggled up beside her mother. "See, mommy," the girl had just presented her mother with a large rectangular piece of paper. It was decorated elaborately with colored markers and glitter-glue. "I made it for you. It's a special diploma that says you have been given the degree of best mommy, wife, sister, daughter, friend… and pancake maker."

Anna's smile lit up the room, even as the dark circles beneath her eyes seemed to grow larger by the second. She lifted one shaky hand and ran her fingertips over the letters her daughter had written. Anna cleared her throat. Her voice was still raspy, but she managed to keep up pretenses for a little longer. "This is better than any degree I could have earned at college," she declared. "But you will be sure to go to college," Anna pointed one finger at her little girl. "Won't you?"

"Yes," Michelle agreed. "I'm going to attend school in California with Ellie. We both want to study Marine Biology and then work at Sea World with the whales and dolphins and sharks," she said. "We even made up our own Orca show, and it's going to be called Ballerina Balene."

"That sounds like a wonderful plan," Anna agreed.

Michelle pulled something else out of the small bag she had with her. "I made this for you too," she handed over the small blue booklet made of construction paper and helped her mother open the item. "That's your picture and your birth date," Michelle pointed out the drawings and text she'd created. "And it says you're a resident of the United States of America. It's your passport," the child revealed as she flipped through the pages. "I used Emily's as an example." She pointed to another drawing. It was a crude rendering of the Eiffel Tower. "This is the entry stamp from when we went to Paris, remember that trip?"

"Of course I do," Anna played along with her daughter's fantasy, knowing it was all for her benefit. "I remember that we ate croissants at a little café on the Champs-Elysees, and saw Da Vinci's Mona Lisa at the Louvre. Then we walked up the Eifel Tower and looked down at the city. And we watched the sunset from up there."

"And this one is from our trip to Australia," Michelle pointed to another fake entry stamp she'd drawn. "Remember when we swam in the Great Barrier Reef together?"

"All those tropical fish were unreal," Anna whispered as she kissed her daughter's cheek.

"And the sea turtle we saw was the best part," Michelle's voice grew weary as she wrapped her arms around her mother. Tears filled her nine-year-old eyes, which reflected more wisdom than most children her age. She knew what their visit meant without being told. "I love you, mommy," she whispered.

"I love you too, baby," Anna's voice was barely audible. She closed her eyes for a long time, holding on to her little girl. Then she looked to her sister and Derek.

Morgan had watched Emily enter the room and, given the look on her face, he feared things with her parents had not gone very well. But he knew at the moment Anna needed them to make Michelle's goodbye as easy as possible. He took that responsibility upon himself, rising to his feet and gently prying the child away from her mother. "Come on, sweetness," he ran a hand soothingly down her back. "Let's go now."

The girl sniffed down tears as she smiled bravely for her mother and clung desperately to Derek's hand. Morgan bit back words as he leaned in to kiss Anna's cheek. It was a simple gesture of affection that he'd performed many times for the woman he'd come to care about. He hoped it would mean more to her than any clumsy goodbye he might try to say. But Derek heard her whispered something in his ear. "Take care of them."

His jaw tightened as he stood and looked her in the eye. A nearly imperceptible nod was the only answer he could give her. Then Derek finally usher Michelle toward the door. He paused in front of Emily, his free hand pressed against her cheek. "I could call Garcia or JJ to take Michelle. If you want me here," he offered.

She did want him there because Emily didn't think she could stand one second of watching her sister die. But she shook her head. "I really think you should be with her right now," Emily nodded toward Michelle who had molded herself to Derek's left side.

Emily felt his lips briefly touch hers before he and the girl slipped out of the room. "Will you give these back to Michelle," Anna spoke, causing Emily to turn and see her sister holding the homemade diploma and passport. "She'll want to have them some day."

"Yeah, she will," Emily moved to the bed and gently packed the items back into the bag Michelle had left behind.

"They're not coming, are they?" Anna asked.

"I…" Emily sighed as she sat down on her sister's bed and tossed the bag onto a nearby chair. She shrugged. "I don't know." Silence blanketed the room for a long time before Emily spoke again. "Do you want me to call anyone else? Dave, maybe?"

Anna's head moved slowly from side to side. "He was here this morning," a small smile graced her lips at the thought of him. "I said goodbye then. And, don't be mad, but I asked him to look out for you and Derek when you are working. I don't want Michelle to lose anyone else she loves."

"You know they love you too," Emily blurted out, feeling it necessary to assure her sister about their parent's feelings. "I just don't think they know how to…"

The door to Anna's room swung open, cutting off whatever else Emily had been planning to say. Joseph held the partition open with one hand as his wife came in behind him. Elizabeth stood just inside the room clutching the stuffed ballerina cat in her arms, looking like a frightened child, her eyes red and splotchy. But no tears fell as she remained rooted there, watching her husband move toward Anna's beside.

Joseph Prentiss walked across the room, thinking it was perhaps the longest walk of his life. But he smiled for her and crouched down to eye level. "When you were born your mother and I didn't have much money," he informed her. "I didn't gain access to my trust fund for several more years. Of course we could have asked for help from my father, but we wanted to try making it on our own," he told her. "I remember finding an old cradle at an antique shop that I fixed up for you," he said. "And I remember every time I put you to sleep in that cradle I would tell you that someday we'd be rich and live in a big castle. And you'd have a fancy bed to sleep in that was made of gold and silver. And you'd be my little princess," he concluded, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

Emily balled her hands into fists, her nails digging into the flesh of her palms as she watched her mother edge toward Anna's bed.

Elizabeth sat down and settled Chester-the-cat beside Anna. "This got left at our place when you stayed over on Thanksgiving. I suppose it may seem silly to you, but the doll always helped you fall asleep when you were a little girl," Elizabeth watched her daughter smile and was reminded of the last night she'd tucked her in. "Your sister loves you very much. She made me realize I've been holding on too tightly, but I don't want you to suffer any more. I never wanted you to suffer." Elizabeth tucked the cat under Anna's arm. "Sweet dreams, baby. I love you," she whispered as she kissed Anna's pale forehead.

There were a lot of things Elizabeth Prentiss had learned over the years as an ambassador, from proper procedures on filing documents in triplicate, to numerous foreign customs having to do with eating an eight course meal. But, without having any previous precedent set on how to leave a room knowing your child was about to die, Elizabeth simply held her husband's hand as they left their daughters behind.

Anna looked to her sister with pleading eyes. "You'll stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere," Emily vowed, sliding into the molded-plastic chair once again. She took several deep breaths and listened to the soft steady beeps of the machine's Anna was hooked to. "But maybe we should go home. It would be nicer there for you, more comfortable," she offered.

"No, Michelle has happy memories of me there," Anna countered. "I don't want her to watch me die at home like she did her father."

Barely keeping herself together, Emily nodded. "In that case, maybe I could take you to mother's…"

Anna didn't even let her finish. "I don't want them to have those memories of me in their home either," she declared. "Not for them or Michelle. Or you."

She agreed again, wanting to do whatever her sister desired. But it seemed all Anna wanted was for her to sit there and hold her hand. So she did, for several minutes, for an hour, for two hours. Emily didn't even realize she'd fallen asleep until her eyes fluttered open. Her head lifted and she swore Anna had aged twenty years in just a few hours. Her skin was so thin and pale that she was practically all bone and veins. Emily realized then just how much her sister had been holding in; compartmentalizing. To protect her daughter, her parents. But with permission to move on, Anna had finally been able to reveal her physical burdens.

"I'm so sorry I stood by and did nothing," Anna's whisper was like a gentle breeze.

"What are you talking about?" Emily asked.

"He was dying and I just stood there."

Thoughts rushed through Emily's mind. Maybe she was talking about Eric's death? But that didn't seem like something Anna would feel regret over. She watched Anna closely, seeing her hazel eyes stare at a blank point on the wall. Emily knew there wasn't much time left, and Anna was looking for some sort of absolution for her sins in those final moments.

"I'm sorry I let your father die."

Emily finally realized what her sister was talking about. "No, Anna. You have nothing to apologize for. That man means nothing to me; he wasn't my father in any way that counted. You are important to me, Anna, and he hurt you. I don't blame you for what happened. I'm proud of you for fighting back. I could never be more proud."

Softness returned to Anna's eyes just before she closed them. "Please…" her whisper was already emitting from a place beyond breathing. "Please don't stay mad at mother forever," she implored her sister in her final moments. "And tell Michelle… I love her."

"Every day," Emily promised.

xxx

He greeted her at the door, not with hollow words of condolence but with open arms. Emily fell into them, holding on as tightly as she could. Her mind retreated to The Island of No; their own private getaway spot. She realized it wasn't just a blue and gray plaid blanket spread over grass, but a place in her head that she could visit whenever she was in his vicinity. Unfortunately her retreat only lasted a short time, just as it had in the park.

Emily pushed away from him.

All of her acceptance suddenly drained as she stared at him. Anger welled in her chest. "What was the point, Derek? Why did she come back into our lives only to be taken from us again?" Her voice was filled with rage, yet it came out in whispers, not wanting to alarm her niece. What she'd told her parents, about Anna coming back to them being a miracle, now seemed like a cruel joke. "You said once that you didn't think I knew how to fail at anything, but I did. I failed my sister. I couldn't stop her from being kidnapped years ago and I couldn't stop her from dying."

"You couldn't be any further from the truth, Emily," Derek replied as he clasped her left hand with his right. Without any further words he gingerly guided her toward the stairs. They walked up in complete silence, and moved down the hall until they were standing in front of Michelle's open door. "You were just a baby when Anna was taken," he'd said those words before, but it seemed she needed to hear them again. "And you didn't let her die. Not even the doctors could save her, Em. That wasn't within your control. What did she always say about you apologizing for things out of your control?"

That earned him a teary smile, but he could see she was still teetering. "You loved Anna enough to end her suffering. And you loved her and Michelle before you even knew they were family," he reminded her. Derek directed her attention to the girl curled up in her bed. "She's your point. Michelle is the reason Anna came back to you and your parents. You're going to look after that little girl. You're going to raise and love her. And that's not any kind of failure in my eyes."

"I need to tell her," she squeezed the words out.

"You could wait until morning," he suggested. "Let her sleep tonight. What difference would that make?"

She drew his hand to her lips, kissed it and then let it go. "I have to do it now," she insisted, leaving him at the door. Emily lifted the blue-striped comforter and settled down on the bed beside her niece. She could see that the girl wasn't asleep, her green eyes at half-mast and caked with the crusty saline of dried tears.

"Emily…" her voice was a raw croak. "I saw mommy and daddy together in my dream. Is mommy gone now?"

"Yeah, she is," Emily didn't sugar coat the news.

Michelle turned to her side and latched onto her aunt. "I already miss her," she whispered.

"Me too, chaton," Emily kissed the girl's forehead.

They were both quiet for a long time after that as they laid there in the dark room, Michelle's head tucked under Emily's chin. "Will you sing?" the girl finally spoke again. "Mommy always sang to me when I couldn't fall asleep."

Emily was instantly transported back to the first night Anna and Michelle had stayed with her. They'd been strangers, yet family without knowing it. She remembered hearing Anna's lithe singing voice as she crooned to her daughter in perfect French. Emily choked on the first few strains of _Au Claire de la lune_, until Michelle joined her. Both their voices slowly broke through the sorrow as they paid tribute to the mother and sister they'd just lost.

Derek listened, watching over them from the doorway.

xxx

Emily slid a second pancake onto Michelle's plate Wednesday morning. "You need to eat, kiddo," she did her best to encourage the child seated at her counter. It seemed like their lives had just been rebooted, from the singing of the old French song the other night, to sharing a breakfast of pancakes. But this breakfast was certainly different from the first one they'd had. For one thing, Emily had made the pancakes from scratch using her sister's recipe.

"I'm not very hungry," the girl replied, prodding her meal with a fork.

The frying pan was placed back on the stove as Emily turned everything off and grabbed her plate. She stood on the other side of the counter and slathered butter onto her own pancakes. "I know," she wasn't very hungry either. But Emily led by example, drizzling her meal with syrup. She cut into them and took a small bite. Michelle followed her lead and they chewed for a while, trying not to think about the woman who'd introduced them both to the joys of homemade pancakes.

"Am I going to stay here with you?" Michelle asked.

With surprised eyes, Emily looked to her niece. "Your mom asked me to take care of you," Emily replied. "But you and I have never really talked about any of that, have we?" she realized. Emily wondered what the girl was thinking. "Do you want to live with me?"

Michelle's head bobbed vigorously. "Very much," she replied.

It was the first real emotion she'd gotten out of the child in two days time. "Well," Emily let out a relieved breath. "I've never done the parental thing before, so I'll try not to mess up too badly."

The girl actually smiled, taking another bite. "Where's Derek?" she asked, mouth still slightly full. "Is he going to live with us, too?"

Emily nearly choked on her pancakes. She coughed and took a long swig of her coffee. Then she chuckled, recalling how her mother had once asked a somewhat similar question about her and Derek's living situation. "I don't know," she finally answered. Emily realized the girl had asked two questions. "And, I don't know." She couldn't help wondering where Derek was, having heard him leave at the crack of dawn.

Michelle looked confused, but the click of the front door opening caused them both to be distracted from their conversation. And the man in question appeared from around the corner, but he was standing a bit oddly with half his body pressed against the wall. "What's going on?" Emily asked.

"I found someone out on the doorstep," he replied cryptically. "She said she was looking for Michelle."

Panic gripped Emily's chest for a moment before Derek finally stepped to one side and revealed the shorter person standing behind him. "Ellie," Michelle whispered her friend's name, clearly surprised by her appearance.

The two girls didn't collide into a happy hug, giggling and excited to see one another. Instead, they hung together in a wordless huddle for a few seconds and then Michelle led them upstairs to her room. Emily watched them go and eyed Derek as he moved further into the kitchen and snatched a bite of her pancakes. "Do you really think that's smart?" she asked, waving her hand toward the stairs. "Making Ellie deal with all this so close to the anniversary of her dad's death?"

"Ellie contacted me," he replied, finishing the bite. "And," he shrugged. "No, I have no idea if it's a smart move or not, but…" Morgan let out a breath as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I remember when my dad died, all the adults kept coming up to my sisters and I and saying how sorry they were and making comments about those poor children. But all we really wanted was to be together, with someone our own age who really understood what we were going through."

She nodded her understanding and leaned in to kiss him. The sweetness of syrup from both their mouths punctuated the union; lips and tongues explored the familiar landscapes they hadn't traversed in several days. Emily ended the kiss, but remained close, their heads resting against one another. "I missed having you here this morning when I woke up," she let him know.

Derek smiled, glad that she wasn't retreating from him after Anna's death. There'd been that small outburst of anger Sunday night, but nothing since. "And I missed you, but I wanted to pick Ellie up myself," he kissed her again, hands fingering the soft fabric of her charcoal dress. Derek pulled back, having almost forgotten what their plans were for later on that day. But her dark clothing and his reflected the sorrowfulness of the occasion. "You sure you're up for this today?"

Emily laughed. She saw his confusion, but the ridiculous giggles that bubbled up from her throat were hard to suppress. "I'm sorry it's just those words, _up for it_," she chuckled again. "It was something Anna and I joked about the other day when we were… after Rossi left…" Emily still wore a smile as she sighed. "This morning I woke up, showered, got dressed in this funeral attire, made pancakes for Michelle…" she rambled off the list. "And in the back of my mind it felt like any other day. I was thinking about driving Michelle to school and getting to work on time. Then I even thought maybe I could leave early, pick Michelle up and go the hospital to spend some time with Anna, possibly have dinner with her," she bit her lip. "Then I remembered."

He kissed her brow and then her lips again briefly. "I know," Derek whispered. "And it will happen again. Many times. Trust me," he said. "About two weeks after my dad died my mom was back at work, and my sisters and I were in school. I remember it was a Friday afternoon and I was picked to be part of the starting line in a neighborhood league football game. Nothing major, except to me. So I ran to the precinct where my dad had worked because he was the first one I wanted to share the good news with." Morgan sighed. "About half way there I realized my mistake."

"What did you do?" Emily asked.

"I ran to the social services office where my mom was working at the time and I told her," he said. "She smiled and told me how happy she was for me, even though she worried every second I played ball." Derek held Emily a little closer. "I think the point I'm trying to make is you still have people to share your life with. And if you ever have the desire to knock off work early like that, I'd be more than happy to join you and Michelle for dinner," he let her know.

"Well, I might take you up on that," she smiled, still not exactly sure how Derek Morgan had turned into the love of her life. "I am up for this," Emily said in a serious voice that had gained some strength. "I don't want to prolong it. Anna would want us all to move on with our lives, so that's what I plan to do."

xxx

As she stood by the marble bird bath in her parent's back yard, which was practically a park, Emily noticed the multitude of flowers. There were lilies, tulips, roses and carnations; all different colors. Countless numbers of cards and flower arrangements had been sent to the retired ambassador's residence, from friends and dignitaries around the world. Emily was grateful, though, that the memorial was small, just family and Anna's closest friends; meaning everyone on Emily's team.

Hotch was there with Jack. The boy had joined Ellie and Michelle by the koi pond. The three of them sat huddled, speaking in soft kid-whispers; all of them united by the fact they'd lost one parent or both. Garcia and Kevin arrived, along with JJ and Will, Rossi and Reid. They all greeted Emily's parents, with words or hugs, sometimes both. Morgan had Henry engaged in a game of chase, weaving around the highly manicured lawn. Rossi broke free from the group and joined her.

"I loved your sister," he revealed to her without preamble. "Not in a romantic way," Dave clarified; lopsided grin perched on his face. "Although, if things had been different… maybe if we'd had more time," the man's voice trailed off. "Anna became a very good friend in a short time. I've never met anyone who was so accepting of their life. She knew she couldn't change the past so she looked to the future. And maybe that was born of her upbringing," he shrugged. "No matter the reason, she was an inspiration to me in how I'd like to live my life. It was an honor knowing her."

"Thank you," Emily replied.

Rossi reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder. "I didn't say it for a thank you, but if it helped… you're welcome." He took a breath. "When I saw Anna on Sunday she gave me this," Dave produced a small white envelope from his breast pocket. "She said it might help." He then removed another envelope. "This one is for Michelle, whenever you think she's ready," he concluded.

She held the two envelopes as he walked away, returning to the group. Emily ran one finger over her name, which Anna had written in perfect penmanship. With a small summoning of courage she tore into the envelope and read her sister's message. Minutes later she somehow managed to gather everyone in a semi-circle. It was about as informal as a memorial could be. Anna's ashes weren't even there, neither was her ballerina cat. Emily had arranged for the stuffed animal to be cremated with her sister. It had always been Anna's and always would be. But her sister's spirit was all around, and Emily took it upon herself to bring closure to her Anna's life.

"I'm not sure I can tell you all anything about Anna that you didn't already know," Emily began. "And I'm not sure how much I brought to her life, other than introducing a few contractions to her vocabulary," she paused as laughter permeated the yard, which was what she'd been hoping for. "But she brought numerous gifts to my life. Friendship, acceptance, forgiveness, love…" Emily sucked down a shaky breath. "And she left me one final gift," the page was partially crumpled as Emily clutched it in her left hand. "But it's not just for me, so I'll read it to all of you."

Emily smoothed out the page. "_I was born Charlotte and died Anna. But who we are is not defined by a name or even by genetics. We are defined only by love; those we love and those who love us. Even in my darkest days I had Eric's love to sustain me, and he mine. I believe I was meant to live that life for him, and he for me. Without each other's love we would not have survived_." Emily paused, looking to her parents. "_You have already mourned forty years for me, so I ask that you please do not mourn any longer. Look to Michelle as you would have me, love and raise her as you would have me. And in that love I will always be with you_."

The note was lowered to her side as Emily glanced around at the faces of those she cared most deeply for. "In the months before Anna died I was lamenting the fact that we didn't have a longer time together to be sisters, but I realize now that we've always been sisters." Emily smiled despite the somber occasion. "Time and distance couldn't change that, and neither will death," she concluded.

xxx

On Monday morning, just a little over a week past her sister's death, Emily stood inside the front door of Michelle's school and looked over at the girl. Michelle had her tan skirt and white blouse uniform on, backpack slung over her shoulders, lunch sack clutched in her right hand. The only thing certain about life was that time kept moving forward whether you liked it or not. "You're sure about this?" Emily asked.

Michelle and Ellie had spent four days together, mostly squirreled away in Michelle's room, talking, crying, and laughing. On Sunday they'd all taken the girl to the airport so she could get back to school in California. But not having that time together with her niece left Emily feeling like she didn't know much about Michelle's state of mind, and she was worried. "Because you can take a few more days if you want," Emily offered.

"Mommy would want me to be in school," Michelle replied, flashing her aunt a smile. "And I want to see my friends and my teacher."

"Okay," Emily breathed out. "You can call me anytime and I'll be here to pick you up."

"School gets out at 3:30, same as always," Michelle replied.

A chuckle escaped Emily's lips. "I know." That hadn't been what she meant, but she was encouraged by the girl's attitude. "Then I will see you at 3:30," she made a move to give her niece a hug, but Michelle rolled her eyes. "Can I at least say I love you?"

Michelle's brows shot upward and she checked over her shoulder to make sure no one was within hearing range. A bell rang and she looked to her aunt again. "I have to go," she waved and was off, rushing down the hall toward her classroom.

Emily watched, making sure that Michelle got safely to the classroom. Then she walked outside to her car. She sat there for a long time, monitoring the school and wondering what her next move should be. Emily finally settled on work, but she made a quick call first, punching in a speed dial number on her cell.

"_Hello_," JJ answered.

"Hey, you have contacts at most of the DC police precincts, right?"

"_Yes, why_?" the liaison sounded concerned.

"Well, I was just wondering if maybe you could arrange for a patrol car to keep an eye on Michelle's school periodically," Emily explained, waiting for her friend to tell her she was being paranoid.

"_I'll see what I can do_," JJ replied.

The call ended and Emily drove to Quantico with a little less worry on her shoulders. She wanted to find Derek, because he was always good at squashing her fears. But she decided it best to pay her boss a quick visit first. Thankfully he wasn't on a call and looked up immediately upon seeing her. "Should you be here?" Hotch asked with genuine concern. "Strauss just brought me a signed leave form for you. She thinks you could use the time, and I'm somewhat inclined to agree with her.

Emily resisted the urge to smile. "Well, since I know how much you dislike agreeing with Strauss, I came to tell you that I'm okay," she insisted. "I'm more worried about Michelle going back to school so soon. But I talked to her teacher and the principal and they agreed to it. We're planning to evaluate her progress in a few weeks. Of course school will be out in another two months, so…" she shrugged. "Am I doing the right thing?" Emily had talked to Derek about it and he'd agreed with her, but she felt the need to talk it over with the parent of a child who'd been through it all recently.

"Jack has been doing pretty well in school," Hotch relayed. "But there are ups and downs."

She nodded, not expecting a perfect answer. "I think sitting around my empty place right now would actually be worse than facing the wrath of Strauss. Meaning, I'd like to keep busy. If that's okay?"

"We have a briefing in ten," he let her know.

Emily nodded gratefully as she left his office and reentered the bullpen. She was happy to see Reid but surprised when she glanced at her empty desk. "We've all been taking our share of extras," Reid spoke up. "So you wouldn't have so much when you came back."

It was hard resisting the urge to hug the genius, but thankfully JJ's presence stopped her. "An officer Rachel Jorgenson is going to try and work in a pass by Michelle's school into her patrol. Probably around noon. She said she'd call if she spotted anything out of the ordinary."

"Thank you," Emily relaxed even further as she walked with her two colleagues to the conference room. Derek was already there and he pushed a mug of coffee toward her as she sat down across from him.

They listened as JJ went over the case. "Police chief in Redding, California claims they've had three bodies in two weeks wash up on the shores of the Sacramento river. All wrapped in plastic, tied with rope. Rope and plastic were traced to the same store. And each victim lived within three miles of the river."

"Doesn't sound random," Rossi said.

"No…" JJ was about to delve further into the details when someone's phone buzzed.

"Sorry," Emily snatched up her cell. "I must have forgotten to…" she trailed off, glancing at the screen.

Derek couldn't help notice the look or worry on her face. "What is it?"

"Michelle's school," she replied.

"Take it," Hotch told her.

The group couldn't help overhearing her one-sided conversation. "Hello," Emily answered. "Yes, this is she… no, Michelle _is_ at school today. I talked to Principal Davies myself this morning about it and… what do you mean?" The room turned deathly silent for a few seconds. "Yes, you should call the police!" Emily shot to her feet. "Tell them the FBI will be there in a half hour."

Emily knew it was closer to an hour's drive, more in traffic, but she wasn't about to let time stop her. "Emily," Derek's hand was on her shoulder and she realized she'd gotten half-way out the door without telling them what was going on.

"Michelle didn't return to her classroom after morning recess," she finally explained. "They don't know where she is."

"Let's go!" Hotch ordered his team, even though they didn't need to be told.

xxx

The team stood like statues on the front steps of St. Ann's Academy where Emily had been just a few hours ago. Police already had the school block cordoned off, all the kids were being gathered in the cafeteria. "She's still grieving," Derek tried to reach Emily, praying she didn't retreat this time. "Maybe she got distracted. She could've walked to a nearby park," he offered.

"Don't do that," Emily growled at him. "Don't insult me with coddling, Derek. Don't treat me like some paranoid mother. Michelle knows not to wander off, under any circumstances. She would not do that to us." Emily surveyed the scene. "I know this is Margaret's doing. I know it. She has her."

Emily bit into her lip so hard she thought she tasted blood. "Finding out my parents never told me I had a sister; that hurt. Discovering that the man responsible for Anna's kidnapping and torture was also the man responsible for half of my DNA structure; that hurt like hell. And losing Anna…" That pain was still too fresh to claim she was handling it well, despite what she'd said to Hotch earlier. "I'm dealing with those things. But if anything happens to Michelle there will be no dealing."

Derek didn't need her to spell it out for him in any more detail than that. He'd found her three months ago under a tree with a gun in her hands, and he knew every day how lucky he was to have found her alive. "I know," he nodded his complete understanding. He was about to ask how she wanted to proceed when he noticed her eyes dart to the street in front of the school.

A silver town car pulled to the curb, waved in by Hotch himself. Emily watched her parents exit the vehicle and she held her breath. For a second she actually thought Michelle might get out of the back seat. She thought maybe the girl had called them to come get her and wires had been crossed and they'd forgotten to call her. But she knew even her parents wouldn't make such an egregious mistake.

Michelle didn't exit the car with them, and the looks on their faces told Emily they were just as panicked as she was. But her heart beat even faster, waiting to be berated for her crime. Waiting for her mother to rail against her and ask how she'd let anything happen to their precious granddaughter. Emily even closed her eyes for a second in anticipation of the backlash. But instead of angry words, she felt arms snake around her torso, and the smell of her mother's perfume assaulted her nostrils.

"We're going to find her," Elizabeth whispered in her daughter's ear. "This time we won't ever stop looking," she vowed.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 17

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Emily sat on a kid-sized blue plastic chair in Michelle's classroom. An apple-printed border outlined a bulletin board to her left. A dozen drawings of the solar system adorned the board, displayed proudly with multi-colored push-pins. Two rows of desks and chairs faced the front white boards and a larger wood desk was situated off to the right side of the space. Michelle's backpack was on the floor next to her as Emily went through the girl's cell phone. It had been turned off and in the bottom of her bag, as per school rules. Emily knew some of the kids took them outside on the playground, but she'd told Michelle she didn't think that was acceptable.

There were no recent calls, just one unread text from Ellie that said good morning; morning L.A. time, which meant it had only recently been sent. She turned the phone off and finally gave her full attention to the little girl seated across from her. She had ebony skin and pigtails with ribbons. "You saw Michelle on the playground, Alisha?" Emily asked. She recalled hearing the name Alisha Sawyer before; when Michelle had appointed her the closest friend she'd made at school so far.

"Yes," the nine-year-old replied softly. "She was at the end of the school yard, near the fence. Daniel Ratbreath had been teasing her about not having any parents, and saying she'd have to go to a new school because she couldn't afford this one," Alisha looked pained even repeating the words.

And it pained Emily to hear them. She knew how cruel kids could be, but she was having a hard time restraining herself from tracking the boy down and doing something to him she'd regret. "Ratbreath?" Emily finally settled on questioning the boy's last name.

"It's really Rathborn, but lots of kids call him Ratbreath," Alisha revealed. "Because he's a big meanie to everyone."

"Did Michelle ever call him that?"

Alisha shook her head. "No. I like Michelle. She's funny and nice. I'm kind of shy, but she always gets me to talk," the girl smiled.

A small smile crept across Emily's face as well, having further proof of her niece's good nature. "So, this Daniel kid stopped bugging her after she took off?" Emily continued, hoping to find something more constructive. She watched the girl nod. "And what happened after that?"

"I left Michelle alone for a little while, but then I saw her talking to the lady and I was worried," Alisha relayed.

"What lady?"

The girl shrugged. "I didn't know her. She was older like my grandparents and she was real dirty. Her clothes were raggy and she smelled bad when I got close enough to notice," Alisha reported. "She asked if Michelle would help her find her missing cat."

"Alisha, can you tell me anything about what the woman looked like," Emily continued. "Her hair color or her eyes?"

"Um, her hair was dark and her eyes too," the girl replied.

"You're sure about that?" Emily sought clarification, worried that she hadn't identified Margaret's green eyes. Like Michelle's, they were pretty distinctive.

"I am," Alisha maintained. "Michelle told the lady she was sorry about her cat, but that we couldn't leave school grounds. Then Dana Martin came over and asked if we wanted to jump rope. I wanted to but Michelle didn't. I said I'd stay with her, but she wanted me to go play. So, I did," the girl said, her voice a little softer. "And then I didn't see her again."

Emily nodded, taking hold of the girl's left hand. "It's okay, Alisha. You answered my questions really well. And I'm glad you've been a friend to Michelle."

"You'll find her, right?" the child asked as they both stood and walked toward the door.

"Yes," Emily replied with conviction. "I will," she ushered the girl into the hall where Michelle's teacher had been waiting for them.

The petite red-head took hold of Alisha's hand, but she stayed close to the classroom door. "I'm so sorry about all of this, Ms. Prentiss. I was one of the teachers on playground duty earlier. But there are a hundred kids out there at any one time, running this way and that. I just… I'm so sorry," she apologized again.

"I know," Emily had been a little loud at first; voicing her distaste of how the school had handled the situation. But she'd calmed down enough to realize Margaret had probably been planning the attack for a long time, and she knew the teachers and Principal had numerous other kids to worry about on a daily basis.

She watched the teacher guide Alisha back toward the cafeteria as Hotch, Morgan and Rossi approached her. "Did the girl have anything to contribute?" Hotch asked.

"Something about Michelle talking to a homeless woman through the fence," Emily explained. "Apparently she was looking for a cat," her shoulders shrugged.

"One of the most common child abduction ruses," Rossi pointed out. "But a homeless woman?"

"Alisha's description didn't match Margaret, aside from age," Emily said. "She could be in disguise, though. Colored contacts maybe?"

"There's a shelter and soup kitchen about two blocks east of here," Hotch nodded in the direction. "Small homeless population hangs around that area. It's not entirely unlikely that some woman wandered this far off the beaten path."

"But it seems pretty coincidental," Morgan noted. "Even if it wasn't Margaret."

Emily sighed. "You think it was a distraction?"

Derek shrugged. "Maybe to throw us off Margaret's trail," he tossed out a theory.

"Rossi, Morgan," Hotch spoke up again. "You're with me. I want to check out that soup kitchen and see if we can't track this homeless woman."

"I'd like to go along," Emily said.

Hotch's head dipped a fraction of an inch. "I want you to stay here, keep talking to the kids and teachers with Reid. Find out if anyone else saw something. JJ's got the Amber Alert handled and she's heading back. I also had her issue a press release, but she may want you and your parents to make a plea on the news," he glanced down at his watch. "We'll all regroup here in twenty-five minutes," he concluded, knowing time was of the essence.

Morgan caught her attention. "Sorry," he apologized for leaving her behind before catching up with Hotch and Rossi who were already half-way down the hall.

She sighed in frustration. Her eyes roamed the brightly lit hallway. It was wide and decorated at several intervals with bulletin boards. Kindergarten through fourth grade art adorned the boards. The older kids' classrooms were housed on the second floor. She'd always seen the place filled with kids, never so empty and quiet. And at the very end of the hall, seated on a bench outside the principal's office, Emily spotted her parents. Her father was chatting with a police officer who nodded in Emily's direction. The police office remained standing guard by the front door where her mother remained, but her father moved down the hall.

Joseph Prentiss was dressed in a dark gray suit, white shirt with a blue and red chevron-patterned tie. Emily figured he'd been getting ready for work when the call came. Her mother had been officially retired for over a month, but her father maintained his CEO position at the business he'd taken over from his father forty years ago. He greeted his daughter with a kiss to her cheek, not caring that she'd been keeping her distance from them for months. "Any word?" he asked.

His voice sounded like that of a frightened little boy, rather than the man whose tone she often recalled booming around their house. "A small lead, but it might not be anything," Emily conveyed the news. "You and mom should go home. I'll call if…" she caught herself. "_When_ we know something more." Even though Hotch had mentioned doing a news piece with them, she figured she could handle it on her own.

"Can't go home," his head shook. "Can't sit still." He ran a hand over his gray head of hair and leaned heavily against the wall outside of Michelle's classroom. "Before Richard contacted us about having taken Ch… Anna, there were about three nights when we didn't know what had happened. The police were out looking, but I couldn't sit still. I drove for hours, up and down streets and alleys," he recalled. "I relived my whole life in those hours, just driving along with my memories. But none of it seemed to amount to much until I got to the age of sixteen."

Emily resisted the urge to push him away, to tell him she was too busy trying to find Michelle to listen to him rehash his life. "Why sixteen?" Emily found she was too curious to send him off.

The light in his eyes suddenly returned. "Because, when I was sixteen I met a beautiful girl with dark hair and brown eyes that twinkled with an air of superiority and a whole lot of mischief," he spoke with a smile and a reflective tone. "She attended the all-girls high school down the block from my private all-boys school. I watched her walk home several times and thought I'd never stand a chance with a beautiful, smart girl like her." He chuckled softly.

"What I didn't know at the time was that she'd noticed me too. I found out later that she didn't think she stood a chance with me because I was from a very well-to-do family. My father and step-mother having more money than they knew what to do with half the time. Always traveling the globe, flinging money at charities like it was water. Come to find out, this girl I'd been interested in was rather poor. Her parents were immigrants from France; they worked hard and saved the best they could, but still barely got by. And the girl only attended that fine, expensive, school because she'd worked her ass off to get scholarships."

"You're talking about mom?" Emily was surprised.

"Yes," he nodded. "When I finally gained the courage to talk to her one day I discovered her name was Elizabeth, but she preferred Liz. She thought it made her sound less regal, more glitzy like a movie star, like Liz Taylor who she idolized."

Emily shook her head even before he'd stopped speaking. "My mother idolized a movie star?" She didn't believe it. Her level-headed mother, all business, strict and proper, had actually idolized an actress of all people.

"She did," Joseph insisted. "She even dragged me to every one of Liz Taylor's movies. And half the time she had to sneak out of her parent's apartment to do it."

To say Emily was flabbergasted by that nugget of information was a small understatement. "My mother snuck out?"

His nod that time was more emphatic. "She made up all sorts of excuses, usually that she was going to be down the block studying at Molly Flannigan's place. And she did head down the block, but as soon as she rounded the corner of 10th street I was always there waiting. Liz would have a bag with her and she'd duck behind this large hedge to change. When she'd reemerge she would be wearing some hip-hugging dress or a skirt cut well above her knees and she'd slide into the passenger seat of my convertible and away we'd go. We'd head to the movie theater, or drive down the coast, sometimes we'd only make it as far as a nearby park."

"I think I get the idea," Emily stopped him. Her head shook again, still not quite believing everything he'd just told her. "Why have I never heard these things before?"

"Your mother vowed never to tell you. She didn't want to put ideas into your head," he chuckled. "But you turned out a lot like her anyhow."

She cracked a small smile. "Derek says we're more alike than either of us want to admit."

"Indeed," her father agreed. "I even recall watching you as a child, wanting to imitate her," he saw Emily's doubtful look. "Yes," he insisted. "I remember coming across you some days, you'd be seated on the floor outside her office. And you'd have your hand shaped like a telephone and pressed to your ear, silently mouthing everything you heard her saying inside her office," he recalled. "That was before you decided to become a super hero."

Emily was pretty sure she'd never heard her father speak so openly and happily about the past. He reminded her so much of Anna at the moment, how she'd always managed to put a smile on her face, no matter the dire situation. "So, what happened to her?" she asked. "Mother? When did she lose all that recklessness?"

"We were foolish," Joseph admitted, his mind slinking back to those days. "We weren't careful at all. She got pregnant and her parents insisted we get married. That was the end of her childhood. Just like that I snatched it away from her. She was different after that; she wanted everything to be better for her child, better than it had been for her. She wanted the finest schools, clothing, and a nice house. But she didn't want money from my father; she wanted us to make it on our own. She wanted me to work for my father, really work. Make a name for myself. And she set to studying, finishing up her high school course work and diving into college," he paused.

"She grew very serious, and yet I was still stuck in boyhood," Joseph revealed. "What I told Anna about fixing that cradle was true, and the stories about her being my princess. I treated it all like a game; like your mother and I were just playing 'house'. I loved them both dearly, but where your mother would buckle down and study even after taking care of Anna all day, I'd flee our small apartment. I'd meet up with my buddies, and there'd be drinking and dancing, and girls. Lots of girls."

An annoyed breath was released through Emily's nose. "Maybe I don't want to hear any more."

But he was already too lost in the past to stop. "I never did anything like that. But I had opportunities, plenty of them. And I shirked my duties at work. My father was giving me a chance to learn it all, the whole business. He said it could be mine some day. But I was too busy having fun to care." Joseph took a shallow breath. "I can't really blame your mother for what she did. And she was so ashamed. She came home that night and told me everything. I didn't really listen, though. I exploded; I said some horrible things to her. I was so glad our little girl had been at her grandparent's place that night; glad she never heard those things. Then I stormed off. I left."

"But you came back," Emily whispered.

"But first I stole a huge chuck of cash from my father's office. I stayed at a hotel, I drank myself silly," he recalled. "For nearly two months I did all that. I didn't go to work; I just wallowed in my miseries. Your mother called several times, but I always hung up on her. Then one day the phone rang. I was half way sober after sleeping off a pretty bad binge. I answered the phone and there was a pause for a moment. I said hello a second time and then this impossibly soft, whispery voice came on the line. And she said, "_Daddy, when are you coming home_?"

"Anna," Emily said, her nose tingling, on the verge of tears.

He nodded remorsefully. "That was it. My wake-up call. I went home, I forgave your mother. She told me she was pregnant and that it might not be mine. I told her it was. I told her it didn't matter."

"You forgave her, just like that?" she thought it seemed unbelievable.

"I did," Joseph replied. "I did it because I loved her. And I loved your sister. And that's all that matter," he smiled. "Anna was right about that. Our lives are only defined by love," he echoed his late daughter's words. "As difficult as things got at times I always loved your mother, and she loved me. And for a short time it was good. It was very, very good, Emily. And even when it wasn't good, it was still better than divorce, or sitting in a hotel by myself with a bottle of booze."

Her fingers picked at the hem of her royal-blue blouse. "Why did you just tell me all that?"

A shrug raised his left shoulder. "Because I want you to know your mother and I were never perfect, but we tried to do the right thing for our family." He smiled, still seeing uncertainty clouding her eyes. "And I want you to know that when I look at you, I never see him."

She swallowed, knowing what he meant. "Why not?"

"Because the day you were born, I was there and he wasn't," Joseph told her. "I remember that day more clearly than any other. It still wasn't very common for fathers to be in the birthing room, but I wanted to be there. I hadn't been for Anna, but I wanted everything to be different for you. Perfect. So I was there, I held your mother's hand; I watched her sweat through hours of pushing. I listened to her scream about how stubborn you were. Just like your father, she'd said, meaning me," he grinned.

"And then you were crying and covered in goop, and so beautiful. Your mother had fallen asleep by the time the nurses brought you back to us after cleaning you up and checking you over. So I was the first one to hold you," he beamed proudly. "And I swear you opened your eyes and looked right at me. It was like you knew exactly who I was. And you gave me this challenging stare that let me known you'd grow up to kick my ass if I wasn't a good dad to you."

Emily laughed; an actual merry sound that drifted down the hall. She watched as her mother got to her feet, probably thinking they'd both lost their minds. Laughing when Michelle was God only knew where. Emily reached out to touch her father's shoulder. "I don't think any ass kicking is in order yet," she assured him.

His smile was thankful. "I promised to do it all better with you, and I tried. But after Charlotte was gone, it was hard. Your mother retreated inside herself, she dove into work headlong. And there were so many years of us being apart, you with your mother overseas, and me back here with the business. It was hard," he repeated.

She nodded her understanding as Reid emerged into their line of sight from a cross hallway, the one Emily knew led to the cafeteria. He walked toward them with a young boy at his side. "Emily," he greeted her. "Mr. Prentiss," Spencer's head bowed a little when he spoke the man's name. Then he motioned toward the dark-haired boy. "This is Daniel, he was just telling me something in the cafeteria that I thought you might want to hear," Reid relayed.

Her mind retreated to what Alisha had told her. "Daniel Rathborn?" she asked the boy.

"Yes, ma'am," he answered politely. "I was afraid to say anything earlier, because I… I was really mean to Michelle this morning."

"Alisha told me what you said," Emily was surprised to hear him admit his faults, but curious.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," he apologized.

He looked her straight in the eye and seemed genuinely remorseful, but Emily wasn't concerned with forgiving him at the moment. "Dr. Reid said you had something to say," she prodded.

"Just that I saw Michelle walk around to the backside of the school at recess," he told her. "It was after Alisha went to jump rope with Dana. And when we were lining up to go back inside I wanted to tell her I was sorry," the boy paused. "My real parents died when I was a baby and I was adopted. I got teased a lot, but I fought back by becoming the teaser. But when I did it to Michelle, I felt really bad. I didn't see her in line so I ran behind the school thinking I might try to apologize and make sure she didn't get into trouble for being late. But she wasn't there," he concluded.

Emily couldn't stay angry at the child. "Thank you for telling me all that," she said. Her eyes flicked to Reid. "Walk him back; I want to check that area of the school."

Reid took off and Emily conveyed to her parents that they should stay put outside the principal's office. Then she headed outside. She surveyed the area around back and found a narrow concrete pathway that ran the length of the building. It was lined by a row of densely planted evergreen hedges. Beyond that was a row of parking and then a fairly busy street. There were no windows on that side of the school, and she only found one door that was labeled as a delivery access. Emily opened the door and discovered a hallway. She could see the lunch room to her right and bathrooms to the left.

She quickly grabbed Reid from the cafeteria and led him outside. Emily stepped past the hedges while he remained close to the school. "I can't see you from here," she announced, rejoining him shortly.

"I couldn't see you either," he let her know.

"Margaret could have easily had a vehicle parked here and snatched Michelle without anyone from the school seeing her," Emily said.

"Still seems likely that someone on the street might have seen something," Reid added. "Or someone across the road. There's a lot of activity around here."

"Not if they saw what they'd been expecting," Emily countered. They reentered through the door and Emily sought out the principal. She was a tall woman, heavy set with dark rimmed glasses and jet-black hair pulled back in a bun. Emily had spoken with her before and found her looming presence to be softened by a kind voice and gentle authority. "Who's been in and out through that door this morning?" she pointed to the service door. "Do you keep a roster?" Emily questioned Davies.

"Mrs. Walsh is the lead kitchen person; she's been here for fifteen years. Her duties go beyond the kitchen, accepting and signing for deliveries, keeping tabs on the janitorial staff that comes in every morning," the principal explained.

Reid glanced toward the kitchen where it looked like the cooks were arranging a meal for the kids. It wasn't quite lunch time yet, but he imagined the food was more to comfort the children after the upheaval of their morning. "Could you ask her to come speak with us right now?"

Davies nodded. "Of course, just a minute," she left them and returned promptly with a woman in her fifties, brown eyes, white apron and gray locks matted down in a hair net. "These agents need to know about the janitorial staff you checked in this morning and any deliveries," the principal addressed the woman.

"Well, there was Ray and Lola Landry," the woman began. "They do the bathrooms every morning, small company, just the husband and wife team. School board mandates we have a male janitor clean the boy's room, and a female do the girl's restroom, in case any kids enter while they're cleaning. They were gone by 9am. We got a pretty big delivery from Borden Frozen Foods at 7am this morning, same as every Monday. And a milk order came in from Smyth Dairy at about 10am."

"10am is close to the recess time, right?" Emily asked.

Walsh and Davies nodded. "Morning recess is 10 to 10:30," the Principal confirmed.

"Who was the milk delivery person?" Reid asked. "A familiar face?"

"Guy named Brad Handler," Walsh replied. "He's been on the route for about two years. And Principal Davies conducted a staff meeting about that woman, Margaret Wilson," she added. "We got a flyer on what she looks like. I studied it, we all have. We've been very diligent about who goes in this school."

Emily smiled graciously. "I know, and I appreciate that. But the area outside your delivery door is a prime spot for abduction. And a student here, Daniel Rathborn told us he saw Michelle walk around the back of the school at recess. So, do you remember the exact time the milk delivery came and went?"

"It was about 10:20am," the gray-haired woman answered. "But I'm sure Brad had nothing to do with this."

"Does he drive the milk truck, or van?" Reid questioned. "Or is there a partner?"

The woman gulped. "I… actually don't know," she admitted.

Instead of asking for the dairy's information, Emily dialed Garcia. She was faster than anyone. "Penelope, I need you to look up Smyth Dairy, they deliver milk to the school. I want anything you can find me on a Brad Handler, and any other workers, possibly someone who works directly with Brad such as a delivery driver."

"_Okay, I've got info. on Mr. Handler," _Garcia didn't waste any time._ "He's thirty-five, been with Smyth Dairy for two years, moved from Milwaukee with his wife and two sons three years ago. No record. Unfortunately the Dairy doesn't have a web site or any sort of electronic data, their pay records aren't even available. But I have a cell phone number for Brad Handler if you want_."

"Send it to me," Emily demanded.

"_You should already have it_," Penelope replied. "_Anything else_?"

"Not right now, but be on alert."

"_Always_," the tech signed off.

Emily quickly dialed the new number and hit speaker, mostly for Reid's benefit. "_Handler, here_," a man's voice answered.

"Brad Handler, this is Agent Emily Prentiss with the FBI," she identified herself.

"_Okay_," he replied.

"I need to ask you some questions about a delivery you made this morning to St. Ann's Academy."

"_That's the only delivery I've been on today. Stupid driver stranded me there and I had to wait for my boss to come pick me up. Needless to say, he was not amused_."

Her heart raced. "Sir, a nine-year-old girl was taken from this school about the time of your delivery. Who was driving that milk truck?"

"_Crap," _he said._ "Um, it was that new woman. Meg something. She's older, doesn't talk much. The Dairy has a pretty liberal hiring policy; they don't discriminate for any reason. And I can usually get along with anyone; I've got no problem with women in authority roles either. But if you ask me, that Meg lady is a little off her rocker. Then she ditched me and…_"

"Can you tell me what she looked like?" Emily cut him off. "I need to know details."

"_She's late fifties, maybe. Dark hair, probably it was dyed. Average height, I guess. Not fat, but muscular for an older lady. Really green eyes_."

His mention of her eyes pretty much confirmed it for Emily. "Brad, is your boss still nearby? Could I talk to him? I need to get an address for this Meg person,"

Within five minutes Emily had a last name and an address. "Meg Warner? This woman has got more aliases than I can keep track of," she looked to Reid. "I'm going to check out her address."

"I should go with you," Spencer offered.

"No, someone needs to stay here. I'll call Hotch on the way," she promised, dashing from the cafeteria before the genius could say anything else. Emily exited the school from the delivery door, not wanting to pass her parents at the main exit. The less she worried them the better, Emily thought as she got to the SUV that was parked out front. She stared at her cell phone as she buckled up and pulled away from the curb. She considered not contacting Hotch until she knew something more. It didn't seem necessary. But she knew that wouldn't fly, so she called.

"_We'll meet you there_," Hotch agreed, disconnecting.

xxx

The apartment building was six stories, concrete tilt-up construction. Fairly clean exterior, landscaped, underground parking lot. Alley to the east side, commercial office space to the left and retail to the right. The street was busy with wide sidewalks; tree-lined. Morgan, Hotch and Rossi pulled up behind Emily's vehicle. The four of them entered the building and headed straight to the mail boxes. The name Warner was labeled on box 2E. They raced up to the second floor. Hotch knocked on the door, once, twice. Rossi called out Margaret's name and identified them as FBI. No response. They pulled weapons. And Derek's leg rose, about to kick the door in.

"Hey, what the hell, dudes?" a man shouted out to them from down the hall. "You cops or something?"

"Who's asking?" Morgan responded, placing his foot back on the carpeted floor.

"I'm the super here, I own all this," the tall, bald man gestured around the hall. "Not much to brag about, but I'd like all the doors to stay on their hinges if possible," he eyed Derek in particular.

"The woman who lives here, Meg Warner, is a suspect," Derek relayed. "We think she may have kidnapped a young girl. You know her?"

The bald guy sneered. "Nope. My uncle died two months ago and I inherited the joint. Honestly, if she pays the rent on time I got no cause to know her."

"You have a key to this unit?" Hotch asked.

He held up a keychain. "Skeleton opens every unit." The man keyed the lock and stepped aside.

Morgan took the lead, followed by Rossi, Hotch and Emily in the rear. "Clear," Derek called out from a back room. Rossi cleared the bathroom. Hotch the kitchen. Emily glanced around the living room. It was completely empty. "Bedroom's empty, too," Morgan said as they all regrouped.

"Nothing in the bathroom," Dave reported.

"Why would someone pay for an empty place?" the apartment manager asked, poking his head inside.

Hotch pushed past the man. "It was just an address she used for the job," he said. "Dave, let's canvas the area." The team leader looked to Emily and Derek. "You two should get back to the school," he said before leaving.

Emily rubbed her eyes with one hand as Hotch and Rossi took off. She holstered her weapon and stared at the blank, gray walls. "When I dropped her off this morning I tried to tell her I loved her. But she was embarrassed someone might hear," Emily sighed.

Derek lowered his weapon and reached out to touch her cheek. "Kids are like that at her age."

"I know," Emily nodded. "It's just that I promised Anna I'd tell her every day and now…"

"Hey, do not go there," Morgan sheathed his gun. Both hands rested on her shoulders as he tried to ground her. "We're gonna find Michelle," he vowed. "But I think we need to start checking airports, bus stations, get some highway road blocks up. She's probably trying to get Michelle out of town as quick as she can," he tightened his jaw, resisting the urge to hit a wall.

"I don't think so," Emily breathed out, long and slow. She noticed the apartment manager still hanging by the open doorway and her mind started to spin again. "What has this all been about, Derek?"

"Getting her hands on Michelle," he answered. "She said so herself."

Emily gnawed on her lip. "No, I think you were right earlier when you said that homeless woman was too much of a coincidence. I think what she told me that day on the phone was a dodge, same as this apartment, same as the homeless woman. She's still close, Derek," Emily's confidence in that fact grew with each passing second.

"How do you figure?" Derek asked.

"She keeps mentioning righting the wrongs of the past and teaching Michelle the things she never got to teach me. But all those pictures she sent with the notes. That was never really about Michelle. She was sending me a message. She knew threatening my sister and niece would rile me. She's been pissed all these years that Richard took Anna instead of me. I think she's trying to lure me closer by using Michelle as bait, and I think she's still close," Emily crossed the room in a few short strides. "I need to see your tenant list," she told the bald man. "Now," she growled and watched him head off.

"What are you thinking, Em? She's here under another name?" Morgan was curious.

"Maybe," Emily wasn't sure, but she followed her instincts. The super returned and handed over a spiral bound book. She flipped through it, scanning names. Five pages in, she put her finger on a name and showed Morgan.

"Anna Ericson," he read. "Son of a bitch."

"3E," Emily said as she slapped the book against the super's chest.

She and Derek raced up the stairs to the third floor. Morgan kicked the door in without knocking, without verbal warning. It swung open from the force, banging against a wall. He and Emily rushed through the apartment, clearing all the rooms. Margaret wasn't there, neither was Michelle. But one bedroom had a full sized bed and dresser. The second room had a twin bed. There was minimal furniture in the living room, but it looked lived in.

Emily stood in the small kitchen. There was a coffee mug on the counter and another glass filled with milk. A plate of chocolate chip cookies sat between them. She put two fingers against the coffee mug. "Derek, this is still warm," she alerted him.

"She's still close," he looked to her for confirmation.

Her eyes went to the window and her legs followed. She pushed the curtains aside. "It's open," Emily told him. Morgan was by her side in a flash and they looked outside. "Fire escape," she went through the window and stepped onto the metal structure. Derek followed her out. "I'll go up, you go down," Emily suggested.

Morgan nodded and she watched him start down the metal rungs as she sheathed her weapon and began to climb. Emily peeked into any window she could, but most of them had blinds or curtains drawn tight. At the sixth floor landing there was a rickety ladder that went all the way to the roof. Emily didn't think twice as she traversed it and swung her legs over the parapet wall. She drew her gun and scanned the roof. Several HVAC units stood like Stonehenge, perfectly arrayed on the east side of the building. There was also an access door to the building's internal stairwell. And further back she could see some sort of three-sided covered patio.

She crept forward, slowly, aiming her gun around every piece of equipment. Everything was clear all the way to the door. Emily kept moving forward toward the outdoor living space. Inside she could see a barbeque, three picnic tables, and some cupboards. She rummaged through the space, but came up empty. Then she pressed her back against the west wall of the structure and slowly skirted along the narrow pathway toward the back. Between the parapet and the wall there was only about a foot of maneuverable space.

Gun leading the way, Emily took a deep breath before turning the corner to check the back of the building. The sight that greeted her brought her stomach up into her throat. Yet she'd been expecting it the whole time. Michelle was seated on the three foot high parapet wall, legs dangling over the sidewalk below. Margaret turned the girl sideways a little and wore her like a shield, left arm squeezed around Michelle's mid-section. The woman's right hand held a kitchen knife against Michelle's neck. It was a small knife, but Emily could tell it was plenty sharp enough to cut her niece's throat.

Margaret smiled. "Hello, Emily," she greeted. "It's so nice to finally meet you."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, _Criminal Minds_.

* * *

**Who We Are  
**Part 18

By N. J. Borba

* * *

"_It's so nice to finally meet you_."

"Sorry, but I can't return that sentiment," Emily was completely honest with the woman as she held Michelle's worried gaze.

She wasn't very sorry, though, as she became aware of everything around her in frightening clarity. The weight of the gun in her hands, the tightness of every muscle in her body. The slight chill of morning burning off from the sunlight beating against her back. A blue sky hovering above the busy city, the hum of cars rushing by on the street below. Her lack of Kevlar, lack of a communication device because everything had happened so fast that none of them were wired. But nothing stood out more vibrantly than her niece's soft pink lips as she spoke a single word.

"Emily," Michelle's voice was a whispered plea.

Even as incongruous as it seemed in relation to their surrounds, Emily smiled reassuringly. But her words were directed to the woman calling the shots. "Let her go, Margaret. You don't want to hurt her; she's your granddaughter." If there was even a shred of decency or remorse in the woman, Emily needed to find it. Fast.

"True," Margaret replied, not budging an inch. "But someone once said I was too self absorbed to be anyone's mother. Who was that?" she asked without waiting for a reply. They both knew the answer. "Do you suppose it goes for grandchildren as well?" the woman taunted.

"She's not what you want," Emily remained undaunted by the woman's words. Because her sister's voice pounded in her head, over and over. _I need you to promise me you will watch after Michelle when I'm gone_. And her response, which had come reluctantly, but nonetheless sincere. _I promise_.

Margaret scoffed at the younger woman's comment. "And you think you know what I _really_ want?"

"No," Emily shook her head just a little, the rest of her body still rigidly poised. "You said it was Michelle you were after, and for a while I believed that. Then I even thought that maybe it was me you were really after. But I don't think that's true either." Emily held the woman's gaze, starring into her emerald eyes. They were beautiful eyes, like her niece's. But where Michelle's held an air of innocence and kindness, Margaret's conveyed only a depth of ambiguity. "My newest theory is that I don't even think you know what it is you _really_ want."

"Shut up," the woman grew defensive. "I'm not confused."

The denial of it spurned Emily forward. "What happened to you?" she asked, still hoping to break through to the woman. Or at the very least, get her distracted enough to save her niece. "Was it your ex-husband? Did he hit you? Verbally abuse you? Is that why you killed him and took your son?"

"Stop," Margaret growled. The sound was barely human.

Emily knew she was finally getting somewhere. "Is that why you latched on to Richard, because he was broken? He was pliable. And it was your chance to finally be the one in charge," she still wasn't sure of the details, but she was sure of the storm brewing behind the older woman's eyes.

Margaret laughed. It was her only defense against the truth at the moment. "So, you've finally come for revenge," her words shifted topic. "I can see it your eyes, so much like he was. Your father," she spat the words.

It was an obvious diversionary tactic, but it riled Emily nonetheless. "I am nothing like that man," she replied as calmly as she could, sensing that Margaret was trying to get her angry. She did her best to focus on Michelle and the task of getting her free. "And it seems to me like you're the one out for revenge."

"Of course you're like him," Margaret kept at it; picking at the open wound. "It's his blood that runs through your veins. You're destined to be like him, to go crazy, to do horrible things. You'll be just like him, whether you like it or not," she conveyed.

Suddenly it all made sense to Emily. "So, that's it then," she took a shallow breath. "Your father hurt you, or maybe your mother. Maybe both of them," Emily could see the woman's eyes narrow. She'd definitely hit a nerve. "We repeat the patterns we're taught as children." Emily knew that to be true in many cases, she'd seen it numerous times before and she should have seen it this time. But sometimes the easiest solutions were the hardest to see. And she'd been too close to the situation, trying to deal with her own fears of becoming like the man named Richard Hayes.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?"

Emily didn't bite, knowing the woman was still trying to weave her web of hatred around them. "You hurt Anna and Eric; you tortured them because that's the only example you ever had to follow. Is that what you wanted to teach Michelle? Is that what you wanted to teach me all those years ago?"

"You would have been so much more receptive because of who your father was," Margaret replied. "You would have been easier to mold than those two. And Michelle has lost her mother and father; surely there is hatred in her just waiting to boil over."

"But that's not always the way it works. Is it?" Emily sighed. "They resisted you. Eric lost his father; Anna was ripped away from her family. But somehow they were able to hold on to each other. For years you showed them nothing but hatred, but they still had love in their hearts. And when Richard died they let you go. They showed you compassion when it would have been well within their rights to end your life. They gave you a gift, but you had no idea what to do with it," Emily almost felt sorry for her. "Instead you threw it away and spent years figuring out how to cause even more pain."

"That's what my parents did to me!" the woman finally shouted. "They only ever caused me pain."

"We do not have to end up like our parents," Emily insisted.

"Of course we do," Margaret replied.

Emily heard finality in her words and watched as everything that had been so perfectly detailed before suddenly became a frantic mess. Margaret lowered the knife and both her arms, freeing Michelle from her grasp. But then she gave the child a small shove. Michelle gasped as she felt herself slipping over the parapet wall toward the sidewalk. Her hands clawed at the air as she released a single, terrified cry. "EMILY!"

Without even breathing Emily flew to the wall, diving over the side to catch her niece. The gun fell from her grasp, clattering to the roof as she barely caught hold of the child's wrists with both her hands. Michelle's body mass was equal to only half of Emily's, but at the moment the child had gravity on her side and Emily was nearly pulled over the wall herself. "Don't look down, chaton," she told the girl. "And try not to move," Emily instructed as she desperately attempted to brace her legs against the wall behind her. But a spark of fire shot up her left side in the process.

"You must both die in order for the cycle to end," Margaret said as she plunged her knife into Emily's side.

Emily felt the knife embed itself in her skin. She glanced over to see a thin trail of crimson trickling from the wound, drizzling down her blue silk blouse. It was a small knife, but that didn't stop it from hurting like hell when Margaret retracted the blade and plunged it into another fleshy spot on that same side. Emily kicked at the woman while still holding on to her niece. She spared a glance at Michelle. "Hold on to my right arm with both hands," Emily demanded of the girl, watching as Michelle's legs dangled helplessly over the sidewalk, six stories down.

The child did as instructed, clutching to her aunt's arm as tightly as she could, trying to claw her way up. Emily took a deep breath and blocked out all knowledge of her aching body. She stuffed that sensation into the darkest corner of her mind as she further stretched her body in ways she wouldn't have thought possible before. Emily was actually grateful for the knife wounds, because it meant Margaret hadn't realized her gun was up for grabs. She reached down with her throbbing left hand and fished around for her gun. Another spike of pain tingled down her left side, but she grasped the weapon and brought it around.

A shot rang out. It was followed by a second.

Margaret's body staggered away from Emily. The knife slipped from her hand and she collapsed against the roof, rolling onto her back as blood began to pool beneath her. When Emily discarded her gun again, three male figures came into her view of the sidewalk below. "Derek, up here!" she desperately called down to them. But even their presence didn't settle her stomach very much as both her hands locked around Michelle's wrists again.

"Hold on!" Morgan shouted while dashing around the building.

Emily resisted the urge to laugh, as if she'd been planning to let go. Even from a distance she noticed that Rossi and Hotch looked rattled, which seemed a little odd to her because she rarely witnessed their emotions get the better of them. She guessed things didn't look very good from their vantage point. Dave had his cell phone pressed to one ear, no doubt calling paramedics, police, anyone he could think of to help. Hotch sheathed his gun and looked like he was about ready to try and catch Michelle if she fell. Emily wasn't about to risk that outcome. She couldn't even risk waiting for Morgan to reach them. There was no time. It was up to her alone.

Slowly, and with every fiber of her being, Emily pulled. She reached a state beyond pain, a place where she didn't even need to block it out. There was nothing else in her line of sight other than Michelle as she began to lift the girl. When she reached Michelle's torso, her hands grasped the girl's armpits and she yanked as hard as she could. Michelle groaned as her stomach and knees scraped across the parapet wall. Emily grunted as she kept pulling, biting down on her lip, breathing through it one moment at a time. Seconds later they both fell backwards onto the roof, the girl landing on top of her aunt.

"It's okay," Emily whispered reassuringly. "You're safe now." Michelle clung silently to her aunt, heart pounding and tears in her eyes. Emily smiled, her heart beating just as frantically, sweat tricking down her brow. It felt as if she'd just given birth to the child, her very own 4'-8", 60 pound, nine-year-old, baby girl.

Derek worriedly shouted out their names as he came around the corner, gun drawn. He skidded to a halt, taking a moment to comprehend the scene. Morgan rushed to them and squatted beside Emily, searching both her and Michelle for injuries. "I think I skinned my knees," the child whispered.

He almost laughed, unbelievably relieved to hear the girl lamenting such a trivial thing. But then Morgan noticed the blood oozing from Emily's side and his heart leapt into his throat. "You're bleeding.

"It's not that bad," she told him.

Margaret made a guttural noise from behind them and all three heads turned toward her. Derek raised his gun, but he watched as blood flowed past her lips, two bullet holes causing her life to drain from her chest. "I guess you got your revenge after all," she groaned, staring at Emily. "You're not any better than your father."

"You're wrong," Emily replied, still cradling Michelle against her chest as she sat up. "It's not his blood running through my veins, nor is it my mother's," she told the woman. "It's mine. I am in charge of my own life and I plan to live the rest of it proudly as the daughter of Elizabeth and Joseph Prentiss. And I plan to raise Michelle to be as kind hearted and loving as her parents were, despite what you and that man did to them. _That_ is the sweetest revenge I could possibly imagine."

The old woman finally looked old. Tired. Deflated. "Maybe I'll see him there," she whispered, eyes glazed over.

"Who?" Emily couldn't help but ask.

"My father," Margaret replied, her voice a pale whisper, devoid of the hatred she'd held only minutes ago. "I wanted to be better. I wanted to find someone to love me the way he never could. He couldn't say the words. He was stone. He said I was no better than him. He said one day I'd die alone…"

Michelle looked to her aunt for only a second before her small hand reached out to the woman who she knew was her grandmother. She gently touched the woman's cold, limp hand. Like her parents before her, the girl showed Margaret compassion. Despite the last few hours of her life being held hostage by the woman, Michelle let her grandmother know she wasn't alone.

The woman drew a final breath and then laid there; vacant green eyes open and aimed toward the sky.

xxx

Derek clenched his teeth in sympathy as he watched the ER doctor stitch up the last of Emily's stab wounds. Thankfully the cuts had been shallow and missed all major arteries and organs. They'd still required several stitches and would be cause for considerable discomfort for the next week or so. But Emily seemed fairly oblivious to the pain or anything other than the girl bundled up beside her on the exam bed. Michelle's physical injuries had been far less dire, her minor scrapes and bruises had easily been cleaned and bandaged. Morgan knew the emotional toll on both of them would leave more lasting results than the physical ones.

"I'm sorry," Derek said as the doctor exited the curtained area. He held Emily's hand, feeling like he'd let them both down when they'd needed him the most. "You said she was close. I should've stuck with you, but we found that dairy truck down the block and I thought she'd ditched it for another car. I figured she was gone."

She hadn't heard Morgan berate himself quite so badly before. At least not since the night Ellie's father had been killed. "I'll go up, you go down," Emily repeated the words she'd said to him at the apartment building out on the fire escape.

He eyed her curiously for a moment and then his nostrils flared. "You knew she'd go up, didn't you?" Morgan asked.

Emily squeezed his hand lovingly, pleadingly. "Going to higher ground, gaining the upper hand," she shrugged, but winced a little from the small blaze of pain that hit her left side. "Yeah, I had a hunch she'd be up there," Emily admitted. "I didn't think she'd talk to me if you were around. I knew I had to do things on her terms," she added. "Otherwise," Emily sighed. "It all might have ended a lot worse." She watched him closely, worried about what he was thinking. "Are you mad?"

"Yes," his first answer was accompanied by a small shake of the head. But his hand remained clasped in hers. "But I forgive you," Derek added, leaning over to kiss her.

Michelle watched them, wanting to be a part of their loving union; their forgiveness. But something held her back. "I'm sorry, Emily," she spoke softly. "I'm sorry I rolled my eyes when you tried to tell me you loved me this morning. You can say it any time you want, even at school, and I won't care."

"Hey," Emily's full attention returned to her niece as she kissed the top of Michelle's head. "You know what; maybe we could talk in code at school when I drop you off in the mornings."

"What do you mean?" the girl asked, brows peeked in curiosity.

Derek's brows were spiked in a similar manner as he watched the two people he loved dearly interact. "Well," Emily considered her options. "Maybe I could say something like… good luck on that science quiz. But you and I would both know I was really saying I love you."

The child smiled for the first time all day. "That's silly, but I like it," she agreed.

Someone cleared their throat nearby and seconds later Rossi and Hotch stuck their heads around the curtain. "Everyone decent back here?" Dave asked. His comment eased the tension a little more as he and Hotch stepped toward Emily's bed. "You gave us all quite a scare, kiddo," Rossi gently patted the top of the girl's head, noticing how much she looked like her mother when she smiled. "You too," he added, shifting his gaze to Emily.

Hotch cracked a very small smile as he regarded Emily. "Now I really do have to agree with Strauss that you need some time off," he insisted. With a more serious tone he let her know that JJ and Reid were transporting her parents to the hospital.

It wasn't more than a few minutes after he'd said it that Elizabeth and Joseph Prentiss entered the room, followed closely by JJ and Reid. The four of them crowded around the already cramped space, but no one seemed ready to leave just yet. Elizabeth visibly relaxed upon spotting her daughter and granddaughter. "Agent Jareau let us know you'd been taken to the hospital, but she wasn't sure if…"

"We're fine," Emily was quick to assure her mother.

Joseph pulled a bright pink cell phone from his pocket and handed it to his granddaughter. "I believe a friend of yours has been trying to reach you," he let her know.

Michelle glanced at the phone for a few seconds, reading the messages her friend had sent. "Ellie's worried because she heard about the amber alert on the radio when her foster mom was driving her to school. I should tell her I'm okay." But she turned her attention back to her grandfather for a moment. "Thank you," the girl wasn't about to leave her aunt's side, not even for a hug from her grandparents, but she smiled at him. "You were right grandpa," she said.

"About what, peanut?" he asked.

"About Emily wanting to be a super hero when she grew up," Michelle replied very seriously. "Because she really is one," the child went on. "She didn't let me fall. She held on to me with her super power strength, even when Margaret was hurting her," Michelle concluded. There were bittersweet smiles all around, and even a few faint chuckles in response to the child's way of viewing the situation.

Emily kissed the girl's cheek. And as she watched Michelle text her friend, she thought there was a very fine line between being a super hero and a good parent.

xxx

She opened her eyes to darkness and took several slow, deep breaths to calm her racing heart. It was already several days past their ordeal with Margaret, but every night seemed to play out the same. Emily felt Derek's arms reach for her and she nestled her shoulders against his broad chest. Her eyes focused on the digital clock, the neon numbers reflecting a time that was well beyond midnight. "Another one?" Morgan whispered in her ear.

Her head nodded against his shoulder. She felt his fingers gently trace over the stitches beneath her night shirt. "This time Michelle didn't fall over the wall," Emily explained. She kept reliving that day a hundred different ways in her dreams. "But she watched me being stabbed to death by Margaret."

"None of that happened, Em," he spoke softly again, hoping to calm her demons. Derek wished there were some way to vanquish all the pain of the last few months, especially the last couple days. But all he could do was keep reassuring her. "You saved Michelle and you're alive. That's what matters. Sometimes dreams don't mean what we actually see happening in them. And sometimes they don't mean anything at all." His hand moved away from her side and traveled downward, caressing her belly, inching even further south.

Emily turned to him, pressing her lips to his mouth while he kept up his exploration. The creak of her bedroom door opening caused them both to jump. She turned to watch light pouring in from the hallway. And Michelle was standing there. Emily waved her in, also the same as she'd been doing the last few nights. "Can I sleep in here again?" Michelle asked. She always asked, never assumed.

"I'm sorry," Emily mouthed the words to Derek as the girl climbed in, sinking beneath the warm covers.

Morgan stroked her arm as she lay with her back against him again. "You have nothing to be sorry about," he whispered a reply.

"We haven't really talked about this," she continued. "But you know this is a permanent thing for me, right?" Emily aimed the question at him even as her eyes remained steadfastly focused on the girl curled against her stomach. "I'm in this for the duration," she made herself clear.

Derek nodded and kissed her temple. He knew she was talking about Michelle; about raising the girl, loving her, protecting her. "So am I," he vowed.

xxx

The park was alive that Saturday morning. Fresh new foliage on the deciduous trees, fir and pine needles standing the test of time. Birds chirping and flitting from tree to tree, blue sky with barely a cloud in sight. It was all nearly as sickeningly perfect as the day Emily had described to her sister when Anna had asked about Michelle's graduation. But that day was still years away. Today the girl walked with Emily and Derek, none of them up for anything more strenuous like their usual run or bike ride. Not even a week past their confrontation with Margaret, they were still dealing with the aftermath, but they needed a break from the confines of home.

"I think we should get ice cream," Derek suggested. "There's that little stand at the east end of the park."

"Really?" Michelle asked; a hopeful grin blooming on her face. At night the memories of her time with Margaret turned into bad dreams, but during the day she and Emily were both dealing with things one step at a time.

"You can't heal everything with food," Emily noted.

He took her contrary nature in stride, snatching up her hand and kissing her palm. "I'm not trying to heal everything," Derek countered. "But I am trying to help Michelle and you get through this. And I'm hoping to start make some happy memories for the three of us."

Emily stopped and turned to face him. "I'm sorry," she let out a breath, hearing her sister chide her for apologizing so much. When the two of them took a second to look around they smiled. They were standing near a familiar large maple tree, almost in the exact spot where he'd kissed her that first time in the fall. She remembered that kiss ending with her running from him, both literally and figuratively. But she'd finally stopped running.

"I guess we should really get back to our sit-up regime if this ice cream in the park is going to become a regular thing for us," Emily joked.

Morgan grinned. "I'll gladly do sit-ups with you any day of the week," he informed her.

"Oh, boy," Emily groaned. "You never warned me about your corny side."

"There's my corny side, my slightly nerdy side, my very suave side…" he playfully turned left to right as he listed each quality. "I've got a lot of sides," Derek concluded, pulling her close again. "You think you're ready for this whole package, the good and the bad?"

She nodded, recalling the way he'd already accepted everything about her, for better or worse. "I am," Emily easily agreed. She leaned in to capture his lips in a manner very different from their first kiss. Their encounter seven months ago had been a surprise, a rush of pent up emotions; a dare, a thirst for something they both wanted but were afraid to voice. But now their kisses were relaxed, gentle, promising; and sometimes needful, but only in the pursuit of reaffirming their love.

Michelle tugged at her aunt's arm, ending their all-too-brief union. "Look, its grandma and grandpa," the girl said, pointing further down the trail.

Eyes following Michelle's finger, Emily spotted her parents walking toward them. They were each dressed in casual clothing, jeans, sporty cotton shirts and comfy walking shoes. They were hardly recognizable as her parents. She immediately looked to Derek. "You did this?" Emily asked.

Morgan nodded. "You haven't talked to them since the hospital on Monday. I figured they must be wondering how you are, and how Michelle's coping."

"They could have called," Emily replied, watching as her niece skipped ahead to welcome her grandparents. She was glad to see the girl so happy. Emily was pleased to watch Michelle wander further than a few feet away from her, which hadn't been the case all week. But she still felt conflicted.

"You could have called too," Derek countered. "Will you try talking to her?

She wanted to reply with a definite yes, but Emily wasn't confidant about that. "I don't know," she honestly relayed. "My mother and I keep having these small moments where it almost feels normal between us, but then I just never know what to say to her."

He slid his arm around her shoulders as they steadily made their way along the trail to join Michelle, and Emily's parents. "Did you ever think that maybe she feels the same way," Derek said. "Maybe one of you just needs to take that first step," he suggested.

Emily greeted her parents. There was a quick kiss to her cheek from her father. A smile from her mother. She found herself longing for another hug from the woman, like the one her mother had offered the morning Michelle went missing. But instead she found herself asking, "Can we talk?"

The former ambassador nodded and followed her daughter over to a wooden bench which resided off to one side of the wide trail. They each sat down. They watched Michelle standing between her grandfather and Derek beside the shimmering pond. "How are you doing?" Elizabeth finally asked, facing her daughter.

"I'm pretty good," Emily replied.

"And Michelle?" the older woman inquired.

A shrug rose Emily's shoulders. "I think she's okay." In support of her words, a trickle of laughter flowed their way and they both looked up to see Michelle hiding behind her grandfather while Derek tried to grab hold of her. When he finally got close, Morgan tickled the girl and the three of them laughed louder. "She's a pretty resilient kid. I only hope I can pick up where Anna left off. Those are some big shoes to fill."

Elizabeth smiled reassuringly. "You'll do great."

"I'll need help," Emily sighed, not as confident.

"I imagine Derek will be there to help," her mother replied.

"Yes," Emily knew that fact was more than definite after the last five nights of him being by her side. "But I was also thinking about help from you and daddy. Michelle needs grandparents in her life, and you're the only ones she's got. And when I go back to work Derek and I will be gone for days at a time. It would be nice to know she's being looked after. Nice to know she's safe with her grandparents."

"We'd be happy to do that," Elizabeth agreed.

Emily closed her eyes for a second and breathed out slowly. She was glad to have her mother be so agreeable, but she hated how professional their conversation sounded. Remembering what Derek had said about one of them taking the first step spurned her forward. "You were right about us finding Michelle."

"Not us, _you_," the older woman replied. "I did nothing. I didn't know what to do, just like with Anna," she confessed.

"You're wrong, mother," Emily felt the damn begin to crack. "You gave me hope. Your words gave me the strength I needed to find her."

"You would've found that strength without me."

She shrugged. "I don't know, maybe… but knowing that you were there, knowing that you believed in me," Emily gulped. "It made a huge difference, mother."

"Emily, I need to tell you…"

"Don't, we can leave it. It's…" Emily paused, not exactly sure how to forgive and forget. But she wanted to try. She wanted to try harder than Margaret.

"No," Elizabeth reached out to take her daughter's hand. It was such a simple gesture of affection, but one she'd rarely partaken of. "You said you could never forgive me for keeping the truth from you," her words suddenly spilled forth. "I can live with that. But I want you to know that I've tried to regret what I did. And part of me does, because of how much I hurt your father," she confessed.

"But…" she nearly choked on the simple word. "How could I ever regret having you?" Elizabeth's head shook to convey that it had never been a possibility for her. "I love you, your father loves you. Charlotte was over the moon becoming a big sister, and she loved you so much these past few months," she took a deep breath. "I only ever wanted to protect you, and that meant I couldn't tell you the truth. Because I never wanted you to think for one second that you weren't wanted or loved."

Instead of waiting idly for the hug she'd desired from her mother, Emily reached out and took it. She wrapped her arms around her mother and held on for a long time, finally pushing the past further into the past. As she sat there Emily was confronted by the voices of her father and her sister. _Please don't stay mad at mother forever_. _I did it because I loved her_. "I forgive you, because I love you," she echoed her father's sentiment. "I forgive you, mom."

Both women pulled out of the embrace at the same time. They discreetly tried to swipe tears from their eyes. "You mentioned taking your sister's ashes to Kansas," Elizabeth broached the subject. "To be with Eric?"

"Yes," Emily nodded. "I thought I'd wait until this summer, after Michelle finishes the school year."

"Of course," the older woman agreed that would be best. "Well, your… um, _your father_," she spoke the words with more confidence. "He and I were wondering if maybe we could go with you on that trip."

"Sure," the answer came easily, though Emily was sure the trip would not be. "You're more than welcome. I thought about asking, but I wasn't sure how you'd feel and I guess… well, I think it would be good for all of us," she concluded.

"Emily…" Michelle's sweet voice called out. "Grandma…" the girl persisted, drawing out the syllables in both the names she spoke as she hurried toward them. "Derek says all the ice cream will be gone if we don't get it now," Michelle grabbed one hand from each of them and pulled, insisting that the two women get to their feet.

They obligingly followed Michelle's lead and the three of them rejoined Derek and Joseph who were still congregated by the edge of the pond. "I think we should be more worried that Derek will eat all the ice cream," Emily teased him as she grasped his hand with her free one, the other still firmly locked in Michelle's grasp.

Derek winked at her. "A valid concern," he played along.

Michelle kept hold of her aunt and grandmother's hands as she walked between them, like the link in a chain that had been newly repaired. "Did you know that Emily makes the best pancakes?" she asked the older woman. "My mom taught her how, except Emily sometimes adds chocolate chips. Mommy never did that, but they're really good. I think someday you and grandpa should come over to have breakfast with us and she'll make them."

Elizabeth nodded. "I'd like that very much," she told her granddaughter; slowly letting go of her pain, and of the past. Slowly learning what it meant to be alive again for the first time in many years.

"I like chocolate ice cream the best," Michelle rambled on. "What's your favorite ice cream, grandma?"

"Definitely chocolate," Elizabeth agreed.

The girl's eyes lit up. "And that was mommy's favorite."

"Mine too," Emily joined in.

Elizabeth smiled to hear that. It was possibly the first real smile she'd experienced in forty years. "I guess that's one thing all four of us had in common."

"Other than being family," Emily added. She was sad her sister couldn't be there, but she knew Anna lived on in the spirit of her little girl. A child that had cemented all of their lives together as a family. Emily squeezed Derek's hand as she leaned against his shoulder, both of them taking slow steady steps along with the rest of their group. "Thank you," she whispered. "I'm glad you arranged this."

His head shook. "This isn't something I ever could have arranged, or imagined," Derek chuckled, watching the unlikely group as they walked five abreast down the trail; he and Joseph acting like two book ends attempting to contain three intricately written, and uniquely different, female novels. "All I did was give you a little nudge. You're the one who found forgiveness in your heart." Morgan kissed her cheek. "Because that's just the kind of person you are."

* * *

**The End**

**Well, I guess that means this one is finished. Thank you all for reading. Special thanks to those who commented and cheered me on along the way. I already have several one-shot follow ups plotted for this. They'll eventually be posted under my _Maze of Moments_ heading, if anyone is interested.**


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